Lisa Simpson Quotes in The Simpsons Movie (2007)

[Bart claps]

Lisa Simpson: What are you doing, Bart?

Bart Simpson: Eh, just passing the time.

[Bart claps, snow repeatedly falls on Homer]

Homer Simpson: Aw, my boy loves Alaska so much, he's applauding it. Lisa, why aren't you clapping?

Lisa Simpson: But Dad!

Homer Simpson: [sternly] Clap for Alaska!

[Lisa claps along with Bart]

Homer Simpson: [Homer is buried under an avalanche]

Colin: I'm Colin.

Lisa Simpson: I haven't seen you at school

Colin: Just moved from Ireland. My dad's a musician.

Lisa Simpson: Is he...?

Colin: He's not Bono.

Lisa Simpson: I just thought because you're Irish and you care about...

Colin: He's NOT Bono.

Lisa Simpson: This town is just one piece of trash away from a toxic nightmare! But I knew you wouldn't listen. So I took the liberty of pouring water from the lake in all your drinking glasses!

[everyone spits out their water in disgust]

Moe: See, this is why we should hate kids!

Lisa Simpson: Mom, I've got to go find Colin.

Marge Simpson: Not now, sweetie. Doomsday is family time.

Lisa Simpson: But I'm so angry.

Marge Simpson: You're a woman. You can hold on to it forever.

[Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day sings "da-da-da" to the final part of the Simpsons tune, following his teleprompter]

Billie Joe Armstrong: Alright, well thanks a lot for coming. We've been playing for three and a half hours, now we'd like just a minute of your time to say something about the environment.

[there is a deathly silence, followed by huge boos from the Springfieldians. They start throwing things at Green Day]

Barney Gumble: Preachy!

Billie Joe Armstrong: We're not being preachy!

Tre Cool: But the pollution in your lake - it's dissolving our barge!

[Moe is sitting in a deck chair. Lisa is standing next to him]

Lisa Simpson: I thought they touched on a vital issue.

Moe: I beg to differ.

[He throws a rock at the stage, which penetrates the bass drum and hits Frank in the crotch]

Tre Cool: Oh.

Mike Dirnt: Gentlemen, it's been an honour playing with you tonight.

[Green Day put down their instruments and bring out violins as the barge sinks. Lisa looks on woefully]

Homer Simpson: So, who wants waffles?

Bart Simpson, Grampa, Lisa Simpson: I do! I do! I do!

Marge Simpson: What about Grampa?

Bart Simpson: I want syrup!

Lisa Simpson: I want strawberries!

Marge Simpson: Shouldn't we be concerned about what happened in church?

Homer Simpson: I'll tell you what happened. A certain someone had a senior moment, but that's okay, because we love him anyway, and we got a free rug out of it.

[Kisses Grampa on the forehead]

Marge Simpson: What's the point of going to church every Sunday if when someone we love has a genuine religious experience we ignore it? Right, Grampa?

Grampa: I want bananas on my waffles.

Homer Simpson: I rest my case.

Lisa Simpson: [during end credits] It looks like Maggie has something to say!

Marge Simpson: Oh my God! Her first word!

Maggie Simpson: [takes pacifier out of mouth]

[pause]

Maggie Simpson: Sequel?

Lisa Simpson: [Lisa and Colin are pressing their hands against the glass] I never thought my life would have an absolutely perfect moment, but this...

Bart Simpson: [sing-song] Lisa's got a boyfriend / That she'll never see again!

[Lisa cold-cocks Bart]

Lisa Simpson: You monster! You monster!

Homer Simpson: Uh, did you see the news?

[the wrecking ball dings the truck Marge, Lisa and Bart are in]

Bart Simpson: Did you hear something?

Lisa Simpson: Probably just a moth.

Marge Simpson: I hope it's okay.

Lisa Simpson: Colin! Colin!

Milhouse: Lisa, Colin is dead.

[Lisa gasps]

Milhouse: His last words were, "Milhouse, take care of Lisa. Hold her hand."

[realizes Colin is standing beside him]

Milhouse: Uh, I got her all warmed up for ya.

Lisa Simpson: Our crisis level will be here.

Lenny: That's not so bad.

Lisa Simpson: No, this forklift is messed up.

[the forklift goes crazy until it is back to normal]

Lisa Simpson: Am I getting through to anyone?

Krusty the Clown: Hell yeah, we need a new one of those things!

Bart Simpson: Let us out! Let us out!

EPA Official: Stop that! You'll scratch your shackles!

Bart Simpson: I hope I do!

[rubs shackles on cage, a gas then enters the truck]

Lisa Simpson: Oh way to go Bart!

Bart Simpson: [drugged] You stink.

Lisa Simpson: [even more drugged] No you stink.

[they both pass out]

Lisa Simpson: [Knocks on door] Hello, sorry to bother you on a Sunday , but I'm sure you're as worried about the pollution in Lake Springfield as I am...

[Door slams, Lisa knocks at the next house]

Lisa Simpson: Lake Springfield has higher levels of mercury than even...

[Door slams, Lisa knocks at the next door]

Sweet Old Lady: Why, it's the little girl who saved my cat.

Lisa Simpson: Lake Springfield...

[Door slams]

Lisa Simpson: Oh.

Homer Simpson: I've always been afraid I'd screw up our lives so bad that I've had to come up with a back-up plan. And that plan is right here!

[Pulls out wallet; takes out Monopoly "Get Out Of Jail Free" card]

Homer Simpson: No.

[Takes out photo of Michael Jordan with his face taped over it]

Homer Simpson: No.

[Takes out folded piece of paper]

Homer Simpson: Bingo!

[Unfolds paper; it takes a long time]

Homer Simpson: Bear with me.

[finally unfolds paper, a huge poster of Alaska with the tagline "A Fresh Start"]

Lisa Simpson: Alaska?

Homer Simpson: Alaska! Where you can't be too fat or too drunk. When no one says things like "Let's see your high school equivalency certificate."