King Koopa Quotes in Super Mario Bros. (1993)

King Koopa: [bathing in mud] Do you know what I love about mud? It's clean and it's dirty at the same time.

Mario: What single-celled organism did *you* evolve from?

King Koopa: [indicates an evolution chart of a dinosaur becoming a man] Tyrannosaurus Rex, the lizard king, thank you very much.

King Koopa: I am very disappointed in you, cousins.

Spike: Fascist!

Iggy: Oppressor of the proletariat!

King Koopa: Guy in charge!

King Koopa: Give me that Devo-Gun!

[Koopa tries to shoot Mario, but instead hits Scapelli, who is transformed into a chimpanzee. Koopa points at him and laughs]

King Koopa: Monkey!

Sergeant Simon: Nobody touches President Koopa.

Luigi: [rubbing his eyes in pain] But he said he was...

King Koopa: -One evil, egg sucking son of a snake. Did I lie?

King Koopa: I'll kill that plumber.

King Koopa: Now... where's the rock?

[Iggy and Spike look at each other, then at Koopa]

Iggy: [together] Rock, sir?

Spike: [together] Rock, sir?

King Koopa: The meteorite piece that she wears around her neck, and I told you not to forget it!

Spike: That rock!

Iggy: I told you not to forget it!

King Koopa: And I told *you* to remind him! Without that rock, the meteorite lays dormant! I'll not be able to merge the dimensions! Where is it?

Iggy: [together] ... The plumbers took it.

Spike: [together] ... The plumbers took it.

King Koopa: [whispers] Plumbers?

[to Lena]

King Koopa: Plumber alert!

King Koopa: You may think of evolution as... an upward process. Things evolve from primeval slime, up to single-celled organisms, up to... intelligent life. De-evolution, of course, works the opposite way. Back to... simpler forms. For instance, even our musical friend Toad... can become... a loyal child of the royal family: Goombas!

[snickers]

[Iggy and Spike have become more intelligent]

King Koopa: Both of you, go to the desert!

Iggy: Excuse me, excuse me. That hardly seems logical, does it? Perhaps we should stay here and formulate our own strategy. Tete-tete, inner circle, that sort of thing.

King Koopa: Here's what's logical to me: If you do not return with the plumbers and the rock... I shall personally... kill you.

Iggy: ...We're going.

King Koopa: Hand out the devolution guns! Prepare for destiny!... Where's my pizza?

King Koopa: Look at this place. Pathetic. It gets worse every day. The humans on the other side have a world full of resources. Ready for the taking. Imagine: an endless supply of food, clean air, water. And what are we stuck with? This... pithole, germs everywhere, fungus. For 65 million years, we've been exhiled here after the meteorite stuck while mammals roamed freely in the other dimension! Ha! Well not for long!

King Koopa: Don't fight it. You know you've always been uncomfortable in the human world, and you at least suspected that you were...

[tongue flicks in and out like a snake's]

King Koopa: ?different.

Princess Daisy: I suspected a lot of things, but not that I...

King Koopa: That you were descended from the dinosaurs? And you know what they say about little girls, don't you? Hm? They say they never forget the first time they're kissed by a lizard.

[face starts to look more reptilian]

Princess Daisy: You must be the great Koopa.

King Koopa: That I am. Ruler of all that you see.

[indicates a globe that's nothing but desert and one single city]

King Koopa: A few miserable streets and an endless desert.

King Koopa: [pretending to be an attourney for the arrested Marios] I'm Larry Lazard, of "Lazard, Lazard, Conda, Dactyl, & Cohen".

[Koopa addresses the King that is in the form of fungus that's enveloping the city]

King Koopa: My my. You have let yourself go. You see? I'm not such a bad guy. You always wanted to be everywhere, well now you are.

[chuckles]

King Koopa: And let me tell you something: you can go ahead and choke this little "mushroom kingdom" all you want. Cuz I'm outta here! I'm out into the *bigger* world! I got me a couple of plumbers bringing me the rest of the meteorite. Soon to be dead plumbers. And by the way, you really ought to try to pull yourself back together again.

[chuckles]

King Koopa: Slime bucket!

King Koopa: I've just found out that I have saboteurs in the tower! I still do not have the meteorite piece! I'm about to loose everything! We can talk about this later, if later even occurs!

Sergeant Simon: Sir? Sir!

King Koopa: What is it?

Sergeant Simon: The Goombas are dancing again.

King Koopa: [enraged] Deal with it!

[King Koopa has a weapon aimed at the Mario Bros. in one hand and a walkie-talkie in the other]

King Koopa: Too late, humans!

Pizza Delivery Man: [over walkie-talkie] Sir, your pizza's here.

King Koopa: Not now!

[to Mario and Luigi]

King Koopa: Looks like I win!

Iggy: Between us, Spike doesn't have a thought in his brain, sir!

Spike: Ha, ha, ha! He's a liar, sir. Between us, Iggy doesn't have a brain in his head!

King Koopa: I agree.

King Koopa: My, my, someone got up on the wrong side of the nest this morning.

[Koopa has had Toad de-evolved into a Goomba]

Luigi: That's Toad?

King Koopa: Why yes. Loyal, lethal... and stupid.

King Koopa: I love you Princess!

Princess Peach Toadstool: You only love me for my kingdom, so leave!

King Koopa: That is not true Princess, that's not true!

Princess Peach Toadstool: Why should I believe you? Hell, you sent your troopas after me!