Kat Ellis Quotes in The Wedding Date (2005)

Nick Mercer: Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Close... your... eyes. You're safe. You can relax. I'm not going to kiss you. He's gonna be so sorry he lost you, so stop worrying. Forget the past. Forget the pain. And remember what an incredible woman you are. You do that and he'll realize what he lost.

Kat Ellis: Holy crap. You're worth every penny.

Kat Ellis: You know what pisses me off? I've been spilling my guts all weekend and I don't know a thing about you.

Nick Mercer: [pause] I'm allergic to fabric softener. I majored in comparative literature at Brown. I hate anchovies. And I think I'd miss you even if we never met.

Kat Ellis: Oh, I should warn you. You know those families where everyone's out of their minds, but at the end of the day they're you family, so you love them? Mine's not like that. I love my dad, but since he's my stepdad, he's technically not family. He's more like a hostage.

[asked by her mother what is wrong]

Kat Ellis: Nothing that a bottle of Jack and a straight razor won't fix.

Amy: Hey.

Kat Ellis: Hey.

Amy: I just...

[pauses]

Amy: I wanted to thank you for not outing me in front of Ed. I want to tell him just not the night before our wedding, you know... with these things, timing is everything.

Kat Ellis: You're right.

[pauses]

Kat Ellis: You should really time it right so that when he hears that you repeatedly screwed his best friend, he won't feel like the whole world is collapsing around him, and there's no escape because you tricked him into marrying you.

Amy: Kat...

Kat Ellis: [brightly] Oh, don't worry. Your wedding will be perfect tomorrow. I'll smile and say all the right things, and you'll deal with Ed when you're ready.

[harshly]

Kat Ellis: But right now, tonight, I'm not going to pretend it's okay.

TJ: [sees Kat with Jeffery] Oh my God! Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! Top Kat! Ooooh! Where the bloody hell have you been? I have gynaecologists that call more often.

Kat Ellis: You have more than one gynaecologist?

TJ: You have to play them off. Otherwise they think your easy

TJ: [turns to Jeffery] Hello asshole. Listen, since you dumped my cousin brutally, and without cause, you won't mind if I just steal her away will you? Thanks

Nick Mercer: When I told you I've never done a wedding before, it wasn't because I've never been asked. I just never said yes.

Kat Ellis: Why'd you say yes to me?

Nick Mercer: There was something in your voice on the phone that day.

Kat Ellis: Desperation?

Nick Mercer: I think it was hope.

Kat Ellis: [to Nick] You're like the Yoda of escorts. Getting you on the phone was harder than getting into college.

Kat Ellis: An escort at a funeral? Somebody's dead.

Nick Mercer: Yeah, imagine facing that alone.

Kat Ellis: Mom, this is so not the time to be yourself.

Nick Mercer: This happened *to* you?

Kat Ellis: Happened in the sense that I picked up the phone, tracked you down, flew you here, and gave you $6,000 out of my 401K.

Nick Mercer: Is that an old habit from ballet class or from a lifetime of walking on eggshells?

Kat Ellis: I never took ballet.

[closes bathroom door]

Kat Ellis: Any second now my date is going to sit down in 3B and I need him to look really, really good today.

Male Flight Attendant: Hello, 3B.

[Kat turns around to see Nick]

Jeffrey: Kat, could I have a word? It'll only take a moment.

Bunny: Well, let me think. You stole seven years of her life with your bullshit and your charm and now you'd like just a moment? Sure, go right ahead.

Kat Ellis: Thanks for the solidarity, Mom, but next time a little less information.

Amy: You're my half sister but I whole love you.

Kat Ellis: [to Woody] Why don't you get my half sister her seventh hole?

Amy: Tequila!

Nick Mercer: Just so you know, you're 300 short.

Kat Ellis: Wait a minute! You're telling me that if something happened last night I would have to pay you $1700! That's a down payment on a Ford Focus!

Nick Mercer: Not dollars. Pounds.

Airplane Passenger: Your first time flying?

Kat Ellis: My sister's getting married and the best man is my ex. In case I chicken out, I want to know where all the exits are.

Kat Ellis: [about her mother] Oh sweet Jesus, who gave that woman an amp?

Bunny: They were inseperable. If Kat ate a banana, Amy threw it up.

TJ: And if Amy threw it up, Kat ate it.

Kat Ellis: So we were eating and throwing up in perfect harmony.

Kat Ellis: Woody?

Woody: Not yet...

Kat Ellis, Woody: But it's getting there!

Victor Ellis: [Kat is coming out of the boat early in the morning and her father calls to her from inside the house] Ahoy there!

Kat Ellis: [embarrassed] Hi, Dad.

Kat Ellis: So sorry, I wasn't quite ready for you.

[holds out envelope]

Kat Ellis: It's a ticket. A plane ticket for a date. My date. To my sister's wedding.

Bike Messenger: [trying to pull envelope free] You're gonna have to let go.

Kat Ellis: I'm gonna need you to help me.

Nick Mercer: [after hearing the "Tony Peepants" story] So is that when he peed in his pants?

Kat Ellis: Well, he cried a lot, but no. There was no peeing.

Nick Mercer: So what's with the nickname?

[long pause as everyone looks at one another]

Bunny: I have no idea.

Jeffrey: You hate sports.

Kat Ellis: I hate cricket.

Jeffrey: Right.

Amy: [at her bachlorette party to Woody] Did she tell you she broke up with you because of your funky breath?

Kat Ellis: [to Woody] She's drunk.

Kat Ellis: [about Jeffrey] He seems more mature.

Jeffrey: Run you fat tart!

Amy: I don't think that I can do this.

Kat Ellis: What? The seventh hole?