Lennie Pike Quotes in It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World (1963)


Lennie Pike Quotes:

  • Lennie Pike: *Everybody* has to pay taxes!- Even businessmen, that rob and steal and cheat from people everyday, even *they* have to pay *taxes*!

  • Lennie Pike: Then what happens next? I'll tell you what happens: Then they all decide that I'm supposed to get a smaller share! That I'm somebody extra special stupid, or something! That they don't even care if it's a democracy! And in a democracy, it don't matter how stupid you are, you still get an equal share!

  • Sylvester Marcus: [into a phone] Mama, who's with you? Where are you talking to me... Where are you?

    Mrs. Marcus: [into the phone] I'm with this truck driver at Peterson's garage in a place called Plaster City. And will you just shut up a minute so I can tell you what happened!

    Sylvester Marcus: Now listen, Mommy, you listen to me close. You stay right there, because I'm coming, Mom. I'm coming to get you right now, Mom.

    Mrs. Marcus: Will you SHUT UP AND LISTEN?

    Sylvester Marcus: Mama, it's all right. Everything's gonna be all right, Mama. Your baby's coming to get ya. You just sit there. Sit there, relax, take it easy.

    Mrs. Marcus: [On the phone and the camera's still on Sylvester] Sylvester...

    Sylvester Marcus: I'm coming to get you, Mom!

    Mrs. Marcus: [On the phone and the camera's still on Sylvester] ... shut up and let me talk...

    Sylvester Marcus: [At the same time, while Mrs. Marcus is speaking] Everything is gonna be all right!

    [Hangs up]

    Lennie Pike: Well?

    Mrs. Marcus: So he's coming here. And I'm not to worry about a thing, because "everything is going to be all right!"

    Mrs. Marcus: [to Emmeline] Exactly like your father: a big, stupid, muscle-headed moron!

  • Lennie Pike: [after Smiler Grogan literally kicks the bucket] That guy's dead. You better believe it.

    Benjy Benjamin: Oh, I believe it all right, but if he jumps up again like he did before, I'm gonna get the hell out of here.

  • Benjy Benjamin: Look! We've figured it seventeen different ways, and every time we figured it, it was no good, because no matter how we figured it, somebody don't like the way we figured it! So now, there's only one way to figure it. And that is, every man, including the old bag, for himself!

    Ding Bell: So good luck, and may the best man win!

    Benjy Benjamin: [to Mrs. Marcus] Right! Except you,lady. May you just drop dead!

    Lennie Pike: All right, all right, we all agree on that. Now look, let's be sensible about this thing. There's money in this for all of us. Right? There's enough for you, there's enough for you, and for me, and for you, and there's enough for...

    [they all race to their cars]

  • J. Russell Finch: Here,

    [pulls a blue bicycle from the mess of furniture that fell out of Pike's van]

    J. Russell Finch: take this and go hire us the best car you can find.

    Lennie Pike: But... this is a little girl's bike. This is for a little girl. Oh listen, I got to get this stuff back in so I can lock up the van.

    J. Russell Finch: We'll put everything away. Will you get going please, will you hurry?

    Lennie Pike: Oh okay... I gotta admit. I feel kinda silly. You know what I mean?

    [Pedals away on the bicycle]

  • Lennie Pike: [Otto Meyer drives by] That's him! That's him! I tell you, when I catch you, I'll kill you! I tell you, I'll kill you, you dirty *robber*!

    J. Algernon Hawthorne: Someone you know?

  • [Pike and Sylvester are digging into a hole that suddenly becomes too close]

    Sylvester Marcus: Wait a minute, wait a minute. There's not enough room, Man, you're bugging me. You're bugging me.

    Lennie Pike: What are you talking about 'bugging'?

    Sylvester Marcus: Cut out, cut out.

    Lennie Pike: What's this 'cut out' talk?

    Sylvester Marcus: Out, baby. Out, baby. Out!

    Lennie Pike: Don't call me a baby!

    All: Would you just get out? Get on with it!

  • J. Russell Finch: And I give you my word. My wife wanted to stop for you, I wanted to stop for you, he wanted to stop for you. But tell him, tell him how my mother in-law made us drive right by him...

    Lennie Pike: Listen, anything you got to say about your mother in-law, you don't have to explain to me. You know what I mean? Like if she were the star of a real crummy horror movie, I'd believe it.

  • Lennie Pike: [furious] So! So someone will "stumble over the little girl's bicycle in the dark", huh? Well when I'm finished with *you*, they'll be stumbling over *YOU* in the *dark*!

  • Lennie Pike: All right lady, are you gonna get out or am I gonna have to throw you out?

    Emmeline Finch: Oh please Mr. Pike, don't get upset.

    Mrs. Marcus: He's not gonna do anything! Drive on, ya big stupid idiot!

  • Lennie Pike: Now fellas, you keep this up and I'm gonna get sore. I mean it.

  • Melville Crump: The man said there was a certain amount of money buried down in this park.

    Lennie Pike: That's right. It was under a big W. Say what is a big W?

    Ding Bell: If we find out, we'll send you a wire.

    Melville Crump: It's only a possibility now, it's only a possibility that this man was telling the truth. And if it was the truth, then it is a fact that this place is almost 200 miles away. Now I suggest that we quietly get into our cars and drive down there at a safe, sound speed, keeping each other in sight of each other. And then when we get down there, we dig up the money - providing there is some money there. And if we do find it, we share it amongst us in a simple manner.

  • Lennie Pike: Wealth... Witch... Let's see. Where. Work. That's it, work. I gotta work on where it is.

  • Lennie Pike: This is stupid. You call me a "stupid idiot?" Well, let me tell you something. You're a "stupid idiot!"

    Mrs. Marcus: But he'll go all the way to Plaster City.

    Lennie Pike: So he goes all the way to Plaster City. I don't know about you, but I'm turning this thing around. Now, you wanna catch him? You get out and run!

  • Lennie Pike: It's buried under a big W. Say, what is a big W?

    Ding Bell: When we find out, we'll send you a 'Wire'.

    Benjy Benjamin: Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

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