Lomper Quotes in The Full Monty (1997)

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Lomper Quotes:

  • Dave: Well, I just pray they're a bit more understanding about us, that's all.

    Horse: You what?

    Dave: Well, they're going to be looking at us like that, aren't they, Eh? I mean, what if next Friday 400 women turn 'round and say "He's too fat, he's too old and he's a pigeon-chested little tosser."? What happens then, eh?

    Horse: They wouldn't say that, would they?

    Dave: Why not? He's just said her tits are too big.

    Lomper: That's different. We're... blokes.

    Dave: Yeah, and?

    Gerald: I think she's got nice tits, actually.

    Lomper: I never said owt about her personality, like. I mean, she's probably quite nice if you get to know her.

    Dave: No. And they won't say nowt about your personality neither. Which is good 'cause you're basically a bastard. Bollocks to your personality - this is what they're looking at, right? And I'll tell you summat, mate. Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is none.

  • Dave: [discussing possible means of suicide] I know. You could stand in middle of road and have a mate run smack into you right fast.

    Lomper: Haven't got any mates...

    Gary 'Gaz' Schofield: Listen to you, we just saved your fucking life so don't tell us we're not your mates, all right?

    Lomper: Really?

    Gary 'Gaz' Schofield: Yeah.

    Lomper: Thanks. Thanks a lot.

    Dave: Yeah, me and all, I'd run ya down as soon as look at ya.

    Lomper: Oh aye? Cheers.

  • Dave: [discussing possible means of suicide] Drownin'. Now there's a way to go.

    Lomper: I can't swim.

    Gaz: Well you don't have to fucking swim, you divvy, that's the whole point. God, you're not very keen are you?

    Lomper: Sorry...

  • Dave: The less I eat, the fatter I get.

    Lomper: So stuff yourself and get thin!

  • Horse: No, but... what I mean to say is... my willy...

    Lomper: *Your* willy? *My* willy!

  • Lomper: [Lomper comes in to find his mum trying to get up the stairs by herself] What are you doin', mum?

    Lomper's Mum: Where've you been?

    Lomper: Drivin'.

    Lomper's Mum: Drivin' where?

    Lomper: Just drivin'!

    Lomper's Mum: [pause] Thought you'd gone.

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Characters on The Full Monty (1997)