Lonny Quotes in Boys Don't Cry (1999)

Brandon: [on Lana] I'm going to ask her to marry me.

Lonny: Before or after your sex-change operation? Before or after you tell her you're a girl?

Brandon: Shut up!

Lonny: My name is Carol, I'm so old I died in the beginning of "Up!"

Dennis Dupree: Shit! Our opener just dropped out.

Lonny: Concrete Balls?

Dennis Dupree: They're in rehab.

Lonny: Both of them?

Dennis Dupree: There's six of them!

Lonny: Jesus, that band's got a lot of balls!

Dennis Dupree: Betty Ford had a group rate.

Lonny: Do you think they do therapy individually, or in pairs?

Dennis Dupree: Knock it off!

Dennis Dupree: I just threw up.

Lonny: Where?

Dennis Dupree: In my pants... out of my ass.

Sherrie Christian: He's better than Concrete Balls.

Lonny: That's a good point, Concrete Balls are very heavy.

Lonny: [looking at Patricia Whitmore] Now look at him, married to a woman who looks like she's been hibernating in Margaret Thatcher's bumhole.

Lonny: Drew... what's the name of your band, mate?

Drew Boley: Wolfgang Von Colt.

Lonny: ...and you're sticking with that are you?

Drew Boley: Yeah...

Lonny: [to audience] Please welcome to the stage very poorly titled Wolfgang Van Colt!

Drew Boley: ...Von Colt.

Lonny: [to Drew] It's not an improvement.

[to audience]

Lonny: Wolfgang VON Colt!

Lonny: Why is everybody quitting today?

Lonny: [to Drew] You beautiful bastard.

Lonny: [playing "Donkey Kong" arcade game] No! Nobody puts Donkey in the corner!

Crowd: Stacee! Stacee! Stacee!

Lonny: Ladies and gentlemen are you ready to rock? Welcome to the famous Bourbon Room on the Sunset Strip... Stacee Jaxx and Arsenal!

Stacee Jaxx: Hey Los Angeles! This is a little song called "Paradise City"!

Lonny: [rubbing a microphone on his crotch] Sniff the mic!

Lonny: [to audience] Performing on this stage later will be none other than Stacee Jaxx!

[crowd cheers]

Lonny: ...but first! Making their debut on the Bourbon stage, the less important, but still somehow worthwhile...

[uncrumbles piece of paper and reads from]

Lonny: ... Z Guyeez... z?

Lonny: [shrugs] Eh, sure, give it a whirl I suppose.

Lonny: Dude, face the fear.