Lion Quotes in The Wiz (1978)

Scarecrow: Now I'll never get my brain!

Tinman: Nor my heart.

Lion: Or my courage

Dorothy: But you don't need them now because you've had them all the time. Scarecrow, you're the one who figured out how to find the yellow brick road and how to destroy Evillene, and every smart move we've made, didn't you? Lion, you wouldn't even give up when Evillene strung you up by your tail. And, Tin Man, you have more heart than anyone I've ever known.

Tinman: [hopeful] Honest?

Dorothy: Yeah, you never needed anything from the fake wizard, anyway.

Lion: [singing after Tinman revives him from the Poppy's spell] How high the moon, zo za zo zo zay.

[chuckles]

Lion: [snorts] W'us han'in', babe?

Lion: Mamma would be so proud - goin' to see da WIZ!

[preens]

Lion: My momma used to say ta me, Fleet -...

Tinman, Scarecrow, Dorothy: FLEET?

Lion: That's my name: Fleetwood Coupe de Ville!

Tinman, Scarecrow, Dorothy: [snickers]

Lion: Momma had high ideals...

Tinman: Yeah!

Lion: Y'know what I mean?

Tinman: Yeah!

[Lion and Tin Man high-five]

Tinman: Ha hah!

Lion: [Strung up by his tail in Evilene's lair] Don't give her the slippers, Dorothy!

Evillene: Is this enough for you? No? Well, how about your metal friend over there?

Tinman: [a giant piledriver begins to flatten him] Don't worry, Dorothy! I'm just an empty shell! This doesn't hurt me!

Lion: Lion is playing with his tail and then says They kicked me out on IOBK

Tinman: What is IOBK?

Lion: Incapable of being King

Lion: Friendly lot. Don't mind them visiting. Wouldn't want them living here.

Lion: Move it around, move it around!

[Secretary Bird notices the King's star is missing and reacts]

Lion: Stop jibbering!

[hits Secretary Bird on the head]

Lion: What's the matter with you?

Secretary Bird: [blubbering] Your royal star! They've stolen your royal star!

Lion: [laughs] Don't be ridiculous! What do you think this is?

[the King dangles a whistle in front of Secretary Bird, who blows on it]

Lion: Whyyyyyyyyyyy didn't youuuuuuuuu sayyyyyyyyyyyyy sooooooooooooooo?

[the King roars so loudly, he blows Secretary Bird's clothes off]

Lion: Loyal fans! This is official: we have a volunteer referee!

Margaret: Look, isn't that those Nestrians?

Flamingo: Oh, yeah. Finally they found where they belong.

Lion: Yeah, probably we should've told them at the check-in, don't you think?

Lion: Hey Max, you heard the story of the scarecrow?

Max Millan: No.

Lion: You think crows are scared of a scarecrow?

Max Millan: Yeah, I think they're scared. Yeah why?

Lion: No, crows are not scared, believe me.

Max Millan: The god damn crows are scared.

Lion: No, crows are laughin'.

Max Millan: Nah, that's bullshit...

Lion: That's right, the crows are laughin'. Look, the farmer puts out a scarecrow, right, with a funny hat on it, got a funny face. The crows fly by, they see that, it strikes 'em funny, makes 'em laugh.

Max Millan: The god damn crows are laughin'?

Lion: That's right, they're laughin' their asses off. And then they say, "Well, that ol' farmer Jo down there, he's a pretty good guy. He made us laugh, so he won't bother him any more."

Max Millan: The god damn crows are laughin'...

Lion: Ohh, they laughin', woooo!

Max Millan: I gotta tell ya somethin', that's the most hare-brained idea I've ever heard.

Lion: It's true, they're laughin' their asses off.

Max Millan: The crows are laughin'... I guess the fish are reciting poetry...

Lion: I guess so.

Max Millan: Uh huh... and the uh, pigs are playin' banjo? And the dogs would be, let's see, uh... playin' hockey. And the uh... the uh...

Lion: Crows are laughin'.

Max Millan: Crows are laughin', right. Ya know, in the joint I've heard some tales, oh boy, golly I've heard some tall tales. But at least those guys had the decency to admit that it was bullshit, you know what I mean? They actually took pride, pride in that it was bullshit. But the crows are laughin' huh? I mean you're not playin' with a full deck man, you got one foot in the grave beyond.

Lion: It'll be ladies' night every Monday night of the week! And we'll have... uh...

Bar Patron: Lollipops!

Lion: LOLLIPOPS!

Max Millan: [while introducing Lion to Coley] Ah, Coley this is my associate,Lion.

Coley: It's nice to meet you Lion.

Lion: It's nice to meet you Coley, Max has told me nothing about you.

Max Millan: [after car passes] Up yours, you two-bit sonofabitch you!

Lion: [after another car passes] Eat canteloupe, you bellyaching rhinoceros!

Lion: Scarecrows are beautiful.

Lion: Hey Max, what do you do when it's cold?

Max Millan: I put on more clothes. I'm a cold-blooded bastard, I never get warm enough. I take a little nap after every fight.

Lion: What's with the shoe?

Max Millan: What's with mindin' your own business?

Lion: Boy, some partner I picked.

Max Millan: You didn't pick me, I picked you.

Lion: Why?

Max Millan: 'Cause you gave me your last match. You made me laugh. God damn crows are laughin'...

Lion: [First lines] Hi,how you doin'

Max Millan: I gotta' tell you something about me. I'm, like, the meanest son of a bitch alive, you know what I mean?

Lion: Yeah?

Max Millan: I don't trust anybody... I don't love anybody... And I can tear the ass out of a goddamned elephant, too!

Lion: The crows are laughin'!

Max Millan: [Lion was beaten almost to death by Riley] Oh my god,what happened?

Lion: Riley tried to fuck me, so I had to beat the shit out of him.

Max Millan: Guess what, I'm a "scarecrow"

Lion: Yeah Max,you're a "scarecrow". You're also an "asshole"

Max Millan: Hey!

Lion: You're also a "scarecrow".

Lion: A crow isn't afraid of a scarecrow. It laughs.

Lion: It's going to be ladies night every Monday night of the week!

Max Millan: Oh, I tell you, that Frenchy is 160 weight of mean woman! I tell ya', she did things I didn't think you could do less'n you were a snake!

Lion: Gotta' admire talent...

Max Millan: Ahhh!

Lion: Feel better?

Max Millan: Yeah. I'm telling you... gettin' laid is sure good for my regularity.

Lion: Hey Max, I've been meaning to ask you...

Max Millan: Yeah?

Lion: In the joint...

Max Millan: Yeah?

Lion: No women, right?

Max Millan: No.

Lion: So how'd you get laid?

Max Millan: [gives Lion a long, piercing look before he says anything] I'm gonna' have that car wash. Yeah! And a deep freezer full of steaks. And *ass,* buddy! I mean ASS!

Lion: Max, you should be more careful where you drop your drawers. Some scorpion will put a lip-lock on your big ass.

Max Millan: Uh-huh. Well, it'll be his funeral.