Larten Crepsley Quotes in Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (2009)

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Larten Crepsley Quotes:

  • Larten Crepsley: Thank you ladies and gentlemen. I am so excited to be here in an anonymous small town that used to have character but is now just a bland suburb filled with chain stores and surrounded by slums.

    [awkward silence in audience]

    Larten Crepsley: It really is a pleasure to be here. And I am SO honoured that bla bla bla and so on and so forth and etcetera ad nauseum.

  • Darren Shan: [From Trailer] So do I turn into a bat

    Larten Crepsley: NO. That is Bullshit.

  • Larten Crepsley: Life may be meaningless, but I have real hopes for death.

  • Larten Crepsley: Nice night, actually...

    [points up, causing Darren to look away]

    Larten Crepsley: Is that the Little Dipper or the Big one? I can never remember it.

    [Breaks Darren's neck]

    Larten Crepsley: Sorry about that. I had to do that, or they would never believe you were dead. Don't worry; there's no damage to your spinal cord. And I'll sneak into the funeral home and fix your broken neck. Oh and... Sorry for this next part.

  • Larten Crepsley: [after Darren enters his room and turns on the light] Nice room. Some excellent reading material you have here. Thought this was on the internet now.

    Darren Shan: Mine's blocked.

  • Larten Crepsley: Vampires don't need cellphones.

  • Larten Crepsley: I don't want you leaving camp anymore.

    Darren Shan: Why not?

    Larten Crepsley: Because I said so.

    Darren Shan: You're not my dad you can't tell me what to do.

    Larten Crepsley: [vampire pimp slap]

  • Larten Crepsley: Your mouth says no, but your beard says yes.

  • Larten Crepsley: [From Trailer] So do I turn into a bat

    Darren Shan: No. That is Bullshit.

  • Darren Shan: He said something about, uh, souls and, uh, destiny. And he knew where I lived.

    Larten Crepsley: Looks like you're in deep shit, my larcenous friend.

Browse more character quotes from Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (2009)

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Characters on Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (2009)