Kim Jong Il Quotes in Team America: World Police (2004)


Kim Jong Il Quotes:

  • Kim Jong Il: You are worthress, Arec Barrwin!

  • Kim Jong Il: I was sent from pranet Xiron to conquer the Earf / I had a twiffic pran - I thought it would work / I tried to get the Earfrings all to kill each other, y'see / But it all went wrong and now I must decree / You are worthress Arec Barrwin / You are worthress Arec Barrwin / You have faiwred in every way / and now my stock in you has fawren / Your career is stawrin' / and you're worthress Arec Barrwin / That's why I brew your head off / And your chirdren are all bawrin' / Pranet Xiron is inhabited with Xipods rike me / But arso with Balmacs who are giant bees / The Xipods and the Balmacs are at constant war / So we wanted a new home and that's what Earf was for / But you are worthress Arec Barrwin / You are worthress Arec Barrwin / You fucked up my whole plan / and now Xiron is smeared with Balmac porren / Your garbage needs some hawring / and you're worthress Arec Barrwin / Now I must return home a faiwrure / I'm afraid the pit of Cryrock is cawrin'.

  • Kim Jong Il: Hans Brix? Oh no! Oh, herro. Great to see you again, Hans!

    Hans Blix: Mr. Il, I was supposed to be allowed to inspect your palace today, but your guards won't let me enter certain areas.

    Kim Jong Il: Hans, Hans, Hans! We've been frew this a dozen times. I don't have any weapons of mass destwuction, OK Hans?

    Hans Blix: Then let me look around, so I can ease the UN's collective mind. I'm sorry, but the UN must be firm with you. Let me in, or else.

    Kim Jong Il: Or else what?

    Hans Blix: Or else we will be very angry with you... and we will write you a letter, telling you how angry we are.

    Kim Jong Il: OK, Hans. I'll show you. Stand to your reft.

    Hans Blix: [Moves to the left]

    Kim Jong Il: A rittle more.

    Hans Blix: [Moves to the left again]

    Kim Jong Il: Good.

    [Opens up trap, Hans falls in]

  • Kim Jong Il: Herro!

  • Joe: Your plan will fail! You'll never keep the world leaders distracted here for 9 hours!

    Kim Jong Il: Oh no? I've got Arec Barrwin!

    Joe: Dear God!

  • Kim Jong Il: I'm so Ronery / So ronery / So ronery and sadry arone / There's no one / Just me onry / Sitting on my rittle throne / I work rearry hard and make up get prans / but, nobody listens, no one understands / Seems rike no one takes me serirousry / And so, I'm ronery / A rittle ronery / Poor rittle me / There's no one I can rerate to / Feewr rike a biwd in a cage / It's kinda siwry / but, not reawry / because, it's fiwring my body with rage / I'm the smartest, most crever, most physicawry fit / but, nobody erse seems to rearrize it / When I can the worrd maybe they'rr notice me / And untiwr then, I'wr be ronery / Yeaaaaah, a rittle ronery / Poor rittle me...

  • Kim Jong Il: [to Lisa] When you see Arec Barrwin, you see the true ugriness of human nature.

  • Kim Jong Il: Now you see, the changing of the worrd is inevitabre!

    Lisa: I'm sorry, it's what?

    Kim Jong Il: Inevit, inevitabre.

    Lisa: One more time.

    Kim Jong Il: [shouts] Inevitabre! Things are inevitabrey going to change! Goddamnit, open your fucking ears!

  • Kim Jong Il: [from animated storyboards] And take the girl to my bedroom.

    Kim Jong Il: [as Koreans start releasing Sarah] No, not that one! The pretty one!'

    Sarah: Bitch

    Sarah: [Calling after Kim Jong Il, Korean guards and Lisa] That's right, take the pretty one instead of the one who has something to offer!

  • Kim Jong Il: Why is evawyrone so fuckin' stoopid?

  • [Repeated line]

    Kim Jong Il: Do you have any idea how fucking busy I am?

  • Kim Jong Il: It will be 911 times 2356.

    Chris: My God, that's... I don't even know what that is!

    Kim Jong Il: Nobody does!

  • [last lines]

    Lisa: Wait a minute! Look!

    [a cockroach crawls out of Kim Jong-Il's mouth and towards a spaceship]

    Kim Jong Il: You have not heard the rast of Kim Jong-Il! I will return! You shall see. I will be back!

    [enters spaceship and launches out of the palace]

    Kim Jong Il: So rong, Earthrings!

    Gary Johnston: We'll be here waiting for you, Kim Jong-Il!

    Chris: All right, you guys. I hate to break this little party, but there are still a lot of bad guys out there.

    Gary Johnston: Well, then let's go show the bad guys the police are back in force.

    Lisa: Fuck, yeah.

    Gary Johnston: Fuck, yeah.

  • Kim Jong Il: Now you see, the new world is inevitable.

    Lisa: It's what?

    Kim Jong Il: Inevit - inevitable.

    Lisa: One more time?

    Kim Jong Il: Inevitable! Things are inevitably going to change! Goddamnit, open your fuckin' ears!

  • Kim Jong Il: Korean dialogue

    Translator: He asks what part of the deal you did not understand. He says perhaps his translator did not make it clear to you. He says he should fire his translator?

  • Kim Jong Il: [to terrorists on a giant monitor] Okay. Who brew up Panama Canal?

    Terrorist: We were upset about Cairo.

    Kim Jong Il: Goddamnit, how many times do I have to tehr you? You don't use the WMDs untihr you see the signahr! I have worked ten years on this pran! It is a very precise, and a compricated pran! I am sick of you terrorists fucking it up! Now take the weapons where I tord you and wait for the *goddamn* signahr this time! Goodbye!

    [shuts off monitor, and cools down]

    Kim Jong Il: God. Why is everyone so fucking stupid?

  • Kim Jong Il: I'm afraid your world is over!

    Kim Jong Il: [Presses button. A countdown appears on the display]

    Kim Jong Il: five minutes.

    Kim Jong Il: Yes! A ticking clock!

  • Kim Jong Il: Now take your weapons of Mass Destruction, and get the fuck outta here!

Browse more character quotes from Team America: World Police (2004)