Juno Quotes in The Descent (2005)

Beth: [trapped after a cave-in] You put in a flight-plan, right? If we don't report in they'll come looking for us.

Rebecca: That's how it's supposed to work, except I put in a flight-plan for Boreham Caverns and this isn't Boreham Caverns, is it Juno?

Beth: We're in the wrong fucking cave!

Juno: Holly was right! Boreham Caverns was a tourist trap!

Holly: Don't try and pin this fucking shit on me!

Rebecca: This is not caving, this is an ego-trip.

Sam: Where are we?

Juno: It hasn't got a name. It's a new system. I wanted us all to discover it! No one's ever been down here before.

Sam: Are you fucking kidding me?

Rebecca: [while Sarah is looking throught the camera, with night vision on] oh, fuck it! Hello!

Juno: Please!

Rebecca: Is there anybody there!

Beth: Hello?

[Sarah points the camera at Beth, Crawler behind her]

Juno: [while fighting a crawler] Fucker!

Juno: Sam's gonna be Doctor Van Ney in like a year's time.

Beth: Please tell me it's longer than that.

[Terrified, looking at Sarah who's covered in blood]

Juno: What happened to you?

Sarah: [Sarah uses Holly's camera in night vision mode and sees all of the dead animal bones] Dead animals! Hundreds of them!

Beth: This is not good, guys.

Sam: Can we get out of here?

Rebecca: Which way?

Juno: [Uses lighter to try and find the breeze] Come on.

[the lighter's flame does not move]

Juno: I don't know.

Beth: What do you mean you don't know?

Juno: There's no breeze! It could be any one of these tunnels! Take your pick!

Rebecca: Oh, fuck it!

[yelling]

Rebecca: Helloooooo!

Juno: [trying to calm down Rebecca] Please!

Rebecca: [continuing to yell] Is there anybody there?

Beth: [also yelling] Hello!

[a crawler suddenly appears behind Beth]

[Repeated line]

Juno: It'll be fine.

[Juno, as Team Leader, gives instructions before the women begin to descend]

Juno: Holly: safety first! I don't want any stunts this time.

[Juno is preparing to launch herself first down into the crevice. She speaks to her friends:]

Juno: You okay?

[One of the women says, "No."]

Juno: [Not listening:] See you down there.

Vaines: What are those things?

Juno: Death.

Juno: What's wrong?

Barbara: We're very unhappy.

Juno: What did you expect? You're dead!

Very Dumb Football Player: [the football players have re-entered Juno's office] Coach?

Juno: What?

Very Dumb Football Player: [looking disturbed] I don't think we survived that crash.

Juno: [sarcastically] How did you guess?

Beetlejuice: I'm feeling a little, ooh, anxious if you know what I mean. It's been about six hundred years after all. I wonder where a guy, an everyday Joe like myself, can find a little action...

[a brothel appears]

Beetlejuice: [dances with joy] Hey Adam, nice move!

Barbara: Adam, why did you build that?

Adam: I didn't!

[Adam and Barbara appear at Juno's office]

Juno: The whorehouse was my idea! I want you to get Beetlejuice out of the picture!

Juno: [as Adam and Barbara come back to the afterlife] You two have really screwed up! I received word that you allowed yourselves to be photographed, and you let Betelgeuse out and didn't put him back, and you let Otho get hold of the handbook!

Adam: Handbook? When?

Juno: [rolls her eyes] Never trust the living! We cannot have a routine haunting like yours provide proof that there is existence beyond death.

Barbara: What about that guy in the flyer, you know Betel...

Juno: Shhh! Don't even say his name! You don't want his help!

Adam: We might.

Juno: No, you don't! He does not work well with others.

Barbara: What do you mean?

Juno: I didn't want to bring it up, but rather than have you stumble on to it and make another mistake, I'll tell you. He was my assistant, but he was a troublemaker. Went out on his own as a freelance bio-exorcist. Claimed he could get rid of the living. Got into more trouble. In fact, I believe he's been sleazing around your cemetery lately. The only way he can be brought back is by calling his name three times. But I strongly suggest you get the Deetzes out by yourselves.

Juno: Okay, have you been studying the manual?

Adam: Well, we tried.

Juno: The intermediate interface chapter on haunting says it all: get them out yourselves, it's your house. Haunted houses aren't easy to come by.

Barbara: Well, we don't quite get it.

Juno: I heard. Tore your faces right off. It obviously doesn't do any good to pull your heads off in front of people if they can't see you!

Adam: We should start more simply then?

Juno: Start simply, do what you know, use your talents, practice! You should have been studying those lessons since day one.

Dumb Football Player: Coach. Coach, where's the men's room?

Juno: I'm not your coach! He survived!

Dumb Football Player #2: Wait, coach, let me get something straight. What's our curfew around here?

Juno: Will you get out of here! Go on, get downstairs! "'Men's room!" Are you kidding? Can't you read signs?

Juno: [at the Maitland home] Things seem pretty quiet. Thank God you didn't die in Italy.

Juno: Don't hold back - make this your hottest performance ever!