Linda Quotes in Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

Linda: Mr. Jacobs, it's Linda from Will's team. Something horrible has happened. Franklin is dead - from a viral infection.

Steven Jacobs: What the hell are you talking about?

Linda: He was exposed to the 113. It does something to people that it doesn't do to apes.

Matt: How did we let him talk us into this?

Linda: Can we talk about it later? I'm trying to make love to you.

Linda: Sebastian, do you have any idea what time it is?

Sebastian: Da Vinci never slept. Said it was a waste of time.

Linda: Did you see that?

Matt: Sebastian, can you hear me?

Sebastian: ...The lights! Turn off the... lights!

[Linda and Matt turn the lights]

Sebastian: I can't close my eyes.

Linda: You can, but your eyelids are transparent.

Sebastian: It's weird. I feel the same, but I'm not here.

[Linda pushes on Sebastian's chest]

Linda: You're here.

Linda: Let me tell you a little secret. The concept of Sebastian is much more appealing then Sebastian himself.

Linda: *You cracked the code*! 11 months, and you suddenly come up with it out of the blue. How?

Sebastian: The usual: coffee and Twinkies.

Linda: What bothers you most? That you don't have a life... or that I do?

Dr. Kramer: I'm going to call out the scientific council.

Matt: Is there anything we can do in the meantime?

Dr. Kramer: How about clearing out your offices?

Linda: For what is worth, we're both very sorry.

Dr. Kramer: It's a little a late for apologies.

Mrs. Kramer: What's the problem?

Dr. Kramer: Just a screw-up at work!

Mrs. Kramer: How bad?

Dr. Kramer: Bad enough to wake up a few Generals.

Sebastian: So this guy you're seeing, what's he like?

Linda: He's everything you're not.

Sebastian: Oh. He must be dull.

Sebastian: Hey would you like to know what it's like making love to an invisible man?

Linda: It would just be like old times.

Sebastian: What do you mean?

Linda: You were never there.

Linda: [into phone] It's all so boring here, Margo - there's nothing but playboys and tennis pros.

[sighs]

Linda: If only I could find a real man.

[James Bond, having just dispatched an assassin in a burning truck in mid-air, lands on the boat with a smoldering parachute]

James Bond: I need to use your phone.

[takes it and says into it]

James Bond: She'll call you back.

Linda: Who are you?

James Bond: Bond, James Bond.

[into phone]

James Bond: Exercise Control, 007 here. I'll report in an hour.

Linda: [offering drink] Won't you join me?

James Bond: [into phone] Better make that's two.

Felix Leiter: Just what the hell are you trying to do, 007? Start World War III?

James Bond: Felix Leiter. Now what's the CIA doing here?

Felix Leiter: Nice work girls.

Linda: No hard feelings?

James Bond: Just as long as the party's still on.

Tommy: Been running some timing trials?

Varla: We KNOW how fast WE can go. You can time that heap with an hour-glass.

Linda: Someone mention my figure?

Linda: Maybe you'd like to eliminate me?

Laura: I'd love too.

Linda: What are you waiting for?

Laura: The right time. The right place.

Mike Harber: You've got great legs baby.

Linda: Thank you.

Mike Harber: But there too long.

Linda: Oh.

Mike Harber: Yeah. I don't like long legs. They get in the way.

Linda: Well we will see about keeping them out of the way.

Mike Harber: You know, that's what I like about you baby, you're unpredictable.

Linda: [Pointing a gun at him] I am predictable about one thing... I never miss.

[Matt is shown a new weapon which gives a whole new meaning to the term "bullet bra"]

Linda: It's not a gun, Mr. Helm. It's the new weapon they gave me, developed right here in our labs.

Matt Helm: Developed pretty well, too!

Linda: May I point out...

Matt Helm: You already do!

Linda: ...that that's why you're here. To become familiar with our latest equipment.

Matt Helm: You right. An agent should always keep *abreast* of the times!

Linda: So let me ruin you fast.

Matt Gordon: How many have you ruined?

Linda: You're my last victim, darling.

Blu: [as Tulio is making strange bird like noises in front of him] Linda! Little help here! Linda?

Linda: Wow! You're actually communicating!

Tulio: Yes! Yes! I introduced myself and shook my tail feathers counter clockwise, thus referring to his dominance.

Blu: [to himself] I did not get that at all.

Tulio: I'm not really built for this weather.

Linda: Oh, are you looking for some books?

Tulio: Books? No! No! I have come six thousand miles, looking for him.

[pointing to Blu]

Linda: Um. Look, I know you're doing your job, but I can't... well, Blu is very particular. And we have our little routine here. And we're not big on travel. Heck, he doesn't even fly!

Tulio: But of course he can fly.

[takes Blu and inspects him]

Tulio: He's a perfect specimen.

Linda: Uh... what you are doing?

Tulio: Don't worry, their natural instincts always tell them to fly.

[he lets Blu go so that he will fly]

Linda: Wait! Wait! Wait! No! No!

[Blu crashes on to the ground]

Tulio: Well, almost always.

Linda: Blu!

Linda: [to Blu after picking him up from his fall] Are you okay?

Tulio: Perhaps he's too domesticated.

Linda: It was very nice of you to stop in and squawk around and throw my bird. But now it's time for you to go.

Tulio: Well... I... I'm very sorry. I'm... I'm very sorry. But... wait... wait! Linda! Linda!

[Linda walks him out of her shop]

Tulio: This could be our last chance.

Linda: Have a safe flight.

[she shuts her shop door in his face and walks away]

Tulio: Linda, please listen to me! If we don't do this, his whole species will be gone!

[he throws his business card through her shop door post flap]

Tulio: Just think about it.

Police Officer: [Linda and Tulio watch as Sylvio gets questioned by a police officer] So let me get this straight? You were attacked by a little white bird?

Sylvio: Yes! With this rag!

[he holds up a small white rag]

Sylvio: He held it to my mouth, like... like this!

[he holds the rag against his mouth, takes a breath and faints to the ground; the police officer catches the rag, takes a sniff of it and also faints]

Linda: We're doomed.

Tulio: You know your macaw is a very special bird. In fact, as far as we know, Blu is the last male of his kind.

Linda: Really?

Tulio: Yes. And recently we've found a female and our hope is to bring the two of the them together to save their species.

Linda: Oh! Well, yeah! Sure! When can she come over?

Tulio: Oh, no, no! She's in Brazil. Blu must come to Rio de Janeiro.

Linda: [laughing] Rio. Brazil. Oh, no! No. No. No. No. No. No! I never let Blu out of my sight. He needs me.

Tulio: Oh, no! You... you misunderstand. It's all arranged. You will be with him every step of the way. And I will be with you.

Linda: [to Blu] I promised I would always look out for you, didn't I? And have I ever broken a promise. I'm scared too. But I wouldn't make you do this if it wasn't the right thing to do. What do you say, Blu?

[she holds out her hand in a punch, Blu touches his beak and punches his claw to her hand in agreement]

Linda: That's my big, brave boy. And we'll be back home before we even know it.

Linda: [in the bird sanctuary] So, where's Jewel?

Tulio: Oh, we have a special place for Jewel. She's a very spirited bird.

Aviary Intern: Aahh! I'll say.

[he turns and his face is covered in scratches and bruises]

Blu: She did that? Ah, charming! Okay, I wanna go home now!

Tulio: [as he hears Blu squawk with fear] No, no! Don't worry. I'm gonna make you look irresistible.

Linda: [Linda watches on the monitor as Blu and Jewel struggle, thinking they're mating] Wow! That was fast.

Tulio: Lionel Richie. Works every time. We should probably give them some privacy.

Tulio: Nice of you to join me for dinner. I often eat alone. Oh, uh... because, of course I work.

Linda: [laughing] I thought I was the bird nerd until I met you.

Tulio: Yes. Right. Do you have a favorite bird?

Linda: Well, obviously I'm a blue macaw kinda gal.

Tulio: [laughing] That makes sense. They are very handsome birds.

Linda: Actually, it's the brains I'm more attracted to. I'm not so impressed by fancy feathers.

Tulio: I know exactly what you mean. My favorite bird is a spotted owl. I've always been mesmerized by those big, round, intelligent eyes.

[he looks at Linda's eyes which are big, round, and intelligent-looking]

Linda: [crying after finding out Blu has been taken] This is all my fault!

Tulio: No, Linda! Linda! Please! This is not your fault.

Linda: You're right. It's not my fault. It's your fault!

Tulio: What?

Linda: With your little bird talk! And that whole 'last of his species'! Well, you know what? Squawk, squawkety, squawk, squawk! Haah!

[realizing what she's done]

Linda: I'm sorry! I didn't mean to curse!

Tulio: I... I don't understand. Sylvio is the best guard in the business!

Linda: [last lines; Linda watches as Blu flies away behind Jewel towards the jungle] That's my big brave boy.

Blu: [to Eduardo motioning to Linda saving them with a digger] THAT'S A LINDA!

Linda: [to Blu] You've still got it Blu!

[Does a fist bump with him]

Bob: [over phone] He's at some kind of carnival.

Maria: At a carnival?

Olivia: That fun fair!

Linda: [signs something]

Olivia: We passed that hours ago!

Maria: That's what she just said!

Linda: [repeated line to Christopher Sr] Whatever, I don't care.

Linda: You know I spent exactly seventeen days in the pornography industry and somehow these seventeen days are suppose to define who I am for the rest of my life, but I hope that people can see me for who I really am. I mean Linda Lovelace was a fictitious character. My name is Linda Marchiano. I can finally be myself. I'm a mother and a wife and that is where I found my joy.

Linda: I had the misfortune of meeting Chuck Traynor, but it didn't start out like you're describing. He was a gentleman when I first met him. He was always opening doors for me and lighting my cigarettes and he was very charming when he wanted to be... and I was young, you know, I was twenty-one when I went to live with him... and it wasn't until after that, that things just started to change. He started talking about different sexual things, things that I had never heard of before, things that I - I couldn't imagine, you know? I didn't want to. I was raised... I was raised to obey my husband, to please him for better or for worse... so that's what I did.

Chuck: Fifty, maybe a hundred thousand.

Linda: To do another fuck film?

Chuck: No, Linda, it's Shakespeare. I told them you do a great English accent, particularly with a cock down your throat.

Linda: It's never a mistake to care for someone. That's *always* a good thing!

Henry: I don't think that's an option, Lisa.

Linda: Linda.

Henry: I know. I changed your name for your protection.

Man: [on phone] Henry Roth...

Linda: Henry Roth, why didn't you tell me you were a secret agent?

Robbie: [Linda shows up for the first time after failing to marry him] You're late.

Linda: [sighs] I'm sorry... I just couldn't do it.

Robbie: Well, if you need more time, I guess I could wait.

Linda: No... I don't need more time, Robbie. I don't ever want to marry you.

Robbie: [takes a deep breath, sighs] Gee, you know that information... really would've been more useful to me *yesterday.*

Linda: I've been talking with my friends the last few days...

Robbie: Oh, boy, here it comes.

Linda: ...and I think I've figured out what's been bothering me. I'm not in love with Robbie, now. I'm in love with Robbie, six years ago. Robbie, the lead singer of Final Warning; I used to come watch you when you were in your silk shirt and Spandex pants, and you would sing into the microphone like you were David Lee Roth.

Robbie: I've still got the Spandex; I'll put 'em on right now.

Linda: The point is, I woke up this morning and realized I'm about to get married to a wedding singer? I am never gonna leave Richfield!

Robbie: Why do you need to leave Richfield? We grew up here. All our friends are here; it's the perfect place to raise a family.

Linda: Oh, yeah - sure! Living in your sister's basement with five kids while you're off every weekends doing wedding gigs at a whoppin' sixty bucks a pop?

Robbie: Once again, things that could've been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!

Robbie: Hey, psycho, I'm not gonna feel better about this, it's over. Now please get out of my Van Halen T-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up.

Linda: Oh, okay, so you're still pissed about that wedding thing?

[screen switches to Linda on the front porch with the door slamming behind her]

Julia: You must be Linda.

Linda: Yeah, that's me, Robbie's fiance. Who are you?

Julia: I'm Julia Sullivan. Would you tell him that I came by to see him?

Linda: Oh yeah, surely will, Jennifer.

Julia: Hey, it's Julia -

[Door slams]

Howard: We should have gone to stay with my brother!

Linda: Your brother lives in a barn!

Howard: Jesus was born in a barn!

Linda: You let them go to the bathroom alone!

Aunt Dorothy: There was another option?

Linda: It's Christmas. Nothing bad is going to happen on Christmas!

Howard: How come rich people get all the free shit?

Linda: I don't know, honey!

[Linda tries to leave the house as Buddy begs for her to not go]

Linda: [Linda nervously gets up to leave] Bye.

Buddy: [Buddy starts to crawl on his knees] Linda, wait. For God's sake, I vacuumed, Linda!

Linda: Buddy, you're a nice guy.

Buddy: No, not a nice guy. That's the kiss of death!

[Buddy finally propositions Linda with sex]

Linda: Why are you smiling like that?

Buddy: [Buddy jumps to his feet] 'Cause it's party time! Let's dance. Let's get crazy. Let's get drunk. Let's get naked.

Linda: Buddy, I love a good party, but something about you worries me.

Buddy: Linda, you're a nut. What do you like, skinny dip in the pool? Back rub in the bedroom? Pick a sin. Any sin!

[Buddy asks Linda one final question before she walks out the front door]

Buddy: Linda, wait. Would it make any difference if I was hung like a bear?

Linda: It might. Are you?

Buddy: No. Just checking.

Linda: How 'bout a kiss?

Dr. Buddy Rydell: I'd love a kiss.

Dave Buznik: I think she's talkin' to me. And, uh, I think I can handle it.

Ash: Hey, what do you say we have some champagne, huh, baby?

Linda: Sure.

Ash: After all, I'm a man and you're a woman... at least last time I checked. Huh huh.

Linda: Even now we have your darling Linda's soul, as she suffers in torment!

Ash: You're going DOWN!

Linda: [the demon has possessed Linda] Yes! Your love was a lie! And now she burns in hell!

Linda: So what do you do when it rains?

Seth: I drink the nourishment that Gaia is feeding me through her cloud teats.

Marcy: It just doesn't fit the HBO brand. We do violence and heartache but it's sexy. Do you understand?

Linda: Of course, what was I thinking? I mean you know what we could do? We could throw in some vampires in there to have sex with the penguins, and then you could have brooding sexy little vampire penguins. Would that work for your brand? What if the polar bears were hookers and on meth and then just show their tits for no reason? How would that work?

Marcy: I think you're joking but if you could do that that would be very interesting for us.

Linda: Oh it's you.

Seth: Yes, I'm doing primal gesticulating.

Linda: I thought someone was getting ax murdered.

Seth: The only thing getting murdered are my anxieties, tensions and fears. Speaking figuratively of course. I'm against violence of any kind.

Linda: [watching Page manhandle a cigarette machine] Oh, yeah... she's a delicate flower.

Arthur: What are you doing later tonight?

Linda: Oh, I have plans for tonight. What should I wear?

Hobson: Steal something casual.

Arthur: I've never taken care of anybody. Everybody's always taken care of me. But if you got sick, or anything, I'd take care of you.

Linda: Then I'll get sick.

Ralph: I take it this bum will be calling you?

Linda: Dad! He's a millionaire.

Ralph: You have my permission to marry him.

Arthur: Have you ever been on a yacht?

Linda: No, is it wonderful?

Arthur: It doesn't suck.

Arthur: He's taking the knife out of the cheese!

Linda: Oh, my God!

Arthur: Do you think he wants some cheese?

Linda: No, I think we're gonna die!

[about Hobson after she gives her phone number to Arthur]

Linda: Wouldn't it be funny if *he* called me?

Linda: Nice place... I love a living room you can land a plane in.

Ralph: Here's your tea.

Hobson: I despise tea. Now, would you go to the bathroom and bring me two aspirin? You'll find them on the top shelf to the left, behind the untouched shaving cream.

[Ralph looks embarrassed and leaves the room. Hobson coughs]

Linda: That sounds bad. Have you seen a doctor?

Hobson: Yes. And he has seen me.

Linda: You know, I think Arthur has a very good friend. May I kiss you on the cheek?

Hobson: Is it something you feel strongly about?

Linda: Yes.

[She kisses Hobson, who smiles, nods, and prepares to leave]

Linda: What about your aspirins?

Hobson: The aspirins are for you, my dear.

Rosa: So I am looking and I see a young woman, and it's de Sabrina. And she's talking. Who's she talking to? A man, but not her daddy because he's not as tall.

Joanna: It was Linus. Sabrina went out with Linus.

Rosa: It was Mr. Linus.

Linda: Sabrina went out with Linus? That's too weird.

Scott: I always thought that guy was gay.

Rosa: Mr. Linus is not a gay.

Joanna: It's not "a" gay, Rosa. It's just gay.

Linda: Linus is gay? That makes me like him more.

Fairchild: Linus Larabee is a heterosexual.

Connie Marble: Nothing but these fucking jerk-off hippies on the road today. Oh, where are their little pig girlfriends! God, I just get so tired, driving around - driving around.

Channing: Here's one up ahead

Connie Marble: PULL OVER!

Raymond Marble: Ooh, yeah she looks real good

Connie Marble: and she'll do just fine

Linda: thanks

[getting in car]

Linda: Hi, wow, where'd you get this beautiful car?

Raymond Marble: At a car dealer, where did you think?

Connie Marble: Where are you going?

Linda: Oh, just downtown, anywhere near Howard Street

Connie Marble: Oh, meeting someone?

Linda: Yeah

Connie Marble: WHO?

Linda: My boyfriend and a couple of other guys, why?

Raymond Marble: Going to a gang bang or something?

Linda: What! Hey, what's with you two?

Connie Marble: We just wondered where you were planning to spread your V.D. today, that's all, hussy!

Linda: I don't think THAT'S necessary...

Connie Marble: Oh you don't, huh? Well, how'd you like to fuck my chauffer? He's got a real horse dick on him!

Channing: [offended] HEY, Connie.

Linda: Hey let me out right here, this is fine...

Raymond Marble: This isn't downtown!

Connie Marble: We're nowhere NEAR downtown, what's the matter, you afraid it ain't BIG ENOUGH for ya?

Linda: [into telephone] Yes, I'd like a cab please at, ah...

[to Vinnie]

Linda: What the frig is the address here?

Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: How should I know? Number One, Happy Street!

Barney: The Padres play the Mets every so often, though you folks would probably be Yankees fans. It's been my experience that most organized crime people are.

Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: I love the Yankees, Linda loves the Yankees, so does Terry.

Linda: Who's Terry?

Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: You are.

Barney: It's gonna be a lot easier if you two start calling each other Terry and Todd.

Linda: It's a nice house, Terry, okay?

Barney: No, you're Terry, he's Todd.

Allan: If that plane leaves the ground, and you're not on it with him, you'll regret it - maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of your life.

Linda: That's beautiful!

Allan: It's from Casablanca; I waited my whole life to say it.

Linda: What reason did she give for wanting a divorce?

Allan: She wants a laugh; she doesn't laugh enough. Insufficient laughter; that's grounds for divorce. Oh, and skiing! She wants to go skiing. She wants to ski down a mountain laughing like an idiot.

Dick: You know any other girls?

Linda: I don't know if any of my friends are his type. I mean, most of the girls I know are fairly normal.

Allan: I've got a big decision to make, do I go with Oscar Peterson or Bartók String Quartet No. 5?

Linda: Why don't you play Oscar Peterson and leave Bartók out so everybody can see it.

Allan: I have met a lot of dames, but you are REALLY something special.

Linda: Really?

Allan: [to Bogart] She bought it!

Dick: [On the phone] Let me tell you where you can reach me, George. I'll be at 362-9296 for a while; then I'll be at 648-0024 for about fifteen minutes; then I'll be at 752-0420; and then I'll be home, at 621-4598. Yeah, right George, bye-bye.

Linda: There's a phone booth on the corner. You want me to run downstairs and get the number? You'll be passing it.

Linda: Would you like us to call a doctor?

Allan: No, no, I could use a 3 foot band-aid.

Allan: This is a beautiful beach house.

Linda: Thank you.

Allan: Yeah, let's burn it down for the insurance money.

Allan: Here, I got you a present because it's your birthday.

Linda: How'd you know?

Allan: Well, you mentioned the date and I remembered because it's the same day my mother had her hysterectomy.

Linda: Allan, the world is full of eligible women.

Allan: Yeah, but not like Nancy. She was a lovely thing. I used to lay in bed at night and watch her sleep. Once in a while she would wake up and catch me. She would let out a scream.

Linda: I feel some sort of a mystical attraction for Van Gogh. Why is that?

Allan: I don't know. I just know he was a great painter and he cut off an ear for a girl that he loved.

Linda: That's the kind of thing you would do for a girl.

Allan: I'd really have to like her a lot.

Allan: [Preparing room for guests] Got just the thing, my hundred yard dash medal.

Linda: Oh you're joking; you're not going to leave out a track medal.

Allan: Why not? I paid twenty dollars for it.

Linda: My God! Can't you cook anything but TV dinners?

Allan: Who bothers to cook them? I suck 'em frozen.

Linda: What were you thinking about the whole time we were making love?

Allan: Willie Mays.

Linda: Do you always think about baseball players?

Allan: It keeps me going.

Linda: Yeah, I wondered why you kept yelling "slide".

Linda: Allan, do you realize what a wonderful thing has happened? Allan the most beautiful thing in the world has happened right under our very own noses. We've had a wonderful experience. Doesn't that surprise you? You didn't have to do anything. You didn't have to leave any half open books lying around. You didn't have to have on the proper mood music. Why, I even saw you in your underwear with the days of the week written on them.

Allan: Yeah, I get that.

Linda: What is it, fear or anxiety?

Allan: Homosexual panic.

Allan: You want a Fresca with a Darvon?

Linda: Unless you have apple juice.

Allan: Apple juice and Darvon is fantastic together!

Linda: Have you ever had Librium and tomato juice?

Allan: No, I haven't personally, but another neurotic tells me they're unbelievable.

Dick: Could I get a coke with nothing in it?

Linda: Maybe if you just leaned across the candlelight and kissed her.

Allan: I tried, she used to say, "Christ, not here, everybody's staring."

Allan: You were fantastic last night in bed.

Linda: Oh, thanks.

Allan: How do you feel now?

Linda: I think the Pepto Bismol helped.

Allan: Maybe you move in with me for a while. As long as we handle this in a mature way. As long as I'm mature about it, you're mature about it, Both of us are mature, we can achieve a certain maturation, that guarantees maturiosity

Linda: You're mature, Allen, and very wise

Allan: The key to wiseness is maturiositude.

Linda: Sharon did a movie.

Allan: Oh?

Sharon: Underground.

Allan: Stag film?

Sharon: Underground! You know, very arty. Sixteen millimeter.

Allan: I like blondes. Little blondes with long hair and short skirts and boots and big chest and bright, witty and perceptive.

Dick: Well, don't set yourself ridiculous stands, Allan.

Linda: She must be beautiful with long hair and a big bust?

Allan: Yes. And a good behind - something I can sink my teeth into.

Linda: Why is it always so complicated?

Linda: I love Dick.

Linda: Oh, I don't regret a moment of what's happened; because, what its done for me is to reaffirm my feelings for Dick.

Ferdy: Look, I'm sorry if I made you angry, Linda.

Linda: It's not you, Ferdy. I'm just not used to be chased around a mall in the middle of the night by killer robots.

Linda: I'm sorry. It's not you, Ferdy. I guess I'm just not used to running around a shopping mall in the middle of the night being chased by killer robots.

Linda: Last week was my son Kevin's birthday, he turned six.

Dr. David Townsend: Happy Birthday, Kevin.

Linda: And his father was supposed to come take him to a hockey game. He likes hockey because there's fighting, and people can get hurt. His father, not Kevin. He just loves fighting.

Dr. David Townsend: Well, than can be healthy. Or... not healthy. Go on.

Linda: Well we wait, and we wait and we wait and he never shows up. He missed his own son's birthday, he didn't even call.

Dr. David Townsend: That son of a bitch! Can I say that on the radio? Because that is the only word for it; son of a bitch!

[talking about the slumber party]

Linda: I don't know if I can go. My mom's on my case about my grades.

Jeff: Mine too, but I'll be there!

Linda's Brother: Linda. Mom says if you don't come in for your tea now, she'll give it to the dog.

Linda: OK, OK.

Steven Carter: You haven't got a dog.

Linda's Brother: Well, We'll get one.

Linda: ...the woods? Steve, you did it in the woods? You could have been...

Steven Carter: ...what? Queer-bashed by squirels?

Steven Carter: School full of tossers.

Linda: Oh I bet you fancy half of them.

Steven Carter: No way.

Linda: Not even him? John Dixon. He's sex on legs.

Steven Carter: [sighs] I know... Every time I see his "Head Boy" badge I wish it was an invitation!

Linda: Sure wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating biscuits.

[while dancing with Linda at the ball, Steven gazes into John Dixon's eyes and gets excited. Linda notices]

Linda: Now don't you start!

Steven Carter: I'm sorry, I was thinking of someone else.

Linda: Charming!

Kevin: [to Steve] Oi, Carter! Not exactly an oil painting is she?

Linda: No, she's cuddly. And until a few seconds ago, you assumed that because I'm a fat girl instead of some slim oil painting, I'd be gagging for a quick one in the doorway of Toys R Us! I can just imagine sex with you! Pathetic fumbling to find the bra strap, the slobbery kisses, belching into some poor girl's mouth because you had too much chili sauce on your kabab. And then, the main event which is either over in seconds or not at all because you're too fucking pissed!

Kevin: So I take that as a definite no?

Linda: Take it up your bum!

[on John Dixon]

Linda: He's sex on legs!

Linda: Steve, I've got a bit of surprise for you. It's not quite as big a deal as you tellin' the whole world you're gay, but it's a surprise anyway.

Steven Carter: Tell me later.

Linda: I know, why don't I tell you later.

Carol: You don't "play", the quija board is a tool for communication.

Dave: Communication with who?

Carol: The dead.

Adrienne: The dead? But they're dead!

Carol: Dying isn't the end, it's a beginning.

Linda: Aren't you supposed to ask it questions?

Carol: Some poor soul or souls are supposed to inhabit each board. They're duty-bound to answer any question put to it. The dead have never left us, their world exists all around us, through this board, the dead can reach out to us...

Angela: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you.

Linda: Have you been saved?

Angela: Who me?

Linda: Did you know that the end of the world is drawing near?

Angela: As a matter of fact, I do. I was just about to have a slice of cake. Would you two like to join me?

Albert: Cake. Yes, of course. How nice.

Linda: You know, sometimes people lie. But sometimes, you should believe them.

Harry: So, I'll take you out and show you my prop van in a bit, but first, coffee. How do you like it?

Linda: Weak and white, like my men.

Linda: Can I show you the dance, anyway? I did burn a CD...

[after the ouija board's planchette inexplicably flies off of the board and into the fire, which erupts in flames; the girls scream]

Suzanne: Hey, fuck this!

Linda: This is getting too weird.

Kimberly: I mean, really, what was that?

Janey: Look, lightning must've hit the house and caused a huge electrical charge, or something.

Linda: Yeah, right, that explains everything.

Linda: I know you're out there; you really hurt me. Please, if you've got an ounce of humanity left, you've gotta remember!

Linda: [referring to Joey] Should he be driving?

Jade: No.

[snorts some cocaine]

Jade: I'll drive.

Jack: It's the drugs that hold Joey together. Right burly man?

Joey: Oh yeah!

Samantha: Oh my god. This exctasy is really strong.

Linda: You're candy flipping. We took X and acid.

Samantha: Acid too?

Linda: You know that liquid stuff that we put on our tongues? That wasn't mouthwash.

Joey: Shut the fuck up. George Bush is the greatest.

[Linda groans]

Joey: The man's got balls. Big Texas-size balls. Probably the first man in history to ever tell the whole world, "Fuck you. I could do what I want, and there ain't shit you can do about it."

Linda: George Bush is like the worst president this country's ever had. Yeah.

Joey: You're just saying that because George Bush hates black people.

Linda: [laughing] You're absolutely right!

[kisses Linda while her eyes are closed]

Van: Guess who!

Linda: Hmm... Simpson?

Van: No!

[kisses her again]

Van: Try again!

Linda: Finny.

Van: No!

[kisses her again]

Van: Try again!

Linda: I give up.

[opens her eyes as they laugh and embrace]

Linda: Oh! It's a husband!

Linda: Well, after all, Van, she is an uncommonly good-looking girl. I don't know of anyone in our crowd who's as attractive, and people aren't willing to believe that looks go with brains.

Van: Well, one of the smallest troubles we've ever had, Linda, is caring what other people think.

Linda: The world's divided into two kinds of people: those who believe that bow tie ends should be sticking out, and those who don't. Personally, I'm very tolerant, ask anybody. But anyone who believes a bow tie end should stick out should be deported from this country.

Nina Romina: Home invasion in Granada. He got there before the cops. We have 10 minutes to airtime, how much of this can we show?

Linda: You mean, legally?

Nina Romina: No, morally; of course, legally.

Jack: Now, you are about to have the very very best. But I think a little music would be appropriate. So why don't you sing me some Jingle Bells. Come on, you just sing it for me.

Linda: [crying] Nooooo...

Jack: I said sing Jingle Bells!

Linda: Jingle Bells...

Jack: That's right.

Linda: Jingle Bells...

Jack: That's right. That's good. Yeah, music is always good for balling.

Linda: Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh!

[crying]

Linda: Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...

Jack: Oh yeah!

Linda: Jingle all...

[crying]

Jack: Oh yeah. Jingle all the way!

Linda: How do you feel about forming a rape squad?

Nancy: What do we do?

Linda: We do what hundreds of women all over the country are doing. Look, there's an article about it right here!

Woman in Nude Spa: Excuse me, I overheard you talking about your group and I have a question- a couple months ago I was attacked...

Linda: Raped!

[woman in nude spa smiles vacantly and nods]

Linda: Got a lot of nerve, haven't you?

Nan Taylor: So what!

Linda: I think its swell!

Nan Taylor: It'll take plenty to get by with in here. I've gone around with almost everything, but, it was baby's milk compared with coming through that gate with all these dames staring at you.

Linda: [Referring to a fellow female prisoner] Watch out for her. She likes to wrestle.

Linda: That's the first time I ever knew I was stronger than Strangler Lewis.

[Linda points a gun at the gunshop owner after getting him to load it for her]

Gunshop owner: First rule of gun safety: You never point a gun at anyone.

Linda: Not even if you're going to rob them?

Michael: What kind of beer would you like?

Linda: What? I don't know. I don't care. Any kind.

Michael: I'll get you a Rolling Rock.

Linda: Okay.

Michael: It's a good beer, it's the best around.

Michael: You okay?

Linda: Did you ever think life would turn out like this?

Michael: No.

Linda: Mikie, you're so - weird.

[laughs]

Linda: You're always such a gentleman.

Linda: Mike - why don't we go to bed? Can't we just comfort each other?

Michael: No, I can't. Not here. I gotta get outta here. I'm sorry. I just gotta get out. I'll be - I-I don't know, I feel a lot of distance and I feel far away. I'll see you later.

Angela: [Last lines] Its been such a gray day.

John: [Humming] Mm-Mm-Mm-Mm-Mm-Mm

[singing]

John: Stand beside her and guide her. La-la-de Da-da-da...

Linda: [singing] God bless America, Land that I love.

Linda, John, Axel, Michael, Stan, Steven, Angela: Stand beside her and guide her, Through the night with a light from above. From the mountains, to the prairies, To the oceans white with foam. God Bless America, my home sweet home. God Bless America, my home sweet home.

Michael: Here's to Nick!

Steven: To Nick!

Linda, John, Axel, Michael, Stan, Steven, Angela: To Nick!

Linda: I really feel so happy with you. I feel free. I feel very, very free. You promise me you'll never leave me?

Oscar: Of course.

Linda: We die together?

Oscar: We'll never die.

Linda: We'll never die?

Oscar: Never.

Linda: We're immortal?

Oscar: Yes. We will never die.

Linda: Good.

Linda: Don't you want to find a real job?

Oscar: Fuck no. Everybody who has a job is just a slave.

Linda: [on ecstasy, dancing with Alex] Oscar, who is this man? He's doing... he's trying to... fuck me.

Linda: They're fucking assholes. First they said he had a gun, and now they won't even take a fucking autopsy.

Linda: I can't believe this is real.

[first lines]

Oscar: Hey. Hey, Linda. C'mere. Come outside. I wonder what Tokyo looks like from up there.

Linda: I don't.

Oscar: Why not?

Linda: I'd be scared.

Oscar: Scared of what?

Linda: Of dying, I guess. Falling into the void.

Oscar: They say you fly when you die.

Linda: It's fucking cold.

Linda: This thing is not my brother.

[Empties Oscar's ashes into the sink]

Doyle: [to Vaughan and Karl] Hey! I said get out of my house! That goes for cocksuckers and retards! Now get up off your asses'n go! Go on!

Linda: This is not your house, Doyle. This is my house and I decide who goes and who stays. You got a house, why don't you get some of your girlfriends and go home to it?

Doyle: You know better than to talk to me like that when I'm hurtin', Linda. Don't make me knock the piss outta you.

Vaughan Cunningham: Don't you touch her.

Doyle: That's funny, Vaughan. Linda, go to bed and take little snot-nose here with you.

Linda: You're not staying here tonight. Go get sober before you come back, I'm tired of my child seeing this. Now you get your ass straight or I'll lock your ass out of my life for good.

Doyle: If you even think about leaving me, Linda, I told you: I'm gonna kill you deader than a door nail.

Linda: That might be better than this.

Vaughan Cunningham: All right, I'm a witness. I heard you threatening her.

Doyle: Hey, you get the

[shouts]

Doyle: fuck out now!

Doyle: Hey is this the kind of retard that drools and rubs shit in his hair and all that, 'cause I'm gonna have a hard time eatin' 'round that kind of thing now. Just like I am with antique furniture and midgets. You know that, I can't so much as drink a damn glass of water around a midget or a piece of antique furniture.

Linda: Doyle, you're awful. You shouldn't be that way.

Doyle: I ain't saying it's right, I'm just telling the damn truth. He'll make me sick. I know it.

Doyle: What am I supposed to do about supper while you're out runnin' around with that fag?

Linda: You're not crippled, get in there and make it yourself.

Doyle: Talkin' back and everything. That kinda makes me horny, Linda.

Linda: Frank, maybe you better go play in your room if Doyle's gonna talk nasty.

Frank: I don't wanna go play in my room.

Doyle: He don't wanna go play in his room. Let's all just sit here and be a family. Until your mentally retarded friend and your homosexual friend get here.

Doyle: [Karl enters the bedroom, startling Doyle and Linda] Hey! What the God damn hell you doing, Karl? 'The fuck you doing up in the middle of the night?

Linda: What you want, Hon?

Karl: I wanna be baptized.

Doyle: Well get baptized then, I don't give a shit. Call up a fuckin' preacher, Goddammit, we can't baptize ya.

Linda: Frank's always after a father figure and Lord knows Doyle ain't one with his mean ass.

Vaughan Cunningham: What about me?

Linda: Frank doesn't really see you as a guy-guy.

Vaughan Cunningham: Oh, and Karl's a guy-guy?

Linda: This is not your house, Doyle. This is my house and I decide who goes and who stays. You got a house, why don't you get some of your girlfriends and go home to it?

Doyle: You know better than to talk to me like that when I'm hurtin', Linda. Don't make me knock the piss outta you.

Vaughan: Don't you touch her.

Doyle: That's funny, Vaughan. Linda, go to bed and take little snot-nose here with you.

Linda: You're not staying here tonight. Go get sober before you come back, I'm tired of my child seeing this. Now you get your ass straight or I'll lock your ass out of my life for good.

Doyle: If you even think about leaving me, Linda, I told you: I'm gonna kill you deader than a door nail.

Linda: That might be better than this.

Doyle: You know what, by God?

Linda: What?

Doyle: I know what I oughta do tonight.

Linda: Please don't.

Doyle: Mmm-hmm. I'm gonna call up Morris and have him get the band together. We're gonna have a party. Party our asses off. I'd love to show them that damn Karl. They'd get a real kick out of him. You know they would.

Linda: Please, Doyle, not tonight. They always stay until morning, I'll just give out.

Doyle: You ain't gotta do nothing, Linda. Just put some chips in a bowl and run ice out to us when we look low.

Frank: Last time you got angry and ran Morris and them off and told them to stay away from here.

Doyle: That ain't none of your damn business, besides, that's the way friends do one another! Fuck it, I'm calling them up.

Vaughan Cunningham: Listen, everyone, I've had a few glasses of wine and that tends to make me emotional. It came over me in a rush. I just want you to know that I care about each and every person at this table.

Linda: Thank you, Vaughan. We care about you too, don't we?

Melinda, Frank, Albert: Yes.

Karl: Yes, Sir.

Vaughan Cunningham: [about potted meat] They aren't moving too well, but I'll tell you what, I'll give a couple cans free to the right kid.

Frank: I don't like potted meat. Daddy used to say they was made out of lips, peckers and intestines.

Linda: Frank, don't talk that way.

[about Karl]

Linda: Who's that strange looking man? He follow you in here?

Linda: Nobody's perfect. There was never a perfect person around. You just have half-angel and half-devil in you.

Linda: This farmer, he had a big spread, and a lot of money. Whoever was sitting in a chair when he'd come around, why they'd stand up and give it to him.

Linda: Wasn't no harm in him. You'd give him a flower, he'd keep it forever.

Linda: Sometimes I'd feel very old, like my whole life is over, like I'm not around no more.

Linda: I've been thinking what to do wit' my future. I could be a mud doctor. Checkin' out the eart'. Underneat'.

Linda: You know how people are. You tell them something, they start talking.

[last lines]

Linda: I was hopin' things would work out for her. She was a good friend of mine.

Linda: There were people sufferin' in pain and hunger. Some people their tongues were hangin' out of their mouths.

Linda: Just as things were about to blow, this flying circus came in After six months on this sweet patch, I needed a breath of fresh air. They was screaming and yelling and bopping each other. He, the big one, pushed the little one and said come on, I started, you start. The little one just started in. If they couldn't think of a good one to come back with, they'd start fighting. The little one said, no, I didn't do this. The big one said, yes, you did do this. You couldn't sort it out. The devil's just sitting there laughing. He's glad when people does bad. Then he sends them to the snake house. He's just sits there and laughs and watch while you're sitting there all tied up with snakes and eating your eyes out. They go down your throat and eat all your systems out.

Linda: Me and my brother. It just used to be me and my brother. We used to do things together. We used to have fun. We used to go in the streets. There was people suffering of pain and hunger. Some people with tongues hanging out of their mouth.

Linda: The sun looks ghostly when there's a mist on a river and everything's quiet. I never knowed it before. And you could see people on the shore, but they was far off and you couldn't see what they were doing. They were probably... calling for help or something, or they were trying to bury somebody or something.

Linda: Some sights that I saw was really spooky that it gave me goosepimples. That felt like cold hands touching the back of my neck, and it could have been the dead coming for me or something. I remember this guy, his name was... Blackjack. He died. He only had one leg, and he died. And I think that was Blackjack making those noises

Linda: [about Emanuel's mother] You look a lot like her. She's got an air of mystery and intrigue about her. Like someone you've known for many years, but you never really knew them.

Emanuel: She certainly pulled that off. She left nothing behind. Not a trace.

Linda: She left *you*. That's a pretty big trace.

Linda: It's a lot more fun looking for Mr. Goodbody than Mr. Goodbar.

Linda: He knows a guy who knows a make-up artist on the Dukes of Hazzard, who's gonna redesign my face.

Linda: That's what I wanna be: the most perfect "Me" possible.

Linda: I guess I'll go see if I can scare up a gang-bang.

Linda: I've never even *been* to court before all this happened. It's like a foreign country in there, the words they use and how things happen, it's just... It's like I got on a wrong plane and got off at some fucked up country I'm not supposed to be in.

Linda: [crying] I'm sorry.

Erik: I'm sorry too. I shoulda tried harder.

Linda: Tried what?

Erik: To find the cure.

Linda: Come here sweetie. You did, you did. Everything that was sent in Dexter's life was sad, alone, you made it go away. Dexter was happy to have you as a friend.

Dexter: There's something I have to tell you. My mom likes to call me 'Sweetie'.

Erik: Ha ha ha. "Sweetie"?

Dexter: You gotta promise not to laugh.

Linda: [At dinner] You want some more carrots, sweetie?

Erik: [as Linda goes to the kitchen; while laughing] You didn't finish all your meat loaf, love muffin.

Dexter: Would you shut up?

Linda: Dexter, is Erik staying for dinner?

Dexter: Waka.

Erik: That means 'yes', white woman.

Linda: Do you have a girlfriend?

Erik: Yeah I had a girlfriend but I had to dump her, spend, spend, spend!

Linda: [Grabbing Gail by her blouse and backing her into the wall] I want to tell you two things. The first is Erik's best friend died today and he is going to the funeral.

Linda: [struggling] And the second is if you ever lay a hand on that boy again I will kill you! Do you understand?

Linda: [at Joel's first party] I feel a little out of place here.

Lenny: You are. You're the best-looking woman here.

Linda: ...People here are a little strange.

Lenny: Talented people usually ARE a little strange... They were ALL on something; MONEY'S the real drug around here, okay?

Lenny: I'm making money so fast over at Max's, they can't keep track of it. Everybody in town thinks I'm a firecracker. And even after all this, my own WIFE still thinks I'm a BUM!

Linda: I think you're a GENIUS. I just don't want you to feel like you're on a treadmill... having to make more and more money to pay for things we bought but don't need.

Lenny: The way things are going, the money going out won't be missed if it NEVER comes back. When you get to where we are, NOTHING can touch you.

Joel: [at his first party] Welcome. Eat, drink, and make contacts.

Linda: Joel throws a nice party, doesn't he?

Lenny: What's REALLY nice is that Uncle Sam pays for half. And HE wasn't even invited.

Linda: [at dinner with Ned] I'm a little too old to be a PROFESSIONAL ballerina.

Lenny: Now, I bet you never heard a beautiful girl admit to THAT.

Linda: Maybe we're going too fast. We should just take this a step at a time.

Lenny: To hell with that. You don't STEP through life. "Teacher, may I?" It goes too quick for that. You gotta LEAP through life!

Linda: [at dinner with Ned] ... Lenny told me about the mistake today. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He was sort of counting on that sale to break into the business.

Lenny: [to Linda] That doesn't mean anything to Ned.

Ned: What doesn't mean anything?

Lenny: Hustling for money. You're above all that.

Ned: I worry about money, just like everybody else.

Lenny: But you got some backstops. You start falling down that well, you got some slats across to catch yourself, right? You got your professor-father. You got an education. You got the Financial Journal. You can't fall too far. My old man's an ex-printer on disability! My mother is a secretary for the Ladies Garment Workers Union! I'VE GOT A HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION!

Linda: As long as we have each other we don't need anything else.

Linda: I'm not gonna SIT here and watch you KILL yourself!

Max: You two would be interested in our conversation. Didn't you tell me about that ointment...

Orlando: What ointment?

Max: The one some Africans use... to last longer. What was it again?

Orlando: Oh, that. It's nothing. Just some crocodile fat and pungent herbs that they smear on before they...

Mili: Smear on what?

Linda: Mili, don't play dumb.

Orlando: It works for hours.

Max: Hear that, Mili? It works for hours.

Mili: I don't believe it.

Corrado Zeller: It's true, it's true. You have no idea what men in other countries do. For example, in Jordan I saw men eat mutton fat and honey for breakfast.

Max: What about the Chinese? They eat ground rhinoceros horn.

Ugo: Dried shark fin is an energy booster too.

Max: I confess that I've tried royal jelly and it works. Right, LInda?

Giuliana: What's that?

Ugo: Honey from the queen bee.

Max: It's rejuvenating. Remember that in your old age, miss.

Corrado Zeller: Assuming she still wants to make love then.

Max: What do you say to that?

Iole: I'd rather do certain things than talk about them.

Mili: I hate him.

Linda: Who?

Mili: Your husband. He's like a vulture, always ready to swoop down on a factory in bankruptcy or a woman in distress. You'll see. He'll end up getting his way with me too.

Linda: [singing] We're going to get you. We're going to get you. Not another peep. Time to go to sleep.

Linda: Hey, Ash! I guessed the card right!

Ash: Yeah... truly amazing.

Linda: [possessed] It's useless! Useless! In time it will come for him and then it will come for you!

Bub: I swear to God. If my brother hadn't hit him in the head repeatedly with a blender, he would've killed me!

Linda: A blender?

Bub: Yeah, uh... a Hamilton Beach Blender.

Linda: This creep keeps calling, he's driving us nuts

Linda: [Making out with her co-worker on one of the checkouts] We're gonna get into so much trouble

Christopher: You're cute. Are you the babysitter?

Linda: Well, you're not. That's a stupid thing to do.

Christopher: It's Halloween!

Linda: Your an artist... your sensitive to your surrondings... and what beautiful surrondings they are

Linda: [on rewritting Paula's draft] You said it was like one of those books in Oxfam nobody wants to read

Linda: [ordering Paula to dissmiss her staff] It's me or them... and WITHOUT ME... WE'RE FUCKED

Linda: [writting] Hate! What is hate? An emotion that eats away at your soul till there's nothing left? Burns a hole in your heart? That seeps poison into your veins? Self loathing is the most painful addiction! Disrespects for all that we are? Who am I? A soul waiting to escape the confines of a cell... waiting to be set free from this world of torment... until this world drips blood

Robert Gainer: My i record this interview? I don't want to misquote you

Linda: So you want to know everything?

[last lines]

Robert Gainer: Yeah... Eveything

Linda: [screaming as she wraps piano wire round his neck] My brother WAS FUCKING MY BRAINS OUT... SINCE I WAS THIRTEEN... so i killed him. I RIPPED OUT HIS FUCKING SPLEEN WHILE HE WAS ONTOP OF ME!

[calms down as he dies]

Linda: There... now YOU KNOW everything!

[last lines]

Leo Fox: It's alright i told you i'd come for you... it's okay... you're alright it's over

Linda: [stabs him] You're right... it IS OVER!

Linda: Where do you think you're going with my work?

Sara Phillips: LINDA... Your biography... it's brillant... incredible i've never read anything like

Linda: Do you really think i'm going to let you walk out of here with all my work?

Sara Phillips: Where's Leo?

Linda: [gives an ugly grin] Oh he's up in the bedroom... you wanna see him?

Paula: [panicking] Sara get out of here... get out of here... while you can

Sara Phillips: Paula please... this isn't you

Paula: Sara please get out of here

Sara Phillips: [screams] I CAN'T... WHERE'S LEO?

[last lines]

Paula: [near tears] He's dead! I... KILLED... HIM!

Paula, Linda: [narrating from beyond the grave] Yeah... everything is just perfect

Linda: [paula has locked linda out] Stupid fucking bitch... I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU!

Paula: Where's Mrs Brown?

Linda: She's in the cellar... YOU FUCKING WHORE!

Paula: [on Gainer] Do you think he'll come back?

Linda: [turns round with a wicked ugly smile] Like I Said! There's nothing for you to worry about

Paula: [defiantly] They'll

[the house staff]

Paula: be back tommrow

Linda: [sneers] Fine well don't expect any work from ME TOMMROW!

[repeated line]

Linda: My brother WAS FUCKING MY BRAINS OUT... SINCE I WAS THIRTEEN... so i killed him. I RIPPED OUT HIS FUCKING SPLEEN WHILE HE WAS ONTOP OF ME!

Linda: But... we were going to give you lesbian sex.

David: You need any help with anything?

Linda: Like what?

David: Carrying your pictures? I guess you already did that.

Linda: Yeah I already did that.

David: I guess you don't need any help with anything. That's cool.

Linda: David, I don't think we should see each other any more.

David: Yeah, why?

Linda: First off I can't believe you just said that.

Eddie: Do you know what prison taught me?

Linda: What?

Eddie: Spanish.

Linda: Kevin's missing. Been gone two weeks.

Eddie: Where is he?

Linda: [annoyed] He's *missing.*

Eddie: Did he leave any money?

Linda: What?

Eddie: That come out wrong, sorry.

Linda: Who are you?

The Devil: Who am I?

[beat]

The Devil: I am the one who steals you from your dreams, and takes you to those much, much darker places.

Linda: You're not really serious about this.

Simon: I am, too.

Linda: The university is burning babies and killing men, and you're on the rowing team.

Simon: Rowing *crew*. Linda...

Linda: It's a waste. This strike is part of something real. That's better than being a rowing jock.

Simon: Now, look, most of the guys on the crew aren't jocks. I mean, uh, crew doesn't even have as many WASPs as it should have, according to the population percentage of WASPs in the nation.

Linda: Maybe it should be shut down.

Simon: Now, look, I mean they have uh, mustaches and everything.

Linda: Simon, if you wanna row a boat, row a boat.

Simon: Look, you don't understand what it's like. I mean it's, uh... it's erotic. I mean, you should try it. I mean it's a commitment. It's real.

Linda: It's not real. It's a game. The movement is real.

Simon: Linda...

Linda: What?

Simon: I am so incredibly confused.

Linda: So am I.

Linda: What are you doing?

Simon: I wanna feel... what it feels like to... *litter* from the back of a paddy wagon.

Linda: So how does it feel?

Simon: Nice. Not terrific, not fantastic, but... but nice.

Linda: Put your hands on my ass.

Whitney: But you're my boss.

Linda: Then do as you're told.

Linda: I told the girls at lunch today that we had one drink and the night ended. If I hear alternate stories floating around, you'll be fired.

Linda: Want bliss? Buy a candy bar.

Lily: Mom, come on, you're not homeless!

Linda: I could be!

Lily: Yeah, we all COULD be, but you're NOT!

Linda: Don't you want somebody else to touch it besides you?

Alex Madison: You are one sick, twisted bitch. This is going to stop right now.

Linda: Fuck you!