Kim Baker Quotes in Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (2016)

Kim Baker: What are we talking about, Fahim?

Fahim Ahmadzai: The human body produces its own heroin. In fact, when the fight-or-flight instinct is activated in the hypothalamu, your body releases endorphins, dopamine and norepinephrine. That is heroin, cocaine and amphetamine, all at once.

Kim Baker: Okay, great. Are we having the Afghan version of this conversation, where in New York we would have gotten to the point, like, five minutes ago?

Fahim Ahmadzai: There is a reason to believe that a person can get addicted to this type of high. Soldiers, athletes...

Kim Baker: War reporters. Got it.

Fahim Ahmadzai: An addict always needs a greater and greater dosage. And then people make mistakes, people get hurt.

Kim Baker: I get it. You're a newlywed. I can probably get them to go up to $125 a day.

Fahim Ahmadzai: Let us have the American version of this conversation.

Kim Baker: Okay.

Fahim Ahmadzai: I do not want to work with you anymore.

Kim Baker: I'm wondering if you can give me something... on background, just about the security situation here and the state of the war in general.

General Hollanek: Yeah, I can give you something... this war's like fucking a gorilla, you keep on going until the gorilla wants to stop.

Kim Baker: I think I can paraphrase that.

General Hollanek: Knock yourself out.

Kim Baker: [Putting on blue burqa] It's so pretty I don't even want to vote.

Tall Brian: Brian Hooper. Tall Brian. I'm your shooter.

Kim Baker: So, is there another Brian around here somewhere that you're taller than?

Tall Brian: Short Brian. Works for Reuters.

Kim Baker: Couldn't one of you just be Brian?

Tall Brian: Fair enough, didn't think of that. Also, Short Brian's dead.

General Hollanek: While you're outside the wire with my men, you will in no way distract them. Understood?

Kim Baker: Are you asking me not to sleep with your soldiers?

General Hollanek: No, not soldiers. Marines. You're not here to sleep with or perform jobs of any type on my Marines.

Kim Baker: What inspired you to enlist originally?

Lt. Stern: I'm a big fan of the movie Predator with Arnold Schwarzenegger. We're the same height.

Tanya Vanderpoel: In Afghanistan, you're a serious piece of ass.

Kim Baker: Thank you. Ohh, that's nice.

Tanya Vanderpoel: Because you're what, I mean, you're like, a seven, a six, seven in New York? Here, you're a nine. Borderline ten. It's called "Kabul Cute."

Kim Baker: What are you here, like a 15?

Tanya Vanderpoel: Yeah.

Kim Baker: No, you are a bad friend. You are a bad friend. In America, I would get a book deal out of this shit! You can't just do this, OK? I haven't been on the air in months! My best friend here, almost died, and I am jealous of her. And I am just... Fuck this! All of it!

Kim Baker: It's probably just a wedding somewhere nearby. They like to shoot off guns at weddings here. You get it, you're from Florida.

Tanya Vanderpoel: Can I fuck your security guys?

Kim Baker: What?... By all means, yeah.

Tanya Vanderpoel: Yeah? I mean, I wouldn't ask. It's just that for some reason, the VBC use an American contractor and, I mean, no offense, but they're all, like goatees and "fat-strong".

Tom: *All right. Enough is Enough. You're slacking on your chores. You're fighting in school*. Things are out of control. As of this moment, you are all grounded*

Mike: What's grounded?

Tom: What's grounded? I'll tell you what ground it is. Except for attending games, you go to school, you come home from school, you do your homework, you do your chores, you go to bed and that's it.

Sarah Baker: But that

Tom: Oh yes Sarah, I know that sucks, but that's the way it is!

Jake: Does this mean we can't go to Dylan's birthday party?

Tom: That's exactly what it means.

Kim Baker: But we brought his presents already.

Tom: *You are going to miss it

Tom: Kids are quiet

Tom: Now, go to bed.

Kim Baker: Hey Nigel! Wanna play darts?