Ling Quotes in You Only Live Twice (1967)

[James is in bed with a Ling, a Chinese woman]

James Bond: Why do Chinese girls taste different from all other girls?

Ling: You think we better, huh?

James Bond: No, just different. Like Peking Duck is different from Russian Caviar. But I love them both.

Ling: Darling, I give you very best duck.

Ling: But Chosen One, I'd like to help you, but I, I, I, I, I , I, I just can't. I won't! WEE-OOH, WEE-OOH!

Chosen One: He wasn't at the restaurant, do you know where he is?

Ling: No, I won't tell. Stay, stay and live, live a life with me. WEE-OOH!

Chosen One: Look Ling, those curly Qs in your hair make me so hot I can't think straight!

Ling: You'll never make it. Never make it. Never make it. Never make it, never. Don't you see you can't make it?

[Chosen One grabs her shoulders and is clearly yelling]

Chosen One: [calmly] I implore you to reconsider.

Ling: Hmmmmm, OK.

Ling: He was my father my entire life, we were friends, I loved him, and now he's dead-except for his hair and nails-dead, Waaaach!...

Ling: I'm a teeny tiny horny honey!

[the intermission begins]

Master Betty: Go get some snacks, perhaps a carbonated soda!

Ling: I hope they have Icees!

Chosen One: I have chosen the large tub.

Wimp Lo: My nipples look like Milk Duds!

Master Tang: I've got some yellow liquid for your popcorn, and it's non-dairy!

Wimp Lo: He's an outsider. Have you ever seen him before?

Ling: Hmn-hmn. Well, twice.

Ling: Please, stop. Wimp Lo sucks as a fighter, a child could beat him.

Chosen One: Well, I'm gonna count to three, and if I hear one more friggin' squeak, I'm gonna take his shoes, and shove em' up his...

Ling: You think losing is winning.

Ling: There can be no love between us, only hatred

Shang: Ping, you are the craziest man I've ever met, and for that I owe you my life. From now on, you have my trust.

Ling: Let's hear it for Ping, the bravest of us all!

Yao: You're king of the mountain!

Yao: My girl will think I have no faults...

Chien-Po: That I'm a major find.

Mulan: Uh... How about a girl who's got a brain, who always speaks her mind?

Yao, Chien-Po, Ling: Nah!

Chien-Po: [singing] I'm never gonna catch my breath!

Yao: Say goodbye to those who knew me!

Ling: Boy was I a fool in school for cutting gym!

Mushu: [speak-singing] This guy's got her scared to death!

Mulan: [singing] Hope he doesn't see right through me!

Chien-Po: Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!

Yao: [at the waterhole] Hey, Ping.

Mulan: Oh, hi, guys. I didn't know you were here. I was just washing, so now I'm clean, and I'm gonna go. Bye-bye!

Ling: Come back here! I knew we were jerks to you before, so, let's start over. Hi, I'm Ling.

Chien-Po: And I'm Chien-Po.

Mulan: Hello, Chien-Po.

Yao: [standing naked on a rock] And I am Yao, king of the rock!

[mildly sneering]

Yao: And there's nuttin' you girls can do about it.

Ling: Oh, yeah? Well, I think Ping and I can take you.

Mulan: I really don't want to take him anywhere.

Ling: Ping, we have to fight.

Mulan: No, we don't. We could just... close our eyes... and - swim around...

Ling: [pulling on Mulan's arm] Come on, don't be such a gir... Ouch! Something bit me!

Mushu: Ugh! Ach! What a nasty flavor.

Ling: Snake!

[Ling and Chien-Po scramble onto the rock with Yao, while Mulan sneaks away]

Ling: Some king of the rock.

[Yao pushes him off]

Man with Tattoo: [Mulan is watching Yao and Ling talk to a new recruit who is showing off his tattoo] This tattoo will protect me from harm.

Yao: Hmmm...

[punches the recruit who falls]

Ling: [laughs] I hope you can get your money back!

Mulan: I don't think I can do this.

Ling: [Ling finishes telling Ryan the folklore about the black marks on pandas and four sister mountains who look over them]

Ryan Tyler: It's a bunch of bull.

Ling: It's not a story about bull, it's a story about panda.

Ryan Tyler: No, what I mean is, it's not true.

Ling: My grandfather doesn't lie!

Ryan Tyler: Well, if the 4 sisters are real, how come the panda bears are going extinct?

Ling: You are a Mormon!

Ryan Tyler: Mormon? I think you mean morON.

Larry: Hey. Who's this lady?

Ling: That's Teddo's wife, Lydia.

Larry: Teddy's wife?

Ling: Yep. Oh, she's one lucky girl.

Larry: Then who's the guy on the end?

Ling: Oh, that's Teddo's best friend, Mac.

Curly: Well, then who's Mr. Fancy-Pants in the top hot and scarf?

Ling: That's a snowman.

Larry: Yeah, but what's his name?

Ling: [Larry and Curly enter the office building where Teddy works; one sign reads "Ditcher, Quick & Hyde: Divorce Lawyers", another sign reads "Proba, Keester & Wintz: Proctologists"] Kickham, Harter, and Indagroyne, may I help you?

Ling: [on the phone] Yes, I'll connect you now.

Ling: [Ling hangs the phone up] Oh, I'm sorry, sir, but the clown college is on the ninth floor.

Larry: Oh, no, I'm here to see Teddy Harter. Tell him it's his old pal, Larry, from the orphanage.

Ling: Oh, Teddo's not here. He's out making arrangements for his anniversary party.

Larry: All right, then, can I speak to his old man?

Ling: Mr. Harter is at lunch, but he should be back soon.

Larry: Nice glasses.

Ling: Thank you.

Larry: You got a little spot there, let me help you out.

[Larry takes Ling's glasses, licking them the with his tongue, followed by a spit-shine, wiping them clean]

Larry: [Larry hands Ling's glasses back to her] There you are, good as new. By the way, do not lick those, I'm just getting over pink-eye.