Kayla Quotes in Friends with Benefits (2011)

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Kayla Quotes:

  • Kayla: Maybe you should care a little bit less about work and a little bit more about the girl you're dating because last time I checked work doesn't reassure you that liking a finger up your ass doesn't make you gay.

  • Kayla: John fucking Mayer!

  • [Chazz's tape, which Kayla had dropped in the middle of the road earlier, is now in bad shape]

    Chazz: Oh, whoa. What happened to this?

    Kayla: It fell off the nightstand.

    Chazz: [as he grabs the tape and looks at it] What did you do to my tape? Can we even play this?

    Rex: I don't know, maybe if I clean it up and re-spool it. Christ!

    Kayla: I came all the way down here just to bring that stupid tape.

    Rex: Yeah, and you took real good care of it, didn't you, Yoko?

  • [Kayla briefly listens to Chazz's demo tape while driving, but immediately ejects it]

    Kayla: Bastard!

    [then drops it in the middle of the road]

  • Chazz: [Carl has grabbed Kayla and is trying to humiliate Chazz in front of the entire Audience by calling him "Chester"] Hey, you stay out of this and get your hands off her!

    Kayla: Why did he call you that?

    Carl Mace: There's a lot that Chester didn't tell you about, right, Chester?

    Rex: What's he talking about Chazz?

    Chazz: Um... Kayla, I...

    Chazz: It's... uh, he's... awww shit. Kayla, there's something I gotta tell ya. Um... I was a geek in high school. I had really short hair, I played "Dungeons and Dragons", I had a bug collection, I ate my Boogers. My name's not Chazz... it's Chester, and I understand if You don't love me, anymore.

    D & D Rocker: I played D & D, too!

    School Newspaper Rocker: I was editor of the school magazine!

    Corduroy Rocker: I used to wear corduroy pants!

    Masturbating Rocker: I used to masturbate... constantly!

    [His two friends start hitting him]

  • [location: in their van which is inside a refrigeration truck]

    Andrew: It's freezing.

    Franklin: Huddle together if you're cold, I'll turn on the heat.

    Daniel: That's brilliant. See in order to get heat you have to turn on the engine, thereby trapping the fumes and rendering us all dead by asphixiation.

    Franklin: In that case forget the heat. Hey who farted? Did you cut the cheese, Dan?

    Daniel: For God's sake, no I did not.

    Franklin: How about you, Kayla?

    Kayla: Girls don't fart.

    Franklin: Really? Come over to my house sometime and ask my mom why all our cats committed suicide.

  • [Kayla slaps Bucky]

    Kayla: BUCKY!

    Bucky: What? I thought you were scared, so I grabbed you shoulder.

    Kayla: That *wasn't* my *shoulder*.

  • Andrew: I want to be the hostage!

    Kayla: How come I never get to be the hostage?

    Travis: That's because you're a girl.

    Bucky: Hey, girls can be hostages, too. I mean, we're moving toward the twenty-first century and girls can be whatever they want.

    Kayla: Right on, sister.

    Daniel: Ok, quiet down or nobody gets to be the hostage!

    Bucky: Well, that made sense, dad.

  • Kayla: [the soccer team is running warm-ups. They run across The Jogger Bridge. Each girl kisses her hand and sets it on the rail] Pay your respects, new girl.

    [Eve does it]

    Eve: What's that for?

    Kayla: Stacy St. Clair.

    Coach Cowan: You'll move faster if your lips stop flapping!

    Toni: She needs to get stuffed.

    Coach Cowan: Got some three nights ago, Toni! Move it!

  • Toni: [Explaining to Eve about Stacy St. Clair] So there's this huge party, right? Like an 'end of the semester' crazy fling thing.

    Kayla: And you know how the Sacred Heart crowd is. They party mad hard.

    Toni: Yeah, cause Catholic school messes with your head and shit.

    Kayla: They're all totally repressed.

    Toni: Totes. So there's this kid there that nobody's ever seen before, and he's all in leather with this green mohawk.

    Kayla: I heard it was blue.

    Toni: So there's this guy with this *blue* mohawk, and he's at this party, and he's handing out acid hits for free.

    Kayla: It wasn't free.

    Toni: It *was* free, that's a fact. It was free, and Stacy St. Clair got some. But this isn't like, regular acid. It's like crazy stuff, like insane! People are tasting colors and seeing sounds. And Stacy had butterflies on her fingers.

    Kayla: How would Chris Harper know that?

    Toni: Shh! Because! Jed Spellman told him, that's how. Anyway, Eve, one of her butterflies flew away, and she flips out and starts chasing it. And she almost had it when she was at the bridge.

  • Jesus: Would you like some water?

    Melissa: Yeah.

    Kayla: Do you have any coffee?

    Jesus: I'm sorry, all I serve here is water.

    Kayla: You have got to be kidding me.

    Melissa: This tastes great.

    Jesus: It's my own recipe. Two molecules of hydrogen and one of oxygen.

Browse more character quotes from Friends with Benefits (2011)

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Characters on Friends with Benefits (2011)