Leo Spitz Quotes in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

Skids, Mudflap: Yo, Leo!

Leo Spitz: This thing's gonna give me a heart attack, I swear.

Mudflap: That's 'cause you's a wuss.

Leo Spitz: You guys forced me into that car, right? So.

Mudflap: I think he's scared.

Skids: Hey, Mudflap, what are we gonna do with this shrimp taco?

Mudflap: Let's pop a cap in his ass, throw him in the trunk and then nobody gonna know nothing, know what I mean?

Skids: Not in MY trunk!

Leo Spitz: Yo, bumper cars? I'm hearing you, okay? I'm right here and I can hear you! No one's popping any caps in any asses, okay? I've had a HELL of a day!

Mudflap: [mockingly] Boogy-boogy-boogy-boo!

Skids: Why don't you get a haircut with your bitch ass?

Mudflap: Go whine to your boyfriend.

[Leo comes out of bathroom with pants down and trips, accidentally tazers himself in the chest and falls on top of the guard he had just tased]

Agent Simmons: [entering the toilet] What is going on here?

Leo Spitz: [in agony] How many times can you get tazered in the nuts before you can't have kids?

Agent Simmons: You're an amateur, kid, a rank amateur.

Leo Spitz: [about Simmons] You know him?

Sam Witwicky: We're old friends.

Agent Simmons: Old FRIENDS? You are the case that shut down Sector Seven. Now that it disbanded, no security clearance, no retirement, no nothing! All because of you!

[looks at Mikaela]

Agent Simmons: And your little criminal girlfriend. Look at her now, so mature.

[surrounded by Devastator's Constructicon vehicles]

Agent Simmons: You ever see "Gunfight at the O.K. Corral"?

Leo Spitz: No.

Agent Simmons: Starring Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas?

Leo Spitz: No, why?

Agent Simmons: Looks like we're right in the middle of it.

Leo Spitz: Is that good?

Agent Simmons: A lot of people died.

[the Constructicons transform and combine to form Devastator]

Sam Witwicky: Maybe we can help each other. You know things I don't know, I know things you don't know...

Leo Spitz: I don't think he knows what we know.

[Sam carves Cybertronian symbols into the ground with a dagger]

Sam Witwicky: I could do this all day. It comes in waves, these vivid symbols. They're symbols, but they're in my mind. You see, all this is in my mind, and Megatron want what's in my mind, him and someone called the Fallen...

Jetfire: The Fallen? I know him. He left me here to rust! The original Decepticon! He's terrible to work for, it's always apocalyose, chaos, crisis...

[scrutinizes the symbols]

Jetfire: These transcriptions, they were part of my mission! The Fallen's search... I remember now!... for the Dagger's Tip, a-and the Key!

Sam Witwicky: Slow down! The Dagger's Tip? The Key? What are you talking about?

Jetfire: [activating a space bridge] No time to explain! Hold on, everybody! Stay still or you'll die!

[Humans and robots vanish into a flare of light, they all fall in the sand as they arrive in Egypt]

Jetfire: Well, that wasn't so bad. I just hope we're still on the right planet.

Wheelie: [tumbling] Hey, that freaking hurt!

Sam Witwicky: [to Alice and Leo as they enter the room to find he's written in Cybertronian all over the walls] Hey! You ever have a song stuck in your head? Its like the worst song ever, but you cant help but whistle it or sing it cause it repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself. Kitten calendar, kitten calendar, kitten calendar, kitten calendar, kitten calendar, kitten calendar, kitten calendar.

Leo Spitz: Dude, what the eff?

Sam Witwicky: I know you're freaking out. Don't freak out. Don't freak out. Easy fix. Puzzle code in my head. Now it's on the walls. Everything is good.

Leo Spitz: HEY! Who drove a freaking yellow Camaro? There's a car on the porch!

[Sam rushes out to see Bumblebee outside]

Sam Witwicky: What are you doing here?

Bumblebee: [through his radio] "Houston, we have a problem."

[in the middle of the Egyptian desert]

Leo Spitz: [looking around] Hey, I think we're in Vegas!

Agent Simmons: That really, really hurt. You're just lucky that I didn't get hurt! People could have gotten killed, okay? And if I would have gotten hurt, you would have heard...

Jetfire: Oh, shut up! I told you I was opening a space bridge, it's the fastest way to travel to Egypt.

Sam Witwicky: [his hand injured and bandaged] When did you... When did you tell us? You didn't tell us anything. You didn't tell us anything. Why are we in Egypt?

Jetfire: Don't you get snippy with me, fleshling! You were duly informed!

Jetfire: Somewhere buried in this desert, our ancestors built a great machine. It harvests Energon by destroying suns.

Sam Witwicky: Destroy suns?

Leo Spitz: You mean blow them up?

Jetfire: Yes! You see, in the beginning, there were seven Primes, our original leaders. And they set out into the universe, seeking distant suns to harvest. The Primes set out with one rule: never destroy a planet with life. Until one of them tried to defy this rule. And his name was, forevermore, the Fallen...

[projects a hologram and narrates the events seen within]

Jetfire: He despised the human race, and he wanted to kill you all by turning on that machine. The only way to activate it is with a legendary key called the Matrix of Leadership. A great battle took place over the possession of the Matrix. The Fallen was stronger than his brothers, so they had no choice but to steal and hide it from him. In the ultimate sacrifice, they gave their lives to seal the Matrix away in a tomb made of their very own bodies. A tomb we cannot find.

[shuts off the hologram]

Jetfire: Somewhere, buried in this desert, that deadly machine remains. The Fallen knows where it is, and if he finds the Tomb of the Primes, you world will be no more.

Agent Simmons: One man, alone...

Leo Spitz: Stop saying that!

Agent Simmons: ...betrayed by the country he loves...

Leo Spitz: Oh, my goodness, I'm in the car with you. You're not alone.

Jetfire: I have issues of my own, and it started with my mother! My ancestors have been here for centuries! My father, why, he was a wheel! The FIRST wheel! Do you know what he tranformed into?

Agent Simmons: No.

Leo Spitz: What?

Jetfire: NOTHING! But he did so with honour! DIGNITY, damn it!

Skids: Oh, look who came sashaying back.

Mudflap: Hair growing like a Chia Pet, look at him.

Leo Spitz: I had a bit of a mild panic attack earlier, right?

Mudflap: That's 'cause you're a pussy.

Leo Spitz: I think I'm allowed that, considering what I've been through.

[directs attention to Sam]

Leo Spitz: Hey, you say you have in your head? I know someone who can help.

Sam Witwicky: Who?

Leo Spitz: RoboWarrior.

Leo Spitz: That's it! No mas! I'm not going anywhere, all right? And you guys are crazy! You don't even know where you're going! I'm staying! Who's with me, huh?

[no response]

Leo Spitz: Viva la revolution!

Mikaela Banes: Good luck, Leo.

Sam Witwicky: Enjoy the heat!

Agent Simmons: You're better off staying, you're slowing down the mission. I give you twenty minutes before the vultures start pecking at you like lunch meat! Try swallowing your tongue, go out quickly. End it with dignity.

[Everyone gets in the car and leaves]

Leo Spitz: Wait, wait, wait! Don't leave me with this old-ass plane... WAIT!

[runs after the convoy]

Sam Witwicky: You know what this is? This is the awkward moment. Yeah, see, you're trying to see if I'm a normal guy. I'm trying to see if you're a normal guy. Balanced, unmedicated, nothing under the crawl space.

Leo Spitz: Good personal hygiene, won't stab me in my sleep.

Sam Witwicky: No criminal record, won't steal anything.

Leo Spitz: Including girlfriends.

Sam Witwicky: Especially girlfriends.

Leo Spitz: You got a girlfriend?

Sam Witwicky: I do. You?

Leo Spitz: No, not a chance.

Leo Spitz: Dead pigs.

Mikaela Banes: YUCK!

Agent Simmons: What you are about to see is top secret. Do *not* tell my mother!

[Simmons reveals a secret bunker in a meat locker]

Leo Spitz: Swine flu, not good.

Agent Simmons: Now you know: next time you eat a goat or a pig, there's a story behind it, sad little story.

[Leo dials on a cellphone]

Sam Witwicky: What're you doing?

Leo Spitz: Making a call so I can get outta here!

[Sam snatches the phone]

Sam Witwicky: Dude, the government can track us with these!

[breaks the phone]

Leo Spitz: They can track us?

[Sam, Mikaela and Leo are on the run from Decepticons]

Leo Spitz: Okay, so what else don't I know, all right? Since you guys forgot to mention some minor details.

Sam Witwicky: [to Leo] That thing that you saw back there, that was the little baby... WHHOOOAAAA!

[Grindor comes for them]

Leo Spitz: I'm the key to this. The aliens, they want me 'cause of my site.

Leo Spitz: [breaking down during the assault by the Decepticons] Oh, God. Please, God! Please...!

Mikaela Banes: Leo, stop freaking out, stop freaking out.

Agent Simmons: Shut this guy up, huh?

Leo Spitz: Please, just let me live, just let me live!

Mikaela Banes: Shut up and let him drive!

Sam Witwicky: Just stop screaming...

Agent Simmons: All right, that's it!

[tases Leo, rendering him unconscious]

Agent Simmons: I can't take that guy anymore.

Leo Spitz: Okay, I'm just gonna go to the cops, all right? I'm going to tell the truth...

Sam Witwicky: Hey, you wanted this! You wanted the Real Deal? Wake up, you're in the MIDDLE of it! You want to go, nobody's in your way!

[Leo stares at Sam, at a loss of words]

Leo Spitz: Stop complaining!

Leo Spitz: We're trusting old Grandpa Blackbird, who can't even remember which planet he's on?

[at Petra]

Agent Simmons: Well, in his defense, this is the biggest doorway I've seen in my life.

Leo Spitz: All right. Let me do a quick check.

[looks around]

Leo Spitz: Nope! Doesn't look like archeologists have been here, guys?

[Grindor carries a car with Leo, Sam and Mikaela in it towards an abandoned factory, and drops it... ]

Leo Spitz: We're gonna die!

[a Camaro crashes Sam's college party]

Leo Spitz: You have a car, man? That's awesome!

Leo Spitz: [about Mikaela] She can hotwire a car? That's so hot!

[Alice attempts to seduce Sam]

Leo Spitz: Can I just sit and watch? I'll eat my pizza quietly!

Leo Spitz: [to Alice] Hey! I got ya pizza.

Alice: Is Sam around?

Leo Spitz: Uh, he died.