Leo Getz Quotes in Lethal Weapon 2 (1989)

[after receiving the wrong order at the drive-thru]

Leo Getz: They FUCK YOU at the drive-thru, okay? They FUCK YOU at the drive-thru! They know you're gonna be miles away before you find out you got fucked! They know you're not gonna turn around and go back, they don't care. So who gets fucked? Ol' Leo Getz! Okay, sure! I don't give a fuck! I'm not eating this tuna, okay?

Martin Riggs: Police! Open up!

Leo Getz: How do I know it's the police?

Martin Riggs: After I shoot you through the door, you can examine the bullet. Open up!

[after Riggs and Leo have a rude confrontation]

Leo Getz: Oh I get it.

[Points to Riggs then Murtaugh]

Leo Getz: Bad cop, good cop.

Roger Murtaugh: Shut up.

Leo Getz: Oh okay, bad cop, bad cop.

[after the envoys states that Murtaugh can't go to South Africa because he's black]

Roger Murtaugh: Of course I'm black. That's why I want to go to South Africa.

Roger Murtaugh: [louder and more militant] To join my oppressed brothers as they take up the struggle against this racist, fascist, White Minority Regime!

Leo Getz: Racist White Regime!

Roger Murtaugh: One man, one vote!

Leo Getz: One man, one vote!

Roger Murtaugh: [Loudly] Free South Africa you dumb son of a bitch!

Leo Getz: You dumb son of a bitch!

Consulate Envoy: That's quite enough! Get out!

[Security tries to remove Getz and Murtaugh, resuting in a full scale riot inside and outside the Consulate]

Leo Getz: I'm Leo Getz, and whatever you want, Leo gets.

[after falling into a hotel swimming pool]

Martin Riggs: Where were you man? You my partner or what? Why didn't you follow me down?

Leo Getz: Yeah, why didn't you follow him down?

Roger Murtaugh: Shut up! From seven floors up?

[At the South African Consulate]

Roger Murtaugh: How you doin'?

[his handshake is ignored by the Envoy]

Consulate Envoy: I think there must be some mistake.

Roger Murtaugh: Say what?

Consulate Envoy: Listen to your friend here, he knows what he's talking about. I don't think you want to go to South Africa.

Roger Murtaugh: Why not?

Consulate Envoy: Because you're black!

Leo Getz: [to Murtaugh] You are.

[to Envoy]

Leo Getz: He is.

[Leo Getz explaining money laundering]

Leo Getz: Okay, okay, okay, okay, this is the best part okay? You make a tax deduction on interest payments you don't even make! Am I an innovator? Am I a genius?

Martin Riggs: You're a swindler!

Roger Murtaugh: Cheat!

Leo Getz: Everyone cheats a little bit... look at the Pentagon!

Leo Getz: Hey hey hey! Listen, if we're going, shouldn't I have a gun?

Martin Riggs, Roger Murtaugh: NO!

[repeated line]

Leo Getz: Okay!

Leo Getz: Leo Getz, private investigator.

Martin Riggs: [into phone with fake accent] Private investigator? Yes, Mr. Getz, I was just wondering if you'd be willing to investigate my privates.

Leo Getz: Investigate what?

Martin Riggs: My privates, you stupid shit - shut the fuck up!

Leo Getz: Hey Riggs, who's the perp? What did ya bust him for?

Lee Butters: Oh, I'm a perp? You see a young brother in the back of a police car, automatically I'm a perp. Look at my suit, look at my tie. What do I look like, the fuckin' Crip's accountant? Look at this badge, bitch. Check out the gun.

Leo Getz: Whoa, hey hey hey, put the gun down, put the gun down.

Martin Riggs: Oh. *Leo*.

Leo Getz: Hey, Riggs.

Martin Riggs: You want to get yourself shot? Is that it?

Leo Getz: No.

Martin Riggs: What the hell are you doing here?

Leo Getz: I was tailing you

Leo Getz: I'll leave you alone, okay? I mean, I guess you want to be alone

Martin Riggs: Okay,I appreciate it

Leo Getz: You know, when I was a kid, I had a pet frog

Martin Riggs: What?

Leo Getz: Just give me a second. Let me tell you this, okay?

Leo Getz: Uh, I had this pet frog, his name was Froggy. He was my best friend in the whole world. I didn't have a lot of friends. As a matter of fact... okay I had no friends, and uh, I used to kiss the frog, too. I thought maybe, uh, that it would turn into a princess since I was a boy, and uh, it could be my mother. They told me that she left or something, and my father was no bargain, and so just the frog. Froggy was my friend and I really loved him, and I took him everywhere with me, and I was riding on my bike one day and he jumped out of the box, and uh, I ran him over with the back tire. I killed him. I was really heartbroken. Really, he was my best friend in the whole world; the only thing I ever loved. And then I met you and Roger, and you guys really looked after me a lot more then you had to.

Martin Riggs: Geez, we're terrible to you, Leo.

Leo Getz: No no, it's okay, it's okay. You are my family. You are my friends. You are not better friends than Froggy. You're just different, and, uh, I just thought that *maybe* that might be relevant. Okay. I'll leave you alone now.

Leo Getz: They fuck you with cell phones. That's what it is. They're fuckin' you with the cell phone. They love it when you get cut off. Y'know why, huh? You know why? 'Cause when you call back - -which they know you're gonna do. - -they charge you for that fuckin' first minute again at that high rate.

Roger Murtaugh: Since I met Riggs, I've had my house destroyed, my car wrecked, and now my BOAT SUNK. What's left?

Leo Getz: I think that's about it.

Leo Getz: They fuck ya, they fuck ya, they fuck ya.

Leo Getz: Those doctors are savages. I mean, where does it say that a gunshot wound requires a rectal exam?

[Murtaugh rolls his eyes at Riggs]

Leo Getz: Yeah. With a telescope big enough to see Venus!

Martin Riggs: I guess all they saw was Uranus, huh?

Leo Getz: Oh, that's great, Riggs. Ha ha. That's great. Well, you know what I say? They FUCK you at the hospital! First they drug you, then they FUCK you! And when they're done FUCKING you, along comes the insurance company and FUCKS you some more! Ten dollars for a FUCKING aspirin...

Leo Getz: I'm dying Rodge! I'm so cold!

Roger Murtaugh: Leo, you're laying on the ice.

Leo Getz: I am?

Roger Murtaugh: Yeah!

Leo Getz: Hey, guys, guys! You think I could get a gun this time?

Roger Murtaugh, Martin Riggs: NO!