Lady Quotes in 3000 Miles to Graceland (2001)
Murphy: What's his problem?
Lady: He's deaf...
[Murphy smiles and chuckles]
Murphy: You're not, so get his head on the fucking ground.
Lady: Oh! Oh, dear!
Tramp: Is something wrong, Pidge?
Lady: It's morning.
Tramp: Yeah. So it is.
Lady: I should have been home hours ago.
Tramp: Why? Because you still believe in that old "in the faithful old dog tray" routine? Aw, come on, Pidge. Open up your eyes.
Lady: Open my eyes?
Tramp: To what a dog's life can really be! I'll show you what I mean. Look down there. Tell me what you see.
Lady: Well, I see nice homes, with yards and fences...
Tramp: Exactly. Life on a leash. Look again, Pige. Look, there's a great big hunk of world down there, with no fence around it. Where two dogs can find adventure and excitement. And beyond those distant hills, who knows what wonderful experiences? And it's all ours for the taking, Pige. It's all ours.
Lady: It sound wonderful.
Lady: But who'd watch over the baby?
Tramp: [shaking his head] You win. Come on. I'll take you home.
Lady: What's a... baby?
Jock: Well, they... they resemble humans.
Trusty: But I'd say a mite smaller.
Jock: Aye, and they walk on all fours.
Trusty: And if I remember correctly... they beller a lot.
Jock: Aye, and they're very expensive. You'll no be permitted to play wi' it.
Trusty: But they're mighty sweet.
Jock: And very very soft.
Tramp: Just a cute little bundle... of trouble!
Lady: [Watching Trusty running and howling in his sleep] He's dreaming.
Jock: Aye, dreamin' of those bonnie bygone days when he and his grandfather were tracking criminals through the swamps.
Lady: They were?
Jock: But that was before...
Lady: Before what?
Jock: 'Tis time you knew the truth, lassie. It shouldn't have happened to a dog, but... well, Trusty has lost his sense of smell.
Lady: [Gasp] No!
Jock: Aye, but we must never let on that we know, lassie. It would break his poor heart.
Lady: ...But when she put that horrible muzzle on me...
Tramp: Say no more, I get the whole picture. Aunts, cats, muzzles... Well, that what comes of tying yourself down to one family.
Lady: Haven't you a family?
Tramp: One for every day of the week. The point is, none of them have me.
Tony: Hey, Joe! Look! Butch-a, he's got a new girlfriend.
Joe: Well, a-son of a gun! He's a got a cockerel Spanish-a girl.
Tony: Hey, she's pretty sweet kiddo, Butch. You take-a Tony's advice and settle down with this-a one, eh? Hehehe.
Lady: "This-a one"?
Tramp: This-a one... this-a... Oh! Tony, you know. He's-a not-a speak-a English-a pretty good.
Tramp: Aw, come on, Pige. It wasn't my fault.
Tramp: I thought you were right behind me. Honest. When I heard they'd taken you to the pound, I...
Lady: Oh, don't even mention that horrible place.
Lady: I was so embarrassed... and frightened...
Tramp: Oh, now, now. Who could ever harm a little trick like you?
Lady: [Angry] Trick? Trick! Oh, that reminds me. Who is Trixie?
Lady: And Lulu and Fifi and Rosita Chiquita wh... whatever her name is?
Tramp: Chiquita... chiquita, oh... Oh! Yes! Well, I-I-I can explain...
Lady: As far as I'm concerned, you needn't worry about your old heel.
Tramp: M-m-my heel?
Lady: I don't need you to shelter and protect me.
Tramp: Yes, b-but...
Lady: If you grow careless, don't blame me. And I don't care if the Cossacks do pick you up! Goodbye! And take this with you!
[Tosses back the bone Tramp gave her]
Tramp: Just a cute little bundle... of trouble. Yeah, they scratch, pinch, pull ears... Aw, but shucks, any dog can take that. It's what they do to your happy home. Move it over, will ya, friend? Homewreckers, that's what they are!
Jock: Look here, laddie! Who are you to barge in?
Tramp: The voice of experience, buster. Just wait 'til Junior gets here. You feel the urge for a nice, comfortable scratch, and... "Put that dog out! He'll get fleas all over the baby!" You start barking at some strange mutt...
Tramp: "Stop that racket, you'll wake the baby!" And then... then they hit you on the room and board department. Oh, remember those nice, juicy cuts of beef? Forget 'em. Leftover baby food. And that nice, warm bed by the fire? A leaky dog house.
Lady: Oh, dear!
Tramp: [at the zoo] We better go through this place from A to Z. Apes? No, no, no use even asking them. They wouldn't understand.
Lady: They wouldn't?
Tramp: Uh-uh. Too closely related to humans. Oh-oh! Alligators. Now there's an idea!
[to the alligator about the muzzle]
Tramp: Say Al, do you suppose you could nip this contraption off for us?
Al the Alligator: [echoing] Glad to oblige...
[opens his huge mouth to snap off the muzzle, and Lady looks right into his jaws]
Tramp: Whoa! WHOA!
[pulls Lady away at the last second; a nearby hyena laughs at them]
Tramp: Huh. If anybody ever needed a muzzle, it's him.
Tramp: [preparing to leave] Well, friend, we'll be on our way now, so...
Beaver: Uh-uh-uh! Not so fast, sonny.
[puts on the muzzle]
Beaver: I'll have to make certain it's satisfactory before we settle on a price.
Tramp: Oh, no. It's all yours, friend. You can keep it.
Beaver: I can, eh?
Beaver: I can?
Lady: Uh-huh. It's a free sample.
Beaver: [very pleased] Well, thanks a lot. Thanks ever so...
[he slips and falls, dragging the log along; they land in the pond, where the log fits neatly over the dam spillway]
Beaver: [proudly] Say! It works swell!
Tramp: Now take the Schultzes here. Little Fritzy - that's me, Pidge - makes this his Monday home.
Lady: Monday home?
Tramp: [German accent] Ach, ja! Mondays is Mama Schultz cooking der Wienerschnitzel.
Tramp: Mmm-mmm. Delicious.
Tramp: [Irish accent] Now, O'Brien's here is where little Mike - sure'n that's me again, Pidge - comes of a Tuesday.
Lady: Of a Tuesday?
Tramp: [Continuing accent] Begorra, that's when they're after havin' the darlin' corned beef.
Tramp: You see, Pidge, when you're footloose and collar-free, well, you take nothing but the best.
Tramp: Not to change the subject, but, um... ever chased chickens?
Lady: I should say not!
Tramp: Oh-ho, then you've never lived!
Lady: But we shouldn't.
Tramp: I know. That's what makes it fun. Aw, come on, kid. Start building some memories.
Toughy: Hey! Hey, youse guys, look. Poor Nutsy is takin' the long walk.
Lady: Where is he taking him?
Toughy: Through the one-way door, sister.
Lady: You... you mean he's...?
[Toughy nods sadly]
[Trying to explain to Lady that Darling is going to have a baby]
Trusty: You see, miss Lady, there comes a time in the life of all humans when uh... well as they put it... uh, the birds and the bees?
[Lady looks bewildered]
Trusty: Or well... uh... the stork? You know? Uh, no...? Well uh...
Jock: What he's tryin' to say, Lassie, is, Darling is expecting a wee bairn!
Trusty: He means a baby, miss Lady.
[Lady approaches the baby's room deep in thought and singing to herself]
Lady: What is a baby? I just can't understand. It must be something wonderful. It must be something grand. 'Cause everybody's smiling, in a kind and wistful way, and they haven't even noticed that I'm around today.
[Jim Dear comes down the stairs whistling, doesn't notice her]
Lady: What is a baby, anyway? Oh what is a baby? I must find out today, what makes Jim Dear and Darling... act... this... way...
Beaver: [struggling with a log] Ah-ah-ah, busy sonny, busy! Gotta slide this sycamore to the - ung - swamp!
Tramp: But this'll only take a second of your time...
Beaver: Only a second! Listen, listen sonny, you realize every second, seventy centimeters of water is wasted over that spillway?
Tramp: Yeah, but...
Beaver: Gotta get this log movin', sonny, gotta get it movin'! T'ain't the cuttin' take's the time, it's the doggone haulin'!
Tramp: [looking from the leash to a branch on the log] The hauling! Exactly! Now, what you need is...
Beaver: [chewing through part of the log] Better bisect this section here...
Tramp: What you need is a log puller.
Tramp: I SAID A LOG PULLER!
Beaver: I ain't deef, sonny. There's no need to... Did you say log puller?
Tramp: [like a salesman] Haha, and by lucky coincidence, you see before you, modeled by the lovely little lady, the new, improved, patented, handy-dandy, never-fail little giant log puller. The busy beaver's friend!
Beaver: You don't say!
Tramp: Guaranteed not to wear, tear, rip or ravel. Turn around, sister, and show the customer the merchandise. And it cuts log-hauling time sixty-six percent!
Beaver: Sixty-six percent, eh? Figure that! Well, how's it work?
Tramp: [demonstrating] Why, it's no work at all! You merely slip this ring over the limb like this, and haul it off!
Beaver: Uh, say, d'you mind if I slip it on for size?
Tramp: Help yourself, friend, help yourself!
Beaver: Okay! Hehe. Don't mind if I do! Uh... how'd'ya get the carn-starnded thing off, sonny?
Tramp: Glad you brought that up, friend, glad you brought that up! To remove it, simply place the strap between your teeth...
Beaver: Like this?
Tramp: Kee-rect, friend. Now bite HARD!
[beaver bites the muzzle off]
Tramp: You see?
Lady: It's off!
Beaver: Say, that *is* simple!
Narrator: End of Part One. Intermission.
[short clip of the Beatles frolicking in a meadow]
Narrator: End of Intermission. Part Two.
[cut to a nurse bathing Ahme's sister]
Lady: Where you been, eh? You been up at that temple again, ain't ya? You're as bad as your sister, coming home from work all hours and all colors.
Narrator: End of Part Two. Part Three: Later That Evening.
Lady: I hope Satan himself burns the flesh from your miserable bones.
Hunt: Good God, Lady.
[Thomas and Lady are approaching the collapsing viaduct]
Grandpa Burnett Stone: Well, Lady; This is your Shining Time, too.
Lady: I hope so.
[Lady gets her face in the Magic Railroad]
Lady: So, Burnett. You didn't forget about magic, it's safe inside you.
[the conductors finally get their supply of magic gold dust]
Thomas: Lady, you're a really helpful engine.
Lady: And helping each other, brings to life the magic in all of us.
[to Ricky, while he's listening to "Wild Thing" on the jukebox]
Lady: Wild thing, you make my heart sing.
Kate Peltzer: [enters elevator]
Elevator: [a bit garbled] Please state your desired floor.
Kate Peltzer: Thirty-Eight
Gremlins: Thirty Eight. *Thirty Eight* *Thirty Eight!*
Gremlins: Going up.
Kate Peltzer: [worried/unsure as the elevator starts going up at an alarming rate. The floor number indicator counts up faster and faster and soon passes floor 38, soon she panics] Elevator stop!
[the elevator stops with a jolt]
Kate Peltzer: [after a beat] Sound alarm.
Gremlins: [imitating alarm] Erhn! Ehrn! Erhn! Erhn!
Gremlins: [after a short while we are taken back to the scene where Kate is still stuck in the elevator worried] HA HA HA
Gremlins: [Grabbing Kate's Legs] Make a wish!
Gremlins: [Grabbing Kate's Hair] Ah, Hair!
Elevator: [talking gibberish and then one says clearly] Going down.
Lady: [the elevator goes down at an alarming rate. Many gremlins are on the outside of the lift as it rushes down and then crashes splattering them into a green mush]
Elevator: [all garbled up and dying as the doors open to reveal a couple and Kate about half a floor down inside covered with green gremlin blood] The elevator doors have opened. Please watch your step.
Kate Peltzer: [Kate looks around at the destruction and is left dazed] Uh, Uh
Lady: We'll... we'll get the next one.
Billy: [at the law office] You know what I wanna be when I grow up?
Billy: A fisherman. I want to go fishing everyday 'till I'm rich so I can move right next to the jailhouse so I can be close to my mommy. She got arrested for drugs again, so she has to go back.
Lady: I'm sorry to hear that.
[gives Billy an awkward look]
Lady: [during the Springtime for Hitler performance] Will you please, shut up!
Franz Liebkind: You shut up! You are the audience! I am the author! I OUTRANK you!
Lady: [to her dog] Lie down, Chauncey. Lie down. Lie down, Chauncey!
Lady: He's deaf.
Chauncey: I'm not deaf. I just can't stand listening to her.
Tommy Warshaw: Hey! My mom says it's crazy in there! She says you've got rats, roaches... lesbianism...
Lady: [laughing] I guess I'm safe from that last one. I'm in solitary.
Lady: All of these things are... are like memories Sometimes I feel like I'm digging in my own ashes.
Guy#1: Is that your little girl there?
Lady: Yeah, stay away from her.
Guy#2: Don't get too attached to her. In about fifteen minutes, she's gonna stab you to death with a gardening tool.
Lady: What kind of tool?
Guy#2: Hand-spade. And then she's gonna eat your leg. Gross!
Lady: I want a tuna sandwich! Tuuuna!
Lady: [about to kill the other lady] Hand me the spade.
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