Latrine Quotes in Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

Prince John: Such an unusual name, "Latrine." How did your family come by it?

Latrine: We changed it in the 9th century.

Prince John: You mean you changed it TO "Latrine"?

Latrine: Yeah. Used to be "Shithouse."

Prince John: It's a good change. That's a good change!

Sheriff of Rottingham: This is a stealth catapult, we've been working on it secretly for months. It can hurl one of these heavy boulders undetected, over a hundred yards, completely destroying anything in its path.

Prince John: Wow! How's it work?

Sheriff of Rottingham: It's rather simple. You get one of these heavy boulders, put it here where I'm sitting, and then pull on that lever.

Prince John: Like this?

[John pulls the lever and flings Mervin into the air]

Sheriff of Rottingham: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

Latrine: [praying by her bed in her boudoir] Oh dear Lord, if you see fit to send me my one true love...

[the Sheriff crashes through the roof and lands on the bed]

Latrine: [looks up and grins] Thank you!

[starts to climb on top of the Sheriff]

Latrine: Oh my god! Oh my god!

Sheriff of Rottingham: [struggles] No! No! I have a headache!

[runs away]

Latrine: OH BUGGER!

[breaks the fourth wall]

Latrine: I was *that* close! I touched it.

Prince John: What can you tell me about Robin of Loxley?

Latrine: Robin of Loxley? Robin of Loxley? Hmm, let me see.

[starts cooking up a potion in her cauldron]

Latrine: Raven's egg! Blood of a hen! A little more blood, yes! Eyeballs of a crocodile! Testicles of a newt! I bet he's a transsexual now! Robin of Loxley is handsome and brave. He seeks to regain his family's honor. Little sod could be trouble.

Prince John: Are you certain?

Latrine: Certain? You want certain, hire yourself a witch! Me, I'm just your cook.

[serves contents of the cauldron]

Latrine: Here, eat that.