Lawrence Wetherhold Quotes in Smart People (2008)

Lawrence Wetherhold: Why would you have a baby with me?

Janet Hartigan: Because you don't know how to properly use a condom.

Lawrence Wetherhold: Message received.

Lawrence Wetherhold: You're a giant toddler!

Janet Hartigan: I'm sorry I called you an arrogant windbag the other night.

Lawrence Wetherhold: You called me a *pompous* windbag the other night.

Vanessa Wetherhold: [in the hospital with her dad] So, what happened to your head?

Lawrence Wetherhold: [groggy] It's all a blur.

Lawrence Wetherhold: I don't think you're very happy Vanessa.

Vanessa Wetherhold: Well, you're not happy. And you're my role model.

Lawrence Wetherhold: [first lines - to his class] Good morning. As it's important that we all get to know one another, I would like you to wear these.

[hands out name tags]

Missy Chin: I've taken two other courses from you this year, and you still don't know what my name is, do you?

Lawrence Wetherhold: I most certainly do.

Missy Chin: What is it?

Lawrence Wetherhold: Look

[peeks at his papers]

Lawrence Wetherhold: Miss Chin...

Student: You just looked.

Lawrence Wetherhold: Just go home and get some sleep, and get the perfect SAT score.

Vanessa Wetherhold: That's what I've been trying to do.

Lawrence Wetherhold: mercurial...

Vanessa Wetherhold: I learned that word in the 5th grade.

Lawrence Wetherhold: fecundity...

Vanessa Wetherhold: Ah, English is my first language.

Lawrence Wetherhold: uxorious...

Vanessa Wetherhold: That's appropriately obscure - mind you I know it. Overly fond of one's wife.

Lawrence Wetherhold: That's my girl.

Janet Hartigan: I have a good one. eft...

Vanessa Wetherhold: Let me ponder... Short in stature. Diminutive.

Janet Hartigan: No I'm sorry, eft is a young newt.

Lawrence Wetherhold: [stilted date conversation] We respond to literary texts using precisely the same fundamental interpretive categories that authors and poets use to create them. So there's no need to posit any kind of unstable ontology, or ruptured consciousness. You following me?

Janet Hartigan: I like suburban Pittsburgh for Christmas.

Lawrence Wetherhold: Yes. Really gliferous. Euro. Paris of uh, western Pennsylvania.