King Jaffe Joffer Quotes in Coming to America (1988)

King Jaffe Joffer: Do not alert him to my presence. I will deal with him myself.

[homage to Darth Vader]

King Jaffe Joffer: Semmi, you have disgraced yourself, and you must be punished. Confine yourself to our royal suite at the Waldorf-Astoria.

[to Oha]

King Jaffe Joffer: And see that he puts on some decent attire.

[to the rose bearers]

King Jaffe Joffer: And I want you to bathe him thoroughly.

Semmi: Oh, thank you, Your Majesty.

King Jaffe Joffer: You're not Akeem.

Landlord: I know that.

King Jaffe Joffer: [looking at Akeem's award from McDowell's] What is this?

Landlord: A photograph.

King Jaffe Joffer: What is this - McDowell's?

Landlord: It's a place on Queens Boulevard. I think he works there.

King Jaffe Joffer: [offended] My son *works*?

King Jaffe Joffer: So you see, my son, there is a very fine line between love and nausea.

Prince Akeem: But when I marry, I want the woman to love me for who I am, not because of what I am.

King Jaffe Joffer: And who are you?

Prince Akeem: I am a man who has never tied his own shoes before!

King Jaffe Joffer: Wrong. You are a PRINCE who has never tied his shoes. Believe me. I tied my own shoes once. It is an overrated experience.

King Jaffe Joffer: Time does fly fast, my son. It seems only yesterday I ordered your first diaper changed. Now you're a man about to be married. She will give you much pleasure, don't you think?

Prince Akeem: I'm not sure if I'm ready.

King Jaffe Joffer: Son, I know we never talked about this. I always assumed you had sex with your bathers. I know I do.

King Jaffe Joffer: Our son cannot consort with such a girl.

Cleo McDowell: Now wait a minute!

King Jaffe Joffer: I know you have been inconvenienced. I am prepared to compensate you. Shall we say one million American dollars?

Cleo McDowell: No way.

King Jaffe Joffer: Very well then. Two million.

Cleo McDowell: You don't have enough money to buy my daughter off.

King Jaffe Joffer: [laughing] Nonsense.

Queen Aoleon: Jaffe, apologize to Mr. McDowell.

King Jaffe Joffer: I will do no such thing. The man is beneath me and so is his daughter.

Cleo McDowell: I don't care who you are. This is America, Jack. Say another word about Lisa, and I'll break my foot off in your royal ass.

Clarence: Hey, what's up, brother? You a little late for the Christmas pageant.

King Jaffe Joffer: I am King Jaffe Joffer, ruler of Zamunda.

Clarence: Have a seat. Chair number two will be ready in a second.

Saul: [touching the King's clothing, made from a stuffed lion] This is beautiful. What is that? Velvet?

[Prince Akeem gets up from his end of the long dining room table]

Queen Aoleon: What is he doing?

King Jaffe Joffer: I think he's coming down here to talk to us.

King Jaffe Joffer: It is of no consequence to me.

King Jaffe Joffer: I am looking for my son Akeem.