Landlord Quotes in Kung Fu Hustle (2004)

Landlord: [commenting on Sing's newfound abilities] If he studies hard, he could be a doctor or a lawyer.

Landlady: A stuntman, more likely.

Donut: [nearing death, grabs the landlord] With great power comes great responsibility...

Landlady: Donut, you are badly hurt. You must keep still.

Donut: This could be the end of a beautiful friendship!

Landlord: Oh, Donut. Tomorrow is another day!

[Donut passes away]

Donut: [in English] What are you prepared to do?

Landlord: We can't understand what you're saying!

[the team is listening in on the three suspected bus 87 bombers]

Elise Kraft: They're discussing how hard it is to find a decent cup of coffee over here.

[hands headset to Frank]

Elise Kraft: I make out three voices. What do you have on the infrared?

FBI Agent Mike Johanssen: Sounds like three.

Agent Frank Haddad: If we had microwave we'd know for sure. The CIA's got microwave. How come we don't have microwave?

[Hubbard is talking to the landlord]

Landlord: ...There are three of them. All day long they watch TV, and eat pizza. Nothing but pizza. Pizza, pizza, pizza...

[cuts to Agent Danny Sussman, disguised as a pizza deliveryman, carrying a pizza box that contains a bomb up the stairs, followed by the FBI's HRT team members, who advance with their weapons ready. Danny knocks on the door]

Danny Sussman: Pizza!

[knocks again, this time more urgently]

Danny Sussman: Pizza!

[a young Arab opens the door and hands him a small wad of money]

Danny Sussman: You want change or not?

Arab: No. Put it on the floor.

[Danny complies]

Danny Sussman: [sighs] Have you heard? Crime is down 7% in this city.

Landlord: You're three months behind on your rent. Isn't there someone you can call?

Neale: No, those calls were made a long time ago.

King Jaffe Joffer: You're not Akeem.

Landlord: I know that.

King Jaffe Joffer: [looking at Akeem's award from McDowell's] What is this?

Landlord: A photograph.

King Jaffe Joffer: What is this - McDowell's?

Landlord: It's a place on Queens Boulevard. I think he works there.

King Jaffe Joffer: [offended] My son *works*?

Landlord: Okay, now what the FUCK do you want?

Prince Akeem: We desire a room.

Landlord: Look, you better not be wasting my time. You got money?

[Semmi holds up money]

Landlord: Come on in, gentlemen.

Landlord: Hey Stu, your rent's due, motherfucker! And don't be pulling that falling down the stairs shit on me, you hear! Are you conscious? Shoot, every month the same damn thing.

Landlord: All right, here we are. There's only one bathroom on this floor, so you're going to have to share it. We got a bit of an insect problem, but you boys from Africa are used to that. And another thing, don't use the elevator. It's a death trap. This is the place I was telling you about. It's real fucked up. Got just one window facing a brick wall. Used to rent it to a blind man... damn shame what they did to that dog.

Landlord: I am only available between eight thirty and nine in the morning because I have a life.

Landlord: Windy stairckey up to the ceily, fine glinty scintillabe up the dangly chanderlabies...

Landlord: Am I a charity? You haven't paid me in four months.

Fantine: [shivering with cold] I paid you...

Landlord: I have bills too and I can't spread my legs. Besides, it's not good business to rent to a whore.

Landlord: Okay now - waiting for a plane...

Molodoy: I feel sorry for the girl... It would be well to fuck her at first.

Reno Miller: Look, I can't even think with these guys playing that music in the place below mine. It's like they play all day and all night. They don't quit for a minute. Hell, they don't even stop to go to the bathroom!

Landlord: It's not my problem. It's your problem.

Reno Miller: What do you mean it's my problem? You're the super around here. It's your job to keep this place quiet.

Landlord: My job? It's not my job. Besides, they don't bother me.

Reno Miller: What do you mean? Why should they bother you? Look what the hell you're doing, fixing spark plugs. Nighttime comes you just sit around your place drinking a few beers, watching TV. Me, I've gotta work. I've got a painting due. I can't work with those guys playing that loud music.

Landlord: Look, I can work. But I'm not gonna say anything to them because they don't bother me.

Reno Miller: Hey, I'm not kidding here. You either tell those cats to keep it quiet, get rid of them, or I'm not paying the rent!

Landlord: What do you mean you won't pay the rent? Buddy, you don't pay the rent anyway! That's why you bother me all the time, and they don't.

Apurba Roy: Who's there?

Landlord: Good morning.

Apurba Roy: Good morning. Sit down.

Landlord: Is there any point in sitting down?

Apurba Roy: At least it will rest your legs after all those stairs.

Landlord: I didn't climb the stairs so I could rest my legs.

Landlord: You're an educated man. You have pictures of great men on the wall. But when it comes to the rent, you hem and haw?

Landlord: I can't win a battle of words with you, Apu-babu.

Doctor Van Helsing: What are you afraid of?

Landlord: I don't understand you.

Doctor Van Helsing: Why all these garlic flowers? And over the window? And up here? They're not for decoration, are they?

Doctor Van Helsing: If the investigation that Mr. Harker and I are engaged upon is successful, not only you, but the only whole will benefit. Castle Dracula is somewhere here in Klausenberg. Will you tell me how I get there?

Landlord: You ordered a meal, sir. As an innkeeper, it is my duty to serve you. When you've eaten, I ask you to go and leave us in peace.

Landlord: [burning down the castle] Come on, men! Burn it down!

Landlord: We know where the evil lies. We must free ourselves now.

Landlord: This evil must be destroyed.