Longbaugh Quotes in The Way of the Gun (2000)

Longbaugh: There's always free cheese in a mousetrap.

[Parker and Longbaugh are looking at the cash out in the open at the brothel]

Longbaugh: What do you think?

Parker: I think a plan is just a list of things that don't happen.

Longbaugh: Until that day then?

Joe Sarno: Until that day.

Longbaugh: I've... never killed a man.

Interviewer: I beg your pardon?

Longbaugh: I said I never killed a man.

Interviewer: I didn't ask if you had.

Longbaugh: You asked why I thought I was qualified, I think of that as qualification.

Interviewer: And I'm just wondering why that in particular strikes you as an important qualification for semen donation.

Longbaugh: I would say thats a big fucking qualification - excuse me, a very important qualification.

Interviewer: No one's ever said that before.

Longbaugh: Have you ever asked?

Interviewer: No.

Longbaugh: You should.

Longbaugh: I've been watching them pile up. Nightstick, flashlight, bulletproof vest.

Joe Sarno: Fuckin' utility belts, right?

Longbaugh: Fuckin' sign on his head reading "Why Bother?"

Joe Sarno: Hey, they love to say shit like "ascertain".

Longbaugh: "Surveillance."

Joe Sarno: "Affirmative."

Longbaugh: "I need backup."

Joe Sarno: "Adjudicate."

Longbaugh: "Adjudicate"?

Joe Sarno: Yeah, well...

Longbaugh: But, you know, then you got the other side. You got these trigger-happy cocksuckers all about the shooting and posturing and 'you don't know who I am' kind of thing..."I been to prison."

Joe Sarno: 'cuase you got caught, dumb fuck.

Longbaugh: These days, they want to be criminals more than they want to commit crime.

Joe Sarno: Well that's... that's not just crime. That's the way of the world.

Longbaugh: A heart is the only thing that has value. If you have one, get rid of it.

Joe Sarno: So, you the brains of this outfit, or is he?

Longbaugh: Tell ya the truth, I don't think this is a brains kind of operation.

Longbaugh: You know what I'm gonna tell God when I see him? I'm gonna tell him I was framed.

Longbaugh: We die here, we die alone

Longbaugh: Why's that such a big deal?

Interviewer: Because no one brings up sex with dead people!

Longbaugh: 'Course they don't, it's sick.

Interviewer: You brought it up!

Longbaugh: Only to say I never did it.

Interviewer: I didn't ask you that.

Longbaugh: [smiling] You should.

Longbaugh: Wanna get out now? Wanna quit? This is never gonna come your way again.

Longbaugh: You have too much faith in people.

Parker: How can you kidnap somebody without it?

Longbaugh: If I wanna hit her, I hit. If I wanna miss her, I miss.