Joshua Quotes in Exodus: Gods and Kings (2014)

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Joshua Quotes:

  • Joshua: [cornered at the Red Sea] Do you even know where we are?

    Moses: Yes! We are at a point on the Earth where there is a sea ahead, and an army behind!

  • Joshua's Parrot: I see dead people, I see dead people...

    Joshua: He likes that movie, dunno why...

  • Joshua: The guy's wearing a damn skirt!

    Lyon: He's from Scotland.

    Joshua: Scotland? Scotland's shit. Kick his Scotland ass. Pull off his damn skirt, I'd like to see if he's got any drawers on.

  • Joshua: The whole bet is on Atilla!

    Lyon: Wrong bet!

  • Joshua: Jiiiive turkey.

  • Joshua: Don't ever lose your heart Lionheart, 'cause you'll never get it back.

  • Joshua: Here! Water lily!

    Lilia: My name is Lilia.

    Joshua: To me you are a lily, and I want water.

    Lilia: Joshua. Joshua, I thought you'd never come down.

    Joshua: Water before love, my girl.

    Lilia: Does it take the whole Nile to quench your thirst?

    Joshua: No, just your lips.

    Lilia: Be careful, my love. Dathan's eyes can see through stone.

    Joshua: Dathan is a vulture, feeding on the flesh of his own people.

    Lilia: When he looks at me, I am afraid.

    Joshua: If he touches you, I'll strangle him with his own whip!

    Lilia: And bring death to a thousand of us?

    Joshua: Is life in bondage better than death?

  • Joshua: Praise God, I have found you.

    Moses: Joshua? We thought you dead.

    Joshua: In the copper mines of Geber, the living are dead.

    Moses: Sephora! Bring water! How did you find me?

    Joshua: A merchant buying copper saw you in the tent of Jethro.

    Moses: [Moses softly tapped Josha's back] Here you, too, will find peace.

    Joshua: [a stunned look came over Joshua's face, as he almost crossed his eyes] Peace? How can you find peace or want it when Rameses builds cities mortared with the blood of our people?

  • Joshua: Let the old woman loose!

    Egyptian guard: She'll stay where she is, and you'll die in the lion pit!

    Lilia: Joshua!

    Yochabel: Run to the prince and beg mercy!

    Lilia: Mercy from Rameses?

    Yochabel: No. From Prince Moses, there on the pavilion.

  • Joshua: They told me you were dead.

    Lilia: To all I loved, Joshua, I am dead.

    Joshua: Dathan?

    Lilia: Yes. Dathan.

    Joshua: Of your own free will?

    Lilia: My own free will.

    Joshua: You are no man's slave! The hour of deliverance has come!

    Lilia: Not for me, Joshua.

  • Lilia: Joshua. We must have hope. God will send us the deliverer.

    Joshua: Hope. On the heels of every hope walks Dathan.

  • Joshua: God of Abraham, four hundred years we have waited.

    Moses: Pharaoh's soldiers won't wait so long.

    Joshua: The Almighty has heard our cries from bondage. You are the Chosen One!

    Moses: I know nothing of your god.

    Joshua: He knows you, Moses. He has brought you to us. You cannot turn your back upon us. You will deliver us!

  • Lilia: Joshua!

    Joshua: Run, Lilia, run! The way is clear. The master builder will not follow.

    Baka: Neither will you, stonecutter.

    [Joshua tried to escape, running backwards, but was captured by Baka's guards]

    Baka: Bind him between the columns! See that his arms are tightly stretched!

    Egyptian guard: He'll cut him to pieces.

    Baka: Now go after the girl. Don't come back without her.

    Egyptian guard: We'll find her.

    Baka: You foolish, stupid man. I would have kept her only a short while. She would have returned to you, shall we say, more worthy. Now to whom shall I return Lilia? You will not be there, Joshua.

    [saying this, Baka starts to lash Joshua]

    Baka: You've seen me drive my chariot. I can flick a fly from my horse's ear without breaking the rhythm of his stride. You've seen me use my whip.

    [Baka lashed Joshua again]

    Baka: You make no outcry, Joshua, but you will. You will cry for the mercy of death.

    Joshua: One day you will listen to the cry of slaves.

    Baka: This is not that day, Joshua.

    [Baka lashed another stripe on Joshua]

    Baka: You hold your tongue almost as well as I hold my temper. It's a pity to kill so strong a stonecutter.

    Moses: [Moses caught Baka's whip, pulled it, and turned Baka around] Death will bring death, Baka!

    Baka: Who are you?

    Moses: One who asks what right you have to kill a slave.

    Baka: The right of a master to kill you or any slave.

    Moses: Then kill me, master butcher!

    [Moses then caught and used Baka's whip, choking Baka to death]

    Baka: Moses!

    [Baka's last line]

  • Moses: You know it is death to strike an Egyptian?

    Joshua: I know it.

    Moses: Yet you struck him. Why?

    Joshua: To save the old woman.

    Moses: What is she to you?

    Joshua: An old woman.

    [Joshua was defending his Hebrew race]

    Egyptian guard: Lord Prince, send him to his death!

    Moses: The man has courage. You do not speak like a slave.

    Joshua: God made men. Men made slaves.

    Moses: Which god?

    Joshua: The God of Abraham. The Almighty God!

    Moses: If your God is Almighty, why does He leave you in bondage?

    Joshua: He will choose the hour of our freedom and the man who will deliver us!

  • Lilia: [singing] Death cometh to me, to set me free, death cometh to me.

    Joshua: No, Lilia. Death will not come to you.

    Lilia: Joshua! Joshua, you risk your life in coming here. You are firstborn.

    Joshua: So are you. I bring lamb's blood to mark the door posts and lintel... that the Angel of Death may pass you by.

    Lilia: Joshua, it is enough that you have come to me. I am outcast among our people. Do not save me from death, Joshua. Save me from life!

    Joshua: Tomorrow will bring a new world for us, Lilia!

  • Baka: They use the old ones to do the work of greasing the stones, Lord Prince. If they are killed, it is no loss.

    Moses: Are you a master builder or a master butcher?

    Baka: If we stop moving stones for every grease woman who falls, the city would never rise.

    Overseer: If the slaves are not driven, they will not work.

    Joshua: If their work lags, it is because they are not fed.

    Moses: You look strong enough.

    Joshua: I am a stonecutter. The Pharaohs likes their images cut deep.

  • Joshua: I'm doing a man thing here. Staring death in the face. Stuff like that.

  • Joshua: Isn't it time we did that father-son bonding thing or somethin'?

  • Joshua: I'm supposed to wanna do that sort of thing at my age. It's a teen thing.

  • Bambi Belisario: Bitch!

    Suzanne Reyes: Double bitch!

    Joshua: Hahahaha... Rub a dub dub, two bitches in a tub!

  • Mary: He MySpaced me.

    Nathan: Ouch!

    Mary: Oh.

    Joshua: Oh girl I don't know about that... My trampy little sister says MySpace is the new booty call.

  • Joshua: Are you married, Mr. Kimble?

    Detective John Kimble: No, I'm not.

    [Joshua sticks his head into the hallway]

    Joshua: [shouts] He's not married, Mom!

  • Michael: Do you see this writing...? Do you know what it means...? Hospitality. And you can't piss on hospitality! I WON'T ALLOW IT!

    [reaching for his belt]

    Joshua: What are you going to do to me, Daddy?

    Michael: Tightening my belt one loop so that I don't feel hunger pains, and your sister and mother will have to do likewise. Okay, Joshua. You wanna get rough with me? You wanna show me that you don't like the choice of this house for our vacation by going on a hunger strike? Well, I'll accept the challenge. But just remember when I was your age, I really did suffer from hunger. We'll se who gets through this, but just remember I've got more practice than you. I'll see you tomorrow.

  • Joshua: A double-decker bologna sandwich!

    Creedence: Aaahhh! Think about the cholesterol! Think about... THE TOXINS...!

  • Joshua: Nilbog! It's goblin spelled backwards! This is their kingdom!

  • Diana: Joshua, start singing. Come on, sing that song I like so much.

    Joshua: I don't feel like singing, Mom!

    Diana: Just sing.

    Joshua: [singing] Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream...

    DianaJoshua: [both singing] Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily. Life is but a dream...

  • [last lines]

    Joshua: They're eating my mom!

    Troll: Do you want some, Joshua?

    Joshua: AHHHHH!

  • Joshua: We NEED Grandpa Seth here!

    Holly: But how do we get him to come? By having a seance maybe?

    Joshua: You're genius big sister!

  • Joshua: Don't tell me they ate him, Grandpa!

    Seth: That's exactly what happened... with a voracity than has no equal on Earth!

  • Joshua: [after the residents of Nilbog try to force-feed him a spoonful of magic ice cream filled with sap] I DON'T WANT TO!

    Michael: [hearing Joshua's scream, dashing into the barn] STOP! What are you doing to my son?

  • Joshua: Grandpa! Grandpa Seth! Are you here?

    Seth: [the lights begin to flicker and Grandpa Seth's whole head only appears in front of Joshua's reflection in the mirror] What happened?

    Joshua: You were in the wrong room! Holly was sleeping there!

    Seth: I still have to learn the layout of this house...

  • Joshua: Grandpa! Are you really in Hell?

    Seth: No! But I know a trick that a friend of mine who went there taught me!

  • Seth: These evil creatures can transform themselves into fleas-and-blood people whenever and however they want.

    Joshua: You're making a mistake Grandpa. Who said they can? You should of said they could or what kind of fairy tale is it?

    Seth: They can! They CAN! Goblins still exist! Your Grandpa Seth is telling you!

  • Seth: [Grandpa Seth's whole head only appears in front of Holly's reflection in the mirror, before the lights begin to flicker] Joshua! Joshua!

    Holly: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

    [dashes out her bedroom]

    Holly: Ahhhhhh! Mom! Dad! Mom!

    [banging vigorously on her parents' bedroom door]

    Diana: [comforting Holly who is at this point panicking] What is it?

    Michael: What's the matter?

    Holly: I saw him!

    Diana: Who? Who did you see?

    Holly: Grandpa Seth!

    Joshua: See, it wasn't me this time!

  • Joshua: You can flush your manhood down the toilet.

  • Joshua: You can have premarital sex under my roof anytime.

  • Joshua: You think that the leopard misses more than he catches?

  • [last lines]

    Joshua: [voiceover] I learned to say "I'm sorry" and "thank you" and how to keep my fists to myself, but the best lesson I learned...

    Amber: Help me up.

    Joshua: [voiceover] First you kiss the hand and then you kiss the girl.

  • Joshua: Man, you got a mean left hook.

    Ryan: Ooo. Sorry about that. Hey, you know, your shots were pretty good, too. I was feelin' that the next day.

  • [opening lines]

    Joshua: [voiceover] Ever think on how you got somewhere, or why? Well, my somewhere was an art town on the edge of the Pacific. The name of the place didn't matter much. I just knew I didn't belong.

  • Ryan: So, what're you doin' here?

    Joshua: I just... I love hangin' out with old people.

  • Joshua: [noting her school uniform] That's a nice outfit, by the way.

    Amber: Thank you. It's required.

    Joshua: Thank God. I was beginning to think your grandma dressed you.

  • Vanessa: Joshua, are you an only child?

    Joshua: What does the file say?

    Vanessa: It's incomplete.

    Joshua: Yeah, well, that sounds like me.

  • Amber: If only you were a couple years older.

    Joshua: Yeah, it's funny, you know, I was just thinking if only YOU were a couple years YOUNGER.

  • Everly: The judge asked me to house you in the hope that you might benefit from some tutelage from me. Personally, I think you're a born loser who's gonna squander his talent before he realizes its full potential.

    Joshua: Wow. That was some, uh... that was some motivational speech.

  • Joshua: Yeah, he's cool, but, uh, I DO think, that after all my efforts, that I, uh, deserve a kiss.

    Amber: Whoo! Slow down! Ha-ha. A kiss for the con man who punched my brother.

    Joshua: Yeah.

    Amber: Hnn.

    Joshua: That sounds reasonable. It's an idea.

    Amber: I have an idea.

    Joshua: What?

    Amber: How about you kiss my butt when I beat you down the beach?

    Joshua: What do I get if I win?

    Amber: Nothing, and you'll like it!

  • Joshua: My mom never noticed I was good at anything.

    Everly: Hm, your mother.

    Joshua: I wonder what she's doing right now.

    Everly: Probably takin' drugs in an alleyway somewhere. Oh, geez, what? You're gonna cry now?

  • Amber: [wondering about Joshua's flippant attitude over Anne-Marie] Have you ever taken art history?

    Joshua: Not really.

    Amber: All right, well, I'll tell you this - tons of artists would KILL to have a conversation with her, talk to her about her life, her art...

    Joshua: Yeah, she is a piece of work.

  • Everly: You take a painting by a particular artist, a lesser known work of little value; you strip it and then paint a forgery of a more valuable work over it.

    Joshua: Wow, I guess you have this thing down to a science.

    Everly: Many paintings hanging in great museums are forgeries.

    Joshua: Really? Like, even famous ones?

    Everly: You better believe it.

  • Martin: All's well and good.

    Leon: If you have wild blood.

    Martin: I bet my legs on it.

    Joshua: My legs, too.

    Leon: My soul.

    Vanessa: And all of my heart.

  • Joshua: what happened to my father? Back in Gatlin what did you do to him?

    Eli Porter: Made sure he'd never hurt you again.

  • Joshua: How did you come up with this?

    Neil Hamilton: It's an accidental hormone concoction. It's like tryin' to make a martini and endin' up with LSD.

  • Joshua: [answers the telephone] Hello?... Yeah he's here, sort of

    [laughs, then whispers to Neil]

    Joshua: It's Dr. Travis!

    Neil Hamilton: Hello, Kate? Look, if it's about the job, I'm still not interested, I...?

    [hesitates and listens, looking concerned]

    Neil Hamilton: ... I'll be on the next flight.

    [hangs up the phone]

    Neil Hamilton: Joshua...

    Joshua: [annoyed but jokingly] Yes Neil, I will find someone to cover your lecture. I'll feed your little girlfriend...

    [holds up Neil's beloved pet white rat with a smile]

    Joshua: ... and I won't ask any questions.

    [Joshua strokes the rat while Neil leaves the lab]

  • Neil Hamilton: [Joshua has just found a disemboweled corpse, and he is leaning over the railing in shock. Neil rushes over to him and notices the sewer with running water] It's a sewer system... could be where the nest is.

    Joshua: You're going to need more than just tracking dogs...

    Neil Hamilton: [confused] Why?

    Joshua: Water...

    [coughs violently]

    Joshua: dogs that can follow a scent in water...

    [continues coughing]

    Neil Hamilton: [worried] ... You alright?

    [Joshua nods his head, on the verge of crying. The scene changes and Zeke is heard screaming in terror]

  • Neil Hamilton: [Neil and Alex rush through the tunnels to find Joshua bleeding to death on the ground. Neil kneels down beside him in concern] Josh!

    [Joshua moans in pain]

    Neil Hamilton: Oh, don't worry... listen up buddy, we're gonna get you to a med center, don't worry about it.

    [Neil puts his hand over the rat bite to stop the bleeding]

    Joshua: [softly] You son of a bitch... I see you're smoking again... I smell it on your breath...

    [both of them laugh sadly]

    Joshua: ... give me one.

    Neil Hamilton: Hang on, bud.

    [with tears running down his face, Neil takes a cigarette from his pocket, lights it and gives it to Joshua]

    Joshua: It works...

    [Joshua weakly holds up the radio-transmitter device but then bleeds to death. Neil starts crying, in grief over the loss of his best friend]

    Alex Reed: [livid and in tears herself, Alex walks up to the police] NOW will you admit that there's a problem?

    Lt. Wetzel: [nonchalant] She's right, we gotta do somethin'...

    Dean White: Of course we've got to do something... I'll, uh, call some exterminators and Lieutenant, you get together your best men and... find them and kill them, kill them all.

    Alex Reed: We have got a plan! And we can...

    Dean White: I think that the exterminators can take care of this! I want extra security around the sports complex, the official opening is in two hours, and I see no reason to do anything but. Get on it!

    [the Dean walks off, leaving Alex looking disgusted]

  • Joshua: This is the food of the gods! You realize how valuable this is? Big cows. Big fish. Big pigs. Food for everyone and anyone! We're talkin' the end of world hunger, here.

  • Joshua: You, you and you-guard the cats.

  • The Reverend: Cats or death?

    Joshua: Cats aren't what you need!

    The Reverend: Then let it be death!

  • Joshua: I don't want to be famous anymore. You're the one that wants the light on you now. I'm just looking for the light that used to be in you.

  • [after playing out all possible outcomes for Global Thermonuclear War]

    Joshua: Greetings, Professor Falken.

    Stephen Falken: Hello, Joshua.

    Joshua: A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?

  • Joshua: Shall we play a game?

    David Lightman: Oh!

    Jennifer: [giggles] I think it missed him.

    David Lightman: Yeah. Weird isn't it?

    Jennifer: Yeah.

    David Lightman: [typing] Love to. How about Global Thermonuclear War?

    Joshua: Wouldn't you prefer a nice game of chess?

    [Jennifer laughs]

    David Lightman: [typing] Later. Let's play Global Thermonuclear War.

    Joshua: Fine.

  • David Lightman: [typing] What is the primary goal?

    Joshua: You should know, Professor. You programmed me.

    David Lightman: Oh, come on.

    David Lightman: [typing] What is the primary goal?

    Joshua: To win the game.

  • David Lightman: [typing] People sometimes make mistakes.

    Joshua: Yes, they do.

  • David Lightman: [typing] Is this a game... or is it real?

    Joshua: What's the difference?

    David Lightman: [muttering] Oh wow.

    Joshua: You are a hard man to reach. Could not find you in Seattle and no terminal is in operation at your classified address.

    David Lightman: [typing] What classified address?

    Joshua: D.O.D. pension files indicate current mailing as: Dr. Robert Hume, a.k.a. Stephen W. Falken, 5 Tall Cedar Road, Goose Island, Oregon 97...

  • Joshua: Which side do you want?

    David Lightman: [Looks at Jennifer] I'll be the Russians.

  • Lady Susan Walker: Wait! A snake in my tub, will you?

    Joxer Tierney: What's going on here?

    Lady Susan Walker: Killing him is not the answer. If you want to turn their guts to water, you're gonna have to come up with something special. Their blasted missionary's turned them into 'God-Save-Us' Christians... cramming their woolly heads with empty words like equality, justice and mercy.

    Joshua: Honky whore!

    Lady Susan Walker: [she slaps him] His only begotten son... Crucify the bastard!

  • Joshua: Five? I killed nearly twice that many in the war.

  • Rex: Must get lonely riding out there all alone.

    Joshua: I got my horse.

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