Lefty Quotes in Unleashed (2005)

Lefty: [when meeting Danny outside the market] Boss sends me out to get some mangos and papayas and look what I find instead - a lemon.

Lefty: [after his fake arm falls off] Er,uh... I totally have cancer.

Lefty: [standing next to Donnie's car at night] A wise guy's always right; even when he's wrong, he's right.

Lefty: [standing next to Donnie's car at night] There's the boss. And, under him, there's the skipper. You know how this works?

Donnie Brasco: Yeah, it's like in the army.

Lefty: Bullshit. The army is some guy you don't know telling you to go whack some other guy you don't know.

Donnie Brasco: You think I'm a rat...?

Lefty: [to Donnie's while in his car, before putting a loaded revolver to his head] How many times have I had you in my house? If you're a rat, then I'm the biggest mutt in the history of the Mafia.

Lefty: [while walking with Donnie to meet up with other crime family members] When I introduce you, I'm gonna say, "This is a friend of mine." That means you're a connected guy. Now if I said instead, this is a friend of ours that would mean you a made guy. A Capiche?

[Lefty is cooking dinner in his kitchen]

Lefty: Punch of salt.

Donnie Brasco: [watching him from behind him] Punch?

Lefty: Punch. Punch of salt.

Donnie Brasco: Punch or pinch?

Lefty: Punch, punch. Not pinch. What'd I say? I say pinch?

Donnie Brasco: Nah, you said... you said punch.

Lefty: Sometimes you don't make no fuckin' sense, Donnie.

Sonny Black: [sees the front page of a newspaper entitled "The Nation mourns", while sitting by the pool] How can John Wayne die?

Lefty: Fuckin' Indians got him.

Lefty: [to Annette, after having been sent for] And listen to me, if Donnie calls... , tell him... if it was gonna be anyone, I'm glad it was him. All right?

Lefty: [to Donnie's while in his car] When they send for you, you go in alive, you come out dead, and it's your best friend that does it.

Lefty: [to Donnie in a bar] You're gonna walk out on me? You don't walk out on me. I walk out on you.

Lefty: [to Donnie's while in his car] Why'd you pay for that drink? A wiseguy never pays for his drinks.

Lefty: [to Donnie's while in his car] Who the fuck am I? Who am I? I'm a, a spoke on a wheel. And so was he, and so are you.

Sonny Black: You know what we do when we find that rat, right, Lefty?

Lefty: 'Could be I found him already.

[repeated line]

Lefty: I think I just shit my pants.

Lefty: [to Donnie, sitting on the couch in his home] I got cancer of the prick.

Lefty: [sees the front page of a newspaper, to Donnie's while in his car] Whackin' the boss... another thing I get left out of.

Lefty: [to Donnie, while sitting in his living room] A guy like you don't touch a made guy, you know what I did yesterday? I went in front of the skippers, I'm going on the record with you, nobody can touch you now, I'm your man, Jesus Christ couldn't touch you because I represent you, keep your nose clean, be a good earner follow the rules, and who knows? Maybe one day they open the books you get straightened out, become a wise guy, a made guy, I'd die with you Donnie.

[Lefty is banging a parking meter very loudly with a hammer, on a table in a bar]

Sonny Black: Hey, will you fuckin' stop that?

Lefty: How am I gonna get this thing open?

[looks back at the meter]

Lefty: Open Sesame!

Lefty: [to Donnie, after having been sent for] If anything should happen to me... make sure Annette gets the car.

Lefty: Whose dat guy?

Nicky: [while getting shaved at a barber shop] That's Donnie, Don da'jeweler.

Lefty: [standing outside the club King's Court before it opens] I'm tellin' ya, Donnie... nothin' but nothin' but right.

Lefty: [to Donnie, sitting on the couch in his home] She's a good woman, Annette. One broad, that's enough for anyone.

Lefty: [to Donnie in a bar] In all the five boroughs, I'm known, forget about it, I'm known all over the fucking world, anybody asks about Lefty from Mulberry Street, you're pissing up the world fucking street my friend

Lefty: [sees the front page of a newspaper documenting another crime boss was murdered, to Donnie while in his car] I never hear from my boss until he dies, then my whole life gets turned upside down!

[repeated line]

Lefty: Forget about it...

Lefty: I'm the Lord of the Harvest!

Drayton: What's that? Some new health food bunch?

Lefty: One of those boys was so crazy he sawed his own head off going 90 miles per hour.

Lefty: [after discovering a hall in the wall filled with entrails in the Sawyers' hideout] It's the Devil's playground.

[a chanting Lefty has just sawed his way through the Sawyers' hideout and has finally come face-to-face with them]

Lefty: Boys, boys, boys.

Drayton: What the Hell's goin' on here? That the American way of enterin' a man's home, singin' like that?

Lefty: Did you know that diarrhea was hereditary?

Dusty: No, I didn't.

Lefty: Yeah, it runs in your genes.

Dusty, Lefty: [singing] Bad jokes, Lord, I love 'em. / Bad jokes, can't get enough of em. / O-o-o-whee, / Bad jokes for me.

Lefty: The blind man's seeing eye dog pissed on the blind man's shoe. The blind man said "Here Rover, here's a piece of beef for you." His wife said "Don't reward him, you can't just let that pass." The blind man said "I gotta find his mouth so I can kick him in the ass."

Lefty: What do you get when you cross holy water with castor oil?

Dusty: I don't know, Lefty. What do you get?

Lefty: A religious movement.

Dusty: Hey, uh... hey, Lefty. What did the elephant say to the naked man?

Lefty: What'd he say?

Dusty: It's cute, but can you really breathe through that thing?

Dusty: Did you hear about the Viagra shipment that got stolen?

Lefty: No. Who do they think did it?

Dusty: Well, they don't know, but they're on the look out for hardened criminals.

Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: [referring to the letters 'D.D.' being shot into the wall with bullets] Do you have any idea what this could possibly mean?

Lavar: Doris Day. Just a guess.

Shane: [thinks long and hard] Dom Deluise.

Kenneth: Daniel Day-Lewis.

In the Way Back: Snoop Doggy Dogg.

Another Bad Guy: Daphne du Maurier.

Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Oh, shut up.

In The Back: Doc Duvalier.

Lefty: David Duchovny?

In The Back: Delores Del Rio.

Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Shut up, you idiots.

Kenneth: Dan Rather.

Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: These initials could only mean one thing: Dudley Do-Right.

Lefty: [Helping carry out four dead bodies] That's just the kind of a dirty trick those guys would pull, leaving themselves in that kind of shape around your house.

Remy Marco: Yeah, you know, that Little Dutch never had no consideration for other people's feelings.

Nan Taylor: I may be outta here myself, before long.

Lefty: What do you mean out? Your parole ain't due for eight or nine months yet.

Nan Taylor: Yeah, but I might be able to use that Slade sap in some way?

Lefty: You didn't have much luck with him last time.

Nan Taylor: I'll handle him different next time.

Dutch Barnes: Lefty, what's our racket?

Lefty: Beer!

Dutch Barnes: Beer, huh, you're five minutes late. We're going into the drug business.

Lefty: Not me. I got a brother doing twenty years for going into the drug business and all they found on him was two decks of coke.

Mae LaRue: [Bursting in on Dutch and Lil in Dutch's office] I told you he was in!

[Sizing up the situation]

Mae LaRue: Hello, lover.

Dutch Barnes: [Straightening his tie nervously] Hello, Mae.

Lily 'Lil' Duran: Hello Mae? You bet he's in; he's in my hair.

[turning to Dutch]

Lily 'Lil' Duran: Why you double-crossing, two-timing slug. So that's why you want to send me to Europe, huh?

Dutch Barnes: Now wait a minute, honey, wait a minute.

Lily 'Lil' Duran: Oh, wait a minute - breezin' me off so you can play post office with this queen. What gutter'dja pick her out of?

Mae LaRue: [Doing a Mae West hand-on-hip hair fluff] I don't believe I know you.

Lily 'Lil' Duran: [Kicking her in the rump] Well how's this for an introduction?

Mae LaRue: Why I'll knock your head off and throw it right in...

[They start to wrestle]

Lily 'Lil' Duran: You and what army?

[They continue fighting and hair-pulling and yelling at each other. After thirty seconds or so, Dutch intervenes]

Dutch Barnes: [Pushing the women apart] Now listen, you two dames. What's the matter with ya?

Lefty: [to Slim] Get Jimmy.

[Lefty and Dutch go into the next room and close the door]

Dutch Barnes: [to Lefty] *There's* a couplea phone numbers for the ashcan!

Lefty: Maybe we'd better go in for nail files.

[as a next line of business]

Dutch Barnes: Shut up. Where's Jimmy?

Lefty: Slim's sending him in.

Jimmy Morrell: [Entering] Mr. Barnes, what's happened?

Dutch Barnes: My tomatoes blew up.

Nick Damon: This beer's hot!

Lefty: Hot or cold, it's still beer!

Inspector Timothy Donovan: [In the dress salon] What are you doin' here?

Lefty: [Flustered] Uh, buyin' a dress for my aunt in Hoboken.

Jerry - Gay's Houseboy: Why, Mr. Lefty, the newspapers said you were incarcerated.

Lefty: You know I never drink. I was pinched, but I beat the rap through a suspended sentence.

Lefty: [On board ship] Hey, we came here to meet your brother. You remember?

Gay Lawrence: Oh, yes, yes.

Lefty: And I sure hope he ain't got dames for a hobby like you have.

Gay Lawrence: I'm afraid you're in for a disappointment, Lefty.

Inspector Timothy Donovan: [authoritatively] I'm handling this case!

Lefty: What a break for crime!

Lefty: He's almost as bad as his brother, only worse.

Lefty: Lieutenant, you got nothing on me. My being here was strictly co-accidental.