Les Quotes in Bring It On (2000)

[first lines]

Big Red: I'm sexy, I'm cute, / I'm popular to boot.

Big Red, Whitney, Courtney, Darcy, Carver, Kasey, Torrance Shipman: I'm bitchin', great hair, / The boys all love to stare, / I'm wanted, I'm hot, / I'm everything you're not, / I'm pretty, I'm cool, / I dominate this school, / Who am I? Just guess, / Guys wanna touch my chest, / I'm rockin', I smile, / And many think I'm vile, / I'm flyin', I jump, / You can look but don't you hump, / Whoo / I'm major, I roar, / I swear I'm not a whore, / We cheer and we lead, / We act like we're on speed, / Hate us 'cause we're beautiful, / Well we don't like you either, / We're cheerleaders, / We are cheerleaders. /Roll call...

Big Red: Call me Big Red.

Whitney: I'm W-W-Whitney.

Courtney: C-C-C-C-Courtney.

[Courtney makes cat snarl]

Darcy: Dude, it's Darcy.

Carver: I'm big bad Carver. Yeah!

Kasey: Just call me Kasey!

Big Red: I'm... still Big Red, / I sizzle, I scorch, / But now I pass the torch, / The ballots are in, / And one girl has to win, / She's perky, she's fun, / And now she's number one, / K-K-Kick it Torrance, / T-T-T-Torrance!

Torrance Shipman: I'm strong and I'm loud, / I'm gonna make you proud, / I'm T-T-T-Torrance, / Your captain Torrance.

Whitney, Courtney, Darcy, Carver, Kasey, Torrance Shipman, Jan, Les: Let's go Toros. /We are the Toros, / The Mighty Mighty Toros, / We're so terrific, / We must be Toros.

Jan: You know, all the cheerleaders in the world wouldn't help our football team.

Les: It's just wrong. Cheering for them is just plain mean!

Les: You know, everyone's saying that your ambition broke Carver's leg.

Torrance Shipman: When really it was the angle in which she slammed into the ground.

Les: Kasey did a massive e-mail last night, misspelled "leg".

Torrance Shipman: Shut up!

Les: Two G's.

Cheerleaders: [Cheerleaders from opposing team] Hey, Toros! / That's right / The red black and white / Guess What / Guess What / You really SUCK!

Torrance Shipman: Hey...

Torrance Shipman, Courtney, Whitney, Kasey, Darcy, Missy, Jan, Les: That's all right. That's OK! / You're gonna pump our gas someday! / That's all right. That's OK! / You're gonna pump our gas someday!

Les: [Their first practice after the long summer] Pinch some panties, someone's slacking!

Jan: [to Courtney, who they're holding] Do I look like a milkmaid 'cause somebody feels like a cow!

Toros Quarterback: Whoa! Sexy Leslie and Jan-Jan the cheerleading man!

Toros Tight End: Hey fags!

Les: What? Just because we won more trophies than you guys is no reason for you to get all... malignant.

Toros Quarterback: [grabbing his balls] Malignant *this*, tool!

Toros Tight End: [high-fiving the quarterback and laughs] Nice!

Jan: One of these days man...

Les: Let it go! They've never even won a single game! You gotta be kinda rough on them.

[calling out to Les]

Les: Besides, they're dicks!

Missy: What is your sexuality?

Les: Well, Jan's straight, and I'm... controversial.

Missy: Are you trying to tell me you speak fag?

Les: Oh, fluently.

[Punches Austin]

Jake: That's for taking Janie to the prom.

Priscilla: You put the...

[Jake punches her]

Jake: That's for hurting Janie at Preston's party.

Les: [Filming] This is really turning me on.

[Jake punches him]

Jake: That's for... being really weird.

[Starts to leave, turns and punches Les' floating bag]

Jake: I don't know what that was for.

Les: I'm not ordinary.

Les: [after falling for Dorothy, he discovers she's a man] Why'd you do it?

Michael Dorsey: I needed the work.

Les: The only reason you're still breathing is because I never kissed you.

Les: Du Jour means seat belts. Du Jour means crash positions!

Les: We tried to warn you... The message on your mirror

Melody: That was you? Dujour was in my bathroom!

Travis: Wyatt, could you maybe talk to Marco about him always doing my face? Remember in the "What?" video, I established the

[Makes face]

Travis: face? Well ever since then, every time you see Marco he's doing the

[Makes face]

Travis: face. And it's mine. You look at him on TRL. "Hey, Carson."

[Makes face]

Travis: You look at him on the Kids Choice Awards. "This is ours, thanks!"

[Makes face]

Travis: And then right here on the cover of Seventeen Magazine. "Hey, little girl. Beauty secrets?"

[Makes face]

Travis: It's my face... it's *my* face.

Marco: Oh, hey, Travis. Am I uh,

[Makes face]

Marco: doing you face,

[Makes face]

Marco: cuz, God forbid, I

[Makes face]

Marco: do your face cuz it's

[Makes face]

Marco: such a god face.

[Does it three more times]

Travis: That's it.

[They get into a fight]

Les: DuJour means friendship!

Wyatt: Thank you, Les! Now listen. Listen to me. When we land, I will call the choreographer, and she will give you a new face.

Marco: Aw, too bad your Mama couldn't give you a good face.

Wyatt: TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!

Marco: I'm sorry, Travis.

Wyatt: Thank you. You can have a new face, too.

Les: I am so dead they're going to have to bury me twice.

Les: No thanks Dad, I already have a Mercedes.

Les: [while chasing the drunk man in the Beatle car] I don't care what you say to the man just get him to pull over.

Charles: The man is a drunken lunatic don't you think this is a little bit dangerous.

Les: Your telling about dangerous, Charles you want to know whats dangerous. Me going home and having to explain to my father that this piece of shit is my Grandfather's Cadillac.

Les' DMV Examiner: Driving instructor: Now Anderson, I want you to take a good look at my cup of coffee. Now, I LOVE my coffee. It's probably the only thing I cherish on this god forsaken mud ball called Earth! What I'm trying to say, Anderson, is that most examiners rely on this clipboard...

[throws the clipboard out the window]

Les' DMV Examiner: I don't believe in that shit. What I do believe is in my cup of coffee. Now this coffee is hot. If it falls on me it'll probably burn me, right? Speak up, son!

Les: Yes, yes!

Les' DMV Examiner: And nobody likes to get burned, now do they?

Les: No, no!

Les' DMV Examiner: So it's simple: You burn me, you fail. You don't, you pass.

Les: An innocent girl, a harmless drive. What could possibly go wrong?

Les' DMV Examiner: Last name first, first name last!

Les: Uh... Anderson... Les Anderson.

Les' DMV Examiner: Buckle up, son, it's the real world out here!

Tow Truck Driver: [while Les is on the hood of the truck] Son I driven with deer, elk, and even bears strapped to the hood of this truck. So no 65 pound sack of shit is gonna shake me a hell a differnce.

Les: Listen mister I'll give you everything I got.

Tow Truck Driver: [driver stops and Les goes flying off the hood] Just how much you talking.

Les: Hey dad, did you take a look at that brochure I gave you?

Mr. Anderson: Yeah.

Les: And what did you think?

Mr. Anderson: A 23,000 dollar BMW for a kid who hasn't had a job in his life... I think it's a great idea!

Les: I'm a free man!

Les: While taking his license test, Les halts on a hill top, as instructed and the car behind him honks...

Les' DMV Examiner: What are you waiting for son, Christmas?

Les: Les jams the breaks in order to prevent an accident and looks over at the instructor whose coffee cup lands in his crotch...

Les' DMV Examiner: You're in luck son... the cup... was empty...!

Les: I'm with her!

Club Doorman: Boy, you wouldn't be with her if she was your Siamese twin. Now get lost.

Les: Not too bad for a kid without his license, huh?

Les: Come on now, Scott, Tina's waiting.

Scott: You're all so scared, you wouldn't know what you thought!

Terry: [to Les] Look, is he dancing with Tina or not?

Scott: [to Tina] I'm sorry, Tina, I'm not available.

Les: So you got any New Year resolutions, Princess Di?

Diane: Yes.

Les: What are they?

Diane: To stop dating my dealer.

Les: Now why would you do that? With me you get the whole package: sex and drugs.

Jude: What did you mean when you said you were here to kidnap me?

Les: I'm rescuing you. Taking you to the Big Apple.

Jude: And why would I go with you?

Les: I'm offering you Manhattan, champ. Don't play hard to get.

Les: You know what I'd like to know is what my girlfriend's daughter and my son and some weird Hare Krishna dude are all doing together.

Jude: We're just friends, okay?

Les: No, I'm not judging. I mean, I met your mother at an orgy.

Les: [Talking to Diane and Eliza] Okay, listen, you two are peas in a pod, all right? You know why she doesn't tell you anything, Diane? Because you try to control every situation you get your hands on. And you know why she does that? Cause you are totally out of control.

Les: Why don't you just try playing it all a little bit by ear, you know?

Eliza: Is that what you do, Les? You just play it all by ear?

Les: Yeah, I find it's the best organ to play by. I mean, I have been accused of playing by another, but...

Beano: [Playing a game to name bands with parts of the body as part of their name] Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show!

Clare: Objection, your honor!

Hughie: Objection sustained.

Beano: Well, some people 'ave hooks instead of hands.

Les: Yeah, but it's not part of the body; it's not... anotomical.

Beano: It is if you haven't got a fuckin' hand!

Les: [pointing to at the girls T-Shirt] Where did you get that T-Shirt

Beano: Looks like '77's been through the wash a few times

Dutch Lady: 'Tis my father's, he say best band he ever saw.

Les: Oh.

Dutch Lady: My father, he died.

Beano: Oh.

Les: Oh... That's a shitter.

Ray Simms: It's another sign, Brian sent them.

Ray Simms: When the icy waters closed in over me, I saw Brian

Les: Do you know what he was wearing

Ray Simms: I, I don't recall

Les: Why do they always assume the singer is the voice of the band?

[as journalists swarm Ray Simms and ignore the other members]

Les: Like the t-shirt. What's that mean?

Ray Simms: It's a Zen quotation.

Les: Is it?

Beano: I thought it was Japanese for Calvin Klein.

Hughie: Hope this isn't another Sunderland!

[speaking of Ray's mood swings]

Luke Shand: What happened at Sunderland?

Beano: He tried to slash his wrists with my Swiss Army knife.

Les: Yeah, he'd never find the blade.

Les: Hey, it's supposed to be rock and roll, man, not The Phantom of The Fuckin' Opera!

[reacting to Ray's prima donna ego]

Beano: What do you think then, Luke?

Luke Shand: I thought we were shit, guys.

Les: Kill that racket, Hughie.

Beano: Come again?

Luke Shand: We were totally crap, I mean, especially on 'Heartbreaker'. I think we should dump that altogether.

Tony Costello: It's a classic!

Luke Shand: Well, maybe we should agree on what key it's in.

Les: B-flat.

Ray Simms: C.

Tony Costello: G.

Ron: You're not gonna tell Nicki, are you?

Les: No, but you should.

Ron: I'm not going to.

Les: Damn I surprised! You always seem like a coward to me.

Les: And these... these... these really work?

Dr. Dobson: Our results have been remarkably promising.

Les: [voice-over] I once read about a monster called the Extracator, that lived off people's souls. Only, the thing was, the Extracator ate a person's soul in their sleep over a 16 year period. Like it would nibble off a crumb every night, until there wasn't anything left. So a person had no way to realize what was going on. They just had this vague sense that something was slowly disappearing.

Les: [voice-over] I'm not looking forward to returning to my old life; but, the truth is, with so many billions and billions of people on the planet, most of us can't be unique or important in any meaningful way. We go to sleep, we wake up, we go to work, we eat, we spend time with friends, we watch TV, maybe we even fall in love, but we don't have any magical powers and we don't have any great battles to fight, no evil forces to defeat, and no mysterious men in suits chasing after us. We just have reality - and believing anything else is just... well, believing anything else is just crazy, isn't it?

[first lines]

Les: [voice-over] I used to dream about flying. It went the same way every night. I realized that I could fly. No that's not quite right, I realized that there was no reason I *couldn't* fly, and after that I'd float off the ground and soar above the city. But I haven't had that dream in a while now. Lately, I dream about more ordinary things, like doing my laundry, or shopping for groceries, or riding on elevators. I wonder why that is?

Les: [quoting the department mantra] I'm important, and I keep the city running.

Steve: Good. Now, repeat.

Les: I'm important, I'm important, I'm important.

Les: [has just run full-speed into a wall] I'm, uh, I'm not like most people.

Cop #1: Yeah, I can see that.

Les: Your force field is good; my teleporting is better.

Les: [voice-over] Most people never stop to think about the problems associated with being a superhero. Instead they tend to focus on the more glamorous aspects of our lives. They focus on the powers we have, the things we can do that no one else can. But the unfortunate truth is that, while being different from everyone else can be exciting at first, ultimately it can get a little lonely.

[last lines]

Les: [repeatedly] You can't make me stop.

Les: [as Future Les] These are the men that convince the police that you did something wrong.

Les: Of course.

Jonas Exiler: Les. Earth to Les.

Les: [as Future Les] They designed the drug to build an army of unstoppable assassins. If you won't work for them, they'll try to strip you of your powers, or worse.

Les: They must've... they must've already got to you.

Joey: Who got to us, Les?

Les: The suits. The suits. They know that you're my friends, so they must have put you in some sort of mind shield so that you can't see my powers. Mmm, it's genius.

Les: I know exactly what kind of man you are. I've been dealing with guys like you my whole life. You think you're so much more important than everyone else, that you can do whatever you want to whoever you want. Who do you think would care if YOU disappeared? Who would care about that, huh? Who would care about that, huh? Do you think that anyone would actually care if YOU disappeared?

Jonas Exiler: [beating Les with a 2x4] You're a worthless piece of shit - SAY IT!

Les: [whack] Ow!

Jonas Exiler: YOU'RE A NOBODY!

Les: I'm a worthless...

Jonas Exiler: [whack] YOU'RE A NOBODY!

Les: Ohh...

Les: [whack] Oh! I'm a nobody.

Jonas Exiler: YOU'RE NOTHING!

Les: [whack] AW!

Les: [whack] Oh!

Jonas Exiler: [whack] YOU'RE NOTHING!

Les: I'm nothing. I'm nothing.

Jonas Exiler: You're a worthless piece of SHIT!

Les: [whack] Yeow! I'm a worthless piece of shit.

Les: [whack] Ow! I'm a worthless piece of shit. Ow.

Les: [whack] Oww! Stop it. Ow.

Jonas Exiler: [as Les sobs from the pain] I swear, if I ever see you again, if I ever hear from you again, you're a dead man, a fucking dead man.

Les: [voice-over] It turns out that being a superhero is like many other things in life: when you want to avoid it, crime seems like it's everywhere, but when you're lookin' for it, crime is nowhere to be found. That's why you have to learn to always trust your instincts.

Diana St. Clair: As soon as I domesticate you - get you housebroken - you'll be the best husband a girl ever had.

Mike McCoy: Husband?

Les: [clangs her cymbals to interrupt the conversation] Over my dead body!

Larry: [as Mike test drives Foxhugh's Fox 5 car on the racetrack] Sure knows how to handle that car!

Les: Well, best driver on any track!

Howard Foxhugh: Yeah, it looks like your plan worked.

Les: Yeah!

Howard Foxhugh: You seem pretty anxious to have Mike drive for me.

Les: Oh, yeah, well the prize money is good.

Larry: You see, Mr. Foxhugh, if we keep him busy driving, he won't have any time for your kid.

[Les kicks Larry in the leg]

Larry: Ow! Hey what did you kick me for?

Howard Foxhugh: Cynthia?

Curly: Yeah, if we don't break this up they're liable to do something terrible like get married.

[Les kicks Curly in the leg]

Curly: Ow! What did you kick me for?

Les: It's nothing to worry about. Cynthia isn't even Mike's type.

Larry: Oh, well sure! Who'd want to marry a gorgeous millionairess?

Curly: Yeah!

Les: Not me.

[Larry and Curly both at once kick Les in the leg. She screams in pain]

Les: Ow! Oh! Ow! Oh!

Les: [as Lt. Richards enters her kitchen through the back door] What? Is this a raid?

Lt. Tracy Richards: Yeah, reach for the ceiling! Now turn around.

[When she complies, he slaps her derriere]

Lt. Tracy Richards: I just wanted to see if you packed a gun.

Curly: Wow! That was some book!

Les: I saw the movie, and it was dirty!

Joe Head: Who's Disco Bean? He's one of the greatest disco dancers around. I can introduce you to him, he's a friend of mine.

Les: Isn't disco suppose to be dead?

Joe Head: He died? Nobody told me nothin'.

[first lines]

[Nick pulls his truck up to Beulah's Star Ice Castle Lanes, or, depending on how you read the marquee sign, Beulah's Ice Castle Star Lanes]

Nick Peterson: Hey, Charlie.

Charlie: Hi, Nick.

Nick Peterson: How ya doin'?

Charlie: Beats the hell out of me. Hey, what are *you* doin' home?

Nick Peterson: Beats the hell out of me.

Charlie: Hey, Beulah, rack 'em up! Come on!

Nick Peterson: Howdy, Les.

Les: Hey! Nick, what the hell are *you* doin' here?

Nick Peterson: Beats the hell out of me.

[Nick peers around a corner to watch Lexie being trained in ice-skating by Beulah, who is shouting out instructions about Lexie keeping her head up and so forth, and telling her she isn't doing well enough. Lexie spots Nick and runs over on her skates]

Alexis Winston: Nick! Wow!

Nick Peterson: [grabbing her into a hug and allowing her to spin him around] Ohhh.

Beulah Smith: Hey, that was the fastest pre-med course in history!

[Nick hugs Beulah while still hugging Lexie]

Beulah Smith: What are you doing home?

Nick Peterson: I couldn't stay away from my girls.

Les: Wait a minute. Hold it. Hold it. Cool it, fellas. Adam, you know... you know I'm sick of you bustin' your own roof. You know something? You came late. You're stoned. I can smell it all over the bandstand. You're evil with all the cats. Look, why don't you go out there and play real pretty for the people, huh? Well, that's it. You got it. I'm gonna split.

Adam Johnson: Hey, wait a minute, man. Let me tell you something. You don't leave. I leave. You know what that sign says out there? It says 'Adam Johnson' not 'Blindy.' 'Cause I have had you with me for 10 years. You understand that? 10 long years I've had you with me. You should go on a corner some place and have a tin cup and sell pencils. That's what you should be doing.

[Les and Frank, the Internet pornographers, have approached and solicited Tanya in the cafe]

Les: Yeah? Gorgeous cheekbones... yeah, gorgeous cheekbones, they're fantastic. So, anyhow, what I was going to do, I don't want to take up too much of your time. But, there's my card.

Tanya: Yes.

Les: Ok? And, uhh, you know, if you're interested, give me call. But, if there's anything else I can do, let me... I am Mr. Stonehaven. Everybody knows me around here, so, if you need me, call me. There's my card. All right? Hope to see you soon. Bye.

Frank: Bye.

Les: See ya, mate. Let's go, Frank.

[Les and Frank leave]

Artyom: Ty khot' ponyala, chto oni sutenery i chego oni khotyat? (You do realize they're pimps, and what they want?)

[Needing money, Tanya has gone to see Les and Frank, the Internet pornographers]

Les: Ok, Tanya. Just give me a little twirl, just turn around. Yeah, and just un... unzip, and give me a flash. Mmmm... See, I see her as like a school girl, or... or maybe a nurse. She's sort of got that caring quality about her.

Frank: Bit skinny up top, Les.

Les: Or a nun.

Frank: A nun? Yeah, a nun would be good.

Tanya: But, what do I do?