Lex Quotes in Jurassic Park (1993)

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Lex Quotes:

  • Tim: [after climbing down the tree to escape the falling car] I hate trees!

    Lex: They don't bother me.

    Tim: Oh yeah? Well, you weren't in the last one!

  • Lex: It's a UNIX system! I know this!

  • Dr. Alan Grant: [finding egg shells] Oh my God. Do you know what this is? This is a dinosaur egg. The dinosaurs are breeding.

    Tim: But Grandpa said all the dinosaurs were girls.

    Dr. Alan Grant: Amphibian DNA.

    Lex: What's that?

    Dr. Alan Grant: Well, on the tour, the film said they used frog DNA to fill in the gene sequence gaps. They mutated the dinosaur genetic code and blended it with that of a frog's. Now, some West African frogs have been known to spontaneously change sex from male to female in a single sex environment. Malcolm was right. Look...

    [we see a trail of baby dinosaur footprints]

    Dr. Alan Grant: Life found a way.

  • Dr. Alan Grant: [Grant throws a branch at the inert perimeter fence] I guess that means the power's off.

    [Grant grabs the fence, pretending to be electrocuted and Lex and Tim scream]

    Lex: [Grant smiles at Lex and Tim] That's not funny.

    Tim: [laughing] That was great.

  • Lex: He's gonna eat the goat?

    Tim: Excellent!

    Donald Gennaro: What's the matter, kid? You never had lamb chops?

    Lex: I happen to be a vegetarian.

  • Lex: [Grant and the kids are climbing the perimeter fence] Timmy, I bet I can climb over the top and get on the other side before you can even get to the top.

    Tim: What would you give me?

    Lex: Respect.

  • [They're feeding leafy branches to a docile Brachiosaurus]

    Lex: Can I touch it?

    Dr. Alan Grant: Sure. Just think of it as... kind of a big cow.

  • Dr. Alan Grant: [looking at a dinosaur herd] Tim. Tim, can you tell me what they are?

    Tim: They're, Gal... uh... uh, Galli... uh, Gallimimus.

    Lex: Are those... meat-eating... uh, meatasauruses?

    Dr. Alan Grant: [the dinosaurs change direction] The wheel uniform changes just like a flock of birds evading a predator.

    Tim: They're, uh... they're flocking this way.

  • Lex: I'm a hacker!

    Tim: That's what I said: you're a nerd.

    Lex: I am not a computer nerd. I prefer to be called a hacker!

  • Lex: What if the dinosaurs come back while we're all asleep?

    Dr. Alan Grant: Hmm. I'll stay awake.

    Lex: All night?

    Dr. Alan Grant: [reassuringly] All night.

  • Lex: [after being sneezed on by a Brachiosaur] Yuck!

    Tim: Oh, great. Now she'll never try anything anymore. She'll just sit in her room, and never come out, and play on her computer.

  • Lex: [Ellie] She said I should ride with you

    [Grant]

    Lex: because it would be good for you.

  • Tim: [Tim hears a distant rumble] You feel that?

    Donald Gennaro: [Gennaro can hear it now, and sees the interior mirror in the tour car quiver with each rumble] Maybe its the power trying to come back on?

    Lex: [another rumble] What is that?

    [Tim looks through the goggles and sees the goat in the T-Rex paddock is gone, the chain still swinging]

    Lex: Where's the goat?

    [a leg from the goat lands on the roof of the car]

    Donald Gennaro: [the T-Rex is holding onto an inert electric fence, than swallows the remainder of the goat and looks at the tour car] Oh, Jesus! Oh, Jesus!

    [Gennaro gets out the car]

    Lex: He left us! He left us!

  • Lex: I like cows.

    [to a Brachiosaur]

    Lex: Come on, girl. I'm here, girl. Come on.

    [the Brachiosaur sneezes on Lex]

    Tim: God bless you!

  • Lex: [the T-Rex has just killed a Gallimimus] I want to go now.

    Dr. Alan Grant: Look how it eats.

    Lex: Please!

    Dr. Alan Grant: [to Tim] I bet you'll never look at birds the same way again.

  • Lex: [a Brachiosaur eats from the tree Grant, Lex and Tim are sleeping in] Go away!

    Dr. Alan Grant: It's OK. It's OK. It's a Brachiosaur.

    Tim: It's a veggiesaurus Lex! Veggiesaurus!

    Lex: Veggie!

  • Lex: What are you and Ellie gonna do now if you don't have to pick up dinosaur bones anymore?

    Dr. Alan Grant: I don't know. I guess... I guess we'll just have to evolve too.

  • Lex: [Brachiosaurs hearing Grant imitate they're singing look up in his direction] Sh. Sh. Don't let the monsters come over here.

    Dr. Alan Grant: They're not monsters, Lex. They're just animals. And these are herbivores.

    Tim: That means they only eat vegetables, but for you I think they'd make an exception.

  • Lex: He left us! He left us!

    Dr. Alan Grant: But that's *not* what *I'm* gonna do.

  • Lex: [the T-Rex is roaring in the distance] Are you hearing this?

  • Lex: [Lex switched on a flashlight, attracting the unwanted attention of the T-Rex] I'm sorry!

  • Lex: Timmy!

    Dr. Alan Grant: Tim!

    [the T-Rex tries to push the car with Tim inside over an embankment]

  • Lex: Go back to Cleveland, Cleveland!

  • Christine: Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?

    Hawk: Why don't you lick my hairy crack?

    Christine: Why don't you bend over, you're lookin' right at it!

    Lex: [Everybody looks at each other in puzzlement] That last remark fell about 30 yards away from makin' any sense whatsoever!

  • [Trip calls Lex's mom a dyke]

    Lex: Just because she's a female gynecologist, doesn't mean she's a lesbian. And even if she was, at least my mom didn't give birth to me while she was on LSD.

    Trip: 'Shrooms!

  • [Trip is kicking the walls of the washroom]

    Lex: Take it easy man. This is the girls crapper, remember?

    Trip: Aw, wake up Lex! We just watched Jam's mom torch our fucking KISS tickets man! Not REO Speedwagon, not Journey, not The Bay City Rollers. KISS, man! If you can think of a better reason to trash a girl's bathroom I'd sure like to hear it.

  • Christine: Hey, you know what? Disco's so fucking big right now, I wouldn't be suprised if KISS did a disco song.

    Lex: Man, if there's one thing KISS will never do, it is a bullshit disco song.

    Jam: No shit man!

    Trip: Yeah man. Disco blows dogs for quarters man!

  • Lex: Man I've never heard a girl blow ass before!

  • Lex: Mrs. Bruce is a psycho bitch from Hell.

  • Lex: Hey, thanks for letting us use your make-up supply. You must have the entire Revlon factory in your purse, you greasy disco ball!

  • Lex: [Voices, and Faces inside Trip's head as He contemplates robbing a store] I can't believe you're thinking of robbing a store, Trip. I mean, You don't pass go, and collect 200 Dollars for pulling Stuff like this, Man.

    Hawk: No shit, Man, is this really worth it? Still, You're gonna get Your ass kicked nine ways to Sunday by that fucking Gorilla, but I guess it's still a Hundred Times better than getting it Porked for the next Three to Five, right?

    Jam: What about that Girl Trip, She'll never forget this Night. Even if You got away with it, She'll be Scarred for Life, I mean, when are You gonna realize some Day, that being Tough, means being Tender?

    Trip: [Aloud] Alright everybody, just Shut up!

    [All the Customers look at Trip questionably, as Trip fakes a Cough]

  • [the guys find out their Volvo has been stolen]

    Lex: We must get the cops in on this Volvo-situation.

    Hawk: Lex, this is Detroit. You think the cops are gonna waste city-dollars on a Swedish car?

  • Trip: [looks at Jam, dressed in nerdy clothes] Man, that geek looks just like Jam.

    Lex: Man, that geek *is* Jam.

    Hawk: [yells across the campus] HEY, DORK!

    [Jam flips them off, they all start laughing]

  • Trip: Whoa, man. I just had the killer-est vision, man. Imagine Mystery, openin' up for KISS, man.

    Lex: Oh, that'd be fuckin' IT, man!

    Trip: It could happen, man. it could happen!

    Jam: You know, in '73, KISS was opening for Blue Oyster Cult. One year later, to the day, man, Blue Oyster Cult was opening for KISS.

    Lex: Yeah, well, we're not gonna be openin' for anyone until our lead singer gets over his stage fright.

    Hawk: [scoffs] Man, I don't have fucking stage fright, man!

    Lex: Then why'd you pass out at Bing's party before the first fucking song?

    Hawk: That was one show, man!

    Lex: Yeah, that was our only show, and you dropped like a dead deer on us!

    Hawk: Shut up, man.

  • Lex: [shoots sparks in his eyes] SHIT, man!

  • Beefy Jerk #1: [Lex is about to leave] Hey! What about the fucking dogs?

    Lex: You got a phone in there, man?

    Beefy Jerk #1: Yeah.

    Lex: Call the cops.

  • [after Jam's mom finds the Kiss record]

    Lex: Man, I was afraid some bullshit like this was gonna happen. If Jam misses Peter Criss's drum solo, he won't be able to continue with his fucking life!

    Hawk: Lex! Quit Jynxing us man! No one is missing that concert tomorrow night!

  • Trip: So who did your wardrobe? A band of preppy sailboat captains?

    Jam: Hey, my mom had me over a barrel, alright? After what happened last night I had to let her *dress* me today!

    [Huffs]

    Jam: It's a give-and-take relationship.

    Lex: Yeah, she gives you shit, and you take it!

    Hawk: Jam, give me the tickets, man, I wanna hang on to them.

    Jam: The... tickets?

    Hawk: What?

    Jam: you see, there's a little, *little* problem with that. They're still at my house in Trip's jacket.

    Hawk: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

    Jam: She was standing right over me while I was changing, for fuck's sake!

    Hawk: Jam, you are so pathetic, man!

    Trip: That is some sick shit right there! What, does she comb your ass hair for you too?

    Lex: Jam, if she even smells those tickets, she'll destroy 'em, and we get fucked outta seein' KISS for the third year in a row!

    Jam: They're fine, they're at my house, they're perfectly safe. We can go there right after school and pick 'em up. My mom's not even gonna be there!

    Trip: Dudes, hours from now, we're actually gonna be seein' KISS!

    Hawk: All right, man. We'll just double time it to your house, and grab the tickets before heading to the train station for the 3:45 to DETROIT... ROCK... CITY! GOD!

    [Bell rings]

    Hawk: Well, as they say in the tampon biz, see you next period.

    [slams locker door]

  • Lex: You just upset the Incredible Hulk, his idiot half brother, and the two circus clowns.

  • Lex: You know, your clothes may say disco, but your eyes say rock n' roll.

    Christine: Yeah? Well, your belt buckle may say rock n' roll, but your breath says pepperoni, baby.

  • Christine: You guys like Disco? Y'know, I teach disco dancing back at my church... you guys look like you got a little rhythm in your blood... free lessons if you let me go...

    Beefy Jerk #1: Oh, I know what dance we could do... 'The Horizontal Hustle'.

    [Door opens, Lex enters]

    Lex: Hey peanut-turds! I'm here for the girl and the car!

  • Hawk: [three Stellas are walking by] I wish somebody would tell these girls that *DISCO'S DEAD!*

    Stella 1: Don't stare too long, boys, you'll go blind!

    Lex: Yeah, right! Stellas. I hate Stellas almost as much as I hate dogs.

    Trip: Yeah, man. Same species when you stop to think about it, man!

  • Lex: [lifts up pillow to see the spilled bong on the bed] Trip, you asshole!

    Trip: What?

    Lex: Man, you spilled the bong water all over the bed!

  • Lex: [encounters several snarling dogs] Oh, God, God if you get me out of this, I swear, I will never pull my pork again!

  • Lex: Okay, fuck it, man. I j- I just give up.

    [louder growling]

    Lex: Oh, God, man, what now? Wolves?

  • Lex: [to dogs] Tear these grease monkeys a new asshole!

    [dogs corner chop shop guys in an office]

    Lex: One step out of that office, and your asses are Alpo!

  • Lex: [while singing "Rock and roll all night"] Give it to me, baby!

  • Lex: We're not stealing my mom's car. Okay, that's not happening.

    Hawk: You're damn right we are.

  • Lex: Man, that weed knocked Christine on her ass. She's sleeping like a baby Stella.

    Trip: Let's lift up her skirt!

  • Lex: [Guido's car is ramming the Volvo] *The paint!*

  • Lex: [being chased by security guards] MAN!

Browse more character quotes from Jurassic Park (1993)

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