Long Duk Dong Quotes in Sixteen Candles (1984)

Long Duk Dong: What's happenin', hot stuff?

Long Duk Dong: No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food!

[Long Duk Dong is dancing with Lumberjack, his head is on her ample chest]

Lumberjack: So... What's your name?

Long Duk Dong: Dong.

Lumberjack: What's your first name?

Long Duk Dong: Long.

Lumberjack: What's your middle name?

Long Duk Dong: Duk.

Long Duk Dong: Ohhh, sexy girlfriend!... Bonzai!

[Jake rings doorbell at Samantha's house]

Long Duk Dong: Okay. I'm comin'.

[opens closet door]

Long Duk Dong: Hello? Jeez, this place is so confusing. Okay.

[opens front door, screams and shuts door]

Long Duk Dong: Go away! I call F.I.B. I call police! Go away!

Jake: Open the door.

Long Duk Dong: No way, Jose!

Jake: Open the door.

Long Duk Dong: You beat up my face.

Jake: You grabbed my nuts.

Long Duk Dong: [looks through frosted glass on door] Is that you?

Jake: Yeah, that me.

Long Duk Dong: [opens door] Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought you my new - new-style American girlfriend.

Jake: Forget it, man. Just get Samantha, all right?

Long Duk Dong: She not here.

Jake: Don't jerk me around, man. Where is she?

Long Duk Dong: She got married.

Jake: What?

Long Duk Dong: She at the church. She getting married to oily bohunk.

Jake: Married?

Long Duk Dong: Married.

Jake: Married?

Long Duk Dong: Yeah. Married

[closes door]

Jake: [turns around, under breath to himself] Married?

Long Duk Dong: Married! Jeez.

Long Duk Dong: Very clever dinner. Appetizing food fit neatly into interesting round pie.

Mike Baker: It's a quiche.

Long Duk Dong: How do you spell?

Grandpa Fred: Well you don't spell it, son, you eat it.

[laughs]

Howard: Dong. Where is my automobile?

Long Duk Dong: Oto-mo-biiile?

[laughing]

Long Duk Dong: [Imitating race car. Imitating crash] Wreck. Big wreck.

Dorothy Baker: Why, you little scuzzbag!

[She kicks Dong in the groin]