Lenina Huxley Quotes in Demolition Man (1993)

Lenina Huxley: I have, in fact, perused some newsreels in the Schwarzenegger Library, and the time that you took that car...

John Spartan: Hold it. The Schwarzenegger Library?

Lenina Huxley: Yes. The Schwarzenegger Presidential Library. Wasn't he an actor when you...?

John Spartan: Stop! He was President?

Lenina Huxley: Yes! Even though he was not born in this country, his popularity at the time caused the 61st Amendment which states...

John Spartan: I don't wanna know. President...

[last lines]

John Spartan: But there's just one thing I wanna know...

Lenina Huxley: Hm?

John Spartan: How's that damn three seashell thing work?

John Spartan: [whispering to Lenina] Look, I don't know if you guys know it, but uh... you're out of toilet paper.

Alfredo Garcia: [confused] Did... did you say toilet *paper*?

Lenina Huxley: Um... they used handfuls of wadded paper back in the 20th...

[Lenina, Alfredo, and Erwin all laugh]

John Spartan: I'm happy that you're happy, but the place where you're supposed to have the toilet paper, you've got this little shelf with three seashells on it.

Erwin: He doesn't know how to use the three seashells!

[Erwin continues to laugh, then calms down]

Erwin: I can see how that could be confusing.

[after futuristic, contact-free "sex"]

John Spartan: Look, Huxley, why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?

Lenina Huxley: [stands up, shocked] Eeewww, disgusting! You mean... *fluid transfer*?

Lenina Huxley: What you're telling me to do is violate a direct order. I'm supposed to take you back to the Cryo Prison.

John Spartan: Listen, Huxley. I just know okay. I'm gonna find Phoenix and I'm gonna put him on ice or that's where *I'm* gonna be. After that, I'm gonna turn all of my attention to that fuckin' Cacteau.

Lenina Huxley: Enhance your calm, John Spartan.

John Spartan: Look, I'm tired of enhancing my calm.

Alfredo Garcia: [Seeing Spartan opening the pod to the depths of wasteland] Wait, you're opening the pod to the depths of wasteland?

John Spartan: The real reason why your citywide search didn't work is because Phoenix was in an area that A: You can't monitor. B: You're afraid to go down and C: You don't give a shit about. Now, I'm going to find Phoenix and I'm gonna put him in a hurt locker. So, are you coming with me, or are you gonna arrest me?

Lenina Huxley: Okay. Let's go blow this guy.

John Spartan: [Annoyed] Away. Blow this guy *away*?

Lenina Huxley: Whatever.

Lenina Huxley: I was wondering if you would like to have sex?

John Spartan: [surprised] Here? With you? Now?

Lenina Huxley: [nervously, nodding] Mm-hmm.

John Spartan: Oh yeah.

Lenina Huxley: He's finally matched his meet. You really licked his ass.

John Spartan: That's *met* his match and kicked... *kicked* his ass...

Lenina Huxley: The exchange of bodily fluids, do you know what that leads to?

John Spartan: Yeah, I do! Kids, smoking, a desire to raid the fridge.

Lenina Huxley: No, John Spartan, you do not accuse the savior of our city of being in league with a multi-murder-death-killer like Simon Phoenix! It's... rude!

John Spartan: I'll be subtle. I'm good at subtle.

Lenina Huxley: [shoots a CyroCon about to knife Spartan] That man has died by my hands.

John Spartan: It was him or us, Huxley.

Lenina Huxley: Well yeah, there is that.

Lenina Huxley: [Spartan encounters a burger grill in the underground world] Just don't ask them where the meat comes from.

John Spartan: Huxley, what's that supposed to mean?

Lenina Huxley: Do you see any cows around here, detective?

John Spartan: Que es este carne?

[What is this meat?]

Hamburger Stand Scrap: Este carne es de rata.

[This meat is from rats]

John Spartan: Rat? This is a rat burger?

[vendor nods]

John Spartan: Not bad! Matter of fact this is the best burger I've had in years!

Hamburger Stand Scrap: Gracias, Senor.

John Spartan: Prego. See ya later.

Edgar Friendly: You got ball balls, cop, coming down here after the show you put on.

Lenina Huxley: We're looking for a murder-death-killer. Can you help, or just bully us with your primitive weapons?

[Friendly then raises his twin barrelled pistol and fires it to show it's not primitive]

Lenina Huxley: Oh, maybe they're not so primitive.

Edgar Friendly: So, you think you're taking me in, huh? Guess what, not happening. You tell Cocteau he can kiss my ass. Yeah, that's right, you tell Cocteau it's gonna take an army of assholes to get rid of me 'cause I don't give a shit, I've got nothing to lose.

John Spartan: I don't wanna rain on your parade, pal. But, I don't know who the hell you are, let alone wanna take you anywhere. So stay here, be well and Cocteau's an asshole!

[In anger, he slaps a scrap's weapon to the side]

Wasteland Scrap: Let's stake them and dump them up top, they're only down here to spy on us.

John Spartan: Wait a minute, you're the guy outside Taco Bell.

Edgar Friendly: Yeah. What do you want?

John Spartan: I guess you weren't part of the Cocteau Plan.

Edgar Friendly: Greed, deception, abuse of power? That's no plan.

John Spartan: And that's why everybody's down here?

Edgar Friendly: You got that right. See, according to Cocteau's plan, I'm the enemy. Cause I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind if guy who wants to sit in a greasy spoon and think, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecued ribs with the side order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol. I want to eat bacon, butter and buckets of cheese, okay? I want to smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in a non-smoking section. I wanna run through the streets naked with green Jello all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to. Okay, pal? I've seen the future, you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sittin' around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake singing "I'm an Oscar-Meyer Wiener". You wanna live on top, you gotta live Cocteau's way. What he wants, when he wants, how he wants. Your other choice: come down here, maybe starve to death.

John Spartan: All right, then why don't you take charge and lead these people out of here?

Edgar Friendly: I'm no leader. I do what I have to do. Sometimes, people come with me. All I want to do is bury Cocteau up to his neck in shit and let him think happy-happy thoughts forever.

John Spartan: Then I got bad news: I think he wants to kill you.

[Freindly gives him a blank look]

Lenina Huxley: Chief, you can take this job, and you can shovel it.

John Spartan: Take this job... and shovel it.

Lenina Huxley: Yeah?

John Spartan: Close enough.

Lenina Huxley: [sotto voce] Sanctimonious asshole.

Machine on wall: Lenina Huxley, you are fined one-half credit for a sotto voce violation of the Verbal Morality Statute.

Lenina Huxley: Ah, smoking is not good for you, and it's been deemed that anything not good for you is bad; hence, illegal. Alcohol, caffeine, contact sports, meat...

John Spartan: Are you shitting me?

Moral Statute Machine: John Spartan, you are fined one credit for a violation of the Verbal Morality Statute.

John Spartan: What the hell is that?

Moral Statute Machine: John Spartan, you are fined one credit for a violation of the Verbal Morality Statute.

Lenina Huxley: Bad language, chocolate, gasoline, uneducational toys and anything spicy. Abortion is also illegal, but then again so is pregnancy if you don't have a licence.

John Spartan: Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you back there.

Lenina Huxley: No need to make a de-hurtful retraction. I've just assimilated too much contraband. I fleshed you out as some blow-up-the-bad-guy-with-a-happy-grin-he-man type, but now I realize that you're the moody-troubled-past-gunslinger-who-only-draws-when-he-must type.

John Spartan: Huxley, stop.

Lenina Huxley: What?

John Spartan: I'm not any of that. I just do my job and things get...

Lenina Huxley: Get demolished.

[after Spartan crashes in a police car]

Lenina Huxley: Look at you, you're a shambles!

John Spartan: Don't worry, I can fix it. All I need is a needle and thread.

[pause]

John Spartan: I really didn't say that, did I? Damn!

Lenina Huxley: Thank you for rendering me unconscious.

John Spartan: Huxley, I did it for your own good.

Lenina Huxley: We're supposed to be a team.

John Spartan: We are.

[grabs Huxley, dips, and tongue-kisses her]

Lenina Huxley: [shocked, but impressed] Oh, my. Are all bodily fluid transfers like this?

John Spartan: Better.

Lenina Huxley: Better? Oh, my.

[Huxley kisses Spartan]

John Spartan: I think I'm gonna like the future.

Lenina Huxley: [stamping her foot] You are a savage creature John Spartan, and I wish for you to leave my domicile now!

Lenina Huxley: Looks like there's a new shepherd in town.

[Spartan gives her an exasperated look]

John Spartan: That's sheriff.

Lenina Huxley: I find this lack of stimulus to be truly disappointing, don't you think?

Warden William Smithers - Aged: I try not to, my dear. However, you're young, think all you want!

Lenina Huxley: [complementing Spartan] You are even better live than on Laserdisc!

Lenina Huxley: I thought your life force had been prematurely terminated!

John Spartan: Yeah, I thought I was history too. What the hell happened? All of a sudden, this car turned into a cannoli.

[Spartan and Huxley enter and see Cocteau's face speaking to them from dozens of monitors]

Dr. Cocteau: Forgive my lack of bodily disposition, but I do have an entire city government to run.

John Spartan: Yeah, well run this: you programmed Phoenix's rehabilitation program to turn him into a terrorist, and I don't think his escape was an accident either!

Lenina Huxley: Very subtle.

John Spartan: Thank you.

[after Spartan crashes in a police car]

Lenina Huxley: Look at you, you're in shambles!

John Spartan: Don't worry, I can fix it. All I need is a needle and thread.

[pause]

John Spartan: I really didn't say that, did I? Damn!

John Spartan: I remember when you were a snot-nosed rookie pilot.

Zachary Lamb - Aged: They finally grounded me.

John Spartan: Shit! *buzz!* You were a damn good flyer. *buzz!*

Alfredo Garcia: They seem to be friends, yet he speaks to him in the most profane manner

Lenina Huxley: Well, if you had read my study, you would know this is how insecure heterosexual males used to bond.

Chief George Earle: I monitored your disheartening and distressing comments to the warden this morning. Do you really long for chaos and disharmony? Your fascination with the vulgar 20th century seems to be affecting your better judgement. You realize you're setting a bad example for other officers and sworn personnel.

Lenina Huxley: Thank you for the attitude adjustment, Chief Earle. Info assimilated.