Kate Collins Quotes in Eulogy (2004)

Kate Collins: I'm sorry about Grandpa.

Lucy Collins: Oh, Katie! Nobody blames you!

Daniel Collins: Hey, did we have a blackout last night?

Kate Collins: That's what I heard.

Skip Collins: Yeah, we sure did. I couldn't even find my room.

[Lucy smacks him with a newspaper]

Skip Collins: What?

Lucy Collins: You found my room all right.

Skip Collins: It was dark.

Lucy Collins: So you hid in my closet? With your *kids*?

Skip Collins: [shouts] We were lost!

Kate Collins: Hey, hey, hey! You guys! Could one of you *please* tell me one nice thing I can say about your dead father

Lucy Collins: [after a long pause] He often called me Andrea for no reason.

Daniel Collins: I was Barry.

Kate Collins: [reading a letter from Ryan out loud] Did you really leave me again? After all the seasons I spent waiting, watching out the window, listening at the door, waiting for the news of your return? for the news that you realized that someone important was waiting for you. A whole lifetime I've been waiting. I can't believe you're not coming back. I can't believe I'm supposed to stop waiting. I can't believe you left me again...

[ends letter]

Kate Collins: Grandpa didn't leave because of you, it was because of you he kept coming back. I hope you all realize that.

Skip Collins: Pop loved poetry.

Kate Collins: He did.

Skip Collins: Yeah. All the ones about Nantucket.

Skip Collins: I think his favorite was about a little handicapped girl. There once was a girl who was crippled, by the weight of her overgrown nipple.

Kate Collins: Uncle Skip and the twins were a little heavy with hormones, but they were at those ages...

Kate Collins: My family still observes a cocktail hour with a vengeance.

Alice Collins: I'm sorry, I live in the real world. I work hard at raising a decent family. You don't see me prancing around in my pajamas all day, starting up pillow fights with my topless girlfriend...

Kate Collins: ...What are we talking about?

[first lines]

Kate Collins: [practicing out loud] Hey, you don't know me... I don't know you...

Kate Collins: [narration] Twice in my life I've had to deliver bad news to someone I'd never met. The first time involved a cat that ran out in the middle of my driver's test. This time was a bit trickier.

Kate Collins: [narration] My grandmother always said she wished Alice came with a mute button.

Kate Collins: [narrating about his dad] You may remember him as the Spiffy peanut butter kid. My dad's the one with a spoon in his mouth.

Commercial Dad: What is it son?

Young Daniel: Something is stuck to my tongue.

Kate Collins: [narrating] Must be *weird* to have your career *peak* at 8. Now, he works mostly in obscure foreign films.

Kate Collins: [narrating] He always acted like he had a crush on me. And I always acted like I didn't notice.

Delilah the Neighbor: [crying] Poor Barbara!

Kate Collins: What do you mean?

Delilah the Neighbor: I don't know what to say.

Kate Collins: You're not Barbara?

Delilah the Neighbor: Edmund was the best neighbor I ever had.

Kate Collins: [after putting the video tape in Barbara's mailbox] I'll explain on the way.