Jules Quotes in 3 Days to Kill (2014)

Jules: Sumia wants to call the baby Ethan.

[puts the baby into his arms]

Ethan Renner: It's a boy's name.

Jules: No. It's the name of a great man who didn't shoot us when he could and instead gave us his home. She has chosen carefully. The name is perfect.

Jules: You scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours.

Seth: Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that it's located on my cock.

[last lines]

Seth: [to Becca] I had such bad acne last year that I pretty much became, like, an expert on the stuff...

[to Evan]

Seth: You drove m...

[to Becca]

Seth: Evan drove me here though, so...

Jules: Well, so, I mean, I have my dad's car... so I could just give you a lift... and then Evan can take Becca home. If that works... I dunno. If it's in your route.

Becca: It'd be fine with me.

Evan: Fine, yeah. Maybe we could get some food.

Becca: Yeah, I'd like that.

Seth: [to Evan] So, I guess I'll call you.

Evan: Yeah, gimme a call. You have my number.

Seth: I have your information. So, uh, put her there...

[they shake hands]

Evan: Perfect. Good. Alright man.

Seth: Okay.

Evan: Okay guys.

Seth: Becca.

Jules: Bye guys. See ya tomorrow.

Becca: See ya Jules.

[Jules and Seth go off leaving Evan and Becca]

Jules: Mother, just because I wear trakkies and play sport does not make me a lesbian!

Jules: Me and Jess were fighting because we both fancy our coach... Joe.

Paula: [pause] Joe, a man, Joe?

Jules: [exasperated] Yeah, as in male, Joe! Joe, our coach, Joe, man, Joe!

Jules: Anyway being a lesbian's not that big a deal

Paula: Oh no of course not sweetheart no. I mean I've got nothing against it. I was cheering for Martina Navratilova as much as the next person.

Jules: [after seeing Jess almost kiss Joe] You bitch!

Jules: We need you come to the Grand Final.

Jess: I can't.

Jules: [thinking it's about seeing Joe] You have to come!

Jess: No, I can't!

[sighs]

Jess: It's the same day as my sister's wedding.

Jules: [moaning quietly] Aw, shit.

Jess: [later, to Joe] Jess can't come on the 25th. It's the same day as her sister's wedding.

Joe: [angrily] *Shit!*

Jules: [at Jess's place, after Jess's dad sees Jess and Joe kissing] How are you?

Jess: I'm *really* in the shit now.

Jules: Jess, it's Becks!

Ben: "You're never wrong to do the right thing."

Jules: Who said that, you?

Ben: Yeah. But I'm pretty sure Mark Twain said it first.

Jules: Mark Zuckerberg never brought in a CEO - and he was a teenager!

Jules: [distraught and ranting] I don't want to be buried alone. Paige'll be with her husband, and Matt'll be with his new family, and I will be buried with strangers. I'll be buried in the strangers singles section of the cemetery. Not that that is a reason to stay together. But it's just, you know, a scary sidebar.

Ben: Let's take that one off your plate right now. You can be buried with me and Molly. I happen to have space, okay?

Jules: Oh. Thank you so much.

Jules: [Waves to daughter's friend who hides behind her mom's legs] Hi, Maddie.

Paige: [In a stage whisper] Bipolar!

Jules: Here's my theory about this. We all grew up during the "take your daughter to work day" thing, right?

Ben: Mm-Hmm.

Jules: So we were always told we could be anything, do anything. And I think guys got, maybe not left behind, but not quite as nurtured, you know? I mean, like, we were the generation of "you go, girl."We had Oprah. And I wonder sometimes how guys fit in, you know? They still seem to be trying to figure it out. They're still dressing like little boys. They're still playing video games. Well, they've gotten great. So...

Davis: I love video games!

Lewis: Oh, boy.

Jules: How, in one generation, have men gone from guys like jack Nicholson and Harrison Ford to... take Ben, here. A dying breed. You know? Look and learn, boys. Because if you ask me, this is what cool is.

[leaning on Ben]

Jules: It's 2015, are we really still critical of working moms?

Jules: The truth is... something about you makes me feel calm, or more centered, or something. And I could use that. Obviously.

Jules: Nobody calls men "men" anymore. Have you noticed? Women went from "girls" to "women."Men went from "men" to "boys?" This is a problem in the big picture. Do you know what I mean?

Matt: I can't tell you how s-Sorry and ashamed I am. I thought I could do it. I thought I could be the guy that I told you I was going to be. And then, somewhere along the way... I thought I was losing you. But it was actually me. I got lost. It's a confusing world out there, and who I am got messed up for a minute. And now I'm watching you ready to give all this up for me. I will not let that happen. I love you, and I will do so much better if you'll let me. Please, Jules. Let me make it right again.

Jules: [crying her eyes out] You know what would be good? If you carried a handkerchief.

Jules: [Alluding to age difference] I'm glad you also see the humor in this.

Ben: [Smiles wryly] It would be hard not to.

Jules: I need to say something. Um, it's no big secret your mom and I are in hell right now, and, uh... Bottom line is, marriage is hard. It's really fuckin' hard. Just... just two people slogging through the shit, year after year, getting older, changing. It's a fucking marathon, okay? So, sometimes, you know, you're... you're together so long, that you just... You stop seeing the other person. You just see weird projections of your own junk. Um, instead of talking to each other, you go off the rails and act grubby and make stupid choices, which is what I did, and I feel sick about it because I love you guys, and I love your mom, and that's the truth. Sometimes you hurt the ones you love the most. I don't know why. I... You know, if I read more Russian novels, then... Anyway, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for what I did. I hope you'll forgive me eventually. Thank you.

Jules: I wish you were gay. You'd be much more sensitive.

[Lazer exists]

Nic: Maybe we should just sit him down and ask him already.

Jules: What? "Are you and Clay fucking?"

Nic: "Exploring" is a better word.

Nic: Look, we have to be smart about this. You know, if we act like grubby bitches, we're just gonna make it worse.

Jules: I know.

Nic: Let's just kill him with kindness and put it to bed.

Jules: I'm with you, honey. We're gonna get through this, okay?

Nic: I love you, chicken.

Jules: I love you, too, pony.

Jules: Go easy on the wine, hon. It's daytime.

Nic: Okay. Same goes for micromanaging, okay?

Jules: What do you get in your relationship with Clay?

Laser: Whadda you... whadda you mean "get?"

Nic: Well, we just feel like he's a little untended.

Jules: Do you think he's the kind of person who's gonna help you grow?

Jules: [Nic, Joni and Laser leaves the house into Nic's car. Then Jules comes out of the door only to find out that no one is paying attention on her. Tries to push the door open to go back in] It's locked.

Suzette: [on seeing Hannah at prom looking sick] Oh god, whats she on?

Jules: Nothing, we just had champange.

Suzette: Don't bullshit me.

Prom Girl: Shes on acid.

Suzette: How long ago did she drop it?

Prom Girl: Two hours maybe?

Suzette: Two hours she's gonna be really messed up, you guys should go.

Jules: Leave her here with you? We don't even know you.

Suzette: I'm a friend of her mother's.

Jules: Yeah, right Hannah's mother.

Suzette: Lavinia Kingsley, Handsome. Now go. Go on, get out here!

Harry: Her mother is Vinny?

Suzette: Yeah. Just breathe honey

[Hannah starts throwing up]

Suzette: Ooo wow... Just let it go. Let it go. Ooo there's another one, Harry you may never shit again!

Kyle Grubbin: [Offering a bag of chewing tobacco] You chew?

Jules: Yeah, I'm Jewish... Why?

Jules: Tell him there's a deadly poisonous snake inside of the cage. Tell him.

Joseph: [Joseph eaves the room. Re-enters a few seconds later]

Jules: You didn't tell him?

Joseph: [after a pause] He knows already.

Jules: Christmas has always been a wonderful time for me. In fact, that's how I got into trouble. I came home and found my wife giving my friend a... present.

Amelie Ducotel: What a shame.

Jules: Oh, it was my fault entirely. I should have written and told her I was coming.

Jules: [after failing to get any of the Ducotels to discover a body] Isn't that always the way? When you have a body you don't want found everybody falls all over it!

Jules: That is a very handsome woman.

Jules: [on opening the petty cash box] You'll have to forgive me, it's been a while since I've done this

[closes eyes]

Jules: and I'm used to doing it in the dark.

Jules: [Talking about Joseph] That's his life - selling people things they don't want for more than they can afford to buy.

Felix Ducotel: You look different.

Jules: We are different.

Jules: [seeing Isabelle for the first time] I have a daughter about her age. She looked like her mother. Lovely woman, her mother. Wish I'd married her.

Jules: [handsome young doctor enters the store, and is spotted by the three convicts] It's predestiny, that's what it is.

Albert: Nah, it's that fellow from the boat.

Jules: It isn't fair. Here we are, three desperate criminals who'll stop at nothing to escape from Devil's Island, and we have to fall in with nice people.

Joseph: You guys act like you don't wanna cut their throats.

Albert: They shouldn't let crooks like that on Devil's Island.

Jules: No, it'll give the place a bad name.

Jules: The defense... rests. How's that for a defense?

Joseph: It reminds me of my lawyer.

Joseph: Jules, you rush in and tell him before it's too late. Tell him there's a snake in that box.

Jules: He won't believe me. He doesn't like me.

Joseph: Albert, maybe you ought to run in and warn him.

Albert: Why don't we cut cards for it?

Joseph: Good idea. I'll get the cards.

[Long pause as he slowly saunters over to get a deck of cards and returns]

Joseph: Who cuts first?

Jules: You, flock of seagulls, you know why we're here? Why don't you tell my man Vincent where you got the shit hid at?

Marvin: It's over th...

Jules: I don't remember askin' you a Goddamn thing! You were saying?

Roger: It's in the cupboard.

[Vincent starts looking in the upper cupboard]

Roger: No, no, the one by your kn-knees.

Jules: We happy?

[Vincent continues staring at the briefcase's contents]

Jules: Vincent! We happy?

Vincent: Yeah, we happy.

Brett: I'm sorry, I didn't get your name. I got yours, Vincent, right? But I didn't get yours...

Jules: My name's Pitt. And your ass ain't talkin' your way out of this shit.

Brett: No, no, I just want you to know... I just want you to know how sorry we are that things got so fucked up with us and Mr. Wallace. We got into this thing with the best intentions and I never...

Jules: [Jules shoots the man on the couch] I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue, you were saying something about best intentions. What's the matter? Oh, you were finished! Well, allow me to retort. What does Marsellus Wallace look like?

Brett: What?

Jules: What country are you from?

Brett: What? What? Wh - ?

Jules: "What" ain't no country I've ever heard of. They speak English in What?

Brett: What?

Jules: English, motherfucker, do you speak it?

Brett: Yes! Yes!

Jules: Then you know what I'm sayin'!

Brett: Yes!

Jules: Describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like!

Brett: What?

Jules: Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more Goddamn time!

Brett: H-H-He's black...

Jules: Go on!

Brett: He's bald...!

Jules: Does he look like a bitch?

Brett: What?

Jules: [shoots Brett in the shoulder] DOES HE... LOOK... LIKE A BITCH?

Brett: No!

Jules: Then why you tryin' to fuck him like a bitch, Brett?

Brett: I didn't...!

Jules: Yes, you did. Yes, you did, Brett! You tried to fuck him.

Brett: [gasping] No, no...

Jules: But Marcellus Wallace don't like to be fucked by anybody except Mrs. Wallace.

Jules: If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.

Jules: I'm not giving you that money. I'm buying something from you. Wanna know what I'm buyin' Ringo?

Pumpkin: What?

Jules: Your life. I'm givin' you that money so I don't have to kill your ass. You read the Bible?

Pumpkin: Not regularly.

Jules: There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you." Now... I been sayin' that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, that meant your ass. You'd be dead right now. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before I popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. See, now I'm thinking: maybe it means you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here... he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could mean you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. And I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd.

Vincent: And you know what they call a... a... a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?

Jules: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese?

Vincent: No man, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is.

Jules: Then what do they call it?

Vincent: They call it a Royale with cheese.

Jules: A Royale with cheese. What do they call a Big Mac?

Vincent: Well, a Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it le Big-Mac.

Jules: Le Big-Mac. Ha ha ha ha. What do they call a Whopper?

Vincent: I dunno, I didn't go into Burger King.

Vincent: Want some bacon?

Jules: No man, I don't eat pork.

Vincent: Are you Jewish?

Jules: Nah, I ain't Jewish, I just don't dig on swine, that's all.

Vincent: Why not?

Jules: Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals.

Vincent: Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.

Jules: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker. Pigs sleep and root in shit. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces.

Vincent: How about a dog? Dogs eats its own feces.

Jules: I don't eat dog either.

Vincent: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?

Jules: I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.

Vincent: Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?

Jules: Well we'd have to be talkin' about one charming motherfuckin' pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?

[cleaning their bloody hands]

Jules: Fuck, nigga, what the fuck did you do to his towel?

Vincent: I was dryin' my hands.

Jules: You're supposed to wash 'em first!

Vincent: You watched me wash 'em.

Jules: I watched you get 'em wet.

Vincent: I was washing 'em. But this shit's hard to get off. Maybe if I had Lava or something, I coulda done a better job.

Jules: I used the same fuckin' soap you did and when I got finished, the towel didn't look like no goddamn Maxi-Pad!

Jules: [Vincent and Jules are cleaning the inside of the car which is covered in blood] Oh, man, I will never forgive your ass for this shit. This is some fucked-up repugnant shit.

Vincent: Jules, did you ever hear the philosophy that once a man admits that he's wrong that he is immediately forgiven for all wrongdoings? Have you ever heard that?

Jules: Get the fuck out my face with that shit! The motherfucker that said that shit never had to pick up itty-bitty pieces of skull on account of your dumb ass.

Vincent: I got a threshold, Jules. I got a threshold for the abuse that I will take. Now, right now, I'm a fuckin' race car, right, and you got me the red. And I'm just sayin', I'm just sayin' that it's fuckin' dangerous to have a race car in the fuckin' red. That's all. I could blow.

Jules: Oh! Oh! You ready to blow?

Vincent: Yeah, I'm ready to blow.

Jules: Well, I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Every time my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly T.N.T., I'm the Guns of the Navarone! IN FACT, WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOIN' IN THE BACK? YOU'RE THE MOTHERFUCKER WHO SHOULD BE ON BRAIN DETAIL! We're fuckin' switchin'! I'm washin' the windows, and you're pickin' up this nigger's skull!

Jules: I want you to go in that bag, and find my wallet.

Pumpkin: Which one is it?

Jules: It's the one that says Bad Motherfucker.

The Wolf: Jimmie, lead the way. Boys, get to work.

Vincent: A please would be nice.

The Wolf: Come again?

Vincent: I said a please would be nice.

The Wolf: Get it straight buster - I'm not here to say please, I'm here to tell you what to do and if self-preservation is an instinct you possess you'd better fucking do it and do it quick. I'm here to help - if my help's not appreciated then lotsa luck, gentlemen.

Jules: No, Mr. Wolf, it ain't like that, your help is definitely appreciated.

Vincent: I don't mean any disrespect, I just don't like people barking orders at me.

The Wolf: If I'm curt with you it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast and I need you guys to act fast if you wanna get out of this. So, pretty please... with sugar on top. Clean the fucking car.

[Jules, Vincent and Jimmie are drinking coffee in Jimmie's kitchen]

Jules: Mmmm! Goddamn, Jimmie! This is some serious gourmet shit! Usually, me and Vince would be happy with some freeze-dried Taster's Choice right, but he springs this serious GOURMET shit on us! What flavor is this?

Jimmie: Knock it off, Julie.

Jules: [pause] What?

Jimmie: I don't need you to tell me how fucking good my coffee is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys SHIT. I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I want to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now? It AIN'T the coffee in my kitchen, it's the dead nigger in my garage.

Jules: Oh, Jimmie, don't even worry about that...

Jimmie: [interupting] No, No, No, No, let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said "Dead Nigger Storage"?

Jules: Jimmie, you know I ain't seen no...

Jimmie: [cutting him off again; getting angry] Did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said "Dead Nigger Storage"?

Jules: [pause] No. I didn't.

Jimmie: You know WHY you didn't see that sign?

Jules: Why?

Jimmie: 'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead niggers ain't my fucking business, that's why!

[Jules and Vincent take Marvin with them in their car and Vincent's gun goes off and blows Marvin's head off]

Vincent: Whoa!

Jules: What the fuck's happening, man? Ah, shit man!

Vincent: Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face.

Jules: Why the fuck did you do that!

Vincent: Well, I didn't mean to do it, it was an accident!

Jules: Oh man I've seen some crazy ass shit in my time...

Vincent: Chill out, man. I told you it was an accident. You probably went over a bump or something.

Jules: Hey, the car didn't hit no motherfucking bump!

Vincent: Hey, look man, I didn't mean to shoot the son of a bitch. The gun went off. I don't know why.

Jules: Well look at this fucking mess, man. We're on a city street in broad daylight here!

Vincent: I don't believe it.

Jules: Well believe it now, motherfucker! We gotta get this car off the road! You know cops tend to notice shit like you're driving a car drenched in fucking blood.

Vincent: Just take it to a friendly place, that's all.

Jules: This is the Valley, Vincent. Marsellus ain't got no friendly places in the Valley.

Vincent: Well Jules, this ain't my fucking town, man!

Jules: Shit!

[Jules dials a number on his cell phone]

Vincent: What you doin'?

Jules: I'm calling Jimmie, my old partner. He lives in Toluca Lake.

Vincent: Where's Toluca Lake?

Jules: It's just over the hill here over by Burbank Studios. If Jimmie's ass ain't home, I don't know what the fuck we're going to do, man. 'Cause I ain't got no other partners in 8-1-8.

[into the phone]

Jules: Hey Jimmie, yo! How you doin', man? It's Jules. Listen up man. Me and my homeboy are in serious fucking shit. We're in a car and we gotta get off the road, pronto. I need to use your garage for a couple of hours.

Jules: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... stop right there. Eatin' a bitch out, and givin' a bitch a foot massage ain't even the same fuckin' thing.

Vincent: It's not. It's the same ballpark.

Jules: Ain't no fuckin' ballpark neither. Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but, you know, touchin' his wife's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her Holiest of Holies, ain't the same fuckin' ballpark, it ain't the same league, it ain't even the same fuckin' sport. Look, foot massages don't mean shit.

Vincent: Have you ever given a foot massage?

Jules: [scoffs] Don't be tellin' me about foot massages. I'm the foot fuckin' master.

Vincent: Given a lot of 'em?

Jules: Shit yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I don't be ticklin' or nothin'.

Vincent: Would you give a guy a foot massage?

[Jules gives Vincent a long look, realizing he's been set up]

Jules: Fuck you.

Vincent: You give them a lot?

Jules: Fuck you.

Vincent: You know, I'm getting kinda tired. I could use a foot massage myself.

Jules: Man, you best back off, I'm gittin' a little pissed here.

Jules: I don't wanna hear about no motherfuckin' ifs. All I wanna hear from your ass is, You ain't got no problem, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them niggers out and wait for the cavalry which should be coming directly.

Marsellus: You ain't got no problem, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them niggers out and wait for the Wolf who should be coming directly.

Jules: Bitch, be cool!

Jules: We should have shotguns for this kind of deal.

Vincent: How many up there?

Jules: Three or four.

Vincent: That's countin' our guy?

Jules: Not sure.

Vincent: So that means there could be up to five guys up there?

Jules: It's possible.

Vincent: We should have fuckin' shotguns.

Jules: Hey kids! How you boys doin'?

[to man laying on the couch]

Jules: Hey, keep chillin'. You know who we are? We're associates of your business partner Marsellus Wallace. You do remember your business partner don't you? Let me take a wild guess here. You're Brett, right?

Brett: Yeah.

Jules: I thought so. You remember your business partner Marsellus Wallace, don't you, Brett?

Brett: Yeah, yeah, I remember him.

Jules: Good. Looks like me an Vincent caught you boys at breakfast. Sorry about that. Whatcha havin'?

Brett: Hamburgers.

Jules: Hamburgers! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast. What kind of hamburgers?

Brett: Ch-cheeseburgers.

Jules: No, no no, where'd you get 'em? McDonalds? Wendy's? Jack in the Box? Where?

Brett: Big Kahuna Burger.

Jules: Big Kahuna Burger. That's that Hawaiian burger joint. I hear they got some tasty burgers. I ain't never had one myself. How are they?

Brett: They're good.

Jules: Mind if I try one of yours? This is yours here, right?

[Picks up burger and takes a bite]

Jules: Mmm-mmmm. That is a tasty burger. Vincent, ever have a Big Kahuna Burger?

[Vincent shakes his head]

Jules: Wanna bite? They're real tasty.

Vincent: Ain't hungry.

Jules: Well, if you like burgers give 'em a try sometime. I can't usually get 'em myself because my girlfriend's a vegitarian which pretty much makes me a vegitarian. But I do love the taste of a good burger. Mm-mm-mm. You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France?

Brett: No.

Jules: Tell 'em, Vincent.

Vincent: A Royale with cheese.

Jules: A Royale with cheese! You know why they call it that?

Brett: Because of the metric system?

Jules: Check out the big brain on Brett! You're a smart motherfucker. That's right. The metric system. What's in this?

Brett: Sprite.

Jules: Sprite, good. You mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down?

Brett: Go right ahead.

Jules: Ah, hit the spot.

Jules: Now Yolanda, we're not gonna do anything stupid, are we?

Yolanda: You don't hurt him.

Jules: Nobody's gonna hurt anybody. We're gonna be like three little Fonzies here. And what's Fonzie like? Come on Yolanda what's Fonzie like?

Yolanda: Cool?

Jules: What?

Yolanda: He's cool.

Jules: Correctamundo. And that's what we're gonna be. We're gonna be cool. Now Ringo, I'm gonna count to three, and when I count three, you let go of your gun, and sit your ass down. But when you do it, you do it cool. Ready? One... two... three.

[Ringo sits down opposite Jules]

Yolanda: All right, now you let him go.

Jules: Yolanda, I thought you said you were gonna be cool. Now when you yell at me, it makes me nervous. And when I get nervous, I get scared. And when motherfuckers get scared, that's when motherfuckers accidentally get shot.

Yolanda: You just know, you touch him, you die.

Jules: Well, that seems to be the situation. But I don't want that. And you don't want that. And Ringo here *definitely* doesn't want that.

Jules: This was Divine Intervention! You know what "divine intervention" is?

Vincent: Yeah, I think so. That means God came down from Heaven and stopped the bullets.

Jules: Yeah, man, that's what it means. That's exactly what it means! God came down from Heaven and stopped the bullets.

Vincent: I think we should be going now.

Jules: Don't do that! Don't you fucking do that! Don't blow this shit off! What just happened was a fucking miracle!

Vincent: Chill the fuck out, Jules, this shit happens.

Jules: Wrong! Wrong, this shit doesn't just happen.

Vincent: Do you wanna continue this theological discussion in the car, or at the jailhouse with the cops?

Jules: We should be fuckin' dead now, my friend! We just witnessed a miracle, and I want you to fucking acknowledge it!

Vincent: Okay man, it was a miracle, can we leave now?

Jules: [talking about Mia, Marsellus Wallace's wife] I think her biggest deal was she starred in a pilot.

Vincent: Pilot? What's a pilot?

Jules: Well, you know the shows on TV?

Vincent: I don't watch TV.

Jules: Yeah, but, you are aware that there's an invention called television, and on this invention they show shows, right?

Vincent: Yeah.

Jules: Well, the way they pick TV shows is, they make one show. That show's called a pilot. Then they show that one show to the people who pick shows, and on the strength of that one show they decide if they want to make more shows. Some get chosen and become television programs. Some don't, become nothing. She starred in one of the ones that became nothing.

Jules: I hate to shatter your ego, but this is not the first time I've had a gun pointed at me.

Pumpkin: You don't take your fucking hand off that case, it'll be your last.

Vincent: You know what they put on French fries in Holland instead of ketchup?

Jules: What?

Vincent: Mayonnaise.

Jules: Goddamn.

Vincent: I've seen 'em do it, man. They fuckin' drown 'em in that shit.

Jules: Shit Negro! That's all you had to say!

Jules: Yolanda? How we doin, baby?

Yolanda: I gotta go pee! I want to go home.

Jules: Just hang in there, baby. You're doing' great. Ringo's proud of you and so am I. It's almost over. Tell her you're proud of her.

Pumpkin: I'm proud of you, Honey Bunny.

Yolanda: I love you!

Pumpkin: I love you too, Honey Bunny.

Jules: Look, just because I don't be givin' no man a foot massage don't make it right for Marsellus to throw Antwone into a glass motherfuckin' house, fuckin' up the way the nigger talks. Motherfucker do that shit to me, he better paralyze my ass, 'cause I'll kill the motherfucker, know what I'm sayin'?

Vincent: I ain't saying it's right. But you're saying a foot massage don't mean nothing, and I'm saying it does. Now look, I've given a million ladies a million foot massages, and they all meant something. We act like they don't, but they do, and that's what's so fucking cool about them. There's a sensuous thing going on where you don't talk about it, but you know it, she knows it, fucking Marsellus knew it, and Antwone should have fucking better known better. I mean, that's his fucking wife, man. He can't be expected to have a sense of humor about that shit. You know what I'm saying?

Jules: That's an interesting point. Come on, let's get into character.

The Wolf: Strip.

Jules: All the way?

The Wolf: To your bare ass.

Vincent: Is this necessary?

The Wolf: Yes. You know what you guys look like?

Jules: What?

The Wolf: Like a couple of guys who just blew off somebody's head!

[to Jimmie]

The Wolf: Now Jimmie, hand them the soap.

[Jimmie gives Jules and Vincent each a bar of soap]

The Wolf: Well, now I'm sure you've all been to county.

[sprays them both with hose]

Jules: [All while Honey Bunny is screaming] Tell that bitch to be cool! Say 'bitch be cool'!

Pumpkin: Be cool honey!

Jules: Say bitch be cool! Tell that fuckin' bitch to chill!

Pumpkin: Be cool Honey Bunny!

Jules: Chill that fuckin' bitch out!

Pumpkin: Shut up, Honey!

Jules: Look, do you wanna play blindman? Go walk with the shepherd. But me, my eyes are wide fucking open.

Vincent: What the fuck does that mean?

Jules: It means, that's it for me. From here on in you can consider my ass retired.

Vincent: Jesus Christ.

Jules: Don't blaspheme.

Vincent: Goddamn.

Jules: I said don't do that!

Jules: Do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France?

Brett: No.

Jules: Tell him, Vincent.

Vincent: Royale with cheese.

Jules: Royale with cheese. Do you know why they call it a Royale with cheese?

Brett: Because of the metric system?

Jules: Check out the big brain on Brett. You one smart motherfucker.

Jules: You remember Antoine Roccamora, half black, half Samoan, used to call him Tony Rocky Horror?

Vincent: Yeah, maybe. Fat, right?

Jules: I wouldn't go so far as to call the brother fat, I mean he got a weight problem. What's the nigger gonna do? He's Samoan.

Paul: So, I hear you're taking Mia out.

Vincent: At Marsellus's request.

Paul: You met Mia yet?

Vincent: No.

[Jules and Paul laugh]

Vincent: What's so fucking funny?

Jules: I gotta piss.

[exits]

Vincent: Look, I'm not stupid. It's the Big Man's wife. I'm gonna sit across from her, chew my food with my mouth closed, laugh at her fucking jokes, and that's it.

Jules: Normally, both your asses would be dead as fucking fried chicken, but you happen to pull this shit while I'm in a transitional period so I don't wanna kill you, I wanna help you. But I can't give you this case, it don't belong to me. Besides, I've already been through too much shit this morning over this case to hand it over to your dumb ass.

The Wolf: You guys look like... What do they look like, Jimmie?

Jimmie: Dorks. They look like a couple of dorks.

Jules: Ha-ha-ha. They're your clothes, motherfucker.

The Wolf: Maybe I can give you guys a ride. Where do you live?

Vincent: Redondo Beach.

Jules: Inglewood.

The Wolf: In your future... I see a cab ride. Move out of the sticks, gentlemen.

[last lines]

Vincent: I think we should be leaving now.

Jules: Yeah, that's probably a good idea.

Jules: So, tell me again about the hashbars?

Vincent: Okay, what you wanna know?

Jules: Hash is legal there in Amsterdam, right?

Vincent: Yeah, it's legal, but it ain't a hundred percent legal. I mean, you can't just walk into a restaurant, roll a joint and start puffing away. You're only supposed to smoke in your home or certain designated places.

Jules: And those are hashbars?

Vincent: Yeah. It breaks down like this: it's legal to buy it, it's legal to own it, and, if you're the proprietor of a hash bar, it's legal to sell it. It's still illegal to carry it around, but that doesn't really matter 'cause... get a load of this: if you get stopped by the cops in Amsterdam, it's illegal for them to search you. I mean, that's a right the cops in Amsterdam don't have.

Jules: [laughing] I'm going, that's all there is to it, I'm fuckin' going.

Vincent: Yeah baby, you'd dig it the most.

Jules: I don't know why, I just thought he'd be European or something because he...

Vincent: Yeah, man, he's about as European as fuckin' English Bob.

Jules: You know the shows on TV?

Vincent: I don't watch TV.

Jules: Yeah, but, you are aware that there's an invention called television, and on this invention they show shows, right?

Jules: I'll just walk the earth.

Vincent: What'cha mean walk the earth?

Jules: You know, walk the earth, meet people... get into adventures. Like Caine from "Kung Fu."

The Wolf: Now boys, listen up. We're going to a place called Monster Joe's Truck and Tow. I'll drive the tainted car. Jules, you ride with me. Vincent, you follow in my Acura. We run across the path of any John Q. Laws, nobody does a fucking thing unless I do it first. What did I just say?

Jules: Don't do shit unless.

The Wolf: Unless what?

Jules: Unless you do it first.

The Wolf: Spoken like a true prodigy. How about you, Lash LaRue? You think you can keep your spurs from jinglin' and janglin'?

Vincent: Look, Mr. Wolf, my gun went off, I don't know why, and now you're helping us out of the situation. I'm cool with it, all right?

The Wolf: Fair enough. Now I drive real fucking fast, so keep up. I get my car back any differently than when I gave it, Monster Joe's gonna be disposing of two bodies.

Jules: Whether or not what we experienced was an According to Hoyle miracle is insignificant. What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved.

Marvin: [cowering and shivering in the corner after seeing Brett get shot down by Jules and Vincent] Oh, fuck! I'm fucked. Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!

Vincent: Is he a friend of yours?

Jules: Hmm? Oh, Vincent, Marvin. Marvin, Vincent.

Vincent: [as Marvin continues crying and carrying on] Better tell him to shut the fuck up. He's gettin' on my nerves!

Jules: Marvin? Marvin... MARVIN!

[Marvin looks up]

Jules: I'd knock that shit off if I was you.

Jules: My name's Pitt, and your ass ain't talkin' your way outta this shit.

Jules: Shut the fuck up, fat man!

Jules: Hey, that's Kool and the Gang.

Jules: You read the Bible, Brett?

Brett: Yes.

Jules: Well, there's this passage I got memorized, sorta fits the occasion. "Ezekiel 25:17". "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of cherish and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

[Jules and Vincent shoot and kill Brett]

Jules: You break my heart. Then again, you break everyone's heart.

Jules: Don't you enjoy anything anymore... like girls?

Kevin: I enjoy being afraid of Russia. It's a harmless fear, but it makes America feel better, Russia gets an inflated sense of national worth from our paranoia. How's that?

Leslie: How's Howie?

Wendy: Oh well, I wouldn't say my father's trying to bribe me, but he did offer me a Chrysler Lebaron convertible if I get engaged to Howie.

Jules: Have you fucked him yet?

Wendy: Jules!... God.

Jules: Listen... get the car, fuck him, and if you don't like him, break the engagement... And then you can still fuck him.

Wendy: We're really worried about this affair with your boss.

Jules: I don't know why you're both so worried... So, I bop him for a couple of years, get his job when he gets his hands caught in the vault, do a black mink ad, retire in utter disgrace, then write a best seller and be a fabulous host on my own talk show...

Jules: I thought you were taking steps to phase out everything that wasn't working in your life.

Wendy: That doesn't leave much.

Leslie: Alec is becoming a Republican... and he wants to get *married!* Oh, my God!

Jules: I always *knew* he was a Republican!

Jules: But not this one, Jim. Okay?

Jules: Catherine never does anything halfway. She's an irresistible force that can't be stopped. Her harmony is never shaken because... she knows she is always innocent.

Jim: You speak of her as if she was a queen.

Jules: She is a queen. Let me be frank. She's not especially beautiful or intelligent or sincere... but she is a real woman. And that is why we love her... and all men desire her. Despite this, why did she make us a gift... of her presence? Because we treated her like a queen.

Jules: She's more optimistic than you where time's concerned. She was at the hairdresser's and and arrived at 8:00 to dine with you.

Jim: If I'd known she might still come, I'd have waited til midnight.

Jules: [voice over] But it was not allowed

[Last lines]

Gwen: Upstairs woman or downstairs woman?

[Jules stands up on bed and listens; then she puts her ear to floor and listens]

Jules: Both.

Jules: How long?

Gwen: I don't know. A while.

Jules: A while sounds too long.

Marty: Okay, my turn! Jules!

Jules: Mmm?

Marty: Truth or dare?

Jules: Let's go dare.

Marty: All right. I dare you... to make out with...

Curt: Please say "Dana," please say "Dana," please say "Dana."

Marty: ...that moose, over there.

Dana: Um, Marty? Have you ever seen a moose before?

Marty: Whatever that mysterious beast is.

Curt: That's a wolf.

Holden: That's clearly a wolf.

[Curt sees that Jules is holding textbooks about Soviet economics and the Cold War]

Curt: What is this? What are these? What are you doing with these?

Dana: Okay. I get it. I'll leave the books.

Curt: [angrily to Jules] No, no, no. Who gave you these? Who taught you about these?

Jules: I learned it from you! Okay? I learned it from watching you!

[She runs out of the room in tears. Curt laughs]

Jules: Where are we?

Alba: In a castle.

Jules: What castle?

Alba: Where the witch makes poisoned red apples to advertise the toothpaste movie stars use.

[Last Lines]

Jules: It's the only recording.

Cynthia Hawkins: It was you?

Jules: It's yours. It's my gift to you. Forgive me.

Cynthia Hawkins: But... I've never heard myself sing!

Jules: Listen...

Cynthia Hawkins: Do you steal the dresses of all singers?

Jules: No, no.

Cynthia Hawkins: So, I'M the lucky one! I have a fan?

Jules: I heard you in Bordeaux. And last year I went to Munich specially for the concert.

Cynthia Hawkins: You made the trip for me?

Jules: Yes, on the moped.

Cynthia Hawkins: On the moped. So, you ARE a real fan.

[In Cynthia's hotel suite]

Cynthia Hawkins: What's your name, Mr. Postman?

Jules: [Smiles] Jules.

Cynthia Hawkins: Jules! Jules is old for a young man. I thought the French were modern.

Jules: My father was old-fashioned.

Cynthia Hawkins: [Laughs] I'm kidding! Jules fits you so poorly that it fits you very well. Jules...

N'Doula: [Motioning to Cynthia] She's the queen of Africa.

Jules: [Smiling at Cynthia] She's the queen of the night.

Jules: [eyeing the scene printed on Alba's miniskirt] Is that the Opera House?

Alba: No, that's my ass.

[At Jules' apartment]

Alba: Pretty gloomy setting!

Jules: Think so? A monument to disaster... deluxe style!