Lenny Feder Quotes in Grown Ups 2 (2013)

[first lines]

[a deer walks into the bedroom]

Lenny Feder: Sweetheart.

Roxanne Chase-Feder: Mmm?

Lenny Feder: Go over to the window right now and open it as wide as you can.

Roxanne Chase-Feder: Please let me sleep.

Lenny Feder: I think your mother's here from Mexico, and she needs to leave. Open the window now.

Lenny Feder: Doctor, wouldn't it be nice if there was a cure for anger?

Dr. Larry: There is. It's called Jack Daniels.

Lenny Feder: Another one of your jokes, huh?

Dr. Larry: I wish.

Frat Boy Andy: This is Kappa Eta Sigma property. So you might want to quit perving on our ladies and get back to your trailer homes.

Lenny Feder: Okay, easy there, Abercrombile. I think it's... I think we've been around here longer than you. Been swimming here since we were eight years old, so you just calm down a little bit.

Frat Boy Andy: I'm sure it was the bomb! Cranking to your Al Jolsson tunes on your transistor radio. But it's the 21st century now. And Thicky Thick and the Flabber Bunch should never take their shirts off. Never.

Lenny Feder: That hurts.

Eric Lamonsoff: Okay, I guess I'm Thicky Thick.

Lenny Feder: Yeah, well, I don't like being in the Flabby Bunch, either.

Eric Lamonsoff: Hold up. Hang on. I got a burpsnart coming up.

[burps, sneezes and farts]

Lenny Feder: You got to teach me how you do that.

Eric Lamonsoff: A burpsnart? It's simple. You just start with a burp, then you sniff with a sneeze, you get the going, and that triggers a fart, always.

[last lines]

Lenny Feder: I did it! I burpsnarted! Yes!

Roxanne Chase-Feder: Lenny, grow up!

Lenny Feder: I did it for the baby!

Becky Feder: [about the bug zapper] Daddy! Where is it taking them?

Marcus Higgins: ...Hell.

Lenny Feder: Higgins. Don't say that.

Marcus Higgins: Oh I'm sorry not Hell... Mexico.

Lenny Feder: I bet you 5 bucks he gets on one knee.

Kurt McKenzie: You're on.

Lenny Feder: You see that? You just aim for a spot and shoot the ball there?

Eric Lamonsoff: It's true. Your dad has won over 50 games with that shot.

Greg Feder: Really? Because that shot doesn't work on the Wii.

Eric Lamonsoff: Well, you should Wii-turn that Wii and get yourself a Wii-fund. Tim Duncan has had over a hundred game winners with that shot.

[from trailer]

Lenny Feder: Higgy!

Marcus Higgins: Hey, what's up, Lenny? Buddy, I thought you were gonna start working out.

Lenny Feder: What does that mean?

Marcus Higgins: Um... you're fat.

Lenny Feder: No!

Marcus Higgins: Hey Lenny, remember when we'd come here after we got wasted?

Donna Lamonsoff: [Hearing what Marcus just said] What's wasted?

Lenny Feder: Nice one, Higgins. Wasted is when you have a hankering for ice cream.

[All the kids are talking about wanting to get wasted]

Donna Lamonsoff: I want to get wasted every day of my life.

Becky Feder: I want to get chocolate wasted.

Lenny Feder: [while watching Rob's daughter look at her car with his buddies] Shift, shift.

Marcus Higgins: Can you have sex with them when they're pregnant?

Lenny Feder: Well, McKenzie can because the baby thinks it's getting a Tootsie roll.

Eric Lamonsoff: I gotta make a sissy.

Kurt McKenzie: Come on, you made three already.

Rob Hilliard: It must be oozing out at this point.

Eric Lamonsoff: Shut up. I'm trying to concentrate.

Kurt McKenzie: It's taking a piss, not the SATs.

Lenny Feder: Are you peeing or is a diesel truck turning off? What the hell is that?

Marcus Higgins: Listen to hamper bottom. I think he's sending a message in Morse code. Getting old. Stop. Can't pee. Stop. Reek like an asparagus. Stop. Even though I didn't have any. Stop.

Lenny Feder: Where is Sascatchatoon?

Lenny Feder: Lamonsoff, it's 5 in the morning. Can you kill the dog now?

Eric Lamonsoff: Thinking about it.

Lenny Feder: Mama, I didn't know the Elephant Man lived in your shoe.

Kurt McKenzie: How in the world's anybody supposed to get some sleep knowing they're under the same roof as Toe-be Bryant over here?

Lenny Feder: Roxanne, I have made out with about 25 girls in this very spot and I want you to be number 26.

Roxanne Chase-Feder: As long as I am the last.

Lenny Feder: Higgins, what are you doing?

Marcus Higgins: I don't wear pants at my house, I'm not wearing them in your house. Sorry.

Roxanne Chase-Feder: That was a man's ass?

Lenny Feder: We needed to be here. Our kids were turning into snotty, spoiled, little. This is what we needed.