Josephine Quotes in Tombstone (1993)

Josephine: I'm a woman, I like men. If that means I'm not "lady-like", then I guess I'm just not a lady! At least I'm honest.

Wyatt Earp: You're different. No arguin' that. But you're a lady alright. I'd take my oath on it.

Senior Ed Bloom: I don't know if you're aware of this, Josephine, but African parrots, in their native home of the Congo, they speak only French.

Josephine: Really?

Senior Ed Bloom: You're lucky to get four words out of them in English, but if you were to walk through the jungle, you'd hear them speaking the most elaborate French. Those parrots talk about everything. Politics, movies, fashion. Everything but religion.

Will Bloom: Why not religion, Dad?

Senior Ed Bloom: It's rude to talk about religion. You never know who you're gonna offend.

Will Bloom: Josephine actually went to the Congo last year.

Senior Ed Bloom: Oh, so you know.

Josephine: I'd like to take your picture.

Senior Ed Bloom: Oh, you don't need a picture. Just look up "handsome" in the dictionary.

Josephine: Oh, so this is a tall tale?

Senior Ed Bloom: Well, it's not a short one.

Josephine: [the phoe rings as a pregnant Josephine and Will come home from the grocery store, she lays the bags down and answers the phone] Qui appelle? Yes. Yes, he's here.

[she turns to Will and extends the phone]

Josephine: It's your mother.

Will Bloom: [he takes the phone] Hi.

[he holds up a 'one second' sign as he talks to her]

Will Bloom: What does Dr.Bennet say? No, sure, I'll talk to him. Yeah, I'll wait.

Josephine: It's bad?

Will Bloom: Yeah, it's more than they thought. They're gonna stop chemo.

Josephine: You need to go.

Will Bloom: Probably tonight.

Josephine: I'm going with you.

Will Bloom: No, no, no. You shouldn't.

[he places his hand on Josephine's stomach]

Josephine: I'm going with you.

[Will strokes her face]

Josephine: What's in the basket?

Duane Bradley: [laughs] My brother!

Josephine: Your brother? What is he? A midget?

Duane Bradley: No, he's deformed!

Josephine: [Shortly after booking into the hotel, Duane is accosted by a strange woman he does not know] Hi! I'm Josephine! What room are you in?

Duane Bradley: Seven.

Josephine: Oh, you are so lucky! That's the best room in the place! It was lived in by a little old lady who only went out on Sundays. She lived there for ages, used to tell everyone she was rich, owned oil wells in Texas, had millions, and was hiding from her relatives who were trying to steal it from her. She'd creep up to you and say... "They're trying to take my money, but they don't know where I am!" Oh, everyone thought she was nuts! Then one day, she appeared in the lobby dressed in pearls and jewels, said she was leaving to tour the world. She paid her bill and left, no one's heard from her since.

[she leaves abruptly]

Serge: We are still married, in the eyes of God.

Josephine: Then He must be blind.

Comte de Reynaud: Rumor has it you are harbouring Madame Muscat. Is that true?

Vianne Rocher: You make her sound like a fugitive.

Comte de Reynaud: She *is* a fugitive. From her marriage vows, which have been sanctified by God.

Vianne Rocher: Joséphine? Come out here a minute. Let His Radiance have a look at you, hm?

[shows the Comte the ugly bruise on Joséphine's forehead]

Vianne Rocher: Is that sanctified enough for you? It's not the first time.

Comte de Reynaud: I am truly sorry. You should have come to me. Your husband will be made to repent for this.

Josephine: Tell him to repent on someone else's head.

Josephine: [hitting her husband over the head with a cooking pan] Who says I can't use a skillet?

Josephine: You don't misbehave here. It's just not done, did you know that? If you don't go to confession, if you don't... dig your flowerbeds, or if you don't pretend, if you don't pretend... that you want nothing more in your life than to serve your husband three meals a day, and give him children, and vacuum under his ass, then... then you're... then you're crazy.

Vianne Rocher: Things could be different for you, Josephine. Serge doesn't run the world.

Josephine: He might as well.

Vianne Rocher: Is that what you believe?

Josephine: I know it.

Vianne Rocher: Oh. Well, then it must be... must be true. My mistake.

Vianne Rocher: Things could be different for you, Josephine. Serge doesn't rule the world.

Josephine: He might as well.

Vianne Rocher: Is that what you believe?

Josephine: I know it.

Vianne Rocher: Oh, well, then it... it must be true. My mistake.

Josephine: If you leave, everything will go back to the way it was.

Vianne Rocher: Everything *is* the way it was.

Josephine: Not for me!

Frieda: Do not forget, this guy is buying a virgin, so she's got to act it right. You've got to give him the idea that you don't know nothing. It should be like a rape.

Josephine: You don't know. Could be a different kind of guy. Someone that wants you to act like she wants it.

Frieda: The main thing is to whimper and cry when he starts, but then you've got to act like it feels good.

Violet: I know what to do. Leave me alone.

Hattie: Well, don't act like you know it all. You won't even get a tip that way.

Fanny: Violet, you should touch him down there, you know, like it's accidental.

Violet: I know, I know all that.

Josephine: [Margaret has tipped the girls beds upside down looking for Crispina's holy medal, she has found it under Bernadette's bed] What have you done to my bed?

Crispina: [Crispina runs up and hugs Margaret] My Saint Christopher, you found it, God bless ya.

Margaret: You dirty thieving bitch!

[Margaret dives at Bernadette and drags her down to the ground by her hair, where they start to wrestle]

Rose: [Rose tries desperately to pull them apart] God, will you stop that? Stop it, for Gods sake!

Margaret: [they finally stop fighting] You're a wicked bitch, you know that? You're a wicked thieving bitch! She had Crispina's Saint Christopher under her bed! The only thing that girl owns in the whole world and you stole it!

Crispina: You found my Saint Christopher. Thank you, thank you!

Margaret: [Margaret grabs Crispina roughly by the arm and points at Bernadette] Don't you understand? She stole it!

Crispina: Yeah, but you found it.

Margaret: Am I the only one who thinks that what she did was completely despicable?

[long silence]

Margaret: Oh, you can all just go to hell!