Kansas Quotes in Sugar & Spice (2001)

Mrs. Hill: So, what'd you come here for? To tell me how much you hate me?

Kansas: I don't hate you. I need your help.

Mrs. Hill: And how in the hell can I help you?

Kansas: My best friend got pregnant.

Mrs. Hill: Before you? Woo hoo.

Kansas: Yeah, I know, that's what I said too. Anyway, we want to help her get some money for the baby by robbing a bank.

Mrs. Hill: Well, shitfire, Kansas, that's the sweetest thing I ever heard.

Kansas: But we can't quite figure out how to do it.

Mrs. Hill: So you need my help? Oh my God. This is like you asking me for help with your homework.

Mrs. Hill: You don't look nothing like your picture.

Kansas: Grandma and Grandpa sent you a picture of a neighbor girl. They didn't want you to break out and come kidnap me.

Mrs. Hill: Thank God, I was starting to think I killed the wrong man.

Mrs. Hill: Kansas, I'd like you to meet someone special.

[a lady comes up]

Kansas: Jesus Christ, Mom! It's bad enough you're in prison, but now i have to add p.s my moms a dyke too?

Mrs. Hill: Shut up! You mouthy little shit!

Kansas: Don't mouthy shit me, I'm outta here.

Mrs. Hill: Hold on a minute. Mink ain't my bitch if that's what you think. She's a specialist in banks.

Kansas: She's been the weak tit on this mama cat ever since this whole thing started!

Hannah: I'm sorry, can someone else please run the board? It's creepy, it's wrong, and it goes against the teachings of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Kansas: Hannah, in order to get real answers from the Netherworld, you've gotta have a Christian virgin run the board. Your kind is pure of heart, the devil won't dick with you.

Lucy Whitman: You just became a statistic.

Kansas: Oh, my god. I'm not the first.

Kansas: My best friend got pregnant.

Mrs. Hill: Woohoo, before you?

Kansas: Yeah that's what i said too.

Hannah: Technically I don't think I'm a virgin anymore. This past summer at church camp I think I had my first orgasm.

Kansas: Any sentence that starts with church camp ain't leading to the big O.

Cleo Miller: That's not true Kansas. All those pictures of Jesus all sweaty and bare-chested on the cross always made me kinda hot.

Diane: I want to hear.

Hannah: Okay, so one night I want out horseback riding with the nuns - they went every night and we're trotting pretty hard you know. And suddenly I feel-i feel just super alive. You know.

Kansas: Yeah? Well, how would you like me to introduce my foot into your ass!

Kansas: It's in the Bible, so just shut the hell up!

Hannah: And Tim Conoway was very funny. And they all learned a lot from the experience a...

Kansas: Wait a minute. You watched The Apple FUCKING Dumpling Gang?

Cleo Miller: [They are about to rob a bank, and Cleo does something wrong] I'm sorry, Kansas.

Kansas: No! God, Rule number two, no names! No goddamn names you retard!

Cleo Miller: Well excuse me, White Trash Betty!

Kansas: Hey Lisa, did you meet Carmen Electra this summer?

Lisa Janusch: No.

Kansas: Oh, cause it looks like you got some of her tits on you.

Kansas: You cold?

Maria: Um, my feet are cold.

Kansas: Yeah?

Maria: Yeah.

Kansas: (reaches under her skirt) Hey, hey, I know something that's hot and, uh, heh, heh. Yes, sir!

Kansas: I never catch a cold.

Kansas: I never get wounded.

Kansas: I never get killed.