Lex Luthor Quotes in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Lex Luthor Quotes:
Lex Luthor: [looks at a picture of angels vs demons] That should be upside down. We know better now, don't we? Devils don't come from hell beneath us. No, they come from the sky.
Superman: You think I'll fight him for you?
Lex Luthor: Mm, yes, I do. I think you will fight, fight, fight for that special lady in your life!
Superman: She's safe on the ground. How about you?
Lex Luthor: Close, but I am not talking about Lois. No. Every boy's special lady is his mother... Martha, Martha, Martha... Now, the mother of a flying demon must be a witch. The punishment for witches, what is that? That's right. Death by fire.
Lex Luthor: See, what we call God depends upon our tribe, Clark Jo, 'cause God is tribal. God takes sides. No man in the sky intervened when I was a boy to deliver me from Daddy's fist and abominations. I figured out way back if God is all-powerful, He cannot be all good. And if He is all good, then He cannot be all-powerful. And neither can you be.
Lois Lane: You're psychotic.
Lex Luthor: That is a three syllable word for any thought too big for little minds.
Lex Luthor: Boys! Mm, Bruce Wayne meets Clark Kent. Ah, I love it! I love bringing people together! How are we?
[shakes Bruce's hand]
Bruce Wayne: Lex.
Lex Luthor: Hello. Good.
[turns to Clark]
Lex Luthor: Hi, hello.
[shakes Clark's hand]
Lex Luthor: Lex. It is a pleasure... Ow! Wow, that is a good grip! You should not pick a fight with this person.
Lex Luthor: And now you will fly to him, and you will battle him to the death. Black and blue. Fight night. The greatest gladiator match in the history of the world: God versus man; day versus night; Son of Krypton versus Bat of Gotham!
Lex Luthor: And now God bends to my will.
Lex Luthor: Do you know the oldest lie in America, Senator? It's that power can be innocent.
Batman: Whatever you do, wherever you go, I will be watching you.
Lex Luthor: But the bell's already been rung.
Lex Luthor: You don't need to use a silver bullet. But if you forge one, you don't need to depend on the kindness of monsters.
Lex Luthor: An ancient Kryptonian deformity; blood of my blood, born to destroy you!... Your Doomsday.
Lex Luthor: If man won't kill God, the Devil will do it!
Lex Luthor: The Red Capes are coming! The Red Capes are coming!
Lex Luthor: [to General Zod] You flew too close to the sun. Now look at you.
Lex Luthor: [giving speech] Books are knowledge and knowledge is power, and I am... no. Um, no. What am I? What was I saying? The bittersweet pain among men is having knowledge with no power because... because that is *paradoxical* and, um... thank you for coming.
Lex Luthor: The night is here.
Lex Luthor: He is coming! And he is hungry!
Lex Luthor: The bell's already been rung. They heard it; the creatures among the stars. They'll come... He'll come. He's angry... Ding-dong... Ding-dong... Ding-dong...
Lex Luthor: Boy, do we have problems up here!
[sets timer and stands up]
Lex Luthor: The problem of evil in the world. The problem of absolute virtue.
Superman: I'll take you in without breaking you, which is more than you deserve.
Lex Luthor: The problem of you on top of everything else. You above all. Ah. 'Cause that's what God is. Horus. Apollo. Jehovah. Kal-El. Clark Joseph Kent. See, what we call God depends upon our tribe, Clark Jo, because God is tribal. God take sides. No man in the sky intervened when I was a boy to deliver me from Daddy's fist and abominations. Mm-mm. I've figured it out way back, if God is all powerful, He cannot be all good. And if He's all good then He cannot be all powerful. And neither can you be. They need to see the fraud you are. With their eyes. The blood on your hands.
Superman: What have you done?
Lex Luthor: And tonight they will. Yes. Because you, my friend, have a date! Across the bay. Ripe fruit, his hate. Two years growing. But it did not take much to push him over actually. Little red notes, big bang, you let your family die! And now, you will fly to him, and you will battle him, to the death. Black and blue. Fight night! The greatest gladiator match in the history of the the world: God versus man...
[thunders in the background]
Lex Luthor: Day versus night. Son of Krypton versus Bat of Gotham!
Superman: You think I'll fight him for you?
Lex Luthor: Mm, yes, I do. I think you'll fight, fight, fight for that special lady in your life.
Superman: She's safe on the ground. How about you?
Lex Luthor: Close, but I'm not talking about Lois. No. Every boy's special lady is his mother.
[walks around Superman and shows him photos of Martha being muzzled]
Lex Luthor: Huh! Martha, Martha, Martha. The mother of a flying demon must be a witch. The punishment for witches, what is that? That's right. Death by fire.
[throws the photos one by one at Superman]
Superman: [angrily readies heat vision] Where is she?
Lex Luthor: I don't know! I wouldn't let them tell me! If you kill me, Martha dies. And if you fly away, Martha also dies. But if you kill the Bat, Martha lives.
[Superman calms down and Lex approaches his hand]
Lex Luthor: There we go. There we go. And now God bends to my will. Now, the cameras are waiting at your ship for the world to see the holes in the holy. Yes, the all mighty comes clean about how dirty he is when it counts. To save Martha, bring me the head of the Bat.
[helicopter arrives; Lex looks at his timer]
Lex Luthor: Mother of God, would you look at the time. When you came here, you had an hour. Now it's less.
Lex Luthor: Now God is good as dead.
Batman: Whatever you do, wherever you go, I'll be watching you!
[holds his bat-brand up to Luthor's face]
Lex Luthor: This is how it all caves in, civilization on the wane, manners out the window. But who would believe me, I... I'm insane. I'm not even fit to stand trial.
Batman: That's right. We have hospitals who treat the mentally ill with compassion...
[Lex chuckles nervously]
Batman: ...but that's not where you're going. I've arranged for you to get a transfer to Arkham Asylum in Gotham. I still have some friends there. They're expecting you.
Lex Luthor: Do you know the oldest lie in America, Senator? Can I call you June?
Senator Finch: You can call me whatever you like. Take a bucket of piss and call it Granny's Peach Tea; take a weapon of assassination and call it deterrence. You won't fool a fly or me. I'm not gonna drink it.
Lex Luthor: The bell cannot be unrung.
Lex Luthor: Ding-dong, the god is dead.
Lex Luthor: [last lines, in a prison cell] Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, the bells are ringing. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Lex Luthor: [to Superman] I don't hate the sinner. I hate the sin. And yours, my friend, is existing.
Lex Luthor: Martha, Martha, Martha!
Lex Luthor: Some people can read War and Peace and come away thinking it's a simple adventure story. Others can read the ingredients on a chewing gum wrapper and unlock the secrets of the universe.
Lex Luthor: We all have our little faults. Mine's in California.
Lex Luthor: [to Otis] Do you know why the number two hundred is so vitally descriptive to both you and me? It's your weight and my I.Q.
Superman: Is that how a warped brain like yours gets its kicks? By planning the death of innocent people?
Lex Luthor: No, by causing the death of innocent people.
Lex Luthor: Miss Teschmacher, when I was six years old my father said to me...
Miss Teschmacher: "Get out!"
Lex Luthor: [laughing] Before that. He said, "Son, stocks may rise and fall, utilities and transportation systems may collapse. People are no damn good, but they will always need land and they will pay through the nose to get it! Remember," my father said...
Otis: "... land."
Lex Luthor: Right. It's a pity he couldn't see from such humble beginnings how I've created this empire.
Miss Teschmacher: An empire? This?
Lex Luthor: Miss Teschmacher, how many girls do you know who have a Park Avenue address like this one?
Miss Teschmacher: [sarcastically] A Park Avenue address? Two hundred feet below?
Lex Luthor: Do you realize what people are shelling out up there, for a few miserable rooms off a common elevator?
Lex Luthor, Otis: What more could anyone ask?
Lex Luthor: [Superman thinks he has found the detonator with which to stop Luthor's missiles] Don't touch that!
[Superman opens the lead box, but instead of a detonator... ]
Lex Luthor: Ha ha, I told you. That's kryptonite, Superman. A little piece of the rock you were born on. I've spared no expense to make you feel right at home.
[Watching Otis approaching the hideout]
Lex Luthor: It's amazing that brain can generate enough power to keep those legs moving.
[Otis tells Lex how he's inputted the coordinates on the missile]
Lex Luthor: Otis! The third one was to be 11, and the fourth one, seven!
Otis: Oh. Oh, gee. Aw, gee. Gee, Mr. Luthor. Oh, I see. I guess my arm wasn't long enough, see?
Lex Luthor: Otis, would you like to see a long arm? Otis, would you like to see a very, very long arm?
Otis: Oh, no, Mr. Luthor.
Lex Luthor: Look at that overgrown boy scout, Miss Teschmacher. Tell me what you see.
Miss Teschmacher: Cuteness... Dimples.
Lex Luthor: You like cuteness, huh? You like dimples? I'll give you dimples.
[He turns machine guns on Superman, who isn't even fazed]
Lex Luthor: The pressure is still on you, Superman. You know what they say - "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the tunnel".
[He turns flamethrowers on Superman, who still isn't fazed]
Lex Luthor: This is your last chance, Superman. Why don't you do yourself a favor and take a chill-pill?
[He freezes Superman solid, but the Man of Steel breaks free]
Lex Luthor: [shouting] Miss Teschmacher!
[pointing to a map of California and the San Andreas Fault]
Lex Luthor: Everything west of this line is the richest, most expensive real estate in the world: San Diego, Los Angeles, San Francisco. Everything on THIS side of the line is just hundreds and hundreds of miles of worthless desert land, which just so happens to be owned by...
[Whacks Otis with his pointer]
Otis: Uh... Lex Luthor Incorporated.
Lex Luthor: Now, call me foolish, call me irresponsible, but it occurs to me that a 500 megaton bomb planted at just the proper point would...
Superman: Would destroy most of California. Millions of innocent people would be killed. The west coast as we know it would...
Lex Luthor: Fall into the sea.
Lex Luthor: [Gives a little wave with his hand] Bye-bye, California. Hello, new west coast. *My* west coast.
[Otis overlays map with new map]
Lex Luthor: Costa Del Lex. Luthorville. Lexington. Marina Del Lex. Otisburg. Lex Springs... Otisburg?
Otis: Miss Teschmacher's got her own place.
[indicates "Teschmacher Peaks"]
Lex Luthor: *Otisburg*?
Otis: It's an itty bitty town.
Lex Luthor: [Angry] OTISBURG?
Otis: Okay, I'll wipe it off. Just a little town, that's all.
[Lex stands on his library sliding ladder searching for a book]
Lex Luthor: n... n... n...
Otis: 'M'! You want 'M' Mr. Luthor?
[Otis moves the sliding ladder Lex is standing on, leaving Lex hanging from a shelf]
Otis: So, there you go, 'M'.
Lex Luthor: 'M' as in moron Otis? No, no, no, it's 'N'! 'N' as in neanderthal, nincompoop, nitwit and 'L' as in ladder!
Lex Luthor: You were great in your day, Superman. But it just stands to reason, when it came time to cash in your chips, this old... diseased... maniac would be your banker.
Lex Luthor: There's a strong streak of good in you, Superman. But then nobody's perfect... almost nobody.
Lex Luthor: [to Otis] You were followed again.
[Otis spins around, knocking over a lamp]
Lex Luthor: ...in spite of those catlike reflexes.
Lex Luthor: This is Lex Luthor. Only one thing alive with less than four legs can hear this frequency, Superman, and that's you.
Lex Luthor: [swimming in the pool, listening to news broadcasts about Superman] Miss Teschmacher! Turn it off.
Miss Teschmacher: [lying by the sunlamps] Lex, what's the story on this guy? Do you think it's the genuine article?
Lex Luthor: If he is, he's not from this world.
Miss Teschmacher: Why?
Lex Luthor: Because, if any human being were going to perpetrate such a fantastic hoax, it would have been me! Otis! My robe!
Otis: Right away, Mr. Luthor!
Lex Luthor: It all fits somehow, his coming here to Metropolis. And at this particular time. There's a kind of cruel justice about it. I mean, to commit the crime of the century, a man naturally wants to face the challenge of the century.
Otis: Listen, Mr. Luthor, maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?
Lex Luthor: [Lex gets out of the pool, and stops at the top step. Otis starts helping Lex on with the robe as the bottom of it proceeds to get soaked] Passing through? Not on your life. Which I would gladly sacrifice, by the way, for the opportunity of destroying everything that he represents. And, Otis, by the way, next time put my robe on *after* I'm out of the pool.
Miss Teschmacher: [after learning that there is a missile heading toward Hackensack] Lex, my mother lives in Hackensack.
[Luthor checks his watch and shrugs]
Lex Luthor: [DELETED LINE] You know what they say about omelets... We'll give her a spot on the map.
Lex Luthor: [in Luthor's underground hideout] Miss Teschmacher, how many girls do you know who have a Park Avenue address like this one?
Miss Teschmacher: [sarcastically] Park Avenue address? Two hundred feet *below*?
Miss Teschmacher: Tell me something, Lex, why do so many people have to die for the crime of the century?
Lex Luthor: Why? You ask why? Why does the phone always ring when you're in the bathtub?
Lex Luthor: *Why* is the most diabolical leader of our time surrounding himself with total nincompoops?
Otis: I'm back, Mr. Luthor!
Lex Luthor: Yes, I was just talking about you.
Superman: You don't even care where that other missile is headed, do you?
Lex Luthor: Of course I do. I know exactly where it's headed. Hackensack, New Jersey.
[he pushes Superman into the pool]
[Superman appears in Luthor's office]
Lex Luthor: Otis, take the gentleman's cape.
Otis: I don't think he wants me to, Mr. Luthor.
[the warden of a prison is sitting in his office when he hears the alarms sound & the guard dogs barking. He steps onto his balcony to see Superman flying into the prison yard, holding Luthor & Otis by the scruff of their jackets]
Lex Luthor: You're messing up my suit, you lummox, you!
Lex Luthor: [to Superman] Watch the ground!
[They land with a start. Luthor & Otis are immediately cornered by the guards]
Superman: Good evening, Warden. I think these 2 men should be safe here with you now till they can get a fair trial.
Warden: Who is it, Superman?
Lex Luthor: [Lex rips off his wig to reveal his bald head] Lex Luthor! The greatest criminal mind of our time!
Otis: [repeating what Lex says] ... Of our time!
Lex Luthor: I hereby serve notice...
Otis: He's serving notice to you...
Lex Luthor: That these walls...
Otis: That these walls here...
Lex Luthor: Will you shut up, please!
Superman: [to the guards] All right, take them away, boys!
[the guards take Luthor & Otis to a cell]
Lex Luthor: [shouting at Otis as the guards lead them away] Neanderthal! Nitwit! Nincompoop!
Lex Luthor: Otis, is that the newspaper I asked you to get me?
Lex Luthor: Why am I not reading it?
Otis: [thinks for a second] 'Cause I haven't given it to you yet?
Lex Luthor: [smiles] Right...
[snatches the newspaper from Otis' hand]
Miss Teschmacher: [looking at Lex's newspaper] A meteorite found in Addis Ababa. Uh, I know I'm gonna get rapped in the mouth for this, but... So what?
Lex Luthor: So what. You mean, to us, they're just meteorites. Fair enough. But the level of *specific* radioactivity is so high, to anyone from the planet Krypton, this substance is *lethal*!
Otis: Wait a minute, Mr. Luthor. You mean, fire and bullets can't hurt this guy, but this stuff here...
Miss Teschmacher, Otis: [in unison] ... will kill him!
Lex Luthor: Doesn't it give you, like, a shudder of electricity... to be in the same room with me?
Miss Teschmacher: [laughs] Not like the shudder *you're* gonna get when you try to lay that rock on him. He can see you coming for miles with those super-peepers of his.
Lex Luthor: [obviously, he's already thought of this] "Oh, Lord... You gave them eyes, yet they cannot see." Nor can Superman, through lead.
Miss Teschmacher: [understanding] He... can't... see... through... lead!
Lex Luthor: And Kryptonite will destroy him. Any questions, class?
[Lex switches on the remote door, pushing the police officer into the subway train's path killing him]
Miss Teschmacher: Sick. You're really sick.
Lex Luthor: Sick, Miss Teschmacher? Sick, when I'm mere days from executing the crime of the century? No, no, no, no. Step away from that, please. How do you choose to congratulate the greatest criminal mind of our time? Huh? Huh? You tell me than I'm brilliant? Oh, no, no, that would be too obvious, I grant you. Charismatic. Fiendishly gifted, uh...
Miss Teschmacher: Try "twisted."
Lex Luthor: [DELETED SCENE: at his underground manor, Luthor is playing the piano and singing] "You must've been a beautiful baby, you must've been a wonderful child; when you were only startin' to go to kindergarten, you must've drove the little boys wild; And when it came to winning blue ribbons, you must've shown the other kids how; I can see the judge's eyes, when he handed you the prize, you must've made the cutest bow; Yeah, you must've been a beautiful baby... 'Cause, baby, look at you now."
[He looks over at Eve T., who is about to be fed to Lex's "babies"]
Miss Teschmacher: [in tears] You can't do this to me...! Why, Lex? WHY?
Lex Luthor: Because I love you, Miss Teschmacher.
[He signals for Otis to drop Eve, which the henchman does. Then a familiar blue-and-red streak follows her down... and reappears, depositing Eve safely on the floor]
Superman: By the way, Miss Teschmacher, your mother sends her love.
[He gazes over at Luthor, who sighs in defeat]
Lex Luthor: The San Andreas Fault. Maybe you've heard of it?
Superman: Yes, it's the joining together of two land masses. The fault line is unstable and shifting, which is why you get earthquakes in California from time to time.
Lex Luthor: [beams] Wonderful. Couldn't have said it better myself.
Lex Luthor: Kitty, what did my father used to say to me?
Kitty Kowalski: You're losing your hair.
Lex Luthor: Before that.
Kitty Kowalski: Get out.
Lex Luthor: He said: You can print money, manufacture diamonds, and people are a dime a dozen, but they'll always need land. It's the one thing they're not making any more of.
Lex Luthor: Come on, let me hear you say it, just once.
Lois Lane: You're insane.
Lex Luthor: No!
Lex Luthor: Not that. The other thing. Come on, I know it's dangling on the tip of your tongue. Let me hear it just once, please?
Lois Lane: Superman will never...
Lex Luthor: WRONG!
Lois Lane: But millions of people will die!
Lex Luthor: Billions! Once again, the press underestimates me.
[Lex notices Jason staring at the Kryptonite in fear]
Lex Luthor: Who is that boy's father?
Lois Lane: Richard.
[Grant's voice comes over the intercom]
Grant: Mr. Luthor, we're approaching the coordinates.
Lex Luthor: [to Lois, ignoring Grant] Are you sure?
Grant: [misunderstanding] Yes sir.
Lois Lane: [gasps after Lex comes out of the bathroom] Lex Luthor!
Lex Luthor: [toothbrush in mouth] Lois Lane?
Jason White: You're bald!
Lex Luthor: Do you know the story of Prometheus? No, of course you don't. Prometheus was a god who stole the power of fire from the other gods and gave control of it to the mortals. In essence, he gave us technology, he gave us power.
Kitty Kowalski: So we're stealing fire? In the Arctic?
Lex Luthor: Actually, sort of. You see whoever controls technology controls the world. The Roman empire ruled the world because they built roads. The British empire ruled the world because they built ships. America; the atom bomb. And so on and so forth. I just want what Prometheus wanted.
Kitty Kowalski: Sounds great Lex, but you're not a god.
Lex Luthor: [fixes Kitty with an icy stare] Gods are selfish beings who fly around in little red capes and don't share their power with mankind. No, I don't want to be a *god*. I just want to bring fire to the people. And... I want my cut.
Lex Luthor: [angrily throws coconut into the ocean]
Kitty Kowalski: Lex! We only have six of those!
Lex Luthor: Six?
Lex Luthor: [screaming] I would trade three hundred THOUSAND coconuts and every ounce of your blood for a QUART OF GASOLINE!
Kitty Kowalski: But what will we have to eat?
Lex Luthor: [eyes the dog in Kitty's arms maliciously]
Kitty Kowalski: [Stomps into a room and slaps Lex across the face] I was going to pretend the brakes were out. Pretend! Like we talked about!
Kitty Kowalski: You didn't actually have to cut them!
Lex Luthor: Well of course I did. A man can always tell when a woman is pretending... especially Superman.
Lex Luthor: [pulls off wig and tosses it to little girl] You can keep that.
[referring to his newly-inherited mansion]
Lex Luthor: The rest is mine.
Lex Luthor: But we're not really strangers, are we? This is kind of a little reunion, isn't it? Heck, I'm a fan. I love your writing... and your dress.
Lois Lane: I love your boat. How'd you get it? Swindle some old widow out of her money?
Lex Luthor: [gushes and chuckles mockingly] That's funny. Hey, didn't you win the Pulitzer Prize for my favorite article of all time, 'Why the World DOESN'T Need Superman'?
Lois Lane: Didn't you have a few more years to go on that DOUBLE life sentence?
Lex Luthor: [pause as he glares at her] Yes, well, we can thank the Man of Steel for that. I mean, he's really good at swooping in and catching the bad guys, but he's not so hot at the little things, like Miranda rights, due process,
[under his breath]
Lex Luthor: making your court date...
Lex Luthor: This crystal may seem unremarkable, but then so is the seed of a redwood tree. It's how our mutual friend in tights made his Arctic getaway spot. Cute, but a little small for my taste.
Lex Luthor: Krrrrryptonite!
Lex Luthor: What do you know about crystals?
Lois Lane: They make great chandeliers.
Lex Luthor: This ordinary crystal is a seed, and all it needs is water.
Kitty Kowalski: Like Sea Monkeys?
Lex Luthor: [sighs] Exactly, Kitty. Like Sea Monkeys.
Kitty Kowalski: Your friends give me the creeps.
Lex Luthor: Prison is a creepy place, Kitty, and one needs to make creepy friends in order to survive. On the inside, even my talents were worth less than a carton of cigarettes and a sharp piece of metal in your pocket.
Lex Luthor: See anything familiar?
Superman: I see an old man's sick joke.
Lex Luthor: Really? Because I see my new apartment. And a place for Kitty. One for my friends. And the place over there, I'll rent out. But, you know, maybe you're right. You know, maybe it - It is a little cold. It's, uh - Uh - What's the word I'm searching for? It's a little... alien. It lacks that human touch.
Kitty Kowalski: Lex?
Lex Luthor: [lighting a cigar] Uh-huh?
Kitty Kowalski: Are billions of people really going to die?
[beat; Luthor takes a puff from the cigar]
Lex Luthor: [indifferently] Yes.
Kitty Kowalski: Wow, that's really something Lex.
Lex Luthor: Wait for it.
Kitty Kowalski: [long pause] Wow, that's really something Lex. It's freakin' Gone with the Wind.
Lex Luthor: [while kicking Superman] Didn't your dad ever teach you to *walk* before you *leap*?
Grant: Brutus is... dead. He got hit with the piano.
Lex Luthor: Where's the boy?
Grant: With the mother, locked up in the pantry.
Lex Luthor: Oh, it's time for us to go
Kitty Kowalski: [about Kryptonian technology] Sounds like a lot of hocus-pocus to me.
Lex Luthor: Well, naturally. To the primitive mind, any sufficiently advanced technology would be indistinguishable from magic.
[Arthur C. Clarke's "Third Law" from "Profiles of the Future," 1973]
Lex Luthor: Turn the camera off.
Riley: But I'm getting it.
Lex Luthor: Turn it off!
Riley: [turns off the camera and the lights go out] I think I did somethin' wrong.
Lex Luthor: No... that wasn't you.
Lex Luthor: [spots the van riddled with bullet-holes] Run into trouble?
Grant: You should see the other guy.
Lex Luthor: Bring it on!
Lex Luthor: You're not seeing the big picture here.
Lex Luthor: [after stabbing Superman] Now, fly.
Lex Luthor: You took away five years of my life. I'm just returning the favor!
Lex Luthor: [to Zod and Company, at the half-wrecked White House] ... Hi! Lex Luthor.
[no reaction from the Super Villains]
Lex Luthor: LEX LUTHOR! Possibly you've heard the name? the Greatest Criminal Mind on Earth!
Ursa: I told you this was a puny planet.
[moves menacingly towards Luthor]
Lex Luthor: Whoa whoa whoa wait... why don't you get to know me better?
[Ursa continues moving towards Luthor]
Lex Luthor: WAIT! I can give you anything! The... the... the... the Brass Ring, unlimited freedom to maim and kill! PLUS! Lex Luthor's keen mind, Lex Luthor's savvy, Lex Luthor's school of career guidance...
[Ursa begins crushing his hand]
General Zod: We already have this without you. You cannot bargain with what you don't have.
Lex Luthor: [sucking on his thumb to numb the pain] Oh Great One, what I am bargaining with is what YOU do not have: The Son of Jor-El.
General Zod: The Son of Jor-El?
Lex Luthor: [confused] I just said that.
General Zod: Jor-El? Our jailer?
Lex Luthor: [sarcastically] No, Jor-El the BASEBALL PLAYER...
[Ursa and Non start moving menacingly towards Luthor]
Lex Luthor: Yes, Jor-El your jailer.
General Zod: The Son of Jor-El! On this planet!
Lex Luthor: Perhaps you know him better by his nom de voyage, or the name he travels under: Superman.
General Zod: So THIS is Superman! How do you know of Jor-El?
Lex Luthor: Well, Your Excellency, as I explained earlier: I'm about the best there is.
General Zod: Revenge! We will kill the son of our jailer!
Lex Luthor: REVENGE! Now we're cooking!
General Zod: He flies then?
Lex Luthor: Constantly.
General Zod: He has powers as we do?
Lex Luthor: Certainly. But, oh Magnificent One, he is one, while you are three.
Lex Luthor: Or four, if you count him twice!
General Zod: Come! We will bring him to his knees!
General Zod: Yes, to ME!
Lex Luthor: Wait!
[the Super Villains turn to face Luthor]
Lex Luthor: First you must find him... and Lex Baby is the only one who knows where he is...
Lex Luthor: What am I gonna do with you people, huh? I held up my end, I delivered the blue boy. What do I get from my triple threat? "Bow! Yield! Kneel!" That kind of stuff closes out a town.
General Zod: Why do you say this to me when you know I will kill you for it?
Lex Luthor: Kill me? Lex Luthor? Extinguish the greatest criminal flame of our age? Eradicate the only man on Earth with...
Ursa: Kill him!
Lex Luthor: ...Superman's address?
General Zod: Come. The three of us will crush the son of our jailer!
Lex Luthor: Why didn't you go before we left?
Eve Teschmacher: That was two days ago.
General Zod: Did you think we would give up our advantage? No. The son of Jor-El will be my slave... forever. Or else, the millions of Earthlings you protect shall pay for your defiance.
Lex Luthor: [Lex arrives] Hi, guys. Sorry I'm late.
General Zod: We have no more use for this one. Kill him.
Lex Luthor: Me? Lex Luthor? General, you came to me with nothing. I gave you Superman!
General Zod: Silence!
Eve Teschmacher: I like trees.
Lex Luthor: So does your average cocker spaniel.
Lex Luthor: [as he's strolling through the half-demolished Daily Planet, in the wake of General Zod's minions; to himself] ... Even with all this accumulated knowledge, when will these dummies learn to use a DOOR KNOB?
Lex Luthor: Howdy, folks! You should see the White House; they'll be cleaning it for months.
Superman: [at the Fortress of Solitude; whispering to Luthor] Try and get them all into this molecule chamber. It takes away their powers, see... and turns them into ordinary human beings. Now if you could...
Superman: Shh, shh!
Lex Luthor: [pauses] General, don't go in there. It's a trap.
Superman: Luthor, you poisonous snake!
Lex Luthor: That's a molecule chamber. It turns people like you into people like me.
General Zod: [nods] You've done well, Lex Luthor.
Lex Luthor: [pointing] The crystal there activates the mechanism.
General Zod: Lex Luthor, ruler of Australia... activate the machine.
[Non grabs Luthor and flies him up to the control panel]
[Eve Teschmacher & Luthor are in a balloon over the arctic, after escaping the penetentiary & leaving Otis behind]
Eve Teschmacher: Lex, how could you do that to Otis?
Lex Luthor: What else is ballast for?
Lex Luthor: Superman! Thank God!
[sees Zod glaring at him]
Lex Luthor: I mean, get him!
Lex Luthor: North... Why does he always go north?
Otis: He wants to ski?
Otis: How're we gonna get over that wall?
Lex Luthor: How'd we get in here?
Otis: We flew in, doncha remember?
Lex Luthor: That's how we're gonna get out.
Lex Luthor: [to Superman] Guy's a clod. Promises were made, gifts exchanged. I gotta hand it to you, you know. You always told the truth, a guy always knew where he stood with you.
Eve Teschmacher: [offscreen from a balloon] Psst.
Lex Luthor: Did you do "psst?"
Otis: No, but I wish I had before we left.
Eve Teschmacher: Psst.
Lex Luthor: Not that "psst", *that* "psst."
Eve Teschmacher: Psst.
Lex Luthor: Psst.
Lex Luthor: Don't go "psst" when I go "psst".
Lex Luthor: Get out there and find it.
Otis: Okay. What am I looking for?
Lex Luthor: You'll know it when you see it.
Otis: Oh. Psst.
General Zod: Did you think we would give up our advantage? Now... the son of Jor-El will be my slave... forever, if not, the millions of Earthlings you protect shall pay for your defiance. Destroy this place.
Lex Luthor: Hi, guys. Sorry I'm late.
General Zod: We have no more use for this one, kill him.
Lex Luthor: Me? Lex Luthor? General... you came to me with nothing, I gave you Superman!
General Zod: Silence!
Lex Luthor: Well, look -
[Non shoves Luthor from behind]
Lex Luthor: Watch it, don't touch me!
Lex Luthor: Guy's a clod; promises were made, gifts exchanged. I gotta hand it to you, you know. You always told the truth, a guy always knew where he stood with you.
[whispers to Lex Luthor]
Superman: Try and get them all into this molecule chamber. It takes away their powers, see... and turns them into ordinary human beings. Now if you could -
Superman: Shh, shh!
Lex Luthor: General, don't go in there, it's a trap.
Superman: Luthor, you poisonous snake!
Lex Luthor: That's a molecule chamber. It makes people like you into people like me.
General Zod: You've done well, Lex Luthor.
Lex Luthor: General, uh... the crystal there, uh... activates the mechanism.
General Zod: Lex Luthor, ruler of Australia... activate the machine.
[Non grabs Luthor and flies him up to the control panel]
Lex Luthor: Thank you.
[takes a crystal]
Lex Luthor: With your permission.
[Lois cries as Superman enters the chamber and the lights turn on]
General Zod: [Superman exits the chamber, and proceeds to kneel before Zod] And now... finally. Take my hand... and swear eternal loyalty to Zod.
[Superman grips Zod's hand and crushes it]
General Zod: Ahhh, uuuuh! Oooohhh, ahhh!
[Superman lifts Zod off the ground]
General Zod: Oooh, oh no!
[Superman throws Zod against the Fortress's wall, where he falls into the chasm below]
General Zod: Ugggh!
[Non tries to fly, but falls off the cliff, into the chasm below]
Non: Huh? Ohhhh!
Lex Luthor: He switched it, he did it to them! I mean, the lights were on out here... while he was safe in there!
[Superman nods and gives Luthor an OK sign]
Lois Lane: You know something? You're a real pain in the neck!
[Lois punches Ursa into the chasm below]
Superman: [Lois goes to Superman, who hugs her] Are you all right?
Lois Lane: Mm-hmm.
Superman: I knew you'd double-cross me, Luthor. A lying weasel like you couldn't resist the chance.
Lex Luthor: Me, are you kidding? Hey, I was with you all the time! That was beautiful! Did you see the way they fell into our trap? Ha ha ha ha!
Superman: Too late, Luthor! Too late.
Lex Luthor: Look - look, Superman, I got- I got a proposition for you. Now, now don't stop me, don't stop until you've heard me because... I know I owe you one, but we're in the North Pole, right? Let's wipe the slate clean. If you give me a ride back, I promise I'll turn over a whole new leaf...
Lex Luthor: [Superman has dropped Luthor off at prison and they are discussing nuclear weapons] Is the world gonna be vaporized?
Superman: No. It's the same as it's always been, Luthor. On the brink. With good fighting evil. See you in twenty.
[Superman flies off]
Lex Luthor: Destroy Superman!
Nuclear Man: First, I have fun.
Lex Luthor: This is my nephew Lenny. He worships me.
Lex Luthor: Lenny, let's try and keep your IQ a family secret.
Superman: You'd risk world wide nuclear war for your own personal financial gain.
Lex Luthor: Nobody wants war. I just want to keep the threat alive.
Lex Luthor: You know what I can do with a single strand of Superman's hair?
Lenny: You can make a toupee that flies.
Lex Luthor: Just remember, I made you.
Lenny: Yeah, you're just an experiment, freako!
[Nuclear Man raises his hand and lifts Lenny up into the air]
Nuclear Man: [Makes Lenny spin around] I am an experiment? I am a freako?
[Sets Lenny down]
Lex Luthor: I made you and I can destroy you.
Nuclear Man: Destroy. Destroy Superman now!
Lenny: You gonna skip the country, Uncle Lex?
Lex Luthor: Lenny, you pathetic product of the public school system, your Uncle Lex has had nothing on his mind the past few years except for one thing:
Lenny, Lex Luthor: Destroy Superman!
Lex Luthor: He gets his energy from the sun. Without it, he's like you at night - useless.
Lex Luthor: A hearty bienvenue to Jean-Pierre Dubois, nuclear warhead dealer to the world. His motto is: "If you didn't buy it from Jean-Pierre, you didn't buy it on ze black market."
Nuclear Man: Destroy Superman.
Lex Luthor: Later.
Lex Luthor: [to Superman] He's a little bit anxious. Can you blame him?
Lex Luthor: [to Superman] Goodnight, sweet prince. Parting is... inevitable.
Lenny: You know what this means, Uncle Lex?
Lex Luthor: What?
Lenny: We're gonna be parents!
Lex Luthor: [introduces Nuclear Man to Superman] Look closely at the cell structure. You see anything familiar?
Superman: You've broken all the laws of man, Luthor. Not it looks as though you've broken all the laws of nature, too. I can only assume you must have hidden a device of some kind on one of the missiles I hurled into the sun.
Lex Luthor: You know, Mr. Muscle, I'm really gonna miss these little chats we had together. You're the only one that could keep up with me.
Lex Luthor: [to Lenny] Now Leonard, your Uncle Lex, with this protoplasm that I've grown from Superman's hair cells... will duplicate creation itself!
Lex Luthor: Lenny, I've always considered you the Dutch Elm disease in my family tree.
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