Jonathan Lundy Quotes in Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)

Daniel: [as Mrs. Doubtfire in his own voice] Sorry I'm late. After all those scotches I had to piss like a racehorse.

[Takes a drink of scotch]

Jonathan Lundy: Daniel?

Daniel: Yeah?

Jonathan Lundy: Why in God's name are you dressed like a woman?

Daniel: Oh, damn. Well, I'd like you to meet the host of your new show.

Jonathan Lundy: Host?

Daniel: [in Mrs. Doubtfire's voice] Euphegenia Doubtfire, dear. I specialize in the education and entertainment of children.

[pause]

Daniel: Surprise!

Jonathan Lundy: Tell me, why would Mrs. Doubtfire be a good host?

Daniel: [in Mrs. Doubtfire's voice] I'm a hip old granny who can hip-hop, bebop, dance til ya drop and yo yo, make a wicked cup of cocoa.

Daniel: [Discussing the boring children's show] What kind of idiot kept this guy on the air for twenty-five years?

Jonathan Lundy: Me.

[introductions, ending with:]

Daniel: I'm Daniel Hillard, former employee.

Jonathan Lundy: [after Daniel tells him about an ex in the dining staff] Does your girlfriend have a girlfriend?

Daniel: Hey, it's the '90s!

Jonathan Lundy: Where the hell have you been? I took the liberty of ordering you another Scotch.

Daniel: Bully!

Jonathan Lundy: Daniel?

Daniel: Hmm?

Jonathan Lundy: Are you wearing ladies' perfume?

Daniel: Yes, I am.

Jonathan Lundy: Are you wearing lipstick?

Daniel: Yeah.

Jonathan Lundy: Why?

Daniel: It rubbed off.

Jonathan Lundy: From whom?

Daniel: [he pauses, trying to come up with an answer] Girl I used to date. She's a waitress.

Jonathan Lundy: A waitress? Here?

Daniel: Oh, yeah. On the way to the bathroom... couldn't keep her hands off me.

Jonathan Lundy: You dog.

Daniel: [sniggers] You scallywag!