Kansas Quotes in Sugar & Spice (2001)


Kansas Quotes:

  • Mrs. Hill: So, what'd you come here for? To tell me how much you hate me?

    Kansas: I don't hate you. I need your help.

    Mrs. Hill: And how in the hell can I help you?

    Kansas: My best friend got pregnant.

    Mrs. Hill: Before you? Woo hoo.

    Kansas: Yeah, I know, that's what I said too. Anyway, we want to help her get some money for the baby by robbing a bank.

    Mrs. Hill: Well, shitfire, Kansas, that's the sweetest thing I ever heard.

    Kansas: But we can't quite figure out how to do it.

    Mrs. Hill: So you need my help? Oh my God. This is like you asking me for help with your homework.

  • Mrs. Hill: You don't look nothing like your picture.

    Kansas: Grandma and Grandpa sent you a picture of a neighbor girl. They didn't want you to break out and come kidnap me.

    Mrs. Hill: Thank God, I was starting to think I killed the wrong man.

  • Mrs. Hill: Kansas, I'd like you to meet someone special.

    [a lady comes up]

    Kansas: Jesus Christ, Mom! It's bad enough you're in prison, but now i have to add p.s my moms a dyke too?

    Mrs. Hill: Shut up! You mouthy little shit!

    Kansas: Don't mouthy shit me, I'm outta here.

    Mrs. Hill: Hold on a minute. Mink ain't my bitch if that's what you think. She's a specialist in banks.

  • Kansas: She's been the weak tit on this mama cat ever since this whole thing started!

  • Hannah: I'm sorry, can someone else please run the board? It's creepy, it's wrong, and it goes against the teachings of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

    Kansas: Hannah, in order to get real answers from the Netherworld, you've gotta have a Christian virgin run the board. Your kind is pure of heart, the devil won't dick with you.

  • Lucy Whitman: You just became a statistic.

    Kansas: Oh, my god. I'm not the first.

  • Kansas: My best friend got pregnant.

    Mrs. Hill: Woohoo, before you?

    Kansas: Yeah that's what i said too.

  • Hannah: Technically I don't think I'm a virgin anymore. This past summer at church camp I think I had my first orgasm.

    Kansas: Any sentence that starts with church camp ain't leading to the big O.

    Cleo Miller: That's not true Kansas. All those pictures of Jesus all sweaty and bare-chested on the cross always made me kinda hot.

    Diane: I want to hear.

    Hannah: Okay, so one night I want out horseback riding with the nuns - they went every night and we're trotting pretty hard you know. And suddenly I feel-i feel just super alive. You know.

  • Kansas: Yeah? Well, how would you like me to introduce my foot into your ass!

  • Kansas: It's in the Bible, so just shut the hell up!

  • Hannah: And Tim Conoway was very funny. And they all learned a lot from the experience a...

    Kansas: Wait a minute. You watched The Apple FUCKING Dumpling Gang?

  • Cleo Miller: [They are about to rob a bank, and Cleo does something wrong] I'm sorry, Kansas.

    Kansas: No! God, Rule number two, no names! No goddamn names you retard!

    Cleo Miller: Well excuse me, White Trash Betty!

  • Kansas: Hey Lisa, did you meet Carmen Electra this summer?

    Lisa Janusch: No.

    Kansas: Oh, cause it looks like you got some of her tits on you.

  • Kansas: You cold?

    Maria: Um, my feet are cold.

    Kansas: Yeah?

    Maria: Yeah.

    Kansas: (reaches under her skirt) Hey, hey, I know something that's hot and, uh, heh, heh. Yes, sir!

  • Kansas: I never catch a cold.

  • Kansas: I never get wounded.

  • Kansas: I never get killed.

Browse more character quotes from Sugar & Spice (2001)