Judy Quotes in BMX Bandits (1983)

Judy: [to kidnappers] And they all turned into Zombies!

Judy: Well, you know what they say. Two's company. Three gets us talked about.

Judy: Your little walkie talkies... have gone walkies.

Judy: All I want for Christmas is you.

John: So, what do you reckon to our new Prime Minister, then?

Judy: Oh, I like him. I can't understand why he's not married, though.

John: Well, you know the type. He's, uh, married to his job. Either that, or gay as a picnic basket.

John: I might get a shag at last!

Judy: Naughty!

Judy: Ellen!

Ellen: Eli.

Judy: Uh, you know... Ellen was your great-grandmother's name.

Ellen: I bet she didn't like it either.

Judy: Maybe we should eat?

Harold Wormser: Maybe we should watch TV?

Booger: Hey guys...

[opens his leather jacket to reveal some Marijuana cigarettes]

Booger: ... wonder joints.

Toby Wright: Liza Weld. She did the Kennedy Scholarship at my college. I had a little thing for her at the time.

Judy: I can imagine, yeah.

Toby Wright: Don't think she remembered me, to be honest.

Judy: That is one of the side-effects of Rohypnol.

Judy: I'll just leave you to your thoughts, OK?

Simon Foster: I haven't got any thoughts. I'm just staring vacantly into space while a distant voice in the back of my head goes, "Oh, shit!" like a car alarm in the middle of the night.

Simon Foster: Judy and I thought I could row back on Question Time, tonight

Malcolm Tucker: You're not going on Question Time tonight, you've been disinvited

Simon Foster: We've been prepping Question Time!

Judy: Why wasn't I told about this?

Malcolm Tucker: Why the fuck would I tell you about it? I've just told you to fuck off twice yet you're still here?

Judy: You should tell me about it as it's a scheduled media appearance by a member of this department and therefore it falls well within my purview!

Malcolm Tucker: Within your 'purview'? Where do you think you are, some fucking regency costume drama? This is a government department, not some fucking Jane fucking Austen novel! Allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet on your purview and ram it up your shitter with a lubricated horse cock!

Judy: Your swearing does not impress me. My husband works for Tower Hamlets and believe me those kids make you sound like... Angela Lansbury!

Malcolm Tucker: [to Simon] She's married? Poor bastard.

Judy: You know they're all kids in Washington? It's like Bugsy Malone, but with real guns.

Malcolm Tucker: Right. Was it you?

Simon Foster: No, it wasn't. No. What?

Malcolm Tucker: You do know what I'm talking about, don't you?

Simon Foster: No. And... And... whatever it was, I almost certainly didn't do it.

Malcolm Tucker: Was it you, the baby from Eraserhead?

Toby Wright: No, no.

Malcolm Tucker: Then it must have been you, the woman from The Crying Game.

Judy: It wasn't me.

Malcolm Tucker: You, hey, put the snifter out there that if the BBC ambushes a minister with another surprise question about the war, I'll drop a bomb on them.

Judy: I can't do that, can I? That's political.

Malcolm Tucker: Does that not fit within your purview, Marie Antoinette? Why don't you just scuttle off back to fucking Cranford and play around with your tea and your cakes and your fucking horse cocks. Let them eat cock!

[to Toby]

Malcolm Tucker: Hey, you! Ron Weasley, you do it.

Simon Foster: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Why didn't we nail the line?

Judy: Simon, I did try to warn you...

Simon Foster: Yes, you tried to warn me, but you didn't actually stop me, did you...

Judy: Well I can't tackle you to the ground...

Simon Foster: ...by shouting 'train' at somebody as they get hit by a train. You should go 'train! there's a fucking train!'

Judy: Then she had her utopian tubes removed.

Gardner: "No That's fallopian darlin'.

Judy: Fallopian? Them's books of the bible silly... first and second fallopians!

Maggie Dean: [Slightly drunk] Stop trying Judy. Stop trying. There are worse things then being a shitty mother.

Judy: [looking embarrassed and close to crying] So... if you've finished... vomiting all over me

[nervous laugh]

Judy: I'll just say er thank you for dinner and er Milo thank you for the invitation

[Milo looks over at her]

Judy: and I'm sorry that I've ended up being so toxic. I just want you both to know...

Maggie Dean: [Turning away] oh my god.

Judy: ...I'm sending you the light... when it lands.

[leaves]

Milo Dean: [Taking a drink of wine] Well at least she's sending us the light.

Judy: [Hank starts kissing her] Hank, come on.

Hank: What?

Judy: You know I made an abstinence pledge. I promised myself I would wait until I was sure I was with the right guy.

Hank: I thought I was the right guy.

Judy: You might be, I'm just not sure. But I like you a lot.

Blue Bally: [brief pause]

[Pops up from behind the couch]

Blue Bally: Hi sexually frustrated teenager, I'm Blue Bally! And if you and your girlfriend don't have sex soon, your going to wind up with a serious case of blue balls! That's right, your nuts are going to turn blue.

Hank: What do you mean?

Blue Bally: [Sits down on couch] See Hank, right now your testicles are filled with semen, and only a little bit's dripping out. That's called pre-cum. What you wanna do, is ejaculate, otherwise that backup of jizz will cause pressure in your nut sack to the point of making you nauseous.

Hank: So what do I do?

Blue Bally: Well, the way I see it, even if your girlfriend won't have intercourse with you, the least you should be able to get is a hand job.

Hank: Judi, I want you to know that I really do care about you, and I've known that since the first time I saw you in Bible Study class.

[She puts her hand on his crotch for a brief moment]

Blue Bally: Uh oh, that's not good.

Hank: What do you mean?

Blue Bally: With that kind of arousal, it's only a matter of seconds before full on irreversable blue balls! You better go to the bathroom and jerk off right now.

Hank: Here?

Blue Bally: Yes, go, there's no time to waste!

Hank: [after hank masterbates, he walks in on Judy and Blue Bally having sex] Blue Bally!

Blue Bally: Hope you like sloppy seconds!

Judy: Love means never having to say you're sorry.

Howard: That's the dumbest thing I ever heard.

Eunice: Don't you know the meaning of propriety?

Judy: Propriety; noun: conformity to established standards of behavior or manner, suitability, rightness, or justice. See "etiquette."

Judy: You don't wanna marry someone who's gonna get all wrinkled, lined and flabby!

Howard: Everyone gets wrinkled, lined and flabby!

Judy: By next week?

Hugh: I find that as difficult to swallow as this potage au gelee.

Judy: How would you like to swallow one sandwich d'knuckles?

[Meeting Mr. Larabee]

Howard: You! You!

Judy: Eu-nice. Eunice. We've almost gotten that stammer cured.

Howard: How! How!

Judy: How-ard. Howard. He always gets stuck on names. It must be the excitement of meeting you for the first time.

Judy: Has anyone ever told you that you are very, very sexy?

Hugh: Well, actually no.

Judy: They never will.

[Howard walks into the hotel gift shop, wanders around, picks up a big rock, a souvenir of Alcatraz, and taps it with a tuning fork]

Judy: What's up, Doc?

Howard: I beg your pardon?

Judy: We've gotta stop meeting like this.

Howard: I think you're making a mistake. You see, I just came in here for something for a headache.

Judy: You're gonna need an awful big glass of water to get that down.

Howard: What? Oh no, no you see I'm a musicologist. I was just testing this specimen for inherent tonal qualities. I have this theory about early man's musical relationship to igneous rock formations. But I guess you're not really interested in igneous rock formations.

Judy: Not as much as I am in the sedimentary or metamorphic rock categories. I mean, I can take your igneous rocks or leave 'em. I relate primarily to micas, quartz, feldspar. You can keep your Pyroxenes, magnetites and coarse grained plutonics as far as I'm concerned.

Howard: I forgot why I came in here.

Judy: Headache.

Howard: Oh, yes. Thank you. And good bye.

[Howard returns to his room after the dinner and starts changing into his pyjamas]

Judy: [calling from the bathroom] Hello out there.

Howard: [responding automatically] Hello.

[mutters to himself]

Judy: [calling from the bathroom] What?

[Howard runs to the bathroom and drops his pyjama trousers, Judy's taking a big bubble bath]

Judy: I believe you dropped something.

Howard: What do you think you are doing?

Judy: I think I'm taking a bath aren't I?

Howard: If you're not out of here in two minutes, I'm calling the police.

Judy: Who do you think they'll arrest? The girl in the tub or the guy with his pants down?

Howard: I am not joking now. I do not like to act rashly, but you are the last straw that breaks my camel's back, you are the plague, you bring havoc and chaos to everyone, but why to me? Why me? Why?

Judy: Because you look cute in your pyjamas, Steve.

Howard: GET OUT!

Judy: Right now?

Howard: YES!

[Judy starts to get out the bath]

Howard: No! Wait a minute!

Hugh: I think the Hugh Simon theory will stand the test of time.

Judy: Exactly what *is* that theory Mr Simon?

Hugh: I doubt you are qualified to understand it but it says that the 16th and 17th century composers developed a uniform scale platform based upon the intervals utilised in the mountaineer yodel.

Judy: And you developed this theory? That should come as a shock to Professor Findelmeyer.

Hugh: I don't know what you're talking about.

Judy: Sure you do, the Findelmeyer Proposition.

Hugh: I don't know what you're talking about, besides that has never been translated.

Judy: Just once. Harvard Musicological review, 1925. It's probably out of print now...

Frederick Larrabee: Of course! Professor Heinrich Findelmeyer, the university of Zurich, 1911, the controversial Findelmeyer Proposition, no wonder it sounded so familiar. I'm sorry Simon

[rips up the grant check]

Hugh: This is despicable.

Frederick Larrabee: Hugh, you're a bad loser, you're a plagiarist and you're nasty. I don't like you and I want you to go away.

Judy: I know I'm different, but from now on I'm going to try and be the same.

Howard: The same as what?

Judy: The same as people who aren't different.

Judge Maxwell: You. You in the blanket! You seem to have caused all this trouble. Exactly what have you got to say for yourself?

Judge Maxwell: [Judy lowers the blanket] Judy!

Judy: Hello, Daddy...

[the judge's bench collapses]

Howard: What am I gonna tell Eunice?

Judy: That's the easy part. You go up to her room. She answers the door; now she will have been crying so her eyes will be all bloodshot and her nose will be all red and runny, but you look past all that. You stare purposefully into those red-rimmed, swollen eyes, and you say, "Eunice, my dear, there's been a terrible mistake. I've behaved like a cad, a bounder! But now I see everything clearly and I've decided that Judy and I are gonna put you into a home."

Howard: That is not funny!

Judy: Well, this last time was not my fault.

Howard: What happened?

Judy: Nothing, nothing, really. It was just a little classroom, it sort of burned down.

Howard: Burned down?

Judy: Well, blew up actually.

Howard: Political activism?

Judy: Chemistry major.

Howard: I see.

Judy: Steve, you didn't tell me you were married.

Howard: We're not married.

Judy: Congratulations.

Eunice: But we will be soon.

Judy: Condolences.

[Judy and Howard have their heads under the table, Howard is trying to convince Judy to leave, Frederick joins them]

Frederick Larrabee: What's going on down here? You two just can't keep away from each other, can you?

Howard: Oh, we were just talking.

Hugh: [Joins them] Are you all right Mr Larrabee? Can I help?

Frederick Larrabee: No, it's fine, we were just chatting.

Musicologist: [Joins them] What's the matter?

Musicologist: [Joins them] Anything wrong?

Frederick Larrabee: No.

Judy: We're just testing a theory Howard has about Vocal Reverberation Under Spinal Pressure.

Professor Hosquith: [Joins them] What? Vocal Reverberation Under Spinal Pressure?

Judy: You know, V.R.U.S.P.?

Musicologist: Oh yes!

Musicologist: I think I read a monograph on that.

Frederick Larrabee: We would like to hear the story that Miss Burns...

Judy: Burnsey!

Frederick Larrabee: That Burnsey...

Howard: He's calling her Burnsey.

Frederick Larrabee: That Burnsey was telling us. What was it Howard? Some incredible adventure you had on your flight here?

Howard: Yes. No.

Judy: I'm afraid my Howard is too modest to tell you the story himself. It all started when we passed the point of no return.

Howard: I think we just passed it.

Judy: One of the engines failed and the flux valve refused to disconnect. One of the pilots fainted from an over supply of fear and went into this power dive. So Howard took his rocks into the cockpit and selected two of them with a particularly high magnetic content and set up an electrically induced field pattern on the giro counter...

Howard: I'm having a nightmare.

Howard: Sir, I must point out to you...

Frederick Larrabee: I must point out to you that foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Judy: Emerson!

Frederick Larrabee: I beg your pardon?

Judy: Ralph Waldo Emerson, born 1803 died 1882.

Frederick Larrabee: You like Emerson?

Judy: I adore him.

Frederick Larrabee: I adore anyone who adores Emerson.

Judy: And I adore anyone who adores anyone who adores Emerson, your turn!

Frederick Larrabee: She's a delight Bannister, a delight and you're a lucky dog.

Howard: I...

Frederick Larrabee: Admit it! Admit you're a lucky dog.

Howard: I'm a lucky dog.

Frederick Larrabee: Miss Burns, may I call you Eunice?

Howard: No!

Frederick Larrabee: What's that?

Judy: What Howard means is that back where we come from everyone calls me Burnsey.

Frederick Larrabee: Burnsey! I like that.

Howard: What are you doing? This is a one way street!

Judy: We're only going one way.

Judy: [resisting hiding on the ledge outside the window] I can't I'm terrified of heights.

Howard: There's a ledge.

Judy: I have ledge-o-phobia.

Howard: [Eunice bangs on door] Just until I can get rid of her.

Judy: I can't!

Howard: [Eunice bangs again] She's got a terrible temper!

Judy: I can't!

Howard: She studies karate.

Judy: Maybe I can.

Judy: I think I'll get dressed now.

Eunice: [on telephone] Howard, who was that?

Howard: Who was what?

Eunice: I heard a voice say something about getting dressed.

Howard: It's the television set, Eunice. There's a movie on, a war movie. They're getting dressed for the big battle.

Eunice: It was a woman's voice!

Howard: Yes, they're lady soldiers, Eunice. It's called the "Fighting WACs".

Judy: [dressed in a towel on the ledge looking at the burning hotel room] Miss Burns what are you doing in Howard Banister's bedroom? Don't you know the meaning of propriety?

Judy: Aw come-on, Steve, you don't want to marry Eunice.

Howard: I'm not Steve. I'm Howard.

Judy: Well neither of you wants to marry Eunice.

Howard: Why do you say that?

Judy: Because you don't want to marry someone who's gonna get all wrinkled, lined, and flabby.

Howard: Everybody gets wrinkled, lined, and flabby!

Judy: By next week?

Judy: I can't see!

Howard: There's nothing to see really, we're inside a Chinese dragon.

[Judy and Howard's Volkswagen Beetle is speeding along a pier towards a departing ferry]

Judy: We can make it...

Howard: No.

Judy: We can make it...

Howard: No.

Judy: [the beetle arcs gracefully into San Francisco Bay] I don't think we can make it.

Judy: It wasn't all bad was it? Although it was terrible they took the grant away from you.

Howard: They had to do that. You see, the foundation just isn't used to having to bail its founder out of jail.

Howard: I can't see!

Judy: Here, I'll clean your glasses.

[removes his glasses]

Howard: Now I really can't see. Judy, I can't see.

[Judy returns his glasses]

Howard: Oh God. I can see.

[throws his glasses out of the car window]

Judy: Ooh, hey look at that! Go up there!

Howard: What? No!

Judy: Yes!

[they drive onto a car transport full of other vw beetles]

Howard: Now what?

Judy: Back up.

Howard: I knew you'd say that.

Judy: I forgot. I forgot to give you this letter. It was under your door when I came back to your room last night.

Howard: Did you open this?

Judy: How else could I have read it?

Judy: [to operator on hotel phone] Uh, Miss Eunice Burns, please.

Eunice: [Answers phone] Yes?

Judy: [Switches to heavy Brooklyn accent] Miss Burns, uh this is Sylvia, Mr. Larrabee's personal secretary. There's been a little mixup in the invitation for this afternoon.

Eunice: Yes.

Judy: Yes. The luncheon has been switched from Mr. Larrabee's home to one of the Larrabee Foundation offices.

Eunice: Oh, but Mr. Bannister has already gone for the...

Judy: Oh yes, I managed to catch Mr. Bannister on his way out and tell him. The address of the luncheon is - uh do you have a pencil, darling?

Eunice: Yes.

Judy: 459 Dirello Street.

Eunice: Dirello...

Judy: Yes, Second floor.

Eunice: I see. Well thank you, Miss...

Judy: Uh Louise.

Eunice: I thought you said 'Sylvia'?

Judy: Uh yes, Sylvia-Louise, you know, with a hyphen.

Judy: I don't know who he is but I hate him.

Judy: Eunice? That's a person named Eunice.

Judy: Yeah, you know Banister? As in "sliding down the-"?

Judy: Having fun?

Howard: I can't find my rocks.

Judy: Lets grab the cases.

Howard: Which ones?

Judy: All of them.

Judy: ...just possibly saving 120 passengers from a tragic firey death.

Frederick Larrabee: I find that story intensely moving.

Judy: Ah, I got an idea.

Howard: What?

Judy: Stick with me. Stick with me kid.

Howard: This is a terrible thing we're doing.

Judy: Nonsense, you're gonna love it.

[they hijack a blue VW Beetle that has been decorarted as a get away car]

Judy: I think there's a good road right down there.

[the road turns out to be a long flight of steps]

Judy: I'm Jeremy.

Lila: You're a man?

Judy: No, no, no, no, no, not really. Not ever. I was born into a man's body but I've always been a woman and well, after the final surgery...

Lila: I think I need a little drink.

Lila: [asking about Maggie] What is going on with her these days?

Judy: You'd have to ask her that, Lila.

Lila: So, there is something going on?

Judy: Oh, well, she's nineteen. There's always something going on when you're nineteen.

[Kim and Maggie have just stopped a woman from beating up Judy]

Kim: Say you're sorry!

Woman in Washroom: I'm sorry!

Judy: ..."I"m sorry, *ma"am*."

Woman in Washroom: I'm... sorry... ma'am.

Judy: Thank you.

Judy: [assuming she is speaking to Rose Shelton] Hi, Rose, how's Duke doing?

Rose Ratliff: Duke! My dog? Boy, when you go snoopin' into people's lives you don't miss a trick do you?

Skip Collins: Don't worry. Don't worry about Alice, she? you think she's gone, she comes back. You know, like herpes.

Judy: Thanks, Skip.

Judy: [on the couch reading, sees Ted and Fred] Yes, boys?

Fred Collins: Can we help you with anything?

Ted Collins: Maybe intern with you?

Judy: [pauses and stares] You can rub my feet if you want.

[sticks foot in the air]

Alice Collins: This isn't about you so.

Judy: Are you talking to the sex toy?

Alice Collins: I'm sure you're a very nice lesbian. Is that the preferred term?

Judy: No, no. We prefer whore.

[about Alice smoking a joint]

Judy: Oh-oh. She's adding ingredients to her personality.

Lucy Collins: This is bullshit.

Judy: Luce...

Lucy Collins: No! I'm sorry, screw her!

Judy: Come on, Luce...

Lucy Collins: No! Don't! She has made a business out of persecuting me and I'm supposed to sit here, at my father's funeral, and watch her fuck-sing at Samantha?

[shouts]

Lucy Collins: Screw that!

Lucy Collins: [Lucy and Judy enter the house]

[to Judy]

Lucy Collins: You remember Skip?

Judy: Yeah.

Lucy Collins: And the boys Tim and Jim, right?

Skip Collins: Yeah, close enough.

Judy: Hi guys, I'm uh, I'm Lucy's life partner.

Fred Collins: [Together with Ted] Lesbians.

Ted Collins: [Together with Fred] Lesbians.

Alice Collins: I suppose I owe you an apology...

Judy: ...Are you working up to it?

Lucy Collins: What're you laughing at?

Ted Collins: I don't know.

Fred Collins: But I can't wait to find out what you two vageniuses are up to.

Judy: What did you just say?

Ted Collins: Lez vocab word!

Lucy Collins: [to Judy] What did he just call us?

Judy: Vageniuses.

Fred Collins: It's a compound compliment.

Mary: You know, I don't, I don't know about this.

Judy: Oh, shut up, Mary. When was the last time someone fucked you so hard you couldn't walk?

Judy: For your information, Alison here is acting all bitchy because I want to set up some paid play dates with a few boys from Moore.

Mary: Play dates?

Judy: Yes.

Mary: You mean for shagging?

Dominica: Mm-hmm. I think it's so cool.

Mary: I think it sounds awful. And completely illegal.

Alison: Yes, it is, Judy.

Judy: Stop being such a fucking square, Mary.

Alison: Mary is not a square. She's old-fashioned.

Judy: I'm sorry, but marrying an agent who is gonna help our little Ginger here with her career and give her a life of arm candy doesn't maker her old-fashioned, it makes her a fucking moron.

Gabe: Change equals death!

Judy: What kind of bullshit? That's just a bullshit line! Maybe you fool your twenty-year-old students into thinking that's some kind of a, an insight or something, but it means nothing! Change is what life is made of! Change - if you don't change, you don't grow, you just shrivel up!

Judy: You use sex to express every emotion except love.

Judy: LEAVE ME ALONE, MILKMAN SCUM!

Judy: Listen, Binky - Shakes may be alcoholic... and a bad lay... but he's not a murderer!

Binky the Clown: [shouts] Not a murderer? How can you say he's not a murderer? He took one of his own juggling pins and smashed in Mr. Cheese's head with the fucking thing! Again and again and again, just hitting and hitting - and the head bursting and splattering underneath. And Boots and Hoho could've stopped me, but they didn't stop me!

Binky the Clown: [Normal voice] Wait... did I say 'me' just then?

Judy: Yes.

Binky the Clown: Whoa! Back up; now I've got to kill *you*! Beautiful! Another red-letter day for Binky the Clown! Just great!

Gabriel: I left because of what the drag queen in the bathroom told me.

Judy: There was a drag queen in the bathroom?

Judy: When you know too much about a person, sometimes it's hard to think of them sexually, but when you know someone in a sexual way, it's hard to think of them as a person.

[Dr. Hackenbush is pointing to a portrait of one of Judy's parents]

Dr. Hackenbush: You know, I proposed to your mother once.

Judy: But that's my father!

Dr. Hackenbush: No wonder he turned me down.

Judy: If you'll excuse me, I'll go and bring in the rest of the staff.

Dr. Hackenbush: [to Whitmore] Why don't you go out and bring in something. Preferably your resignation.

Judy: And do be nice to Mrs. Upjohn, won't you?

Dr. Hackenbush: Well, she's not exactly my type, but for you I'd make love to a crocodile!

Judy: Who's Doctor Hackenbush?

Tony: I don't know. But if she wants a Hac-ken-a-bush, she's gonna get a Hac-ken-a-pus.

Judy: I want to announce your association with the Sanitarium. We'll send your picture to all the papers.

Dr. Hackenbush: The Florida papers?

Judy: Yes. We want it for publicity.

Dr. Hackenbush: Publicity? Oh, we mustn't have any of that, Miss Standish. You know, the ethics of my profession.

Judy: But, we have to get new patients.

Dr. Hackenbush: Well, after all, the old patients were good enough for your father.

Judy: George, your hypochondria's showing.

Judy: When he tells me he's dying and he doesn't DIE... wouldn't he know that I'd get SUSPICIOUS?

Judy: George, remember our first anniversary?

George Kimball: Remember. I made notes!

Judy: I found your tape.

Rodney Miller: What tape?

Judy: The one with the two queers uh sodomizing and felating each other's assholes 10 ways 'til Tuesday.

Rodney Miller: Not my tape.

Judy: I think it is.

Rodney Miller: No, ma'am, it's not.

Judy: Oh, it is, too.

Rodney Miller: Never seen sodomizing to me my eyes no way.

Judy: I had all the girls over from Buddies and Bereavement and we were going to watch the Kirk Cameron film and that's what played instead.

Rodney Miller: Maybe it was Kirk Cameron.

Judy: Vicky... you're, you're getting your master's in something within...

Vicky: Yeah, my master's in, uh, Catalan identity.

Judy: Ah well.

Mark: What do you plan on doing with that?

Vicky: Oh... God, I don't know, uh, maybe teaching, maybe curating.

Judy: Well... you don't have to do something, you know.But she's marrying this wonderful man in the fall and all of her conflicts will be resolved when he makes her pregnant.

Jim Stark: Nobody talks to children.

Judy: No, they just tell them.

Judy: I love somebody. All the time I've been... I've been looking for someone to love me. And now I love somebody. And it's so easy. Why is it easy now?

Jim Stark: I don't know; it is for me, too.

Judy: I love you, Jim. I really mean it.

Jim Stark: Well, I'm glad.

Jim Stark: Is this where you live?

Judy: Who lives?

Judy: Hello, Jamie.

Jim Stark: Jamie?

Jim Stark: Now, would you like to rent or are you more in the mood to buy, dear?

Judy: You decide, darling. Remember, our budget.

Plato: Oh, don't give it a second thought, it's, uh, only 3 million dollars a month.

Jim Stark: What?

Judy: Oh, we can afford it. I'll scrimp and I'll save and I'll work my fingers to the bone. You see, we're newlyweds... oh, there's just one more thing... what about...

Plato: Children?

Judy: Yes.

Plato: Right this way, mind you, though, we don't encourage them. They're such a bother.

Judy: Oh I quite agree, I just can't stand it when they cry. What do you do with them when they cry?

Jim Stark: [Magoo voice] Drown 'em like puppies, ha!

Buzz Gunderson: What's that?

Judy: That's a new disease.

Judy: Come on, I wanna know how you two met.

Nora: I picked him up in a bar. How's that?

Max: I was drunk, and she was drunk, and I liked her looks so I convinced her to let me bring her home, and I seduced her on the sofa bed, and it was magic, and I keep coming back for more.

Judy: Okay, you're my new man... but I'm warning you, don't fuck with me!

Judy: You're so easy to see through, it's embarrassing.

Judy: I'm cold.

Dan: Why don't we crawl in the sack?

Judy: Why don't you fix the fire?

Dan: There's no wood.

Judy: We're in a forest!

Judy: Okay, you big hunk of a man, come and get me!

Judy: She's a real carpenter's dream: flat as a board and needs a screw!

Judy: How come Angela gets to talk to the boys all day, and WE have to play volleyball?

Infinisynth Announcer: [atomic explosion] Stupidity, chaos, cruelty, pain. Reality, a failure worse than any nightmare. There was no fixing it. Nothing to be done, except... escape. Infinisynth: more fantastic than fantasy, more real than reality. The ultimate experience is Infinisynth. It's all been remade for you and it's anything you want it to be. It's your reality. Let your dreams come true in your very own world. Hook into the happiness system. Relax, imagine, enjoy. Hook in.

Judy: Bullshit.

Judy: They want me to marry Harry Flack!

Melvin: Judy, you can't! I - I love you, Judy!

Judy: Shh...Melvin...

Melvin: You're not gonna do it, are you?

Judy: Well, you see...

Melvin: Because if you do it, I'll be very frank about this, Judy. If you do it, I'll kill myself!

Judy: Melvin! Stop it!

Melvin: I mean it! Judy, you know how I feel! I'd do anything for you! I'd rob a bank, I'd take a rocket to the moon, anything! Just ask me!

Judy: Put me on the cover! My picture, on the cover of the magazine!

Melvin: Judy, I said I'd kill myself or take a rocket to the moon, but don't ask the impossible!

Mergo: [About Melvin] The last I saw him, he was going to throw himself off a tall building.

Judy: Oh no!

Mergo: Oh, he didn't do it. I'd 've heard from his first.

Judy: How do you know?

Mergo: He promised me the shot!

Judy: I...I love Melvin!

Judy: Harry Flack is coming to dinner Monday night.

Melvin: Oh. Well, that's simple. Poison him.

Judy: He wants to talk to Pop! He's going to propose!

Melvin: Propose! To your father?

Judy: Don't hurt Melvin!

Mr. Schneider: Hurt him! I'll rip his ears off!

Mrs. Schneider: Judy! Come on, get up! It's late! JUDY!

Judy: Aw, Mom, Bob Taylor was just saying something important!

Mrs. Schneider: Oh, come on!

Judy: Oh, just five minutes! Maybe I can dream him back!

Judy: [To Melvin] Would you like to have dinner with us?

Clarabelle: [To Judy] Pop says if the subject comes up, no.

Paul Banner: Look, Judy, I don't know the object of this visitation, but I would like to point out that it's one o'clock in the morning and that your husband might conceivably misconstrue the purity of your motives.

Judy: What a pompous little speech, darling. Can I have a cigarette?

Judy: You don't know what it is to *need* beautiful things, need 'em so bad you could die for the want of them.

Dan Tomlinson aka Will Sabre: Look, I told you I'd be back one of these days.

Judy: It's been over two years, Will. Not that I don't know what you've been doing. You make very good news!

Dan Tomlinson aka Will Sabre: I've quit.

Judy: If I let you change me, will that do it? If I do what you tell me, will you love me?

Scottie: Yes. Yes.

Judy: All right. All right then, I'll do it. I don't care anymore about me.

Judy: Couldn't you like me, just me the way I am? When we first started out, it was so good; w-we had fun. And... and then you started in on the clothes. Well, I'll wear the darn clothes if you want me to, if, if you'll just, just like me.

Scottie: The color of your hair...

Judy: Oh, no!

Scottie: Judy, please, it can't matter to you.