Laverne Quotes in The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)


Laverne Quotes:

  • Laverne: [to Quasimodo] Quasi, take it from an old spectator. Life's not a spectator sport. If watchin' is all you're gonna do, then you're gonna watch your life go by without ya.

  • Hugo: Hey isn't that, uh, Feeble?

    Laverne: Doofus.

    Quasimodo: Phoebus!

  • Esmeralda: Maybe Frollo's wrong about the both of us.

    [the gargoyles are eavesdropping]

    Hugo: What did she say?

    Laverne: Frollo's nose is long, and he wears a truss.

    Hugo: Ha! Told ya. Pay up.

    Victor: Oh, dear...

    [hands him a coin]

    Hugo: [takes the coin] Chump!

  • Hugo: What're you guys talkin' about? If I knew Esmeralda, she's three steps ahead of Frollo and well outta harm's way.

    Quasimodo: [doubtfully] Do you really think so?

    Hugo: Hey, when things cool off, she'll be back. You'll see.

    Quasimodo: [puzzledly] What makes you so sure?

    Laverne: Because she likes ya.

    [ruffling Quasi's hair]

    Laverne: We always said you were the cute one.

    Hugo: [eating crackers and cheese] I thought *I* was the cute one!

    Laverne: No, you're the fat, stupid one with the big mouth!

    Hugo: Whatcha sayin', exactly?

  • Laverne: [to the pigeons] Don't you ever migrate?

  • Hugo: Give her some slack, then reel her in. Then give her some slack...

    Laverne: Knock it off, Hugo. She's a girl, not a mackerel.

  • Victor: Oh, but that poor Gypsy girl. I'm beginning to feel the worst.

    Laverne: I know, but now don't you say anything to upset Quasimodo. He's worried enough already.

    Hugo: Yeah, you're right. We'd better lighten up.

    Victor: [as Quasi climbs down after ringing the bells] Sh-sh-sh! Here he comes.

    Laverne: Now just stay calm.

    Victor: Not a word.

    Hugo: Easy does it.

    Victor: Look stone-faced.

    Quasimodo: [approaching the window] Any sign of her?

    Victor: [Breaks down and weeps] Doh, it's a lost cause! She could be anywhere: in the stocks, in the dungeon, or on the rack! Oh God...

    Laverne: [giving an A-OK sign] Nice work, Victor.

    Quasimodo: No, he's right. What're we gonna do?

  • [Quasimodo is chained down, the gargoyles are encouraging him to free free himself]

    Hugo: Come on, Quasi, snap out of it!

    Victor: Your friends are down there!

    Quasimodo: [despondently and weakly] It's all my fault.

    Laverne: [as she, Hugo, and Victor try tugging the chains] You gotta break these chains!

    Quasimodo: [sulkingly] I can't. I tried. What difference would it make?

    Victor: But you can't let Frollo *win*!

    Quasimodo: [despondently again] He already has.

    Hugo: [dropping the chains] Say, you're giving up? That's it?

    Laverne: These chains aren't what's holding you back, Quasimodo.

    Quasimodo: [snapping firmly] Leave me alone!

    Hugo: [meekly] Okay. Okay, Quasi. We'll leave you alone.

    Victor: After all, we're only made out of stone.

    [he and Hugo turn to stone]

    Laverne: We just thought maybe you were made of somethin' stronger.

    [turns to stone]

    Laverne: [pause; Frollo's voice drifts up from below]

    Frollo: For justice, for Paris, and for her own salvation, it is my sacred duty to send this unholy demon... back where she belongs!

    [he fires the kindling while the crowd indistinctly shouts in protest]

    Quasimodo: *Nooooooooooooooo!*

    [the chains snap taut, the bells resonate as the pillars Quasimodo is chained to break and fall]

  • Laverne: Look, he's got a friend with him!

    Hugo: Yeah, maybe today wasn't a total loss, after all.

    Victor: A vision of loveliness.

    Hugo: The one in the dress ain't bad, either.

  • Victor: Perhaps he's sick.

    Laverne: Impossible. If twenty years of listening to you two hasn't made him sick by now, nothing will.

  • Hugo: Hey hey! There he is!

    [He, Laverne, and Victor rush to cheer and applaud Quasi, who's walking back to the bell tower, glad to be rid of Pheobus]

    Victor: Gizmo! You ejected that tin-plated baboon with great panache!

    Hugo: The *nerve* of him, snooping around here trying to steal your girl.

    Quasimodo: My girl?

    Laverne: Esmeralda. Dark hair, works with a goat. Remember?

    Hugo: Boy, I do! Way to go, lover boy!

    Quasimodo: "Lover boy"? Oh, no, no, no, no.

    Laverne: Aw, don't be so modest.

    Quasimodo: Look, I appreciate what you're all trying to do, but let's not fool ourselves. "Ugliest face in all of Paris", remember? I don't think I'm her type.

  • Phoebus: Achilles, sit!

    [horse Achilles sits on the guard's face]

    Oafish Guard: [muffled] Oh - whoa, get off me!

    Laverne: [to the pigeons] Fly, my pretties! Fly, fly!


  • Laverne: [singing] Call me a hopeless romantic but Quasi, I feel it.

    Victor: [singing] She wants you so / Any moment she'll walk through that door.

    HugoVictorLaverne: [singing] For...

    Hugo: [singing] A guy so swell.

    HugoVictorLaverne: [singing] A guy like you.

    Hugo: [singing] With all you bring her.

    VictorLaverne: [singing] I tell you Quasi.

    Hugo: [singing] A fool could tell.

    VictorLaverne: [singing] There never was.

    Hugo: [singing] It's why she fell.

    VictorLaverne: [singing] Another, was he?

    Hugo: [singing] For you-know-who.

    VictorLaverne: [singing] From king to serf to the bourgeoisie.

    Hugo: [singing] You ring the bell.

    VictorLaverne: [singing] They're all a second-stringer.

    HugoVictorLaverne: [singing] You're the bell ringer! / When she wants ooh-la-la / And she wants you la-la / She will discover, guy / You're one heck of a guy / Who wouldn't love a guy like you?

    Hugo: [singing] You got a lot / The rest have not / So she's gotta love a guy like you!

  • Hugo: [singing] A guy like you she's never known, kid. / A guy like you a girl does not meet every day. / You've got a look that's all your own, kid. / Could there be two?

    HugoVictorLaverne: [singing] Like you? No way!

    Hugo: [singing] Those other guys that she could dangle all look the same from every boring point of view. / You're a surprise from every angle. / Mon Dieu above, she's gotta love a guy like you.

    Victor: [singing] A guy like you gets extra credit / Because it's true you've got a certain some thing more.

    Hugo: [spoken] You're aces, kid!

    Laverne: [singing] You see that face / You don't forget it.

    VictorLaverne: [singing] Want something new?

    Hugo: [singing] That's you.

    HugoVictorLaverne: [singing] For sure!

    Laverne: [singing] We all have gaped at some Adonis.

    Victor: [singing] But then we crave a meal more nourishing to chew.

    Hugo: [singing] And since you're shaped like a croissant is...

    HugoVictorLaverne: [singing] No question of, she's gotta love a guy like you!

  • Laverne: Nobody wants to stay cooped up here forever.

    Quasimodo: [gets up excitedly] You're right! I'll go!

    [the gargoyles cheer as Quasimodo tells them what he'll do in preparation]

    Quasimodo: I'll get cleaned up, I'll stroll down those stairs, and march *through* the doors, and...

  • Laverne: Take it from us, Quasi. You've got nothing to worry about.

    Hugo: Yeah, you're irresistible!

    Victor: [chuckles] Knights-in-shining-armor certainly aren't her type.

    Hugo: And those guys are a dime a dozen, but you - you're one of a kind.

  • Laverne: Quasi, what's wrong?

    [patting Quasi on the shoulder]

    Laverne: Wanna tell ole Laverne all about it?

    Quasimodo: I... I just don't feel like watching the festival, that's all.

    Laverne: Well, did you ever think of going there instead?

    Quasimodo: Sure, but I'd never fit in out there. I'm not... normal.

    Laverne: [patting Quasi's shoulder again] Oh, Quasi, Quasi, Quasi...

    [to a flock of pigeons, who have landed on her shoulders and her nose]

    Laverne: Do ya mind? I would like to have a moment with the boy, if it's all right with you!

Browse more character quotes from The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)