Kevin Brown/K Quotes in Men in Black II (2002)
Kevin Brown/K Quotes:
[about the driver-shaped airbag]
Kevin Brown/K: Does that come standard?
Agent J: Actually it came with a black dude, but he kept getting pulled over.
Agent J: Wait, what are you doing?
Kevin Brown/K: I always do the driving.
Agent J: Oh, no...
Kevin Brown/K: I remember that.
Agent J: No, what you remember is that you used to drive that old busted jawn. See, I drive the new hotness.
[pointing at Kay]
Agent J: Old and busted.
[pointing at himself]
Agent J: New hotness.
[Kay looks at Jay for a second, then J hands the keys over]
Agent J: Old, busted hotness...
[after K shoots Jeebs in the head]
Agent J: You're back.
Kevin Brown/K: No.
Agent J: Then how did you know that his head would grow back?
Kevin Brown/K: [surprised] It grows back?
Agent J: Let's put it on.
Kevin Brown/K: What?
Agent J: The last suit you'll ever wear... again.
Newton: A neuralize...
[Agent J neuralizes Newton]
Agent J: Ok. First, get some contact lenses, cause those jaunts look like they could pick up cable. Second, take her to Cambodia, get her a lobster dinner. Pay more than a dollar. Third, the second y'all get back from Cambodia, move your bum ass outta your mom's house. Boy, you like forty years old.
Kevin Brown/K: Agent J?
Agent J: Aight! Oh, and there ain't no such thing as aliens or Men in Black.
Newton, Hailey: You wanna go to Cambodia?
Newton: Hey, Mom?
[Newton picks up a shovel]
Jeebs: You remember me?
Kevin Brown/K: Can't say I do. I'm pretty good with faces,
[Points at Jeebs's nose]
Kevin Brown/K: I think I'd remember that.
Jeebs: [Chuckles] The great K is a neutral.
Kevin Brown/K: You're standing between me and my memories, pal. You have this deneuralyzer thing or not?
Jeebs: Mmm, no. Brushed out.
[J and K stare at him]
Jeebs: Can't help you.
[They continue staring]
Jeebs: Don't got it...
[J and K continue to stare. Jeebs cracks]
Jeebs: Even if I did... If it doesn't work, K dies, you blow my head off! If it does work, I brought back K who, just for the fun of it, blows my head off! So, what's MY incentive?
[K points his gun at Jeebs' head]
Jeebs: [weak laugh] Okay homey, I keep it downstairs next to the snowblower.
[K smiles, satisfied]
Kevin Brown/K: Why don't you go get me some coffee?
Agent J: Oh, yeah sure, How do ya take it? Black? Couple cubes of kiss-my-ass?
Agent J: Kid? While you were off licking stamps I saved the world from a Crelon invasion.
Kevin Brown/K: The Crelons are the Backstreet Boys of the universe. What'd they do, throw snowballs at you?
[J takes Kevin/K into the Deneuralizer room]
Agent J: The Deneuralizer. In a few moments, transverse magneto energy will surge through your brain, unlocking information hidden deep and dormant that could hold the key to Earth's very survival.
Kevin Brown/K: Okay.
[pointing at the deneuralizer]
Kevin Brown/K: What's that thing?
Agent J: Didn't your mother ever give you a Gameboy?
Kevin Brown/K: WHAT is a Gameboy?
Kevin Brown/K: We are who we are... even if we sometimes forget it.
Agent J: You don't remember me, but we used to work together...
Kevin Brown/K: I never worked in a funeral home.
Agent J: Look, I know you're a little scared. And I'm gonna keep it real with you, I'm a little scared too.
Kevin Brown/K: I'm not scared.
Agent J: Me neither. I just thought we was bonding.
Agent J: Whoo! Flushed! Yeah, man, back when you was an agent, you used to love gettin' flushed. Yeah, every Saturday night, you'd be like "flush me, J! Flush me!" and I'd be like "Naw... " You can't quit on me now, K.
Kevin Brown/K: I save to world, you tell me why I stare at the stars.
Agent J: Cool.
[after Jay shows Kevin/Kay that every other employee in the post office is an alien]
Kevin Brown/K: The wife and I went to Vegas and saw Siegfried and Roy make a pair of white tigers fly around the room. Your act's nothing special, slick.
Agent J: Just about everybody who works in this post office is an alien.
[Opens up the aail sorter, revealing that there is an alien with a cigarette sorting the mail inside]
Kevin Brown/K: [takes the cigarette out of the alien's mouth] No smoking!
[moves off, the alien puts another cigarette in his mouth and continues to sort the mail]
Kevin Brown/K: How ya doing?
Agent J: Good.
Kevin Brown/K: Listen, we've all been there. The girl is gone and it hurts. Wanna talk about it?
Agent J: No.
Kevin Brown/K: I can help.
Agent J: No.
Zed: [walks into the room] Still sulking?
Kevin Brown/K: [at the same time as J] Yeah.
Agent J: [at the same time as K] No.
Zed: You miss her, it happens to all of us. There was this young, hot thing I knew once. When our bodies were intwined, in the positions of the Kamasutra...
Agent J: Zed!
[Grins and chuckles]
Agent J: Come on, man! Damn!
Frank the Pug: [walks in] I'll tell you about dames. They say they wanna be scratched behind the ears, but what they REALLY want is...
Agent J: Hey! Come on...
Frank the Pug: What? Still sitting shiva? Want my advice?
Agent J: No.
Agent J: No advice...
Agent J: [to K] ... no talking...
Kevin Brown/K: [shows a self-portrait with a UFO in the background] Look at that, weird huh?
Agent J: [hands it back] Yeah, you're smiling.
Kevin Brown/K: What's this?
[Pokes his finger into a suspended sphere of water]
Tiny Alien: [a massive finger is looming out of the sky] All is lost! All is lost!
Agent J: Hey! Keep your hands in your pockets!
Agent J: How ya' feelin'?
Kevin Brown/K: Goodbye...
Agent J: K!
Jeebs: K, wait! I never got the updated software!
Jeebs: Still workin' off the 6.0...
Jeebs: Your brain needs to reboot!
Browse more character quotes from Men in Black II (2002)
Characters on Men in Black II (2002)
- Agent Kay
- Frank the Pug
- Captain Larry Bridgewater, The Motorman
- Grand Central Station Locker Creatures
- Undercover alien intelligence officer
- MIB Autopsy Agent
- MIB Guard
- Agent T
- Jack Jeebs
- Mysteries in History Narrator
- Peter Graves
- MIB Customs Agent
- Tiny Alien
- Central Park Agent