Keith Perez Quotes in Ladder 49 (2004)

Lenny Richter: [during the traditional false-confession initiation] How about sex? Are you a virgin?

Keith Perez: No, sir.

Lenny Richter: You think it's funny to fornicate with loose women?

Keith Perez: No, sir.

Lenny Richter: Well, if you want to have sex, why don't you just get married?

Keith Perez: I can't, sir.

Lenny Richter: Why?

Keith Perez: Well, the church doesn't allow two men to get married...

Lenny Richter: [to the other firefighters] What the...

Keith Perez: [pulls back the curtain, laughing]

Keith Perez: GOTCHA!