Little John Quotes in Robin Hood (2010)

Friar Tuck: So why do they call you 'Little John'?

Little John: What are you tryin' to get at? I'm proportionate!

Little John: [During Battle] Archer stay alive, I'll see you tonight.

Robin Longstride: Don't forget your money this time little man, I'll be pleased to take it off of you.

Little John: [after spotting a tall woman at a party] She's about my size. I'm going to make her smile.

[then yelling to the girl]

Little John: I'm going to make you smile!

Little John: Sing something about a woman... a large woman.

Will Scarlett: It was your anger that drove them apart! It's not a lie! You ruined my life! I have more reason to hate you than anyone. But I found myself daring to believe you. What I want to know brother, is will you stay with us and finish what you've started?

Robin Hood: I have a brother? I have a brother!

[hugs and holds Will]

Robin Hood: So I'll stand with you, side by side. Until the end.

Bull: Until the end!

Little John: We are all bloody in!

Friar Tuck: Damn buggers!

Robin Hood: We finish this.

Little John: Are you bleedin' cracked, girl? You'd get hurt.

Fanny: I've given birth to eight babies. Don't you talk to me about gettin' hurt, ya big ox.

[after causing Robin to fall in the river]

Will Scarlett: There was a rich man from Nottingham/ who tried to cross a river/ What a dope/ he tripped on a rope/ Now look at him shiver. Beg for mercy, rich man.

Robin Hood: I beg of no man, as you can see I have nothing, not even my sword.

Little John: Any man who travels with two servants and says he has no money, is either a fool or a liar.

Will Scarlett: Yeah, he's a liar.

[Robin is holding a struggling Little John by the neck in a river]

Robin Hood: Do you yield?

Little John: I can't bloody swim.

Robin Hood: Do you yield?

Little John: Yes.

Robin Hood: Good. Now put your feet down.

[the outlaws are passing a jug of mead around a circle; one of them finishes, then starts to pass the bottle past Azeem]

Robin Hood: Has English hospitality changed so much that a friend of mine's not welcome?

Hal: But he's a savage, sire.

Robin Hood: That he is... but no more than you or I. And don't call me sire.

[the woodsman offers the jug to Azeem]

Azeem: Regretfully, I must decline. Allah forbids it.

Little John: Your bloody loss, mate.

Robin Hood: My father was no devil worshiper. And I'll have words with any man who says otherwise. But he's right. I was a rich man's son. When I killed the sheriff's men, I became an outlaw like you.

Will Scarlett: You are nothing like us.

[leaves]

Little John: That is Will Scarlet. Take no notice of him, he's full of piss and wind. Come on lads, drink up. Don't talk about so much bloody rubbish. This here is the best that we simple men can expect. Here we're safe. We are kings!

[after Robin defeats Little John, and asks for his father's medallion back]

Little John: Give me your name first.

Robin Hood: Robin of Locksley.

[the camera shifts to Will Scarlet, whose face suddenly clouds over]

Little John: Well, Robin of Locksley, you've got balls of solid rock.

Little John: It'll take all the deer in Sherwood Forest to fill that belly!

Friar Tuck: And twice that to fill your empty head!

Robin Hood: Give way, little man.

Little John: Only to a better man than meself.

Robin Hood: He stands before you.

Little John: You'll sweat the lard out of that fat carcass of yours before this day is over, my pudgy friend.

Friar Tuck: And I hope some Norman sword whittles you down to size.

Little John: For the crown!

Alan and the Troupe: The crown lives forever!

Little John: These are the weapons you have chosen. You may not draw weapons from the rack. Good luck.

Little John: Let's face it. You've gotta be a man to wear tights!

Little John: Let me introduce you to my best friend: Will Scarlet.

Scarlet: Scarlet's my middle name. My full name is Will Scarlet O'Hara.

[pause]

Scarlet: We're from Georgia.

Robin Hood: And who might you be?

Little John: Oh, they call me Little John. But don't let my name fool you. In real life, I'm very big.

Robin Hood: I'll take your word for it.

Rabbi Tuckman: I am Rabbi Tuckman, purveyor of sacramental wine and moyel extraordinaire.

Merry Men: 'ello Rabbi!

Rabbi Tuckman: Hello boys!

Robin Hood: A moyel... I don't believe I've ever heard of that profession.

Rabbi Tuckman: A moyel is a very important guy. He makes circumcisions.

Scarlet: What, pray tell, sir, is a circumcision?

Rabbi Tuckman: It's the latest craze. The ladies love it!

Little John: I'll take one!

Ahchoo: Hey, put me down for two!

Robin Hood: I'm game. How's it done?

Rabbi Tuckman: It's a snap.

[demonstrates with a carrot and a miniature guillotine]

Rabbi Tuckman: I take my machine here, I take your little thing, I put it through this hole, and then...

[releases the blade, cutting the end off the carrot]

Rabbi Tuckman: I nip the tip! Whose first?

Merry Men: [groan]

Little John: I changed me mind!

Ahchoo: I forgot, I already got one.

Blinkin: [puts his hand in the air] Question...

[Ahchoo pulls his arm down silencing him]

Rabbi Tuckman: I gotta start working with a younger crowd.

Robin Hood: Kindly let me pass.

Little John: Uh, no. Sorry, but a toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll, and if we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls.

[Proudly]

Little John: I made that up.

Robin Hood: It's very fascinating. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to hurt you.

Little John: A toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll. And if we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls. I made that up.

Robin Hood: This is Ahchoo.

Little John: Bless you!

Ahchoo: [laughs] No, that's my name, man. Ahchoo.

Little John: You know somethin', Robin. I was just wonderin', are we good guys or bad guys? You know, I mean, uh? Our robbin' the rich to feed the poor.

Robin Hood: Rob? Tsk tsk tsk. That's a naughty word. We never rob. We just sort of borrow a bit from those who can afford it.

Little John: Borrow? Boy, are we in debt.

Robin Hood: [He and Little John are dressed as Gypsy women] Ooh-de-la-lay! Ooh-de-la-lay! Fortune tellers!

Little John: Fortunes forecast! Lucky charms!

Robin Hood: Catch the dope with your horoscope!

Little John: [as Sir Reginald] Ah, milord, the esteemed royal sovereign of the realm. The head man himself. You're beautiful.

Prince John: Such savoir faire eclat elan, Hiss.

Little John: You took the words right out of my mouth, P.J.

Prince John: [Absolutely delighted] P.J.! I like that, do you know I do! Hiss, put it on my luggage.

Little John: You're burning the chow!

Robin Hood: Sorry, Johnny. Guess I was thinking about Maid Marian again. I can't help it. I love her, Johnny.

Little John: Look, why don't you stop moonin' and mopin' around? - Just - Just marry the girl.

Robin Hood: Marry her? You don't just walk up to a girl, hand her a bouquet and say, "Hey, remember me? We were kids together. Will you marry me?" No. It just isn't done that way.

Little John: Aw, come on, Robbie. Climb the castle walls. Sweep her off her feet. Carry her off in style.

Robin Hood: It's no use, Johnny. I've thought it all out, and... it just wouldn't work. Besides, what have I got to offer her?

Little John: Well, for one thing, you can't cook.

Robin Hood: I'm serious, Johnny. She's a highborn lady of quality.

Little John: So she's got class? So what?

Robin Hood: I'm an outlaw, that's what. That's no life for a lovely lady. Always on the run. What kind of a future is that?

Friar Tuck: Oh, for heaven's sake, son. You're no outlaw. Why, someday you'll be called a great hero.

Robin Hood: A hero? Do you hear that, Johnny? We've just been pardoned.

Little John: That's a gas. We ain't even been arrested yet.

Friar Tuck: Alright, laugh, you two rouges, but there's gonna be a big to-do in Nottingham.

[tastes the stew and coughs]

Friar Tuck: Well done, ain't it? Old Prince John's having a championship archery tournament tomorrow.

Little John: Archery tournament? Huh! Old Rob could win that standing on his head. Huh, Rob?

Robin Hood: Thank you, Little John, but I'm sure we're not invited.

Friar Tuck: No, but there's somebody who will be very dissapointed if you don't come.

Little John: Yeah, ol' Bushel Britches, the Honorable Sheriff of Nottingham.

Friar Tuck: No, Maid Marian.

Robin Hood: Maid Marian?

Friar Tuck: Yeah. She's gonna give a kiss to the winner.

[laughs]

Robin Hood: A kiss to the winner? Oodelaly! Come on, Johnny! What are we waiting for?

Friar Tuck: Wait a minute, Rob. Hold it. That place will be crawling with soldiers.

Robin Hood: Ah, but remember faint hearts never won fair lady. Fear not, my friends.

[he shoots an arrow, it ricochets off a washing tub; Robin then throws his hat in the air, where it is ran through by the arrow and lands back on his head]

Robin Hood: This will be my greatest performance.

Prince John: Stop! Executioner, stop! Hold your axe!

Little John: [threatening him with a dagger] Okay, big shot, now tell him to untie my buddy, or I'll.

Prince John: Sheriff, release my buddy! I mean, release the prisoner!

Sheriff of Nottingham: Untie the prisoner?

Clucky: You heard what he said, bushel britches!

Prince John: Sheriff, I make the rules! And since I'm head man.

[to Little John]

Prince John: Not so hard, you mean thing.

[back to the Sheriff]

Prince John: Let him go, for heaven sakes! Let him go!

Little John: The prince? Wait a minute. There's a law against robbing royalty. I'll catch you later.

Little John: [after sitting on Hiss] Oh, excuse me, Buster.

Hiss: Buster? You, sir, have taken my seat!

Prince John: [laughs] Hiss, with you around, who needs a court jester?

Robin Hood: [sees Maid Marian] There she is, Little John. Isn't she beautiful?

Little John: Cool it, loverboy! You're heart's running away with your head!

Robin Hood: Ah, stop worrying. This disguise will fool my own mother.

Little John: Yeah, but your mom ain't here. You gotta fool ol' Bushel Britches.

Little John: I am Sir Reginald, Duke of Chutney. And don't stick your tongue out at me, kid.

Friar Tuck: Little John? It can't be.

Little John: [unchains Friar Tuck] Shh. Quiet, we're busting out here.

Friar Tuck: Thank God. My prayers have been answered.

Little John: [singing] All the world will sing of an English king a thousand years from now / And not because he's passed some law or had that lofty brow / While bonnie good King Richard leads the Great Crusade he's on / We'll all have to slave away for good for nothing, John / Incredible as he is inept / Whenever the history books are kept, they'll call him the Phony King of England.

Friar Tuck: [singing] A pox on the Phony King of England.

Little John: Hey! Who's drivin' this flyin' umbrella?

Little John: You know something, Robin? You're taking too many chances.

Robin Hood: Chances? You must be joking! That was just a bit of a lark, Little John.

Little John: Oh, yeah? Take a look at your hat. That's not a candle on a cake.

Robin Hood: [regarding the arrow in his hat] Hello! This one almost had my name on it, didn't it? They're getting better, you know. You've got to admit it! They are getting better.

Little John: Yeah, the next thing you know, that sheriff will probably have a rope around our necks!

[gags as he chokes himself]

Little John: Pretty hard to laugh hanging there, Rob!

Robin Hood: The sheriff and his whole posse couldn't lift you off the ground.

Little John: And now, your mightiness, allow me to lay some protocol on you.

Prince John: Oh, no, forgive me, but I lose more jewels that way.

Robin Hood: That's all of them. Get going!

Little John: This ain't no hayride. Let's move it outta here. Ho!

Friar Tuck: On to Sherwood Forest!

Sheriff of Nottingham: [Little John is secretly holding a dagger on Prince John and demanding Robin Hood's release] There's something funny going on around here.

Little John: [whispering] Now, P.J. tell my pal to kiss Maid Marian, or I've just found a new pincushion.

[the Sheriff goes behind the throne and sees Little John]

Sheriff of Nottingham: Why, you!

[tries to hit Little John with his sword, but misses. Little John lets go of Prince John and hits the Sheriff back]

Prince John: [shouts] Kill him! Don't stand there, kill him!

Little John: Ooh, what a main event this is! What a beautiful brawl!

Little John: Where do we go? Which way?

Robin Hood: North.

Little John: Why north?

Robin Hood: England's there. Let's go home, John.

Robin Hood: [Robin and Will are about to be executed] How can you eat?

Little John: [shrugs] I'm hungry.

Little John: [aiming an arrow at Sir Ranulf's face] Next time you ride into Sherwood, keep your visor down!

Little John: [to Robin] If I'd not met you, think what I'd have missed.

Little John: When your opponent's sittin' there holding all aces, there's only one thing left to do: Kick over the table.

Little John: Be careful or six of your best friends will be carrying you by the handles.

Little John: [referring to Marian] Where did he dig that up?

Six Seconds: At the cemetery.