Judith Quotes in The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
Judith Quotes:
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Judith: [to Brian] Books can be good for something other than burning.
-- Judith -
Wayne: So Darren tells me you're a psychologist.
Judith: That's right.
Wayne: I'm in a related field.
Judith: Really? What is it?
Wayne: Pest and rodent removal.
Judith: How is that related?
Wayne: We both help people.
-- Judith -
[Darren has refused to stop seeing his friends or quit the band]
Judith: Ok, then. No more sex!
Darren: What?
Judith: You're not allowed to go down on me for a month!
[Darren is about to speak, but Judith cuts him off]
Judith: Don't *make me* take away your masturbation privileges!
-- Judith -
Judith: Have you ever had a girlfriend?
J.D.: Yes... No!
Judith: Have you ever fantasized about having sex with a man?
J.D.: Which man?
Judith: Any man!
J.D.: You mean like a tall man?
Judith: Sure, whatever!
J.D.: 'Cause I don't like tall people, they bother me!
Judith: What about a short man?
J.D.: How short? Some times people can be too short, that's weird like midgets!
Judith: Have you ever fantasized about having sex with any man, any man at all?
J.D.: Does that include celebrities?
-- Judith -
J.D.: Do you want a drink?
Judith: Scotch on the rocks.
J.D.: No problem. You want ice with that?
-- Judith -
[after Wayne, Sandy, and Neil Diamond crashed and ruined Judith's wedding by getting Darren back with Sandy, Judith becomes enraged with anger by walking towards Wayne and smacks him with a chair]
Judith: [screaming] YOU RUINED MY LIFE!
Wayne: [Judith pulls Wayne's legs] Ah! But I saved Darren's!
Judith: Just because I lost Darren doesn't mean I'm crazy enough to hook up with YOU!
[Wayne yells and screams while throwing Judith to the aisle]
Wayne: Hey! Why can't you just admit that when you kissed me you liked it?
Judith: Yeah, you're right. I have a weakness for incompotent morons.
[Judith smacks Wayne in the mouth and one of his teeth come out his lips. Then Wayne does the same thing and Judith spits out the loose tooth]
Wayne: [choking each other] Admit it! Aah! I'm the strong-willed, assertive man that you need and you're the hardcore bitch I've always dreamed of!
-- Judith -
Darren: Hi, I'm Darren.
[Judith looks confused and unimpressed]
Darren: Darren. My friend said you wanted to meet me.
Judith: He lied.
Darren: Haha, that's a good one.
Judith: No, seriously. I don't want to meet you.
-- Judith -
Judith: I don't want your shitty old house or your dead grandmother.
Wayne: I'll throw J.D. in. He doesn't look like much but girls call him the human power tool.
J.D.: It's true!
-- Judith -
J.D.: Judy, awesome to meet you.
Judith: Jud-*ith*.
J.D.: Judith. And a beer bong for the lady?
-- Judith -
Judith: It took balls. Big balls.
-- Judith -
J.D.: What happened?
Judith: [Karate yell] Wah!
-- Judith -
[In the garage of his house, Wayne is chaining up Judith after she escaped]
Wayne: [Finishes] There. That should keep you from escaping again. And this...
[pulls out a Catcher's mask]
Wayne: this...
[puts the mask on Judith's face]
Wayne: this should keep you from biting.
Judith: How am I gonna eat?
Wayne: I've thought of that.
[Wayne shows Judith a jar filled with breakfast mash and a straw]
Judith: What is that?
Wayne: It's breakfast. Pancakes, sausage, uh, hash brown, pop tart, pureed.
Judith: [disgusted] I'm not eating that shit. I want a Big Montana.
Wayne: A what?
Judith: A Big Montana from Arby's with curly fries.
Wayne: No, I'm not gonna get you one. If you don't wanna eat what I've made for you, then you can starve.
Judith: [freaks out] Why are you doing this?
Wayne: It's the only way to save our friendship.
Judith: [calms down] It doesn't seem like a friendship to me. It seems like you're in love with Darren.
Wayne: Bullshit!
[chuckles]
Wayne: I am so un-gay.
Judith: Okay, fine. Let's pretend for a second that you're straight. When the last time you've got any?
Wayne: That's none of your business.
Judith: So it's been years?
Wayne: I'm waiting for the right woman.
Judith: There is no right woman for you, Wayne. If my guess is, if there ever was, you've already met her and she's either killed herself or become a lesbian.
Wayne: [yells] Up yours!
Judith: Go to hell!
Wayne: Skank!
Judith: Eunuch!
Wayne: [screams] Stealer... of my FRIEND!
-- Judith -
[Wayne and JD have tried to convince Judith to leave Darren, unsuccessfully]
Judith: He's my puppet now. And I'm the puppet master.
-- Judith -
Judith: Happiness isn't always the best way to be happy.
-- Judith -
[last lines]
The Bull: Hey, Max?
Max: Yeah?
The Bull: When you go home, will you say good things about us?
Max: Yeah, I will.
The Bull: Thanks, Max.
Judith: You're the first king we haven't eaten.
Alexander: Yeah, that's true.
Judith: See ya.
Alexander: Bye, Max.
Max: Bye.
KW: Don't go. I'll eat you up; I love you so.
[all howl]
-- Judith -
Judith: Happiness is not always the best way to be happy.
-- Judith -
Max: Small is good. My powers are able to slip right through the cracks.
Judith: But what if the cracks are closed up?
Max: Then I have a re-cracker, which goes right through that.
Judith: But what if they have some sort of material that re-crackers can't get through?
Max: Then I have a double re-cracker, which can get through anything in this whole universe. And that's the end, and there's nothing more powerful after that, ever. Period.
Alexander: He has a double re-cracker.
Ira: He does sound powerful.
-- Judith -
Judith: Psst. Psst.
[signals for Max to come over]
Judith: What were you doing with Carol just now?
Max: Just talking.
Judith: Oh, a secret, huh? Let me ask you something. How does it work around here? Are we all the same or are some of us better than others or - ? You like to play favourites, huh, king?
[Ira accidentally hurts Judith]
Judith: Ow.
Max: No, I like all you guys equally.
Judith: Don't give me that. I can see how it is. The king has favourites. That's really cute.
[Ira hurts Judith again]
Judith: Ow! Stop! Do you have a favourite colour? Hey, can I be your favourite colour?
[laughs]
Judith: [Max imitates her laugh]
[Judith does it back]
Judith: [Max does it again, with more effort]
Judith: Ahahaha.
Max: Har har har.
Judith: [more evilly] ahahahaha!
Max: Har har har!
Judith: Ahahahahaha!
Max: HAR HAR HAR!
Judith: You know what? You can't do that back to me. If we're upset, your job is not to get upset back at us. Our job is to be upset. If I get mad and wanna eat you, then you have to say: "Oh, okay. You can eat me. I love you. Whatever makes you happy, Judith." That's what you're supposed to do!
-- Judith -
Judith: You know what I say. If you got a problem, eat it.
-- Judith -
Judith: Hey Benji! Remember who you are and what you stand for!
-- Judith -
Judith: Hi guys! Did you catch any neat rocks?
-- Judith -
Judith: Guess what? I heated up the hot water bottle so you can sit on it while we drive!
-- Judith -
Ms. Perky: [writing her novel] Undulating with desire, Adrian removes her red...
[breaks concentration, chooses another word]
Ms. Perky: crimson cape, at the site of Reginal's stiff and... Judith! What's another word for "engorged"?
Judith: [disgusted] I'll look it up.
Ms. Perky: Okay.
[thinking of word]
Ms. Perky: Swollen... Turgid...
Kat Stratford: [enters] Tumescent?
Ms. Perky: Perfect!
-- Judith -
Judith: [on Stan's desire to be a mother] Here! I've got an idea: Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb - which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans' - but that he can have the *right* to have babies.
Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother... sister, sorry.
Reg: What's the *point*?
Francis: What?
Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?
Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
Reg: It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.
-- Judith -
Francis: Why are you always on about women, Stan?
Stan: I want to be one.
Reg: What?
Stan: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.
Reg: What?
Stan: It's my right as a man.
Judith: Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?
Stan: I want to have babies.
Reg: You want to have babies?
Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
Reg: But... you can't have babies!
Stan: Don't you oppress me!
Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan! You haven't got a womb! Where's the foetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?
Stan: [starts to cry]
-- Judith -
Frank Baker: I just got out of jail. So if you're gonna blabber that all over the place we may as well pack up and leave now.
Judith: Frank.
Malcolm Hughes: You're not gonna leave, are ya?
-- Judith -
Frank Baker: What's he doing out there?
Judith: Who knows?
-- Judith -
Mrs. T: If only he'd put his mind to something. Use that brain of his for better things than those toys.
Judith: He's actually pretty smart.
-- Judith -
Judith: [to Frank] It's a job, dick head!
-- Judith -
Frank Baker: This is a convertible.
Judith: Oh yeah?
-- Judith -
Judith: [to Frank] You've blown it Frank!
-- Judith -
Judith: What in God's name got into you?
Frank Baker: He did it himself.
Judith: Crap Frank. You're a bloody liar!
-- Judith -
Frank Baker: Cops wouldn't know where to start looking. He never left his bedroom.
Judith: They're not total idiots. They find out sooner or later.
-- Judith -
[first lines]
Judith: [waves] Hello!
Grace: [waves] Hello!
-- Judith -
Ava: Judith, we've being going at this for weeks. Look around this office. What do you see?
Judith: A bunch of women with hair from India?
Ava: Look at me, Judith. What you should see is people in this office care about what they look like. Unlike you. We have over a billion dollars walking in and out of these offices looking for love. We have a standard to uphold. This is not our standard.
Judith: Okay, Ava... I don't have to wear fancy dresses and fancy shoes to prove that I'm qualified to do my job.
Ava: Yes, you do.
Judith: No, I don't. I have a degree.
Ava: A degree? A degree on the wall without labels on your back is nothing.
-- Judith -
Judith: You know... I've been meaning to tell you... you are in an existential identity crisis. I did my research on you. You spent two weeks in Paris and all of a sudden you got a French accent? Girl, we know you're actually from Georgia.
Janice: [breaking character; Southern accent] Bitch, you'd better get your ass outta my office!
-- Judith -
Sarah: [refering to Harley] That man is the devil! He will take you to hell with him!
Judith: Well, at least I'll enjoy the ride!
-- Judith -
Judith: Why are you trying to put spit in my hair?
Ava: I'm trying to be your friend here, Judith. When people look at you, it reflects bad on me. They don't think you have a mirror or a friend. And we know we're friends. My friends don't look like this. They look like this.
[points to herself]
-- Judith -
Judith: Is it true all Africans are cannibals?
Frances Griffiths: I've never met one. Do you have anymore stupid questions?
-- Judith -
Judith: I think I'll have a large order of prognosis negative!.
-- Judith -
Judith: Nothing can hurt us now. What we have can't be destroyed. That's our victory - our victory over the dark. It is a victory because we're not afraid.
-- Judith -
Judith: But I haven't time to be ill.
-- Judith -
Judith: Moving to Vermont are you? What do you do there in between yawns?
-- Judith -
Judith: I want you to have a party and be gay. Very, very gay!
-- Judith -
Judith: Excuse me, kids, I've won a prize.
-- Judith -
Judith: I've never taken orders from anyone. As long as I live, I'll never take orders from anyone. I'm young and strong and nothing can touch me.
-- Judith -
Judith: Confidentially, darling, this is more than a hangover.
-- Judith -
Judith: Here's a tragedy for you. Jessica's Girl has bronchitis and can't possibly last the night. Jessica's Girl is a horse. Poor Jessica's Girl.
-- Judith -
[last lines]
Judith: That you, Martha?
Martha, housekeeper: Yes, Miss Judith.
Judith: I don't want to be disturbed.
-- Judith -
Judith: Michael, how long have I had you?
Michael O'Leary: One month and three days.
Judith: Remind me to think about firing you!
-- Judith -
Judith: This is not right.
Abby: That's what makes it worth it.
-- Judith -
Maris: You know that I think?
Judith: What's that honey?
Maris: I think we're born at different times, but we're the same age. The part that counts. That part's the same. That's why we're here.
-- Judith -
[last lines]
Judith: I took him back to the water so he could swim. That's how it lives. That's how we live. He deserved another chance.
-- Judith -
[last lines]
[Pike finds White Bull in his camp with Judith, his bound captive]
Judith: Please... help me!
[White Bull rides out of camp on his majestic white horse. Pike, ignoring Judith's plight, takes off in pursuit, but the Indian escapes]
Pike: Help me... Please, help me.
-- Judith -
Judith: I know more Spanish than they do English!
Priest: Which is not the point, dear sister. Remember, I owe much to my generous patron and you owe much to me.
-- Judith
Browse more character quotes from The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
Characters on The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
- Jack Hall
- Sam Hall
- Simon
- Terry Rapson
- Dennis
- Vice President Becker
- Gomez
- Jason Evans
- Laura Chapman
- Library Security Guard
- Brian Parks
- Jeremy
- Parker
- President Blake
- J.D.
- Luther
- New York Bus Driver
- NY Businessman on Bus
- Man On Radio
- Frank Harris
- International Reporter, New Delhi
- L.A. Anchorman
- Cecil
- Cesar
- Janet Tokada
- Second Businessman
- Hideki, Japanese Astronaut
- RAF #1
- Booker
- Bart Chopper Reporter
- Japanese Woman