Lee Simon Quotes in Celebrity (1998)

Lee Simon: One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High and you f***ing blink and you're 40, you blink again and you can see movies at half price on a senior citizen's pass. Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately, ask not for whom the toilet flushes.

Lee Simon: Every curve in your body fulfills its promise. If the universe has any meaning, I'm looking at it.

Supermodel: You're not afraid of catching germs? And you know, I'm coming down with a cold and everything...

Lee Simon: From you I'd be willing to catch terminal cancer.

Lee Simon: Just in time. Another minute, I'd have been found dead of comedy poisoning...

Lee Simon: I'm awash in self-contempt!

Lee Simon: And you're, you're perfect. Do you have ANY flaws? I'm agog... with...

Supermodel: Physically?

Bonnie: Apparently his first two books...

Lee Simon: They were obliterated. I got the 3 esses: self-indulgent, sophomoric, sollipsistic...