Lomper Quotes in The Full Monty (1997)
Lomper Quotes:
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Dave: Well, I just pray they're a bit more understanding about us, that's all.
Horse: You what?
Dave: Well, they're going to be looking at us like that, aren't they, Eh? I mean, what if next Friday 400 women turn 'round and say "He's too fat, he's too old and he's a pigeon-chested little tosser."? What happens then, eh?
Horse: They wouldn't say that, would they?
Dave: Why not? He's just said her tits are too big.
Lomper: That's different. We're... blokes.
Dave: Yeah, and?
Gerald: I think she's got nice tits, actually.
Lomper: I never said owt about her personality, like. I mean, she's probably quite nice if you get to know her.
Dave: No. And they won't say nowt about your personality neither. Which is good 'cause you're basically a bastard. Bollocks to your personality - this is what they're looking at, right? And I'll tell you summat, mate. Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is none.
-- Lomper -
Dave: [discussing possible means of suicide] I know. You could stand in middle of road and have a mate run smack into you right fast.
Lomper: Haven't got any mates...
Gary 'Gaz' Schofield: Listen to you, we just saved your fucking life so don't tell us we're not your mates, all right?
Lomper: Really?
Gary 'Gaz' Schofield: Yeah.
Lomper: Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Dave: Yeah, me and all, I'd run ya down as soon as look at ya.
Lomper: Oh aye? Cheers.
-- Lomper -
Dave: [discussing possible means of suicide] Drownin'. Now there's a way to go.
Lomper: I can't swim.
Gaz: Well you don't have to fucking swim, you divvy, that's the whole point. God, you're not very keen are you?
Lomper: Sorry...
-- Lomper -
Dave: The less I eat, the fatter I get.
Lomper: So stuff yourself and get thin!
-- Lomper -
Horse: No, but... what I mean to say is... my willy...
Lomper: *Your* willy? *My* willy!
-- Lomper -
Lomper: [Lomper comes in to find his mum trying to get up the stairs by herself] What are you doin', mum?
Lomper's Mum: Where've you been?
Lomper: Drivin'.
Lomper's Mum: Drivin' where?
Lomper: Just drivin'!
Lomper's Mum: [pause] Thought you'd gone.
-- Lomper
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