Keith Griffin Quotes in Latter Days (2003)

[reading a tabloid]

Christian Markelli: Oh... Say it isn't so.

Keith Griffin: What?

Christian Markelli: Well, apparently, poor Pam Anderson has had her breast implants taken out and put back in so many times that her entire chest is collapsing.

[squealing]

Christian Markelli: Oh, they have bikini pictures! They're horrible!

Keith Griffin: Shut up.

Christian Markelli: No, they are - seriously. They're down to her knees. Eat your chicken and I'll show you.

Keith Griffin: Prick.

[does as he's asked]

Keith Griffin: Give me the fucking magazine.

Keith Griffin: Where are you going with my goddamn flowers?

Christian Markelli: But they are...

Keith Griffin: We don't throw anything out that's not completely dead. Deal?

Christian Markelli: Deal.

Keith Griffin: And another thing, you got to quit coming over here and moping around. You're fucking depressing me.

Christian Markelli: I'm depressing you?

Keith Griffin: That's what I'm sayin'. If we've reached the point where you're dragging my day, oh, then... we got a problem. Seriously, you gotta do somethin'. Somethin' to make a move, just... find a way to get past this.

Christian Markelli: Are you being the oracle guy now?

Keith Griffin: No. I'm... just bein' your friend.

Keith Griffin: It's back.

Christian Markelli: Yeah, this must be your lucky fuckin' day.

Keith Griffin: Or maybe I'm just not suffering enough yet. I didn't expect to see you again.

Christian Markelli: Oh, come on now. You don't think you going all 'Miss Cleo the Psychic' on my ass is gonna scare me off that easy - now do you?

Keith Griffin: Maybe it's just dementia setting in. Sometimes I read people and I... I think I'm the oracle of Delphi.

Christian Markelli: Well, sometimes I growl at people. Doesn't make me Eartha Kitt. I'm just goin' to put this right about here.

Keith Griffin: It doesn't matter, I'm still not hungry.

Christian Markelli: I don't remember asking you if you were. I just deliver this stuff, remember? But my friend Andrew made this, and he doesn't even cook for his boyfriends. So the least you could do is tryin' to be polite, and eat it.

Keith Griffin: I don't have to pretend to be polite. I think I've... I think I've earned that right.

Christian Markelli: Oh yes, that's right; you're dying, you're bitter, blah, blah, blah... Fortunately I'm shallow so I'm impervious to that. Now eat it.

Keith Griffin: Impervious? Bet you don't know how to spell that.

Christian Markelli: Sure I do. It's spelled 'Bite me.'

Keith Griffin: Do you feel guilty for being so good-looking?