Kenneth Quotes in Dawn of the Dead (2004)

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Kenneth Quotes:

  • Andy: [Kenneth is about to leave the mall, when he spots Andy on the roof, holding his sign] INFO?

    Kenneth: [writing back] Fort Pastor GONE. No help coming.

    Andy: [writing back] So what's the BAD news?

  • CJ: Excuse me, not to shit on anyone's riff here, but let me see if I grasp this concept, okay? You're suggesting that we take some fucking parking shuttles and reinforce them with some aluminum siding, and then just head on over to the gun store where we watch our good friend Andy play some cowboy-movie, jump-on-the-covered-wagon bullshit? Then we're going to drive across the ruined city through a welcome committee of a few hundred thousand dead cannibals. All so we can sail off into the sunset on this fucking asshole's boat?

    [Points to Steve]

    CJ: Head for some island that for all we know doesn't even exist?

    Kenneth: Yeah.

    Tucker: Pretty much, yeah.

    Ana: [nods her head]

    Michael: Yeah.

    Steve: [gives a sarcastically enthusiastic "thumb up"]

    CJ: Okay. I'm in.

  • Michael: Truck's not gonna make it to Fort Pastor.

    Steve: No, forget the truck. That place is fucked, man. Bloodbath city.

    Kenneth: How do you know?

    Norma: We just came from there.

    Kenneth: Is everyone there dead?

    Steve: Or dead-ish.

    Kenneth: [more firm tone] Is everyone there dead?

    Steve: Yeah, in the sense that they all, sort of, fell down, and then... got up and... started eating each other.

  • Steve: [playing "Hollywood Squares" with Andy] Oh, oh. Rosie O'Donnell. Tell him to get Rosie.

    Kenneth: Oh, yeah. Rosie.

    Tucker: No, too easy. Give him something hard.

    Ana: You guys had really rough childhoods, didn't you? Little bit rocky?

    Steve: Hey, sweetheart. Let me tell you something. You, uh, you have my permission. I ever turn into one of those things? Do me a favor, blow my fucking head off.

    Ana: [nods] Oh, yeah, you can count on that.

  • Andre: [Deleted scene/Unrated Version scene]

    [to Michael]

    Andre: Hey, my man. You know, I hear you talking a lot. You know, you're always saying something. Who the fuck are you that we should listen, huh? What are you, like, in Special Ops? You in the Marines? What the fuck do you do?

    Michael: I sell televisions at Best Buy.

    Andre: [to Kenneth] Wow.

    [chuckling]

    Andre: Hey, Officer, how you like following a guy that sells TVs?

    Kenneth: About as much as I like following a guy who steals them. I'm not following anyone.

  • Michael: Officer, sir, you do not want to go that way.

    Ana: Why? What's that way?

    Michael: It's pretty bad.

    Andre: It's hell.

    Kenneth: What about Fort Pastor?

    Andre: Maybe if you had wings. The road's thick with those motherfuckers that way.

    Kenneth: How do you know?

    Andre: We just tried.

    Michael: Back when there was eight of us. We're going to the mall.

  • Kenneth: Fuck y'all!

  • Michael: You coming with us?

    Kenneth: Nah, you're coming with me. I've done this before.

  • Kenneth: You know how to use that?

    Michael: [pointing to the gun barrel] This is the dangerous end, right?

    Kenneth: [Taking the safety off] Now it is.

  • Kenneth: [pointing a gun at Ana] Say something.

    Ana: Please...

  • Michael: Those things are down there!

    CJ: Well, these are all your problems, not mine.

    Kenneth: If I put my foot up your ass, would that be your problem?

  • Kenneth: You sure you wanna do this?

    Michael: Yeah. I think I'll just stay here awhile. Enjoy the sunrise.

  • Kenneth: Nothing to say. Been to a lot of funerals. Folded the flag and given it to a lot of wives, and fathers, and kids. I told them how sorry I was. But that's not what I was really feeling. In the back of my mind, I was always saying, "Better them than me." But I don't believe that now. Because now I realize there are some things worse than death, and one of them is sitting here waiting to die.

  • Ana: Why are they coming here?

    Kenneth: Memory, maybe. Instinct. Maybe they're coming for us.

  • Kenneth: Oh, I get it. You saw hell yesterday. Now you're scared of going to hell for all the bad things you've done. I'll tell you what. Go in the stall, say five Hail Marys, wipe your ass, and you and God can call it even.

  • Mr. Kane: She called to tell me she was going to Barcelona

    Kenneth: What did she say?

    Mr. Kane: I'm going to Barcelona

  • Paul: I've never done a woman before.

    Kenneth: Oh, you shouldn't think of her as being a woman. No, that would be a mistake.

  • Kenneth: This'll take no time at all, it's like a paid holiday.

    Mallory Kane: This will take no time at all, starting when?

  • Mallory Kane: I don't even know how to play that. I don't wear the dress. Make Paul wear the dress.

    Kenneth: Well, I'll ask.

  • [last lines]

    Kenneth: To go it alone, or to go with a partner. When you choose a partner, you have to have compromises and sacrifices, but it's the price you pay. Do I want to follow my every whim and desire as I make my way through time and space? Absolutely. But at the end of the day, do I need someone when I'm doubting myself and I'm insecure, and *my* heart's failing me? Do I need someone who, when the heat gets hot, has my back?

    Darius: So, do you?

    Kenneth: I do.

  • [Darius approaches Kenneth, where he is stocking soup cans in the Grocery Outlet Bargain Market. She acts cool and nonchalant]

    Darius: Do you sell guns here?

    Kenneth: [surprised] What kind of guns?

    Darius: I don't know. Something sexy and affordable, with killing power?

    Kenneth: You should try C and R Guns in Wilkins. The state of Washington does not allow the sale of firearms in the business premises of a grocer.

    Darius: Hm. What about those... thingies? With the spiky ball on the end of a chain things, you know, and the...

    [She pantomimes whirling a flail around above her head]

    Darius: You have those?

    Kenneth: What exactly is the intended use? Is there a pest problem, or hunting?

    Darius: [sternly] Well, if your ad had been written properly, I may have a better idea of what I need.

    Kenneth: My ad?

    Darius: Yeah. It's pretty sloppy.

    Kenneth: Excuse me?

    Darius: You heard me. I hope you worked harder on your calibrations.

    Kenneth: [looking around cautiously, but sounding stung] My calibrations are flippin' pinpoint, okay?

    Darius: Hm.

    Kenneth: [still looking around and behind him] There are people after me. How do I know you don't work for them?

    Darius: Because I've never worked for anybody in my life.

    Kenneth: You ever face certain death?

    Darius: If it was so certain, I wouldn't be here, would I?

    [She takes a soup can from his hand and places it, without looking, unerringly in its spot on the shelf]

  • Kenneth: The mission has been updated. I'm going back for you now. All right. Do you trust me?

  • Kenneth: While I would like to maneuver through this world with an open heart and mind, sometimes it doesn't gain you favor. So I just need to be equipped with the necessary skill sets, guns, training, weapons, fighting - in case I encounter any obstacles that need to be defeated.

  • Kenneth: I really like your intensity. You're, like, no nonsense.

    Darius: Well, there's no sense in nonsense. Especially when the heat's on.

  • [Jeff approaches Kenneth's house. He clearly has not done enough research, and acts like a smiling, bobbing idiot]

    Jeff: Kenneth Calloway, right? Is that right? My name is Jeff.

    [He extends a hand to shake, which Kenneth ignores. Jeff is grinning too much]

    Jeff: Look, I saw your ad in the, uh, Classifieds. I want to know if you need a partner.

    Kenneth: What's your mission?

    Jeff: What do you mean, what's my mission?

    Kenneth: What's your reason for going back?

    [Jeff has changed from smiling maniacally to frowning]

    Jeff: Oh, well, who wouldn't want to go back? It's an amazing opportunity. To go back in time, you know? See gladiators, and watch dinosaurs with my own eyes. Have sex with a pilgrim? That's all I wanted. I want to go back. It's neat. Who wouldn't want to go back, Kenneth? YOU want to go back. Why do YOU want to go back? Well, do you need a partner?

    Kenneth: Can you look fear and danger in the eye?

    Jeff: That's an odd question.

    Kenneth: Have you ever stared fear and danger in the eye and said YES.

    Jeff: Sure.

    Kenneth: Get off my porch.

    Jeff: Let's start over. Come on, we can be pals. Let's go back in time.

    Kenneth: Man, that smile. What is that smile? You don't know pain, you don't know regret, you don't know...

    Jeff: [agreeing with everything and leaving with his arms raised] Okay. Well, look, it was really nice to meet you.

    Kenneth: [grimly] That's what I thought.

  • [Still at the grocery store:]

    Kenneth: This is a bad place to talk. I get off in, like, fifteen. Rendezvous?

    Darius: [confident but still cool] See you in eight.

    [She turns to walk away, but whirls suddenly to toss him a soup can he had not realized she had taken. Kenneth looks at it; she has written her phone number in strong black ink across a white space on the label. Kenneth's face is hard, but he is clearly impressed; he thinks he has found his partner]

  • Kenneth: Listen to me. You come to that launch site at 5:00... you take my hand, and I'll show you who can't time travel.

  • Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: [referring to the letters 'D.D.' being shot into the wall with bullets] Do you have any idea what this could possibly mean?

    Lavar: Doris Day. Just a guess.

    Shane: [thinks long and hard] Dom Deluise.

    Kenneth: Daniel Day-Lewis.

    In the Way Back: Snoop Doggy Dogg.

    Another Bad Guy: Daphne du Maurier.

    Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Oh, shut up.

    In The Back: Doc Duvalier.

    Lefty: David Duchovny?

    In The Back: Delores Del Rio.

    Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Shut up, you idiots.

    Kenneth: Dan Rather.

    Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: These initials could only mean one thing: Dudley Do-Right.

  • Howard: Well, here's the money, but where's the gold?

    Kenneth: Whiplash took it.

    Barry: Where is Whiplash?

    Howard: He's gotta be here somewhere.

    Shane: [shouting] Snidely?

    Howard: He took off with all the gold. All we have is this measly $26,000.

    Barry: We gotta find Whip. He's tricked us.

    Howard: And when we do, we're gonna kill him... reeeeeeally slowly.

    Kenneth: Yeah, but where is he, huh?

    Barry: Now, that's a good question.

    Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: [from behind a mask] I heard he was in the Sudan.

    Barry: Where's that?

    Howard: In Africa, stupid.

    Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: He's supposed to be at the Hilton Hotel.

    Howard: The Hilton, eh?

    Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Mmm.

    Howard: Come on, boys! Let's go get him!

    [all the bad guys rush out]

  • Kenneth: My name is K Blood, not Kenneth.

  • Shopkeeper: Why do you want bloody fruitellas?

    Kenneth: Because I like them init why you asking me for blud, its a badman sweet you get me?

  • Brandon: Mrs. Wilson, champagne!

    Kenneth: Oh, it isn't someone's birthday is it?

    Brandon: Don't look so worried, Kenneth. It's, uh, really almost the opposite.

  • Rupert Cadell: Well, well, well, Kenneth Lawrence, how you've grown.

    Kenneth: Hello, uh, Mr...

    Rupert Cadell: Come on, Ken. School's out, you can say it.

    Kenneth: Rupert, you're the same as ever. It's awfully good to see you again.

    Rupert Cadell: Why?

  • Brandon: [handing Kenneth a drink] Would you mind taking this in to Janet?

    Kenneth: Sure. Why?

    Brandon: No particular reason. I thought you'd like to take it to her. She's in the bedroom.

    Kenneth: Then you'd like David to walk in.

    Brandon: No, that'd be too much of a shock.

  • Kenneth: Bitch, what do you want to listen to?

    Midge: I like Schubert.

    Kenneth: Schubert? Well, I don't!

  • Kenneth: Tuffi was a good bitch, and I gave her what every good bitch wants, a bone.

  • Kenneth: There's only one thing missing from this picnic. Don't you have any ants in England?

    Kathleen: I have some in Ireland, but I never hear from them.

  • Kenneth: *If* he is coming back, it's going to be with an axe and a chainsaw!

  • Inga: [Kenneth is smoking] Get rid of that smoke, don't you know it kills people?

    Kenneth: [throws the smoke at her] Then get a proper lung!

    Inga: [goes berserk] What the fuck are you doing?

    [goes for her knife, but before she do that, all the doors and windows in the room all of sudden shut. The room is darkened]

    Rasmus: [pretending to be a monster voice in the dark] Ohh, your last hour has come!

    Nicoline: Shut up Rasmus!

  • Kenneth: [the characters tried to get help by activating the fire alarm which didn't work]

    [going berserk]

    Kenneth: FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! Isn't there something that works in this shithouse?

    Taus: [referring to the newly found corpse of their friend] Yes, the stove...

Browse more character quotes from Dawn of the Dead (2004)

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