Latigo Quotes in Support Your Local Gunfighter (1971)
Jug: You hit that fellow from behind?
Latigo: Just as hard as I could!
Latigo: [Annoyed that Jug has just used up the 100 dollars he had given him earlier, including giving much of it to some woman] You gave her the money?
Jug: Seemed like the thing to do...
Latigo: But, you idiot! Don't you know that's the surest way to make an enemy out of a woman, givin' her money?
Jug: [Confused] It is?
Latigo: Oh, I learned that a long time ago.
Latigo: This your office?
Doc Schultz: I doctor pack mules, too. If you got a pain in the ass, you come see Doc Schultz.
Jug: You know, I may not have too much of a chance with Swifty Morgan. But suppose I down him?
Latigo: Well, suppose you don't? And the odds are a thousand to one you won't. Well, you'll just end up an unknown character under a wooden cross on Boot Hill.
Jug: Well, everybody winds up dead sooner or later.
Latigo: Well, the smart ones try to postpone it as long as possible.
Taylor Barton: [Upon seeing Lat Smith and Jug] Young man, about that job I want you to do...
Latigo: [Annoyed] I told you not to bother me, mister.
Jug: [Eagerly] The man said something about a job!
Latigo: I don't like work. It tires me out.
Latigo: A man's gotta' be numb on both ends to earn his livin' sittin' on a horse. I just don't like horses.
Jug: He called me "Swifty."
Latigo: Yeah, that's short and friendly for Swifty Morgan. That's who they think you are. And they're willin' to PAY to back up that mistaken idea.
Jug: [Shocked] I'm supposed to pretend I'm Swifty Morgan?... Good Bye!
Latigo: They're willin' to pay!
Jug: How much?
Latigo: Thousand dollars. We'll split it fifty-fifty. That means FOUR HUNDRED for you.
Jug: [Ponders for a second] Seems fair. But I think that...
Latigo: No, no you don't. That's part of the deal. I do the thinkin'. You stand around and look tough.
Mrs. Perkins: [Having led Taylor Barton and his associates to Latigo Smith's room] They come sneakin' in here lookin' at the register tryin' to find the room number of Mr. Smith. I tried to tell 'em I got four Smiths.
Latigo: Well, thank you Mrs. Perkins, uh, we wouldn't wanna' keep you from your work.
Mrs. Perkins: I suppose the way they come sneakin' in here that you're another one of them gunfighters that these stupid jackass miners keep hirin' around here. I suppose they're gonna' hire you, so that you can shoot some mother's son and then some other mother's son can shoot you.
Taylor Barton: Martha, for the love of heaven, unhinge your jaw and depart!
Mrs. Perkins: You see now why I DEMAND my rent in advance every day? Harrumph... Another "Smith." Just more of 'em comin' all the time getting' themselves killed off...
[Mrs. Perkins departs, muttering to herself]
Latigo: Patience, there are some things a man just can't ride around... but then again, maybe he can.
Doc Schultz: [Latigo has come to the doctor for medical consultation] What's your problem?
Latigo: Uh, Doc... Promise you won't tell anybody, huh?
Doc Schultz: On my hypocritic oath!
Latigo: Well, there's one thing that don't change about women. That's the fact that... they're changeable.
Doc Schultz: Where'd you learn so much about women?
Latigo: I worked at it.
Latigo: I don't like anything west of Riverside Drive.
Patience: Where's that?
Latigo: New York City.
Patience: On the Hudson River?
Latigo: Yeah, born and raised there.
Patience: Tell me about it!
Latigo: Tell you what about it?
Latigo: Well let's see, they, they don't carry guns. And they got a cop on every street corner to keep people from shootin' one another.
Latigo: Like I said: a man should spread happiness as he walks through life.
Jug: I think we've been spreadin' it a little thick.
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