Leslie Quotes in Jue di tao wang (2016)

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Leslie Quotes:

  • Bennie Chan: [after being struck in the neck by Connor] Have they gone?

    Leslie: [smiling] Yes.

    Bennie Chan: [faints]

  • [Flint is "preparing" for his assignment]

    Leslie: It worries me so when he stops his heart this way. It's over three hours, isn't it?

    Anna: Yes. But it does relax him.

    Leslie: Must be a dangerous assignment.

  • [On a melting iceberg]

    Leslie: [measures the base] 37 inches to go.

    Fate: Oh, 37 inches to go. Huzzah! At the rate we've been melting, that's good for about one more week!

    Leslie: You'd better keep it to yourself.

    Fate: Oh, of course I'll keep it to myself. Until the water reaches my lower lip, and then I'm gonna mention it to SOMEBODY!

  • Leslie: Are you a native of Borracho?

    Lily Olay: I ain't no native, I was born here!

  • Professor Fate: [having beaten Leslie] I am king! I am THE King!

    [sees Leslie and Maggie kissing]

    Professor Fate: No, I'm not!

    Max: What?

    Professor Fate: I didn't beat him, he let me win! I can't win this way! I can only win one way, MY way! He let me win!

    [angrily climbs on Leslie's car]

    Professor Fate: You cheated! Cheated! I hate you! I refuse to accept! I won't win any way but my way! You've ruined my reputation, do you hear? You I hate! You and your hair that's always combed, your suit that's always white, your car that's always clean! I refuse to accept! I challenge you to another race!

    Leslie: Get off my hood!

    [crowd cheers]

    Professor Fate: Another race!

  • Maggie DuBois: And because I consider myself sexually free and morally emancipated, I am still a responsible, discriminating woman who does not intend to jump into bed with the first wavy-haired, muscle-bound, egocentric male who thinks he can seduce me by agreeing with some of the things I believe in.

    Leslie: I only wanted to kiss you!

    Maggie DuBois: Why?

    Leslie: Because I love you, that's why!

    Maggie DuBois: Ha!

    Leslie: You don't believe me, huh?

    Maggie DuBois: I do not!

    [Leslie stops the car, inches from the finish line]

    Maggie DuBois: What are you doing?

    Leslie: Proving that I love you.

    Maggie DuBois: But you'll lose the race!

    Leslie: Can you think of a better way to prove it?

  • [on the iceberg]

    Fate: You're wasting your time!

    Leslie: Perhaps.

    Fate: We're melting!

    Leslie: Slowly.

    Max: We're gonna sink!

    Leslie: Eventually.

    Fate: Then you're wasting your time!

  • Leslie: It's been my experience, General, that there is little advantage to winning if one wins too easily.

    Prince Hapnik: Rah! Oh oh, rah! Oh rah! Oh rah ah ah! What do you think of that, General?

    General: An admirable point of view, for anyone but a soldier. In my profession, to win is imperative. To win easily is a blessing.

  • Leslie: It's just that you bear an uncanny resemblance to someone we both know.

    Prince Hapnick: Someone who looks like me?

    Leslie: Yes, sir.

    Prince Hapnick: [laughing, then comes silent pause] Poor fellow.

  • Maggie DuBois: You lost.

    Leslie: Only the race.

    [they kiss]

  • Baron von Stuppe: Well, Mr. Leslie. I had expected to see you again, but... eh... Not with a sword in your hand. Are you partial to the foil?

    Leslie: Not particularly. It happened to be convenient.

    Baron von Stuppe: I presume you know how to use one.

    Leslie: I hope that won't be necessary.

    Baron von Stuppe: I'm sure you do.

    Leslie: Will you release Ms. Dubois and the others?

    Baron von Stuppe: No...

    Leslie: I'm afraid this will be necessary.

    Baron von Stuppe: You're being very foolish, Mr. Leslie.

    Leslie: That's an assumption, Baron. You make me the victim even before we start!

    Baron von Stuppe: [shrugs] It's your life...

    Leslie: [gestures with sword] You're assuming again.

  • Leslie: Minutes have made the difference in survival, Miss DuBois.

  • [Leslie encounters Maggie stranded in the desert]

    Leslie: I'm offering you a lift.

    [Maggie ignores him]

    Leslie: Or would you prefer an engraved invitation?

    Maggie DuBois: I might consider an apology.

    Leslie: An apology? For what? It's twenty miles back to Borracho, you'd never make it.

    Maggie DuBois: Well, that's your fault.

    Leslie: MY fault?

  • Leslie: I was once on an anthropological expedition to study the Kwakiutl Indians. In the winter, one Kwakiutl Indian in a blanket froze, but two Kwakiutl Indians in the same blanket...

    Maggie DuBois: Yes...?

    Leslie: ...Were warmer.

  • Professor Fate: [inside Leslie's car with Max] My apologies, there's a polar bear in our car.

    Leslie: If you don't leave this car immediately, I shall personally feed you to the bear!

  • Leslie: [to Maggie] You talk a good fight, but when it comes down to it, you're as emancipated as a confirmed spinster in a knitting bee.

  • Harry Washello: Can anybody here fly a helicopter? Listen, it's an emergency, it's for a heart transplant. Can anybody fly a helicopter?

    Power Lifter: Hey, I can.

    Harry Washello: You can fly a chopper?

    Power Lifter: Bell jets, Hueys, pretty rusty at comeback though, I'll need bucks.

    Harry Washello: Whatever you want, okay? But we gotta go now, it's not really for a transplant, alright? We'll all be dead if we don't get out of here, it's a matter of minutes.

    Power Lifter: What's the problem?

    Harry Washello: Toxic fire, cyanide, the wind's starting to blow in this direction, a lot of people are going to die, we gotta go now.

    Power Lifter: If shit like that's coming down, I gotta bring somebody, okay?

    Harry Washello: Oh hey man, there's no time.

    Power Lifter: Then shoot me.

    Harry Washello: Alright, go ahead, go, hurry.

    Power Lifter: [goes to the door, whistles] Leslie! Come on! We're going!

    Leslie: What the hell's going on?

    Power Lifter: Any problem?

    Harry Washello: No, no there's no problem.

  • Leslie: That which he covets will prove to be his demise!

  • Russell Hammond: If something should happen... maybe I never said this enough. I love all of you.

    Dennis Hope: I once hit a man in Dearborn, Michigan. A hit and run. I hit him and just kept on going. I don't know if he's alive or dead... but I'm sorry. Not a day goes by I don't see his face.

    Leslie: Oh my God!

    Dick Roswell: Look, I love you all too. You're like a family to me. Especially since Marna left me. And listen, fellas... I just want you to know, if I took an extra dollar or two here and there... it's because I knew I'd earned it.

    Russell Hammond: Yeah. I slept with Marna, Dick.

    Jeff Bebe: I did too.

    Larry Fellows: I waited until you broke up with her, Dick. But me too.

    Jeff Bebe: [to Russell] I also slept with Leslie, when you were fighting.

    Russell Hammond: [to Leslie] You slept with Jeff?

    Leslie: Yeah, but it didn't count. It was the summer we decided to be free of all rules.

    Russell Hammond: [to Jeff] And you say you love me!

    Jeff Bebe: I don't love you, man. I never did. None of us love you. You act above us. You always have.

    Larry Fellows: Finally, the truth.

    Jeff Bebe: You just held it over us, like you might leave. Like we're lucky to be with you. And we had to live with it, man. I had to live with you, and now I might die with you, and it's not fucking fair!

    Russell Hammond: Please, enough!

    Jeff Bebe: And I'm still in love with you, Leslie.

    Leslie: Oh, I don't wanna hear any more. Shut up, Jeffrey!

    Dick Roswell: It's all happening.

    Russell Hammond: What the fuck! Whatever happens, Bebe, you're dead.

    Jeff Bebe: Don't be self-righteous, Russell. Not now, man. You were sleeping with Penny, that fucking groupie, last summer up until yesterday. Why don't you tell Leslie that?

    Russell Hammond: Shut up!

    Dennis Hope: I quit!

    Russell Hammond: I'm gonna kill you!

    Dennis Hope: I quit!

    William Miller: "That groupie"? She was a Band-Aid! All she did was love your band. And you used her, all of you! You used her and threw her away! She almost died last night while you were with Bob Dylan. You guys, you're always talking about the fans, the fans, the fans; she was your biggest fan, and you threw her away! And if you can't see that, that's your biggest problem. And I love her! I love her!

  • Jeff Bebe: And I also slept with Leslie.

    Russell Hammond: You slept with Jeff?

    Leslie: Yeah, but it didn't COUNT! It was the summer we decided to be free of all rules!

  • Leslie: I can't believe Roberta's a prostitute.

    Gary: Roberta's not a prostitute.

    Leslie: I saw this thing on television about this woman who turned tricks in the city from nine until noon, then went shopping all afternoon. It was years before her husband found out about it. Oh, my God, I've heard that four out of five prostitutes are lesbians.

    Gary: Don't you think I would know if my wife was a lesbian?

    Leslie: Why? You didn't know she was a prostitute!

  • Leslie: I can't believe the two of you are eating in the middle of a crisis like this.

    Gary: We're nervous, what do you want...

    Leslie: Then take a Valium like a normal person.

  • Roberta: Here it is, a message from Jim.

    [Reading from newspaper]

    Roberta: "Desperately seeking Susan. Meet me, four o'clock, Battery Park. Keep the faith. Love, Jim."

    Leslie: Jim? Susan? Do you know these people?

    Roberta: They send messages through the personal ads, that's how they hook up. Last year she was in Mexico City, then Los Angeles, now New York. Desperate. I love that word.

    Leslie: Everybody I know is desperate, except for you.

    Roberta: I'm desperate.

    Leslie: Ha!

    Roberta: Well, sort of.

  • Jason Fryman: Look, we really wanna have a kid.

    Julie Keller: Yeah.

    Jason Fryman: We just don't want to subject that kid to our tragic marriage.

    Leslie: Our tragic marriage?

    Jason Fryman: No, OUR

    [indicating Julie and himself]

    Jason Fryman: tragic marriage.

    Julie Keller: The one we would have.

    Jason Fryman: Us.

    Julie Keller: I mean see, we-we, um, we just, you know we don't wanna fall in-in the trap that most of our friends have...

    [realises that she is saying the right thing in front of the wrong persons]

  • Leslie: Love is not negotiable.

    Christopher: Oh, baby, everything is negotiable!

    Leslie: Love is not negotiable. No, not love. Love is a guessing game. And that's the beauty of it, there's no guarantees. It's like diving into a pool of water without knowing if it's shallow or deep. Sure, right, if it's shallow you end up hurt and paralyzed from the neck down. But if it's deep... it's a leap of faith. It's like throwing yourself out there without any guarantees. And that's what life's about!

    [exhales forcefully]

    Leslie: Okay, you know those carnival games, right? And you know how some of them are really hard to win and some of them are super easy and everyone wins?

    Christopher: Sure.

    Leslie: Well, it's just that that's the difference between love and sex. Sex is the game where everyone wins a little prize and no one goes home a loser. And... love is the game that's really hard to win.

    [pause]

    Leslie: But if you do and you get to take home that life-sized stuffed rhinoceros, it feels a whole lot better than taking home that shitty little plastic key chain.

  • Leslie: *God*, if only your dick was as big as your ego.

    Christopher: If it was, I wouldn't be able to walk around,

    [chuckles]

    Christopher: and neither would you for that matter.

  • [first lines]

    Leslie: Oh, god, oh.

    Christopher: Ease, ease, easy, easy. Cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp. Fucking top five. That was... fucking top five.

    Leslie: So what are you saying? Are you saying women have it easier than men?

    Christopher: Look, all I'm saying is that you guys, women, have one certain luxury that us men just do not have.

  • Mike: Smoking's bad for your health.

    Leslie: I have to have a cigarette, and I have to have one now!

    Mike: [rubs her leg] Are you for real? Can't you think of anything you'd rather have.

    Leslie: [shoves him away] No!

  • Mike: You always get your way don't you?

    Leslie: When I'm happy, everybody's happy.

    Mike: That's for sure... hand me my badge, would ya?

    Leslie: What's the magic word?

    Mike: Hand me my badge... please

    [she hands him the badge]

    Mike: Thank you.

    Leslie: Oh, Mike...

    Mike: What?

    Leslie: [flashes him] Hurry back.

    Mike: Count on it.

  • Leslie: Maybe not everything is supposed to last forever. Certain things are like... like... skywriting. Like, like, like a really beautiful thing that lasts for a couple moments and then... You know?

    Gabe: [cries] Mommy!

    Leslie: I know, honey. Love sucks.

    Gabe: Yeah.

  • Leslie: I didn't know you were having a play date, or I wouldn't have made plans. Should I stay?

    Gabe: It's not a play date, mom, it's practice.

  • Leslie: Hey you're looking sharp there tiger.

  • Leslie: You want to or should i?

  • Adam: Did you drink my Pepsi?

    Leslie: It had my name on it.

    Adam: It was my Pepsi.

  • Adam: Our little boy's growing up huh?

    Leslie: Yeah he is.

  • Patrick: I couldn't do it.

    Leslie: See I told you he was gonna start some shit.

    Anne: You couldn't do it?

    Patrick: I need material.

    Anne: They don't have material?

    Patrick: Well the whole "Hustler" ouvre isn't exactly helping my cause right now.

    Howie: Oh my God it's embarrassing to even be seen in here! You owe me so big for this hag! You know my issues with buying porno.

    Leslie: Hurry up!

  • Leslie: You see, I told you we should've just drugged him and jerked him off.

    Patrick: Drugged me and... is this the woman that you want to become a mother with?

    Anne: She's serious, too.

  • Patrick: I thought you didn't eat meat.

    Leslie: Only on Fridays.

  • Leslie: Ugh, what's that smell?

    Janet: We're in a dumpster.

  • Leslie: Oh, you brave, brave man!

    Sherlock Holmes: Danger is my trade - but not yours. It's unsafe for you to sleep alone tonight, unattended.

    Dr. Watson: Yes, we insist you stay with us.

    Leslie: Oh, but, but surely I'd be an imposition.

    Sherlock Holmes: Think nothing of it, my dear.

    Dr. Watson: Indeed. Holmes will be working... all night anyway, so you can have his room.

  • Watson: Holmes believes your father has been abducted.

    Leslie: Abducted? By who?

    Sherlock Holmes: Abductors

  • Leslie: [waking up after being knocked cold] Oh, my head...

    Mrs. Hudson: It's all right, dear. It's still there.

  • Leslie: Do you want the tent?

  • Leslie: Is that the one with vomit in it?

  • Leslie: Rupert Marshetta, where have you been all year?

    Rupert: The Bahamas, what does it look like?

    Leslie: Well, you can't come in here unless you're dressed from Dallas or Dynasty.

  • Leslie: I can't say I love being called Les.

    Mary: I know what you're saying there. I can't stand it when people call me Mar. It's, like, what am I? Am I a horse? Am I some kind of horse? Like a pony?

  • Leslie: With all my heart, I still love the man I killed.

  • Leslie: [shouting madly while her skin blisters away from her face] Open up that door, you bitch! Let me in, LET ME IN!

    [Michelle tearfully turns and walks away]

    Leslie: No no no no, NO! NO!

  • Alec: You cannot have the Pretenders' first album! That's mine.

    Leslie: I bought it.

    Alec: You did not! You can have all the Billy Joels... except The Stranger.

    Leslie: I'm taking Thriller and Mahler's ninth.

    Alec: Kevin is so fond of Mahler.

    Leslie: I moved in with Jules.

    Alec: Oh how nice, roomies again... No Springsteen is leaving this house! You can have all the Carly Simons.

    Leslie: You got me those for Valentine's Day. Remember, they're used to be Valentine's Day here, Remember?

    Alec: You ran out on this relationship. You take the consequences.

    Leslie: I didn't run out on anything. You ran out.

    Alec: You fucked Kevin.

    Leslie: You fucked many!

    Alec: Nameless, faceless many!

    Leslie: I feel much better now, thanks.

    Alec: You're not taking The Police.

    Leslie: Anyway, I didn't just fuck Kevin! I was confused and angry, and I care about him deeply.

    Alec: Get your clothes, give me the keys and get out! Now!

    Leslie: I can't believe this is happening to us.

    Alec: Wasted love!

    [Throws football, across the room]

    Alec: God, I just wish I could get it back!

  • Leslie: How's Howie?

    Wendy: Oh well, I wouldn't say my father's trying to bribe me, but he did offer me a Chrysler Lebaron convertible if I get engaged to Howie.

    Jules: Have you fucked him yet?

    Wendy: Jules!... God.

    Jules: Listen... get the car, fuck him, and if you don't like him, break the engagement... And then you can still fuck him.

  • Kevin: Well, you're all I think about.

    Leslie: Me?

    Kevin: And I think the reason I'm not interested in other women, and why I haven't had sex in so long, is because I'm desperately, completely in love with you.

  • Leslie: Men... Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em.

  • Leslie: I'm sorry, to bother you, here.

    Alec: Did you forget, one of your albums?

    Leslie: [Didn't answer, Alec's question] It's Jules. After she left, for work this morning, some finance company came. They took away her furniture, her Jeep, everything. I tried to reach her but, I couldn't get through so, I went into her office. She's been pretending, to go to work every day, telling me she still, has an affair with her boss. Alec, he fired her three weeks ago. So, I confronted her, at first she denied everything and, she went crazy. She locked me out of the apartment, and she won't let me back in. Alec please, I need your help.

  • Alec: You ran out on this relationship, you take the consequences.

    Leslie: I didn't run out on anything. You ran out.

    Alec: You fucked Kevin.

    Leslie: [shouting] You fucked many!

    Alec: Nameless, faceless many.

    Leslie: I feel much better now. Thanks.

  • Leslie: Alec is becoming a Republican... and he wants to get *married!* Oh, my God!

    Jules: I always *knew* he was a Republican!

  • Penny: You're going to surf in that?

    Leslie: No, I'm gonna surf in my da-na-da-na

    Penny: Your what?

    [Leslie whips off towel]

    Leslie: Da na da na!

    Penny: You're wearing nut-huggers!

  • Leslie: Sometimes your rhythm's off, you read the person right but still do the wrong thing.

    Elizabeth: Because you trust them?

    Leslie: Because you can't even trust yourself.

  • Leslie: You're hopeless...

    Elizabeth: You're hopeless too!

  • Jimmy: [to Michael] Gotta tell you my kids love it here. Christopher's in your old room and Leslie here is in Ryne's.

    [turns to Leslie]

    Jimmy: Say hello to your cousin.

    Michael: [to Leslie, when she doesn't say anything] You're short.

    Jimmy: [to Michael] Yeah guest room's upstairs, second door on the right, but I guess you know that because uh this is your home.

    Leslie: Uncle Charlie said it's our home now.

    Jimmy: You're right honey, it is our home now. But um, Michael grew up here so... it's his home, too.

    Leslie: But it's our home.

    Jimmy: [picks Leslie up] What do you say we go catch some more of that ball game, huh?

    [to Michael as he starts walking]

    Jimmy: If you need anything let me know.

    Michael: Okay.

    Jimmy: [stops and turns back to Michael] Hey this... this is great, you know... It's good to...

    Michael: Yeah you too.

    [Mouths to Leslie after Jimmy turns back around]

    Michael: It's MY home.

  • Leslie: Friends are just people who haven't fucked you over yet.

  • [after Sarah brings Leslie to dinner to meet Marcus, a big argument ensues between Marcus and David about why Marcus left home, bringing Leslie to tears as she leaves the dining table]

    Leslie: Sarah: Where are you going? Leslie: I'm going to call my Mother!

  • Leslie: What was that pill you gave to Julie?

    Carol: Demerol. She's gonna get so messed up, she won't know what's goin' on. So what's the deal?

    Leslie: [Becomes sympathetic] Well, I don't like it.

    Carol: [Appalled by Leslie's comment] So?

    Leslie: So, I just don't like it!

    Carol: Then, you're not coming?

    Leslie: I don't know!

    Carol: You know, I oughta pull over right now and let you out!

    Leslie: Yeah, why don't you?

    Carol: [Pulls over to the side of the tunnel and stops the car] Kitty, open the door and let this turkey out!

    Leslie: So what, you're really gonna let me out here, huh?

    Carol: You named it, you claimed it.

    [Leslie is appalled by Carol's order and orders Kitty]

    Carol: Open the door!

    [Kitty opens the door, and Leslie gets out of the car]

    Leslie: What, Kitty, you're going with her, huh?

    Carol: She sure as Hell is! She's a REAL Sister!

    [to Kitty]

    Carol: Come on, Kitty, shut the door. We're outta here.

    [Leslie and Kitty exchange concerned looks, and Kitty complies by closing the door. Leslie watches Carol's car speed off and walks off]

  • Steve: [Leslie keeps walking and Steve stops her, asking her where the Mausoleum is] Okay, Leslie, come on.

    Leslie: What do you mean, 'come on'?

    Steve: Well, you're gonna show me where it is.

    Leslie: No! No way! I'm not going in that place! If you wanna go, YOU go, Hugo!

    Steve: Thanks a lot. Those guys are in a lot of trouble now.

    [Steve revs off to the Mausoleum and Leslie continues to walk home]

  • Kitty: Let's book up!

    Leslie: What's the big rush?

    Carol: I wanna get there before it closes, nerdle brain!

    Leslie: Nerdle brain; very nice.

  • Leslie: God you scared me.

    Gary: Who were you expecting? The Phantom of the Opera?

  • Leslie: These are all elements of witchcraft. There is a common denominator in all the mystery cults.

  • Leslie: He's nothing but a vulgar opportunist!

  • Leslie: You're much too nice to turn me out.

    Logan: Nice! My dear young lady, you don't know me. The trouble with me is that I'm weak. A charming young girl like you can put anything over on me in five minutes. But at least I know my weakness, so I force myself to be rude. Sometimes even brutal!

    [Leslie starts backing Logan into a corner]

    Leslie: You do like talking about yourself, don't you?

    Logan: Why... yes... most men do. But at least they know the truth about themselves. Women don't. They only know the truth about each other.

  • Logan: Because of my profession I happen to be able to know what lies behind those dear deceiving lips...

    Leslie: Oh - you're a dentist?

    Logan: No! I'm a barrister!

  • Logan: That's just what I was thinking when you came busting in.

    Leslie: I didn't bust, I crept.

    Logan: Oh, may I ask when you propose to creep out again?

  • Logan: Do you mind telling me this morning what your name is?

    Leslie: Leslie.

    Logan: What Leslie?

    Leslie: What do you mean, what Leslie? Leslie's my Christian name.

    Logan: Oh, I say... odd.

    Leslie: What's yours?

    Logan: ...Everard.

    [Pausing and mumbling quietly]

    Leslie: What?

    Logan: Everard!

    Leslie: ...Incredible.

  • Leslie: By the way, what is your last name?

    Logan: Logan.

    Leslie: Lo-gan.

    Logan: No, not Lo-gan. It's not Chinese. Logan!

  • Leslie: Good morning, grandpa.

    Lord Steele: Is it? Where have you been?

    Leslie: Hasn't Jeffries told you?

    Jefferies: I most certainly did tell you. You know perfectly well there was a fog last night and Miss Leslie spent the night at the Royal Parks Hotel.

    Lord Steele: Her father and mother are in India, and I'm responsible for her.

    Jefferies: So am I.

    Lord Steele: You? I'm her grandfather.

    Jefferies: Seems I know her better.

  • Logan: What am I doing, standing here, kissing you...

    Leslie: And doing it very well, if I may say so.

    Logan: ...when your husband is in there, and his solicitor, and...

  • Logan: I adore you. Do you love me?

    Leslie: I like you.

    Logan: Is that all?

    Leslie: I'm very fond of you.

    Logan: That's not enough.

    Leslie: I have interest in you.

    Logan: That's still not enough.

  • Leslie: But aren't you being a little cynical grandpa?

    Lord Steele: I don't think so. And every day I learn things about which even the cleverest grandchildren know nothing at all.

    Leslie: But you don't mean that he might prefer a bad woman to a...

    Lord Steele: Very often... and so do you.

    Leslie: Me?

    Lord Steele: Certainly! What made you play the woman with the past? Because you felt you could wear your imaginary adventures like an alluring costume, didn't you? Things in the past - they were a great success. The danger is that when the costume falls off, the young man may look at you and wonder whatever on earth he saw in such an innocent slip of a girl.

    Leslie: Grandad, what should I do? I love the brute so much.

  • Leslie: And what do you think he said about women?

    Lady Mere: Could have been anything.

    Leslie: He said we were merciless, stupid, brainless and hopeless.

    Lady Mere: You know, he's not very far wrong? Anything else?

    Leslie: Yes. He said we spend half our time wondering what part of our bodies to paint next.

    Lady Mere: Oh, well, now my dear, that is a lie.

    [as she's getting her toenails painted]

  • Leslie: [At the fox hunt at Mere Hall] Who's the man she's talking to?

    Lord Mere: By gad, it's that cad, Limmet.

    Leslie: Well, why a cad?

    Lord Mere: Awful fella. Shoots foxes all the time and rides over hounds half the winter.

    Leslie: And what does he do with his spare time?

    Lord Mere: Makes love to other fellow's wives. But if he thinks he's got a chance with Clare, he's barking up the wrong tree.

    [Switch to Lady Mere telling Limmet she'll meet him somewhere]

  • Leslie: He left no address?

    Slade: None!

    Leslie: Didn't he say when he was coming back?

    Slade: Yes... never!

    Leslie: Well, what about his work?

    Slade: Chuck it! And he had a case of a lifetime coming on next week.

    Leslie: What's that?

    Slade: The Strangeways divorce. Four correspondents.

  • Sassafras: Did you ever consider non-monogamy?

    Leslie: For me, it's all a matter of bubblegum ice cream. I only like one flavor on my cone & when the ice cream's gone, you still got gum to chew & gum lasts forever, even if you swallow it by accident.

    Sassafras: How do you ignore the whole candy store?

    Leslie: A natural aversion to decision making.

    Sassafras: I guess I just must be a radical girl.

    Leslie: Radical? Try committing yourself to one person for the rest of your life! If that's not extreme I don't know what is.

  • Billy: [about Heaven] What's it like there?

    Leslie: Well, I made a little storybook for you. It doesn't have any pictures and it doesn't have any words, but it's the most wonderful story in the whole world.

    Billy: How can it be any, a good story if it doesn't have any pictures?

    Leslie: Let's see how it ends first. This gold page tells us all about Heaven. It's God's home, filled with brightness and glory. The Bible says that Heaven has streets made of pure gold like glass. No one is ever sick and no one dies and everybody's happy.

    Billy: Does everybody go there?

    Leslie: Well, God would like everybody to go there but there's one thing that can never be in Heaven.

    Billy: What's that?

    Leslie: Sin.

    Billy: Sin? What's sin?

    Leslie: It's when you and I do things our way instead of God's way. It's doing, thinking or saying bad things, anything that makes God unhappy. That's what this black page reminds us of; sin in our lives. When it's dark we stumble and can't find our way. And sin, Billy, is what separates us from God.

    Billy: What's on the next page?

    Leslie: This red page shows us the way God made for you and me to have our sins forgiven, or taken away. God sent His son Jesus from Heaven to take our punishment for sin. Wicked men nailed Jesus to a cross, and God put all our sins on Him.

    Billy: You mean all our naughty stuff?

    Leslie: That's right, our lies, our meanness. And the Bible it says the blood of Jesus is what cleanses us from sin.

    Billy: What color's the next page?

    Leslie: The next page is white. You know what that means?

    Billy: No.

    Leslie: It means we can be made cleaned from our sin.

    Billy: You mean everybody; my mom, me and David?

    Leslie: If they believe that Jesus died for them, they can.

  • Kathy: How'd you get that uniform?

    David Michaels: Somewhere out there, ladies, lies a soldier in the mud, his only earthly possessions being his government issued underwear, and his RFD code in his right hand.

    Leslie: Did you kill him?

    David Michaels: I'm not sure. If I did, it was self defense.

  • Kathy: But I went to church, I even taught Sunday school.

    Leslie: I know. I worked with handicapped kids. And all that's alright, but when we say 'I', 'I did this' and 'I did that' like I did. It proves we left out the only thing that really matters.

    Kathy: What's that?

    David Michaels: Jesus Christ.

    Leslie: That's right. You and I and millions of others like us tried to work our way to Heaven our way.

    David Michaels: Jesus said in John 14:6 "I am the way, the truth and the Life, and no man cometh to the Father, but by Me."

    Leslie: The Bible says it's a gift.

    Kathy: What's a gift?

    Leslie: Eternal life.

  • Tommy: Oh yeah, I almost forgot, who am I next Saturday?

    Leslie: Your Evel Knievel.

    Tommy: And who are you gonna be?

    Leslie: The Grand Canyon.

    Tommy: [after shutting the door] You sure are.

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Characters on Jue di tao wang (2016)