Lord Caversham Quotes in An Ideal Husband (1999)

Lord Caversham: I don't know how you stand society. A lot of damned nobodies talking about nothing.

Lord Arthur Goring: I love talking about nothing, Father. It's the only thing I know anything about.

Lord Caversham: That is a paradox, sir. I hate paradoxes.

Lord Caversham: Do you always understand everything you say?

Lord Arthur Goring: Yes... if I listen attentively.

Lord Caversham: Conceited young puppy!

Lord Caversham: What are you doing here, sir? Wasting your time, as usual?

Lord Arthur Goring: My dear father, when one pays a visit, it is for the purpose of wasting other people's time and not one's own.

Lord Caversham: Married yet?

Lord Arthur Goring: Ask me again in half an hour.

Lord Arthur Goring: I'm sorry, Father, but the truth is, this is not my day for talking seriously.

Lord Caversham: Well, what do you mean, sir?

Lord Arthur Goring: I mean that I only talk seriously on the first Tuesday of every month. Between noon and three.

Lord Caversham: You are 36.

Lord Arthur Goring: Shh! Father! I only admit to 32.

Lord Caversham: Now, if you don't make her an ideal husband, I'll cut you off with a shilling.

Mabel: An ideal husband? Oh, I don't think I should like that.

Lord Caversham: What do you want him to be then, my dear?

Mabel: I think he can be whatever he chooses.

Lord Caversham: You don't deserve her, sir.

Lord Arthur Goring: My dear father, if we men married the women we deserved... we should have a very bad time of it.

Lord Arthur Goring: There's somebody I want you to talk to.

Lord Caversham: What about?

Lord Arthur Goring: About me, sir.

Lord Caversham: Not a subject on which much eloquence is possible.