Kim Jong Il Quotes in Team America: World Police (2004)
Kim Jong Il Quotes:
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Kim Jong Il: You are worthress, Arec Barrwin!
-- Kim Jong Il -
Kim Jong Il: I was sent from pranet Xiron to conquer the Earf / I had a twiffic pran - I thought it would work / I tried to get the Earfrings all to kill each other, y'see / But it all went wrong and now I must decree / You are worthress Arec Barrwin / You are worthress Arec Barrwin / You have faiwred in every way / and now my stock in you has fawren / Your career is stawrin' / and you're worthress Arec Barrwin / That's why I brew your head off / And your chirdren are all bawrin' / Pranet Xiron is inhabited with Xipods rike me / But arso with Balmacs who are giant bees / The Xipods and the Balmacs are at constant war / So we wanted a new home and that's what Earf was for / But you are worthress Arec Barrwin / You are worthress Arec Barrwin / You fucked up my whole plan / and now Xiron is smeared with Balmac porren / Your garbage needs some hawring / and you're worthress Arec Barrwin / Now I must return home a faiwrure / I'm afraid the pit of Cryrock is cawrin'.
-- Kim Jong Il -
Kim Jong Il: Hans Brix? Oh no! Oh, herro. Great to see you again, Hans!
Hans Blix: Mr. Il, I was supposed to be allowed to inspect your palace today, but your guards won't let me enter certain areas.
Kim Jong Il: Hans, Hans, Hans! We've been frew this a dozen times. I don't have any weapons of mass destwuction, OK Hans?
Hans Blix: Then let me look around, so I can ease the UN's collective mind. I'm sorry, but the UN must be firm with you. Let me in, or else.
Kim Jong Il: Or else what?
Hans Blix: Or else we will be very angry with you... and we will write you a letter, telling you how angry we are.
Kim Jong Il: OK, Hans. I'll show you. Stand to your reft.
Hans Blix: [Moves to the left]
Kim Jong Il: A rittle more.
Hans Blix: [Moves to the left again]
Kim Jong Il: Good.
[Opens up trap, Hans falls in]
-- Kim Jong Il -
Kim Jong Il: Herro!
-- Kim Jong Il -
Joe: Your plan will fail! You'll never keep the world leaders distracted here for 9 hours!
Kim Jong Il: Oh no? I've got Arec Barrwin!
Joe: Dear God!
-- Kim Jong Il -
Kim Jong Il: I'm so Ronery / So ronery / So ronery and sadry arone / There's no one / Just me onry / Sitting on my rittle throne / I work rearry hard and make up get prans / but, nobody listens, no one understands / Seems rike no one takes me serirousry / And so, I'm ronery / A rittle ronery / Poor rittle me / There's no one I can rerate to / Feewr rike a biwd in a cage / It's kinda siwry / but, not reawry / because, it's fiwring my body with rage / I'm the smartest, most crever, most physicawry fit / but, nobody erse seems to rearrize it / When I can the worrd maybe they'rr notice me / And untiwr then, I'wr be ronery / Yeaaaaah, a rittle ronery / Poor rittle me...
-- Kim Jong Il -
Kim Jong Il: [to Lisa] When you see Arec Barrwin, you see the true ugriness of human nature.
-- Kim Jong Il -
Kim Jong Il: Now you see, the changing of the worrd is inevitabre!
Lisa: I'm sorry, it's what?
Kim Jong Il: Inevit, inevitabre.
Lisa: One more time.
Kim Jong Il: [shouts] Inevitabre! Things are inevitabrey going to change! Goddamnit, open your fucking ears!
-- Kim Jong Il -
Kim Jong Il: [from animated storyboards] And take the girl to my bedroom.
Kim Jong Il: [as Koreans start releasing Sarah] No, not that one! The pretty one!'
Sarah: Bitch
Sarah: [Calling after Kim Jong Il, Korean guards and Lisa] That's right, take the pretty one instead of the one who has something to offer!
-- Kim Jong Il -
Kim Jong Il: Why is evawyrone so fuckin' stoopid?
-- Kim Jong Il -
[Repeated line]
Kim Jong Il: Do you have any idea how fucking busy I am?
-- Kim Jong Il -
Kim Jong Il: It will be 911 times 2356.
Chris: My God, that's... I don't even know what that is!
Kim Jong Il: Nobody does!
-- Kim Jong Il -
[last lines]
Lisa: Wait a minute! Look!
[a cockroach crawls out of Kim Jong-Il's mouth and towards a spaceship]
Kim Jong Il: You have not heard the rast of Kim Jong-Il! I will return! You shall see. I will be back!
[enters spaceship and launches out of the palace]
Kim Jong Il: So rong, Earthrings!
Gary Johnston: We'll be here waiting for you, Kim Jong-Il!
Chris: All right, you guys. I hate to break this little party, but there are still a lot of bad guys out there.
Gary Johnston: Well, then let's go show the bad guys the police are back in force.
Lisa: Fuck, yeah.
Gary Johnston: Fuck, yeah.
-- Kim Jong Il -
Kim Jong Il: Now you see, the new world is inevitable.
Lisa: It's what?
Kim Jong Il: Inevit - inevitable.
Lisa: One more time?
Kim Jong Il: Inevitable! Things are inevitably going to change! Goddamnit, open your fuckin' ears!
-- Kim Jong Il -
Kim Jong Il: Korean dialogue
Translator: He asks what part of the deal you did not understand. He says perhaps his translator did not make it clear to you. He says he should fire his translator?
-- Kim Jong Il -
Kim Jong Il: [to terrorists on a giant monitor] Okay. Who brew up Panama Canal?
Terrorist: We were upset about Cairo.
Kim Jong Il: Goddamnit, how many times do I have to tehr you? You don't use the WMDs untihr you see the signahr! I have worked ten years on this pran! It is a very precise, and a compricated pran! I am sick of you terrorists fucking it up! Now take the weapons where I tord you and wait for the *goddamn* signahr this time! Goodbye!
[shuts off monitor, and cools down]
Kim Jong Il: God. Why is everyone so fucking stupid?
-- Kim Jong Il -
Kim Jong Il: I'm afraid your world is over!
Kim Jong Il: [Presses button. A countdown appears on the display]
Kim Jong Il: ...in five minutes.
Kim Jong Il: Yes! A ticking clock!
-- Kim Jong Il -
Kim Jong Il: Now take your weapons of Mass Destruction, and get the fuck outta here!
-- Kim Jong Il
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