Lenny Haise Quotes in That Thing You Do! (1996)

[during a TV interview with band at the Illinois State Fair]

Lenny Haise: Oh, I'm not here with these fellas. I've got a pig in competition over at the livestock pavilion, and *I* am gonna win that blue ribbon!

Mr. White: It is very important that you don't stink today.

Lenny Haise: Hey, I make no guarantees.

Lenny Haise: So how long have you worked at Play-tone?

Receptionist: How long have you been wearing such tight pants?

Lenny Haise: Hey, if that's a pick-up line we're a match made in heaven.

Lenny Haise: Here's the thing, we're not "The Wonders" right now, we're "Cap'n Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters".

Jimmy: [Lenny taps his mic before their performance at the Orpheum] Hey, hey! The mic's not on!

Lenny Haise: [going backstage to Boss Vic Koss] We - the mic's not working. The mic isn't working.

Victor 'Boss Vic Koss' Kosslovich: All right, who am I not payin' back here? Come on!

[turns on their mics, but the audience complains from the feedback]

Lenny Haise: [the mic feedback fades] Thank you. Thank you. We're the Oneders.

Victor 'Boss Vic Koss' Kosslovich: Will you play some friggin' music? C'mon!

[Guy starts playing, but his crash cymbal crashes to the stage, and the audience laughs; he and Lenny right the cymbal again]

Victor 'Boss Vic Koss' Kosslovich: Right nowww!