Linus Quotes in The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005)

Max: He ruined my Dream Journal!

Linus: I did not! Mr. Electric, send him to the principal's office and HAVE HIM EXPELLED!

Mr. Electricidad: OK, kids, who's next? Remember, there are no dumb ideas.

Linus: Maybe we can freeze his circuits!

Mr. Electricidad: That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard. We're in the middle of Texas in August!

Charlie Brown: You've got to help me, Linus! I'm not sure I can handle being partners with the Little Red-Haired Girl! How will I support her? I can't afford a mortgage! What if I'm put into escrow?

Linus: Charlie Brown, you're the only person I know who can turn a book report into a lifelong commitment.

Linus: Charlie Brown, the insight you bring to such a complex novel is beyond reproach!

[last lines before the credits]

Linus: It must feel pretty great being Charlie Brown right about now!

Pig-Pen: You did it!

Peppermint Patty: Nice job, Chuck!

Marcie: Good job, Charles.

Sally Brown: Hey, big brother!

[blows up a balloon with Charlie Brown's face on it]

Sally Brown: I'm proud to be your little sister.

Lucy van Pelt: [crabbily] You've really shown something new to me, you blockhead!

[nicely]

Lucy van Pelt: You're always full of surprises. Good ol' Charlie Brown.

[as everyone cheers and lifts Charlie Brown up into the air, the scene turns into a black and white drawing. The final touch to the drawing is added: Sparky adding his signature]

Linus: You know, Charlie Brown, if you like her so much, why not just walk up to her and introduce yourself?

Charlie Brown: After the complete fool I made out of myself last night? Yeah, and why don't I just fly to the moon?

Linus: It's my turn for show and tell today This is a model of the same plane flown by Manfred von Richthofen.

Charlie Brown: Who?

Linus: The Red Baron. The most famous aviator during the Great War.

Charlie Brown: It's not real is it?

[Linus and Charlie Brown are at the iconic brick wall]

Linus: Charlie Brown, where have you been? It's the first day of summer. You should be down there having fun with everyone else.

Charlie Brown: I can't stop thinking about it, Linus. After all the humiliating disasters she witnessed this year, why would she choose me? Was she feeling sorry for me? I don't want her to choose me just because she was feeling sorry for me. I have slightly more dignity than that.

Linus: Charlie Brown, it might be time to consider the wild possibility that you're a good person and that people like you. But you know, you'll never really know the answer, unless...

Charlie Brown: I just go up to talk to her! I should have listened to you all along!

Lucy van Pelt: Linus time to get up. You don't want to be late for school. GET UP!

Linus: Ah! My blanket!

Linus: [Linus gives the Doctor a big kiss] I love you.

Doctor: I know.

Linus: [Shatner has given them the access codes to Skywalker Ranch] How did you score all of this?

William Shatner: Are you kidding? I'm William Shatner; I can score anything.

Eric: How about Jeri Ryan's panties?

Linus: Official Episode 1 countdown is six months, 12 days, eight hours and some change.

Windows: I would sell my soul to see that movie right here right now.

Hutch: Dude, I would sell my left nut. And I only have the one nut. So you see how serious I am?

Linus: I was wondering what did Sulu find in Captain Kirk's lavatory.

Admiral Seasholtz: Sulu clearly found a standard issue Starfleet Z23 personal refuse device.

Linus: I believe it was the Captain's log.

Admiral Seasholtz: Okay. Hilarious, everyone. Looks like we got more Lucas hounds here to mock Roddenberry. Congratulations, gentleman, but I would like to see your Darth Vader take on one Borg drone. And we'll see who's laughing then. Am I right?

Windows: Darth Vader can put the entire Borg collective in a vice grip with his mind.

Admiral Seasholtz: Uh, Darth Vader has asthma, so name me one Star Trek character with a respiratory disease, 'cause I'm drawing a blank.

Linus: Name me one Star Wars character who's gay.

Hutch: Beside's you.

Admiral Seasholtz: Well, no one's gay in Star Trek, so why would I even do that?

Linus: Captain Picard.

Admiral Seasholtz: Okay. Captain Picard is not gay. He's British.

Windows: [in a swishy voice] Come on. "Make it so!"

[after having landed in the garbage disposal room]

Windows: I have a bad feeling about this.

Hutch: Um, you guys don't think that the, um...

Linus: We are in George Lucas' trash room.

Eric: Don't be ridiculous, okay? The walls are not gonna close in on us.

[the walls begin to move in]

Windows: I met her in a Jedi chatroom. The woman is perfect. She's intelligent and acerbic, and a die-hard fan. She's even got connections inside the Lucas camp.

Linus: Who's also got a man package and a goatee.

Windows: You guys are all just jealous because she describes herself as a cross between Sarah Michelle Gellar and Janeane Garafolo.

Hutch: Tell 'em how you described yourself.

Windows: I was perfectly honest with her.

Linus: You said you look like a white Billy Dee Williams. You called yourself white chocolate.

Windows: I *am* white chocolate.

Eric: Linus. Hey, stop walking. Linus! Hold up, man! Stop. What the hell, man? I did nothing to you.

Linus: Exactly. You did nothing. Absolutely nothing. Eric Bottler graduates high school and never looks back. You bailed on our plan, Bottler!

Eric: What plan? To be the next big thing in comics? Come on, man. That was never gonna happen. I did what I had to do, dude. I grew up. I'm the only one who did. Look at you guys.

Linus: You know, you could fool anybody with this cheap suit, salesman-of-the-year pitch. But I know you better than anybody and deep down, you are one miserable son of a bitch.

Linus: Hey, Bottler, hit 'em with the pressed ham!

Eric: Klingon to this.

[Eric moons the Trekkers]

Hutch: I'm telling you, man. I took that Vulcan down hard. I rolled him into the dirt like he was my frickin tauntaun.

Eric: Tauntaun, my ass. If it wasn't for me, you guys would all be dead.

Windows: What fight were you watching? I was channeling the emperor.

Linus: The emperor? I don't remember the emperor crapping his robe and screaming "time-out."

Eric: Oh, my God. That's right.

Windows: There is such a thing as time-out.

Hutch: [imitating The Emperor] I can feel your anger growing inside. Wait. Time-out.

Linus: We have to strip to Menudo?

Thick-Necked Thug: You got a problem with Menudo? Now, take it off!

The Chief: The Chief fixed it while you boys were asleep.

Eric: The Chief fixed it. Is he around? Can we thank him?

Linus: He's the Chief. You're the Chief, aren't you? Why didn't you say so?

The Chief: The Chief likes to refer to himself in the third person. It causes confusion, especially with the bitches.

[first lines]

Hutch: [as Stormtrooper] Halloween just got awesome, bitches!

Linus: [as Stormtrooper] Prepare for the entrance of Lord Vader.

Windows: [as Darth Vader] Give yourself to the Dark Side. It's the only way you can save your...

Linus: Who's up for Texas, boys?

Linus: [yelling at Eric as he drives off] They were siblings. They were siblings, you sick bastard!

Charlie Brown: I'm depressed, Linus. I need an encouraging word to cheer me up.

Linus: Happiness lies in our destiny like a cloudless sky before the storms of tomorrow destroy the dreams of yesterday and last week.

Charlie Brown: I think that blanket is doing something to you.

[first lines]

[Charlie Brown picks up a rock from the beach, and throws it into the water]

Linus: Nice going, Charlie Brown. It took that rock 4,000 years to get to shore, and now you've thrown it back.

Charlie Brown: Everything I do makes me feel guilty.

Charlie Brown: If I don't find out what happened to Snoop, I think I'll go out of my mind!

Linus: If you'll calm down for a minute, Charlie Brown, I may able to conduct a little private investigation.

Charlie Brown: Just what I need, a blanket-carrying Sherlock Holmes!

[last lines]

Linus: [outraged by a note handed out by Snoopy] Look at this, Charlie Brown!

Charlie Brown: [reading it] "To Linus Van Pelt: I expect my croquet set and chess set returned forthwith, in good order, and within five days, or the matter will be turned over to my attorney."

Schroeder: [outraged over his own note from Snoopy] And mine says... he wants the record collection back!

Charlie Brown: [reading his own letter] And mine says... that since he gave me nothing, I owe him nothing!

[glares at Snoopy]

Lucy: That does it, Charlie Brown! He's your dog, and you're welcome to him!

[everyone walks out on Charlie Brown, Snoopy, and Woodstock; Charlie, annoyed at Snoopy, follows suit]

Linus: [Linus found out the reason why Snoopy ran away] Are you ready for a shock?

[Charlie Brown faints]

Linus: He wasn't ready for a shock.

[Charlie Brown gets back up]

Linus: How can I tell you something that will shock you if you pass out before I can tell you?

Charlie Brown: I'm sorry; I've been hyperventilating a lot lately...

Linus: [Linus tells Charlie Brown what he found out about Snoopy's past] You're not Snoopy's orginal owner.

[Charlie Brown faints again]

Linus: [rolling his eyes] Oh, good grief!

[Charlie Brown gets back up]

Linus: You bought Snoopy in the month of October, right? According to the records at the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm, Snoopy was bought by another family in August. This family had a little girl named Lila. Snoopy and Lila loved each other very much, but then they moved, and the family decided they just couldn't keep Snoopy so they returned him.

[pause]

Linus: You got a used dog, Charlie Brown.

[Charlie Brown looks shocked... and faints again]

Linus: [Violette runs and accidentally knocks the candle, setting the chateau on fire] Aaugh!

[Linus grabs Violette and runs to the window]

Linus: Help! Help, help! Help! Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown! Help, please! Help, help, help! Charlie Brown! Help! Help! Help, help!

[Charlie Brown wakes up]

Linus: Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown! Help! Help! Fire! Charlie Brown! Help, help! Fire!

Charlie Brown: Help! Help!

Linus: Help! Help!

The Baron: Au secours! Au secours!

Charlie Brown: [Charlie runs] Fire! Help! Fire!

The Baron: Au secours! Au secours!

Charlie Brown: Fire, help! Fire! Help! Help! Fire!

[runs to the cafe for Snoopy and Woodstock]

Charlie Brown: Help! Fire at the chateau! Fire, fire! Help! Fire!

[Snoopy and Woodstock opens the door]

Charlie Brown: The chateau! Fire, help! Help! Help!

[heads to Pierre's house as Snoopy and Woodstock runs to the shed to get the hose]

Charlie Brown: Help, help! Help! Fire at the chateau! Fire, fire! Help!

[runs up to Pierre's house]

Charlie Brown: Fire, fire! Help! Fire! The chateau! Fire, fire! Help! The chateau! Fire, fire, fire!

[Pierre, Marcie and Peppermint Patty come out]

Charlie Brown: Somebody, help! The chateau is on fire! Somebody save the chateau! Fire, fire!

[runs off]

Pierre: [to Patty and Marcie] I must call the pompier!

[Marcie and Peppermint Patty runs off]

Charlie Brown, Peppermint Patty, Marcie: Jump, Linus, jump!

Pierre: [runs up] The pompier are on the way, is Linus safe?

Charlie Brown, Peppermint Patty, Marcie: Jump, jump! Jump Linus, jump!

Linus: [to Violette] Jump? Are they crazy?

British ticket agent: Passport, please.

Charlie Brown: Y-Yes, sir. We're just passing through. We're on our way to France, sir. I have nothing to declare, sir. I throw myself at the mercy of the court!

Linus: We've only been two minutes and already he's embarrassing us.

Pierre: Nobody go to the Chateau of the Bad Neighbor, the Baron is recluse and hates everybody! He do not allow visitors.

Charlie Brown: Then why did they invite us? See? I got a letter from V. Honfleur, she invited us!

Pierre: Violette? She's a ward of the Baron's, if she invited you, the Baron does not know about it. The Baron do not invite anyone. The Baron is a very violent person. He hates everybody.

Linus: That doesn't make sense. Why did she invite you, Charlie Brown?

[first lines]

Linus: [in a classroom] Quiet, everybody! We have two new students here that I'd like to have you meet. They are exchange students from Europe. It is my great honor to introduce to you Babette and Jacques.

Rusty: You scared?

Linus: You suicidal?

Rusty: Only in the morning.

Danny: There's a ninety-five pound Chinese man with a hundred sixty million dollars behind this door.

Linus: Let's get him out.

Danny: [insistent] yeah

Linus: [Yen's cast is caught in vault door, Unaware that Yen is trapped, Danny and Linus try to blow the door but the bomb doesnt go off] Did you check the batteries?

[pause]

Linus: You know, you lose focus in this game for one second...

Danny: I know, somebody gets hurt. You don't hear Yen complaining.

[they replace the batteries and the door explodes]

Linus: [excited assuming the heist is going to be easy] Smash and grab job, huh?

Rusty: Slightly more complicated than that.

Linus: Well, yeah.

Danny: [holds up a black wallet in an empty bar] Hello Linus. Whose is this?

Linus: Who are you?

Danny: A friend of Bobby Caldwell's.

[produces a plane ticket]

Danny: You're either in or you're out. Right now.

Linus: What is it?

Danny: It's a plane ticket. A job offer.

Linus: You're pretty trusting pretty fast.

Danny: Well Bobby has a lot of faith in you.

Linus: Fathers are like that.

Reuben: [walking up to Linus] You're Bobby Caldwell's kid. From Chicago. It's nice there, do you like it?

Linus: [waiting by the pool as everyone enters Reuben's home] Yeah.

Reuben: That's wonderful. Get in the goddamn house.

Linus: [the rest of the crew get out of the van to enter the building to steal the pinch] , with Turk and Virgil in the front;

[Danny stops Linus]

Danny: What are you doing?

Linus: I'm coming with you.

Danny: No.

Linus: What? Oh, no, no...

[as they shut the doors on him]

Linus: [shouts] Don't leave me with these guys!

Linus: The last guy they caught cheating in here? Benedict not only sent him up for 10 years, he had the bank seize his house and then he bankrupted...

Rusty, Linus: -his brother-in-law's tractor dealership.

Rusty: Yeah, I heard.

Linus: [to Terry, trying to follow Rusty's advice of being funny and not enough to make him laugh] Apparently, he's got a record longer than my... well, it's long.

[as Tess walks down the stairs]

Linus: [to Rusty] This is the best part of my day.