Lampwick Quotes in The Adventures of Pinocchio (1996)


Lampwick Quotes:

  • [the ride on The Big One leads through a fountain of water, which the boys drink, including Pinocchio, but it leaks out of holes in his body]

    Saleo: [to Pinocchio] Hey, Woody! You're leaking!

    Lampwick: I guess some guys just can't hold their water.

  • Professor: Would someone please like to tell us of a characteristic which separates humans from the rest of the animal kingdom?

    Lampwick: [aside, to another student] Cages.

  • Lampwick: [to Pinocchio] Hey, Woody, you ever get termites?

    Pinocchio: What are termites?

    Saleo: They're bugs.

    Pinocchio: I like bugs.

    Lampwick: Not these kind, you don't.

    Saleo: They eat wood like you.

    [he kicks Pinocchio in the leg]

  • Lampwick: [picks up Jiminy] Hey, who's the beetle?

    Jiminy Cricket: Let go! Put me down!

    Pinocchio: He's my conscience. He tells me what's right and wrong.

    Lampwick: What? You mean to tell me you take orders from a grasshopper?

    Jiminy Cricket: Grasshopper? Look here, you - you impudent young pup! It wouldn't hurt you to take orders from your grasshop - er, your conscience, if you have one!

  • Lampwick: You smoke like my grandmother.

  • Lampwick: Huh! To hear that beetle talk you'd think somethin' was gonna happen to us.

    [Donkey ears pop out of Lampwick's head; Pinocchio's eyes widen]

    Lampwick: Conscience! Aw, phooey!

    [a tail pops out of the seat of Lampwick's pants; Pinocchio puts down the cigar he has been smoking]

    Lampwick: Wheres he get that stuff? "How do you ever expect to be a real boy?" What's he think I look like?

    [Now his head is that of a donkey]

    Lampwick: A jackass?

    Pinocchio: You sure do! Ha-ha, Hee-haw!

    Lampwick: [as Pinocchio covers his mouth shocked] Hey, you laugh like a donkey. Ha-ha Hee-haw!


    Lampwick: Did that come outta me?

    [Pinocchio nods; Lampwick starts feeling his face and notices the changes]

    Lampwick: Oh!

    [He raises his arms a little higher and notices his ears]

    Lampwick: Huh? What the...

    [noticing his tail]

    Lampwick: What's going on?

    [He looks in the mirror and sees that he is turning into a donkey]

    Lampwick: AAAAHH! I've been double-crossed! Help! Help! Somebody, help! I've been framed! Help!

    [Gets down on his knees and begs Pinocchio for help]

    Lampwick: Please, you gotta help me. Be a pal! Call that beetle. Call anybody!

    [Lampwick's hands turn into hooves]

    Lampwick: Mama! Maaaaaaaaaamaaaaaaaaaaa! Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw!

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Characters on The Adventures of Pinocchio (1996)